Hey guys! I got my poop in a pile

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Can you resist the siren song of using poop in a title or an image of poop as a weapon? I can't.  What a world. What a world.

It's a good thing vacation is worth it, because the prep going into it and dealing with the cyclone coming out of it is a bitch. Yesterday I worked from home to concentrate on a lot of writing I had to do and knocked that out like a boss, even though it took me until 11 pm. With two more hours in my day because of the lack of commute and the ability to do a quick task on my way to or from the bathroom, I was able to get my house back in order, which was no small feat given the destruction on each level in every room. It's like we returned from vacation and vomited all over our own house with our own things.

Some things are still out of place as always - I don't have the fire within me to finish the basement purge and reorganization right now, so things are still going down there to sit and collect dust - but I do feel like things have been set pretty much to rights.

What needs to go back to the shore is packed up and in the basement ready to be loaded into cars, including my new beach chair, and the cluttered dining room table from hell was mostly cleared.

New sheets are on the bed, and that's the only place I am okay with pattern mixing. Five loads of laundry were done and some was put away. This is not dream life, this is real life. In dream life all the laundry is put away immediately, no one is a fucking asshole, everyone has more than enough of what they need, you can eat what you want and never gain too much weight, no one puts the toilet paper on so it pulls from underneath, we're all equal, you can always find the shoes you want in your size, there's no litter, and dogs never pee or poop inside.

A vat of iced coffee is turning itself into magic in the fridge, a fresh pitcher of mint green iced tea was made, power breakfast muffins were made and frozen, and mexican stuffed shells were made and half frozen. The ones with cheese are dinner tomorrow.

My reusable bags have made their way back to my trunk after a big Target re-stocking trip and I returned shoes to Famous Footwear that I kept forgetting to return. Hey Target, why the F would you sell a light up Hangry sign? It is a state of being that is frankly dangerous for the people in its line of fire. No one is safe. Bring food. 

Geege got his pre-dental bloodwork done at the vet and my furry coworkers got a shit ton of attention.

I used the sassy oven mitts I picked up on vacation and put some of my treasures in my living room shell jar. I like looking at my various shell spots and knowing they're from so many different places.

And I displayed a little art card I picked up on vacation. My God does not care what you look like outside but my God does care what you look like inside and my God don't like ugly. 

We're heading to the shore tonight, and I feel a lot better about my life getting my poop in a pile at home and work. I hope you're heading into the weekend feeling good about where you are today. If you're not, there's always tomorrow.

Toodleoo and TGIF, mofos. And happy birthday to my friend Mr. Chris.

Thursday Thoughts - plunged back into reality

1. I was expecting a tough first week back after two weeks out of the office and over 10 days away from home but christ on a crutch both of my eyes have a twitch and I'm hanging on for dear life for the weekend. I have dropped every basket I have at this point.

2. It did not help that I scheduled things for Tuesday (Lola visit and later a massage), Wednesday (hair appointment and Target trip), and Thursday nights (Geege vet appointment and library trip). Dumbass, party of one. All of the things were good and enjoyable or necessary, but it was stupid of me to load up most of the weeknights this week because my house looks like a bomb went off in every room on every level. You know the damn dining room table is on that list. Michelle saved me a Friday trip to her house to pick up linens. Praise the lort.

3. Thrive Market, who uses it? They had something I wanted, so I placed an order. Then I did a little more research on them. Fair warning: if you use the link I gave you get 15% off of your first order and I get $25 if you end up signing up after the trial basis. If you do join for $60 a year, you get discounted prices on healthy, organic stuff and you sponsor a low-income family so they get a free membership. Get good and do good. This is right up my alley. And since ordering most of my stuff online is how I buy myself more time, I thought I'd share it in case that's how you buy yourself time too. 

4. I kept my Amazon Prime Day purchases to books. I also have a bunch of books on my kindle so I think I'm officially on a library fast. I don't buy new books often but when I do I do it in bulk. I am more likely to buy used paperbacks on a more frequent basis.

5. This weekend officially marks the halfway point of the rental season at the shore. It's been easier this year than last year - I have less anxiety about the entire process and know better what I can control and what I can't control. We've been blessed with really great people who treat our home like their home. I haven't been to the shore since July 3 and I'm anxious to get back there this weekend.

6. Yesterday MFD attended the National Sit-In at the Capitol Building with some Philly-area healthcare warriors. This link takes you to some footage outside of Toomey's office yesterday. In the last video, MFD is the guy in the white shirt walking out first. He was arrested along with over 150 other people from around the nation - Joe Citizens, doctors, nurses. It's kind of weird to see your husband being arrested on video on a CNN reporter's Twitter feed. He was sprung a few hours later. Here's some footage of his testimony on The Hill.

I don't even know how to talk about this healthcare debacle. The shitstain of a replacement plan failed, yay. Your president wants to repeal without replacing, which will plunge many into despair, dire straits, and death, boo. And I actually think that's the long game, the TRUE intent...so that what would have happened under the shitstain plan will still happen if there is an ACA repeal without replacement but can then be blamed on the failing ACA which has been the conservative banshee wail for the past eight years instead of placing the blame where it belongs - on the people who are choosing greed and corporate welfare over actual people. Instead of improving upon anything that was conceived under President Obama, they will choose to let people DIE. What is more devastating than that is the comments from citizens who support it. They don't fully understand what a difference the ACA made for all of us, even those on employer healthcare, and there are people out there who will not understand a damn thing until it happens to them or their family. Health is a fickle thing...you have it until you don't. People are more worried about people mooching off the government (I'm not even going to go into how that is not the case in regards to the ACA, in any way) and by extension, them, than they are about fellow human beings suffering terribly and dying. If I had to choose between giving someone I didn't know who I didn't think deserved it $100 or watching that same person die because I didn't give it to them, I'm giving them the goddamn $100 because that's the human thing to do. Are you? If the choice is my money or someone's life, I'm going to say take my money, every time. 

If you refuse to give poor or even "lazy" people affordable access to healthcare but don't bat an eye when CEOs collect millions in bonuses because their companies pay very little in taxes, something is very fucking wrong.

Here's the thing...we both have jobs and pay taxes and are lucky to be covered under a generous healthcare plan through an employer. This healthcare thing is important to us even if we are the least affected individuals because we are younger and healthy (for now). There seems to be some misinformation on the internet (say it isn't so) that people demonstrating on this healthcare issue are jobless miscreants that just want to take from the government. Or that people demonstrating and showing up are being paid. We are proof that neither of those scenarios is the case. Why are those ridiculous notions more preferable and comfortable for people to believe than the fact that the people showing up to demonstrate on any issue are people who care about their country and their fellow citizens - indeed, they care enough to use time off or personal time and to knowingly risk arrest to be heard? Instead of being hateful to people who care about something, turn your energy to your congress people and ask what the hell they're doing for you while they're in their offices avoiding constituents ON YOUR DIME. I will keep fighting for medicare for all because fuck, what if you get sick and somewhere along the way you lose your job and then you can't get insurance because you now have a pre-existing condition? You're not dying on my watch because you can't afford care. Fuck that. This is America for Christ's sake. Don't fucking tell me Europe can figure this out and we can't.

p.s. Thoughts to John McCain and family. A survivor, a hero, and one of the last respectable moderate republicans. Stay strong. Be well.

7. Local friends, I don't know about you, but I'm always looking for a place to donate school supplies. Here's where I'm doing it this year. You can also use this wish list to send supplies direct to the most poorly funded school district in the country: Reading School District here in PA. From the Reading wish list, the items needed most are colored pencils, pencils, colored copy paper, glue (glue sticks are best), markers (thick, thin, whatever), and lined paper.

8. Since MFD was in DC yesterday for the Senate Healthcare sit-in and I forgot I had a hair appointment right after work, my Mom let the dogs out for us. She always sends video and gives a poop report. She is the poophawk. Good thing because I was a half hour late to my hair appointment because of a fatality on the train tracks. Someone died somewhere down the line, had to get on a different train track, took a short walk through a small dead town, got some blonde in my hair, and my husband got arrested so I had to uber home. Last night was a verse from a country music song.

9. Reminder:

10. E-card of the week...since we already introduced poop as a point.

Hasta la vista, baby.

Thursday Thoughts

1. I think this is the universal sign for fuck everyone who enters this bathroom after me. Yes, this photo is from my own bathroom.

2. Since I've opened up with a roll of toilet paper rakishly left off the MFing holder, I might as well follow up with gross dog tales. Gus had a significantly awful butt incident Monday, went to the vet Tuesday, got checked out and tested for parasites...nothing. We think it's colitis. The vet says nothing. I hate when my dogs are not well, I really want them to be able to talk and tell me how to help them. I spent all of Tuesday and Wednesday nights cleaning up dog poop all over. MFD had the day shifts, which are infinitely longer. It's a veritable poopacalypse in our house. Geege remains my best nicest boy and Mae seems to be faring well on wet food only. She only pukes when I give her dry food. This concludes the report on my dogs' bodily functions that you did not ask for. Bye.

3. In June, I meant to participate in Dani & Erin's Challenge to read all of my books - books I've had sitting on shelves, paperbacks shoved into crevices. Instead I rode the Library Gravy Train to shiny new books. I did manage to clear out my Netgalley account and read the three books I had from them, as well as three that had been sitting on my kindle for what felt like a decade. I consider myself mildly successful in reading my e-books, although I do still have some long lingerers on the kindle. I didn't manage to read one single physical book I already owned. So, in addition to the shit ton of books still on my kindle, as well as the $2 paperbacks I couldn't resist at Barnes & Noble to leave in the apartment at the shore, I still have the stack of books on the bookshelf at home that I set aside specifically for this challenge, crying read me as if they're marooned on the Island of Misfit Toys. Maybe next month? Probably not. I can't quit the library.

4. Of course I partook in Amazon Prime Day on Tuesday. I got MFD a hammock he wanted ($30 off), a Kindle Paperwhite for moi ($20 off), and two sets of king size sheets, 50% off each. And this time I used Amex points so it was all freeee. Free is for me. The best way for me to shop Prime Day is to look on my various wish lists and buy what's on sale so I'm not buying random crap I don't need.

5. It is absolutely crazy to me that I can order groceries at 11 p.m. and have them delivered to my doorstep before 7 a.m. No, I did not order just one item. But I forgot something so I added it to my order immediately. The rest of the order was placed at 10:56 p.m.

6. I can't be on all the time. You can't be on all the time. We'll still be okay.

7. The news outlets are reporting that the SEPTA regional rail situation is improved this week. I have seen no change, in fact, it's more crowded. The mornings still continue to be a total clusterfuck (pic below from Tuesday morning) and the evenings continue to be fairly fine on my line. My stepmom's line is the reverse. I also think it's bullshit that I can only get a fare credit towards additional purchases. My train allowance is set by the quarter and I can't change it in between.

8. As of yesterday afternoon, all hotels/vrbos/whathaveyou have been booked for our Ireland/Paris trip this fall. This is another bouncing around trip hotel-wise.

9.  I just blocked out my calendar to spend every September weekend at the shore. I love it down there always, I just love it more in the off-season. 

10. E-card of the week. This made me LOL as I used the facebook unfollow button a lot this week:

For the second week in a row, today is my Friday. 

Dog Stew - AKA Poop Soup

Is it wrong to use the word poop in the title of a pseudo recipe post? Asking for a friend.

Gus has been going to acupuncture to address the major sway in his hindquarters. Whatever has caused this (we think a disk problem that is not unusual in pugs) has made him favor his front legs and lose a lot of muscle tone in his back legs. Acupuncture has helped him a lot, but it is fucking expensive. Acupuncture is not just the little needles in you - there's a food therapy component. We operate under the premise that food has energy. Depending on what's going on with your dog, certain foods may benefit them. You can read more here or consult an actual pet acupuncturist. I only play one on this blog and am not an expert by any stretch of the imagination. There are other facets to acupuncture and chi that I'm not covering here, but it's quite interesting and I urge you to look into it if you have an aging pet or one that seems to have issues that are not being solved in a traditional vet's office.

Anyway, in order to maximize the in office treatments, I've switched the dogs' diet, taking them off dry food entirely. The acupuncturist suggested Fresh Pet Vital Select grain free for food, to be served with dog stew. They also take a multi-vitamin supplement and get scrambled eggs - the protein is great for them. So they basically eat better than we do.

The burning question on your mind (if one can have burning questions about dog recipes) - why is it also called poop soup? A component of the stew is you - your love and good energy that you're cooking into it. And when I'm cooking it, surrounded by three small eager pugs, I sing to them about poop soup. It rhymes and it makes me laugh and they prance around while I'm singing it and it is a big love fest in the kitchen.

Before you think this is all hocus pocus, this acupuncturist is a certified vet. I sought her out after traditional meds from my vet didn't work. Acupuncture has helped my Gussie tremendously. We were at the vet last night and she couldn't get over the improvement. I love our current vet and I think she's tremendously smart and insightful. I also think there are limits to typical western medicine treatments for animals just like I think there are limits to western medicine treatments for humans. My regular vet agrees - she happens to be calling on my acupuncture vet because she's studying it and will be offering it as a service.

Ingredients would vary if you were using this for medicinal purposes. For straight up good for your dog purposes, this will do fine. You're looking for a 1:1 ratio of meat to veggies/fruit. There is no grain in here because my dogs don't need it, but if you are more comfortable with one you could add some oats. I vary the ingredients, but my basic recipe is...

Ingredients
1-2 pounds organic chicken or beef - cut very small
1/2 sweet potato, peeled and diced very fine
1/2 cup green beans, cut small
1/2 cup shiitake mushrooms, cut very small
1/2 cup organic blueberries (frozen2 okay)
1/4 cup spinach, cut small
1/4 cup parsley, cut very small
1.5 tbs coconut oil
Water to cover

Directions
Cook small pieces of meat in a pan or brown and drain if ground. Add veggies/fruit and coconut oil, then water to cover about half. Cook down until liquid reduces and veggies are cooked - about 20 minutes to a half hour.

I give 2-3 tablespoons of this to the dogs per day.

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Haikuesday

Poop Soup is catchy...

but not really edible. 

Okay, not at all. 

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Did I just post a recipe for dog stew? I did. Indeed. I did.