I picked up my phone in a meeting to see something a coworker sent, the banner told me ICE murdered an American woman in her car. I looked back at the screen and affirmed the mailer is in design
No phone this morning, so much shit is flying around that I clenched my jaw so hard in sleep my teeth are going to crack if I keep doing that and this little computer will show me things I cannot see right now, I have to go to my office and act normal
But I need to pick up my phone to
check the train schedule
sign in to my computer for two factor identification
respond to a notification on a work social account
text my sister in law happy birthday
answer my intern
No phone this morning, my neck is so tight it feels like it might snap I don't think ibuprofen can help this and this little computer will show me things I cannot look away from right now
Can’t pretend it’s not happening
Can’t excuse what’s happening
Can’t ignore what’s happening
Can't operate through the day without the knowledge of this sitting behind my eyes, in my body and we all know the body keeps the score
Take me back to
paper everything
analog everything
news that airs three times a day in half hour segments
news that does not disrupt my central nervous system
precedented times
Although in the history of the world and of the United States, these actually are quite precedented times
when we don't look at the whole picture of history
when we whitewash history
when we intentionally silence certain voices in history
when we learn to memorize for a test and not to understand history
when we don't think critically and connect the dots throughout history
We're doomed to repeat it, in the most embarrassingly precedented manner.
The unprecedented part is
access to first hand accounts 24/7 on this little computer
access to unreletenting breaking news on this little computer
access to so many books and studies on this happening throughout history that we can learn from
access to how this ends, how it has always ended
Yet despite the unprecedented access to historical information and real time real life no AI bullshit video, people are still
downplaying
ignoring their gut telling them this is wrong, on every level
explaining away
avoiding the topic
being willfully ignorant of Constitution of the United States
acting like everything is normal
thinking this is just politics in America
siloing individual existence when all of our existence is tied together
Take a break, we tell ourselves and each other
Take a break and nevermind the people who
are watching this in front of their faces and not on a screen
having their faces ground into pavements across the streets of this country under the boots of masked men with permission no encouragement from the administration, violence coursing through their blood
have their doors kicked in for looking a certain way despite being born here, as American as white lady me
can't look away because their continued existence depends on them having their head on a swivel every minute of every day
can't take a break
The continuation of this system relies on those of us who are privileged enough comfortable and still relatively safe enough to be intimidated, made afraid, shamed into silence, ridiculed like we're overreacting when we are in fact underreacting as individuals and a collective, get quiet, turn it off, zone out, take breaks
We’ll come to a point where there’s no break for anyone
Then what?
Then what
