Friday Friday Friday

Suicide is front and center this week and it's a little raw out there. I'm not going to ask you to check on your friends or any iteration of that because most of us do not have the skills or personal capacity to support someone who is anywhere near the brink of suicide. It also implies that we can have some sort of influence, power, or implied responsibility to keep people alive that much of the time we simply do not have no matter how much we want to think we have it. It also says we should see signs that people who struggle are so adept at hiding because they don't want us to see them or because they know we can't handle them and friends, we are mostly just not going to see signs as life goes on around us. It leaves us with pain and guilt that are hard to move on from. What I am going to ask you to consider doing:

- Approach the world with understanding

- Be continually conscious that we do not know what is going on inside anyone's head, heart, or spirit, no matter how close we are to them

- Have grace and allow space for people and for yourself

- Drop the illusion of perfection from your life: from the background of your photos, from your presence on the Internet, from your performance at your job, from your abilities as parent, from your roles as spouse/friend/daughter/son/etc. This helps signal to other people that you are okay with them dropping the illusion of perfection/all good nothing to see here from their lives

- Inwardly and outwardly value redemption and recovery from mistakes, addictions, errors, accidents, etc. We are imperfect people living in an imperfect world. People are going to fuck up. We cannot live in a world that tells them they can't come back from that. The pressure of that is too great a burden for anyone to bear. This does not mean drop your boundaries, but you see what I'm saying I hope. Are we all alive? Good. We'll figure the rest out later

- Stop calling for punishments that do not fit the crime both systemically and interpersonally

- Free yourself and other people from unrealistic expectations. Life is not always happy. We cannot always be positive. Things aren't always going to go according to plan or be as fun as we think. We can try our best and not succeed. We do stupid shit on purpose and inadvertently. We don't always win. We can't fix things all the time. Etc etc

- Learn to sit beside each other in pain, trauma, grief, rage, healing, ugliness, whatever. It is not comfortable and happy but sometimes we just need to be there for each other like that. Just present, not fixing.

- Know people are more than their struggles and weaknesses just as you know they are more than their achievements or successes 

- Recognize and press for systemic change to the affordability and accessibility of healthcare on the whole and mental health in particular. Affordability and accessibility for ALL people no matter where they live in this country. 

- Talk about suicide without shame or stigma. It has touched so many families, mine included.

- Talk about mental health without shame or stigma for the same reasons

- Don't be an asshole who makes fun of people needing safe spaces and instead be a fucking safe space

- Do not make it harder for people to live in this world. The world is hard enough

- Know what resources DO exist for people and help them access them when you can

Also.

Beach scenes this week.

Dogs and coats and dogs in coats rage. Coworker dogs. I have been at the shore since Monday and MFD was supposed to arrive with Mae and Billy today and we were going to Congress Hall tonight for festive fun but a series of unfortunate events prevented that from happening.

Fellow Tuesday haters, does this opener to a short story by Alice Hoffman ring your bell or what? I laughed out loud.

The fusion breakthrough this week. What a time to be alive, said in a good way for once. You never know over the past few years.

Nails! A muted holiday version? Two of my favorites: China Glaze Planted & Enchanted and OPI This Shade is Ornamental

There is nothing to even say. I howled with laughter.

This has been...not the best week. Lots of balls in the air personally and professionally and lots of shit to deal with. I'm happy it's Friday. My weekend does not look like it did when I started the week, but it will be a welcome respite just the same. I hope yours is too!

snippets of the weekend 12.12.2022

This weekend was errands and reading and cooking and organizing and lounging.

I went to HomeGoods twice - different stores - and Nordstrom Rack twice - different stores due to snafus from the first transactions. Drove to pick up a gift card in the rain Sunday as I was directed to when I ordered online to arrive and be told they do not have physical gift cards. Multiple grocery trips because I forgot things. Long lines. I was in a mall! People use the Willow Grove mall like it is 1989 and that is strangely comforting.

I finished a book, read another, started a third. Caught up on White Lotus Saturday night and Sunday morning so we could watch the finale Sunday night. 

I made tacos Friday night, the best part of which is taco salad, obviously. Sunday I made breakfast burritos to freeze and veggie beef barley soup for the week. 

weekending reels on Instagram 

Happy happy birthday to Meem yesterday! 

Remembering Gamma today on her birthday. I shared this on our shore house Instagram last year and wanted to share it here along with her library card that I have on my desk. She was the first person to take me to the library, and we went all the time, sometimes multiple times in a week. 

Happy Monday folks! We're in that holiday slide now.

Saying hello on Saturday

The draft of this post was set up last Friday, and that was a carryover from the week before. Too far gone so starting fresh with a 20 timer on Saturday morning and what we do we do. Let us begin.

We’re all spending $61 or more every time we open our mouths, right? Jesus take the wheel. For those who think Joe Biden is responsible for global inflation…bless your heart, to borrow a phrase from my southern brethren 

Thrifted wall decor:

My resin replacement for a fist full of keys from South Street Art Mart - support your local creators! 

We tried Liquid Death Mango Chainsaw. LOL at the name, like the flavor.

I had to buy the stupid Christmas brownie cakes. I will make a foray into the Christmas Tree cakes then I will turn my back on both for this season.

Have you all heard of the retired spy with the daughter who does the reels? Agent Buttercup? The hold these people have on me. I can never find them when I go to look for them but I know I follow on Insta so they pop up for me. Here's an article. 

The amount of Foreign Policy Experts With Experience Negotiating Political Prisoners With Psychos With Nukes who have shown their face over the last week, mylanta. Welcome home Brittney Griner, even if a bunch of people have made sure to get on the Internet and say your freedom is worthless

The office in the PNC Building in the Market West neighborhood a block from City Hall where I have worked since August 2008 has officially moved to Old City. I'm pumped to explore down there and might actually try to make it into the office twice a month! I was going to come out of the gate with three times and I don't want to overshoot my shot. Cheers to new beginnings and good change.

Nails. The blue is OPI LED Marquee and the pink is OPI Pixel Dust

Wednesday night MFD and I went to the Turn PA Blue celebration in Conshohocken to congratulate the folks who worked so hard to secure and flip seats in our area. It was nice to see people but for me even nicer to be out of any active work in political races and just writing checks in support of candidates or writing postcards to voters. It is dirty AF, damaging to your spirit, and at times dangerous. I was reminded how you truly don't know until you've run or a candidate lives in your house. I'm  happy that's in the rearview and all the support to people out there deciding to do it anyway and applause for people who work hard to get them into office.

We walked to Pepperoncini where I haven't been for YEARS to have a fat ass Italian meal after that, then walked back. Those Conshohocken hills, man. The meal was good and we stood outside in no coats on an evening in December talking to people leaving the Turn PA Blue party for a bit longer. Out past 10:30 on a schoolnight!

This is what we were doing at 6 pm that night...the event started at 6 a half hour away LOL

Reminder.

Agree.

Painting happened at the shore this week. The interior and exterior of the new porch door (SW 6766 Mariner, same as exterior of main house porch door), two tiny walls that are accent walls near the bathroom (SW 6716 Dancing Green), and the inside of the main apartment door (SW 6564 Red Clover, same as its exterior that was painted in May 2021).

A few books from last week - not a romance reader but I flew through Lily B. The Stacy W book comes out in January and if you like that sort of thing, you should look into it.

The bowl I painted over Thanksgiving weekend when Carol, Aubrey, Lola and I did the Glazed Over Pottery outing

It is hard to beat the solitude and beauty of the beach in the late fall into winter season when you can be out for well over an hour and not worry about shivery dogs or fingers that feel like they may fall off. My plan is the entirety of January there, with a pop up to Philly to see Jagged Little Pill and do my monthly hair appt and massage. December I am up not there a lot so I'm glad the temps have not dipped too much into a freeze. 

End on pets, yes? 

What should you plan your first vacation around? Reduced stress.

Pexels - CC0 License

Taking your first vacation, perhaps as someone who has moved away from home and is funding the entire trip yourself, is exciting. But this isn’t the only way travel could feel new again - perhaps you’re taking their first travel experience after a major life event, such as having a child, recovering from a medical concern, or being newly single after a long-term relationship, 

When this happens, we can feel a little daunted as where to begin. Should we head to this location over that one? What should we do when we’re there? Now, you can travel however you like of course, and for whatever purpose you’re happy with. 

Yet we would recommend that for your first time out, or your first time out in some while, you consider planning as stress-free an event as you can. In this post, we hope to discuss what that may look like, what plans may help you, and what errors to avoid ahead of time:

Plan Your Transport

Make sure to plan your flights ahead of time, make sure your luggage is the right weight, and that you arrive at the terminal at least an hour before, ideally even 2-3 hours for international flights. This will give you the time to get there in traffic and make your way to the right gate, check in, and then spend some time in the departures lounge before you take off. There might be delays, you may have to wait further, but at least you’ll know it will never be your fault.

Head To A Calm, Relaxing Location

Choose accommodation that you can unwind in, peacefully. A stunning location, such as when finding hotels in Destin Florida, can offer the height of comfort while also being close to the conveniences you need. Take it slow, and make sure public transport and other convenient provisions are available. This will help you experience the vacation at your own pace, an also take stress-releiving days like soaking in the resort area of the hotel, or spending some time in the spa. Remember that when on your first vacation, you have nothing to prove to anyone.

Opt For Simple Tours & Fun Activities

You don’t have to overdo it. Just take some time with some activities that might be planned in advance. Heading to a sports game can be fun, and you know what the format will be there. For instance if you’re in Japan, heading to a baseball game can see one of the biggest national pastimes enjoyed by all. Perhaps you’ll head to a museum tour and be happily chaperoned around, learning more and more about the pieces. You might decide to take some surfing lessons for beginners, giving you the chance to stretch your legs and enjoy trainee instruction. In the long run, measures like this help you become familiar, without any of the overbearing stress that comes with doing everything all at once as you may feel obligated to on other vacations.

With this advice, you’re sure to plan for the best renewed vacation around.

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This post was written with the Life According to Steph audience in mind

Snippets of the weekend 12.5.2022

Friday I took the train in and walked from Market East to 1st & Chestnut to do a quick set up of the stuff MFD and I dropped off on Thursday for my company holiday party. It was a nice night! I recommend Glory Beer Bar & Kitchen for folks looking to host events in Philly. Food, service, and pricing were all good! We got home around 1 and I was straight to bed.

And up by 7 on Saturday thanks to Bruce. Animals DGAF if you are old and have been out late. My original plan was to head to the shore to clean up construction work but it was raining pretty solidly and I really needed the option to bring some stuff outside so I ended up staying home. My car was also full of stuff from my office and the party and had to be emptied before I reloaded it and all of that in the rain was a no. We watched the World Cup, I read a book, we cleaned up/purged/organized the living area basement room and then hung out down there which I never do, MFD made dinner, and we watched all of White Lotus season 1. I fell asleep on the couch around 11 and never moved to bed.

Sunday up at the asscrack again. I showered, emptied my car of the shit in there, refilled it with stuff to go back to the shore, and was at the shore by 9:30. I am absolutely thrilled with the work done in our apartment - the top is before and the bottom after  - not a great after but we're still in progress. We're going to paint down here and the trim and door need to be painted but seriously thrilled for the added airflow and light.

I did a first round construction dust vacuum/cleanup/change bedding, put shit back etc. Then I went and picked up pottery we painted on Black Friday, stopped in at the Thrift Store just to browse, picked up lunch and dinner at ACME and exchanged my five gallon water bottles, and popped in to Sherwin Williams then painted paint swatches all over the apartment. We're going with the lighter and brighter (SW 6736 Jocular Green) but I did paint the small coffee wall in the bolder color (SW 6716 Dancing Green)

We had a nice long walk on the beach to close out the weekend.

weekending reels on Instagram 

Happy birthday to my uncle Billy yesterday! Which I thought was today, but today is not the fourth, it's the fifth LOL. I cannot keep up on so much right now, so I'm just putting it down and doing what I can.