Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Confessions: On Being Alone

via
I avoid people who aren't comfortable being alone because I'm afraid if we hang out, they're going to look to me for constant entertainment and want to talk to me the whole entire time. I'm good with some comfortable silence. I need it.

Also, I think you have issues to sort out if you're not comfortable in your own company. Gotta keep it real.

The only person I like to shop with is Lori. We have a similar browsing style and speed.

Sometimes I specifically plan to have no plans. And I get annoyed when someone tries to bust in and fill that time like they feel sorry for me because I don't have plans. I do. I've planned to hang out alone. It's called me time. Get some.

When I'm in the car alone for a long period of time, I sing my heart out like you all do, and I imagine I'm being filmed by MTV singing covers because I'm a famous singer. People clearly have nothing better to do than to watch me drive while singing other people's songs.

I can't recharge if I don't have alone time. It's one of the ways I practice self-care.

Even though I'm very social and I put myself out there on the internet daily on a blog, I'm actually more of an introvert. I'm quite comfortable being alone and enjoy it a lot.

I love to go out to dinner alone armed only with whatever book I'm reading at the moment.

If I couldn't retain my independence in my marriage, I wouldn't be in it. It's odd that a shared value of independence is the thing that makes MFD and I work so well.

Part of what fuels my writing is observations on others and their behavior. Park me by myself on a bench or a beach and give me a pair of sunglasses and a notebook and I'm happy as a clam.

What about you? Do you value your alone time? 
Any confessions to make about your alone time activities? Don't be a perv. 

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 Linking up with Kathy for Humpday Confessions 

 Linking up with Shanna for Random Wednesday














Linking up with Liz for Fitness Blondie's Blog Hop:
The Hump Day Blog Hop

54 comments:

  1. Omg.. Me too!! I HAVE to have alone time. Time just for me. If for some reason that I don't get it, I get really bitchy and pissed off. When people ask what I'm doing and say nothing, I mean nothing as in nothing=great, which is my alone time. I'm thinking, please don't suggest we do something. I hate having plans sprung on me. I want to know about them like 2-5 days in advance. I'm not shy at all. I'm pretty outgoing when I want to be. I just don't know have to be constantly surrounded by people. I'm a combination of introvert and extrovert. People have thought I was shy because sometimes I am quiet. I'm like a) I have nothing to say, b) I'm listening, or c) I don't like you lol.

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  2. This is why we are spirit animals! I totally pencil in me time. I get punchy if my weekends are full and don't allow for time to just veg and be alone. Whether it's reading or just sitting and enjoying a coffee.

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  3. I have a hard time with it if I don't get enough alone time. I love being social and I need that just as much also though. But I need that time alone to re-charge.

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  4. "Even though I'm very social and I put myself out there on the internet daily on a blog, I'm actually more of an introvert. I'm quite comfortable being alone and prefer it a lot of times." - Girl me too! People always think I'm an extrovert because of my blog or because of my personality but I'm totally okay being completely alone for long periods of time. I actually crave it.

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  5. i LOVE LOVE LOVE alone time. i don't even bat an eye when my husband wants to go out riding or with friends or whatever. GO! leave me alone so i can do what i do alone (which is nothing but laze around for dayssssss).

    there are people at work who can't stand silences....as in they feel they have to chatter non-stop just to fill those silences. i don't say a thing; silences are my jam. it gives me time not to think. my husband is the same way; we talk but then we also know when to STFU and enjoy the silence.

    thanks for linking up!

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  6. I don't understand the people that can't have alone time! That's a huge deal breaker for me because I can't imagine not having it more often than not.

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  7. People who can't be alone make me uncomfortable too. I mean, if you can't deal with yourself, how do you expect others to deal with you?
    I used to be bad at being alone…and then I moved to Alaska. It was do or die, so I learned to amuse myself. Everyone should learn that lesson before age 25.

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  8. I'm so happy football season is back because it means my husband refuses to leave the house ALL DAY every Sunday, which means I an do what I want without feeling like I'm ditching him. I like to roll things over in my own head and be alone, move at my own pace, and not take someone else's wants into account for a few hours. I don't do anything earth-shattering - usually just errands - but lingering in Target for a little too long feels like a necessity sometimes!

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  9. I need time alone. I start to get tense if I haven't had some solo time in a while and there is nothing better than coming home and knowing I have at least 2 hours before my boyfriend or our roommate return. Although for me alone time is better at home. It's kind of thrilling to wander around an airport alone, but being alone in public isn't the same kind of comfort/total relaxation that I enjoy so much when everyone's out of the house.

    It's interesting - most of the bloggers I read would probably call themselves introverted, but maybe that's the appeal of blogging. Being social while still maintaining a distance, plus comments/responding to comments are a pretty low pressure form of communication.

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  10. I definitely practice for the day when Legally Blonde the musical or Wicked comes to recruit me to be on Broadway... because it's totally going to happen during my alone time. ;)

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  11. While I definitely loving being around people, there are times when I just want some “me” time. I actually prefer shopping by myself since I can move at my own pace.

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  12. I love being alone and living alone and planning things alone. It recharges me. I don't want to constantly be around people. This past weekend I was around people a lot and I loved it, but I'm ready for this Saturday when I can hide in my apartment.

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  13. Yes yes yes. I usually prefer to be alone--the only thing is there is a fine line between alone time and too much alone time. With the husband working so much--sometimes I get lonely. The thing is, when he's home, I can also get "me" time. We'll sit on the couch, I'll read a book or do blog work and he'll watch a show--we're not interacting at all, but I like having him there--you know?

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  14. Seriously the time that I get alone is my most looked forward to time. Last night Mark stayed at his place and I was straight up like "Yahtzee!!!!" I tried to be cool and pretend like I missed him but really I was in stretch pants and a face mask blogging with no one asking me how to turn on the laundry machine it was Heaven.....

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  15. If I don't get enough alone time I go crazy! I couldn't be in a relationship where we had to do everything together. Ugghh. I also love shopping alone and eat out with my book all the time. Silences are comfortable for me, even if the other person is clearly uncomfortable. But I'm also a very social person and I think that finding a balance between the two can be tricky sometimes. Either I go completely into hermit-mode or I have a fully booked calendar for weeks. I need to get better at it :)

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  16. Taking time for myself is something I am learning to love, and accept as I get older. A few years ago I would have died at any free time to spend with myself. But it's come with age, and I like it.

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  17. Agree 150%! I have worked from home and been home with Rich who has a home office and we are great with it.
    However, nice when he goes out for the day, or is away. My pups are always with me as are my loved ones in spirit
    that I believe in, but sitting with a book or a Merle Reagle crossword, or watching Long Island Medium on demand is
    heaven!! Singing loudly in the car with my favorite songs soothes and feeds my soul.
    I really do love myself, too! Love your don't be a perv comment #EW
    Love your MOMMA carpe diem always

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  18. I 100% value my alone time. I even made sure to have a couple solo days during my Cape vacation so I could go to a nice dinner alone and be on my own non-schedule. I definitely NEED my space.

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  19. I CRAVE alone time these days, it's much harder to find when you work from home with a 4 year old all day. Which explains why I get out of bed at 6:30 AM and walk the dogs every damn morning when I could be sleeping until 7:55, I NEED the 30 minutes of me time.

    My favorite way to spend alone time is to turn off the TV and sit in my big chair and either read or just do nothing!

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  20. Yes, I crave alone time and really enjoy it... quite a change from 10 years ago but now I can't imagine it any other way.

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  21. I agree with all those points. I'm very used to doing things alone since I've been living by myself for a few years now. Besides work and some commitments on the weekends, I'm often alone and I don't hate it. I go to the movies alone now too because honestly, you're just going there to watch the movie and leave. It's not social hour.

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  22. Lol that's no fun if no one is a perv. I'm an introvert as well and as social as I am and enjoy being, I enjoy running errands and completing tasks alone. I know lots of folks that if there's any moments of silence they want to fill it with chatter - it's good to be quiet and it's good to be by yourself. I love alone time at home on my sofa, it's my favorite place - I can relax and read or watch tv, blog - or have the greatest nap. It's just quiet and just peaceful. Happy Hump Day Stephanie! -Iva

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  23. One of the best things about getting divorced is that I finally have regularly scheduled alone time. And I LOVE it. It makes some of my friends very uncomfortable that I spend a lot of my weekends alone and I don't get why. I have a full time job and 3 kids, I am surrounded by people all the damn time. If I choose not to see anyone every other weekend don't knock it, it is heaven on Earth!!!!

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  24. I really love my alone time whether is doing nothing at home or going out shopping/browsing or for a mani/pedi etc. I don't really like eating out at restaurants alone though. Prefer to have someone to chat with ;-)

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  25. I am the SAME exact way. I love my fam, girl time and being social, but Dear God, it's so nice to have some "me" time...and that's just what I did last Friday night! I swear it was one of the best dates I have had in a long time...just, me, myself and I. It's good for the soul!

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  26. I NEED alone time. Reading this I was pretty much sitting here going "yep, yep" I love to go out & do things with people but I also like to be alone. There are also things I definitely prefer to do alone than with others...like shopping. When people ask me to go I usually cringe. I don't love shopping to begin with & going with someone else appeals even less.

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  27. alone time is probably my all time favorite thing. i crave it. in fact, I think we all need it to be healthy.

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  28. I have yet to find a shopping buddy that I like ;) I need the similar browsing/speed/interaction as me and no one seems to have it. I honestly am a happier person when I get my alone time. Too often I go wayyy too long without some me-time and it shows! In my personality, my marriage, my work... I'm just more stressed! Alone time is good for my soul and I get SO excited when I have it planned and penciled into my calendar (bc yes, I'm a nerd and I write it in!)

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  29. I don't get it very often - but when I do - I CHERISH MY ALONE TIME.

    I like being alone more than being with groups of people - I try very hard to put myself in social situations.

    OH - and I read "GET SOME" and giggled. Just saying.

    I have gone out to dinner by myself with a book. - People look at you weird.. RIGHT?

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  30. I'm completely with you. I love alone time! I think it is something that everyone needs.

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  31. I like to have my alone time too! Sometimes I read, or watch what I want to on TV, or just sit in silence. Or you know, sing and dance around the house...whatever!

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  32. I love alone time. I am partly ashamed to admit the following. my husband had 3 months off, and I didnt, obviously, so he got plenty of alone time. when i would come home in the summer he was like yay lets hang out and do stuff which is great because he's normally tired during the school year. his first week back at work he had an all day golf scramble and he was supposed to be gone from 8am-9pm but he came home early and I had been busy with errands I normally do on my own so I got zero alone time and I was so mad! haha. I need to recharge, to do things he hates, to eat bad food without judgement.. is that too much to ask?

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  33. I love being alone! Maybe it's the only child in me, I don't know. But I think it's fantastic. When Tom deploys, I miss him, but I think, "Yes, I get the bed to myself. The remote! I get to be alone when the kids are in school ALL THE TIME!" This excites me.

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  34. Yes to all of this! I always feel so awkward when someone tries to make plans and I say I'm busy...but by "busy" I really mean "spending time by myself doing nothing/whatever I want." At least Ben gets it, he's the exact same way.

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  35. I can so relate to this! Especially the part about shopping ... the only people I like shopping with is my sister or my fiance!
    www.amemoryofus.com

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  36. I cherish my alone time, away from family, friends, Steve. I need time alone whether its in the shower, perusing target, or just sitting on the couch alone with my thoughts. I won't say I "can't stand" the couples who work together, live together, do everything together… if it works for them, bully for them. But I just know I would lose my flipping mind.

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  37. I legit would NOT survive w/o my alone time. I need it to re-charge. When I don't have enough, it wears me down both mentally and physically. I've always been like that. Even as a kid, I could sit and play Barbies by myself for hours (I made them have sex sometimes with GI Joe...)

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  38. I need my alone time, I love spending time with just myself. Sometime, okay I take that back a lot of the time people don't really understand that I like to be alone. They think I'm sad or lonely, no. The fact is that I just love spending time with myself.
    What I will usually do is go to Barnes and Nobles and snatch a book get a latte and read for hours. If I have a book in front of me i will read it all day long.
    I loved this post btw!

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  39. OMG!! I totally need alone time! My bf is starting to understand it. But he used to take it personally and think I was mad at him for something. The reality is that I need to have me time.

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  40. I used to not love alone time... but as I get older, I crave it more and more. I love a little quiet time to recharge. I love being in loved ones company without constantly being engaged with them.

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  41. Oh how I love alone time. That has been one of the hardest transitions in having a baby--alone time is hard to come by, especially since I am still technically on maternity leave and John is working. Last week, I think I went 7 days without leaving the house by myself. I don't even need some spectacular activity either. Just going to Target alone or grocery shopping alone is fantastic. Hell, driving in my car alone, where I can have the music up as loud as I want to without hurting baby ears is great.

    I love Jack but I am definitely not one of those moms who needs/can be with her child 24/7 and getting out makes me a better mother. We have a babysitter coming for a few hours every Friday which I am super excited for (this is my life now, lol) just so I can get out of the house and do whatever.

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  42. I love alone time. I thrive when I have it because I am so introverted.

    I could not be with Scott or Erica or anyone all the time. I have a friend who just cannot be alone and it drives me crazy. I can't be her constant source of entertainment. It's too much pressure and emotionally exhausting.

    My favorite alone activities are singing loudly and planning my cross country book tour.

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  43. I'm very comfortable being alone, though it's not something I necessarily seek out on purpose, it just seems to happen enough for me. And I'm very comfortable with silence even when I'm around people. Most of my classmates in beauty school couldn't stand silence and always had to be talking or having the radio on, sometimes that bugged me.

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  44. I truly value alone time and sometimes I crave it. Even during the day at work. Sometimes you just need "me time". Fully agree!

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  45. I agree with all of this except going to dinner alone. I also do not like going to movies alone- I've tried both, because I think I read somewhere that you should at least try, but I was HIGHLY uncomfortable. I also haven't found someone I really like to go shopping with. I'll go to social things alone though- I want to Paint Nite last night by myself, and was perfectly happy. I need alone time and plan in it as well.

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  46. I absolutely agree. Alone time is the best and it freaks me out how some people don't know how to be alone, it's sad really...

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  47. I need my alone time! I actually feel way more stressed if I have too many plans or people are constantly talking to me it kind of freaks me out to have a semi-panic attack! I am definitely an introvert.

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  48. I love this! I need my quiet time to recharge. Many people think it's bring anti-social; on the contrary, it allows me to be more social. Great post!

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  49. I need lots of alone time. Life is overwhelming, usually in a good way, but if I don't have downtime where I don't have to talk or listen to anyone, I go crazy. Jacob and I love independence too. I can hang out with my friends, he can hang out with his. There is no jealousy and we don't have to be around each other all the time. We have different interests and don't have to merge them. Since one of us has to be home with the kids when the other is out, we get a nice dose of me time. I think I'm becoming more of an introvert as I get older too. I value my time and just don't want to go do something that I'm not interested in for the sake of hanging out with other people. It's probably part of just being at peace with your life and not having that stupid fear of missing out. Yay age. Kinda... ;)

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  50. I need alone time, but in the same way, I also need social time. Me having too much alone time can be the absolute worst thing because I tend to be a worryier and/or over-analyzer.

    And long car rides are TOTALLY karoke time. Even if there are other people in the car. #sorrynotsorry.

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  51. I couldn't agree more on the value of alone time. I've fiercely protective of mine. I often go to the movies alone simply for the fun of it, not because no one would go with me, but because I wanted to go with ME. (If this comes up no-reply, I'm sorry :( Blogger is blocked at work and I have to comment through AIM... ugh. www.crazytragicalmostmagic.com

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  52. I'm definitely into alone time, especially in the car. I hate riding with people and having them judge my music tastes (or lack thereof...)

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  53. I love alone time - especially if it means that I can go out and get pampered or can read a book without interruptions. Which, unfortunately, both of those things do not happen often enough. I love to be able to relax and recharge.

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