Wherever you go, go with all your heart - Confucious

Tonight my youngest brother graduates from high school. When he was born, I was suffering through senior year calculus in that same high school and daydreaming about being free from whatever it is you learn in calculus. My uncle, a teacher at the school, called me out into the hall to tell me Sean was born. I was 17. Now he is 17, and leaving high school. Excuse me while I have a where did the time go moment.

Congrats to my cousin Courtney, who is also graduating from Neshaminy tonight

In hindsight, high school graduation is like standing at the precipice of the Grand Canyon and peering down into the abyss, thinking, "How do I navigate down there without killing myself? Am I strong enough to make it back up?" Of course I wasn't thinking this the night I graduated  in June 1995. I was thinking about what color comforter I wanted for my dorm room at the University of Delaware, if my precisely curled under bangs would hold up under the rain that was supposed to arrive later in the evening, and going to get something to eat at Houlihan's with my friends when graduation was over. I thought of anything besides leaving the familiar in August.

It is clear the future holds great opportunities.  It also holds pitfalls.  The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o'clock.  

~Woody Allen, "My Speech to the Graduates," Side Effects, 1980

High school graduation brings enormous change - every day for 13 years you got up and you went to school, and you had a lot of safety nets. College is an abrupt on your own experience - the courses are harder, the professors don't give a crap about your excuses, everyone has a hangover and yours is not the worst, and you must sail your own ship.

Excellence is not a skill.  It is an attitude.  

~Ralph Marston

Sean is heading to Villanova in the fall to study business and play soccer on a scholarship. He's smart and has taken honors and AP classes throughout high school. He's committed: four to five times a week he heads to North Jersey after a full day of school to practice and travels around the country throughout the year to play soccer with the Red Bull Academy.  He was kicking a soccer ball around as soon as he could walk, and it shows on the field. I was away at college during most of his baby years, but I  never remember him playing with anything besides a soccer ball.

He has many hidden talents, like imitating accents and killing it on stage in the drama club, which I saw him do twice this year. Once in a play, which is hard enough, then once at Improv night, which I can't even imagine thinking quickly enough or being brave enough to do.

As you can see, Sean with all of his talents and accolades is a source of much pride for me and  my family.

But the thing I am most proud of is not an award he's received or the induction into the National Honor Society or the scholarship he's worked hard to get. The thing about my brother that I admire most is that he is kind. He thinks of others and their needs and feelings; and that's not very common in a 17 year old male. It's one of the most selfish times in our lives as humans. He is a good person with a good heart and that is what I'm most proud of today, the day of his high school graduation.

From a little boy with blond curls and tiny sambas to a grown up with adult aspirations and a great sense of humor and self...congratulations, Sean. I love you.

As  Neshaminy recedes in your rearview, I know you will continue to learn and grow and kick ass on the field at Villanova. And I know you will continue to be kind and humble and excellent in whatever you decide to do, in this new chapter of your life and beyond.

There is a good reason they call these ceremonies "commencement exercises."  

Graduation is not the end; it's the beginning.

  ~ Orrin Hatch

Congratulations class of 2012 - be a positive force in the world, in whatever way you can. 

He ain't heavy, he's my brother

My brother was born when I was 6. I was totally fine as an only child, but there was no sending him back.

My brother comes home June 4, 1983

To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. 

We live outside the touch of time.

~Clara Ortega

My brother used to wear superman and batman capes pinned to his clothes. He watched the Batman with Adam West over and over on VCR tapes. He also watched Police "Macademy," Moving Violations, and Revenge of the Nerds, on a loop. I wonder if my parents knew it said HAIR PIE.

1984

My brother used to say "funda funda funda TATS" for Thundercats and "oh FANKS" for thank you. He used to say "You know better - n- dat" when you did something he thought you shouldn't do. He used to subsist on poptarts and peanut butter and cheese sandwiches. He could sleep anywhere, anytime - he used to lay down on the ground at the Ground Round restaurant and fall asleep while everyone ate dinner.

Stephen's first day of kindergarten - 1988

My brother was big for his age. He was a gentle giant who was always nice to everyone. He had a good heart from the time he came into being. He always had friends over and collectively they made our house smell like outside and boy.

Being a savage with Patrick Dillon in 1992, and again in 2006 in college

My brother has helped me balance myself without knowing it. When our parents split up during my junior year in high school, we were plunged into a world where everything we knew was different overnight. Our relationship with each other was the only thing that remained the same. Being six years older than him, I looked out for him and in doing that, righted and steadied myself. As the Hindu proverb says, "Help your brother's boat across, and your own will reach the shore." My protective instinct for him is still fierce and probably always will be. At life's small and big moments, we will be there for each other, and that's a comfort not everyone has. At my college graduation, my stepmom snapped a photo of us walking around campus, and we've recreated the same walk at his high school and college graduation, and at my wedding. It's our thing that we do now in life's big moments.

My brother was only 12 when I went away to college. Every time I came home he was different and taller. He excelled in soccer, and received many accolades, including Gatorade Player of the Year,  NSCAA High School All-American, and Courier Times Player of the Year. He continued playing in college on a full scholarship, followed by a short stint playing for the Pittsburgh Riverhounds. He went on to coach men's soccer at UCF in Florida before moving back home and getting his masters from Holy Family. He's made us proud and still does today as a history teacher and soccer coach.

Weirdly blond at Duquesne, signing autographs at the Riverhounds,  NHS Alumni game w/Sean in 2008

My brother has a lovely long-time girlfriend that I love. He is a pincher. He sends funny text messages. He yells "Not today, Lance," at serious bikers on the roadways. He mumbles and then gets annoyed when you ask him to repeat himself. He knows the fat man walks below. He let me ply him with my music and my movies when he was growing up and still likes a lot of them today.

Stephen & Aub

 Happy birthday to my brother Stephen, one of my favorite people on earth.

Our brothers and sisters are there with us from the dawn

of our personal stories to the inevitable dusk. 

~Susan Scarf Merrell