Wednesday, November 18, 2015

I'm too old for this shit



Like most people, in some areas of life I act older than I am. When I do this, my coworkers call me a yoldie - a young old person - and I don't mind a bit. You are as young as you feel and all that, and my sense of humor is certainly age 10 and will still be age 10 when I'm 85. Will fart noises always be funny? Yes. Yes they will. But there are certain things I feel too old for and I'm fine with feeling too old for them. Thanks to Kristen at See You in a Porridge for the post idea.

I'm too old for...

Women who don't support other women. We have enough people trying to keep us down. We don't need to do it to each other. Few things piss me off more than women who don't support other women.

Arguing with people who are ignorant. They're miserable and there is no opportunity for spirited debate or discussion. I'm totally down with spirited debate or discussion. I believe you can disagree on things in a respectful matter, and go back and forth about an issue in the same way. But you can't do that with people who are ignorant or incendiary. It's like talking to a brick wall or a person who will set fire to a house just so you can't live there.

Staying out late. Honestly? I would like to be home by 10 no matter what night of the week it is - and more honestly, sometimes 10 is pushing it. Hanging out during the day is fun too.

Living in fear of bad things happening. Bad things *will* happen. And when they do I will deal with them. I'm not going to be afraid to walk out my front door every day because of something that could happen. It's okay to be afraid of things. It is not okay to let fear rule how I live my life.

Sleeping the day away. I don't want to waste my days off sleeping. I actually love the mornings now. Every once in a while, sure, it's nice to sleep in...but now my sleeping in is like 9 a.m., not 11 or noon.

Finishing a book I don't click with. Life is too short and my list of books to read is too long.

Spending time with draining motherfuckers. If someone is a drain on my energy, I push them to the outskirts of my life or off of the cliff of it entirely regardless of who they are in relation to me and make zero excuses or apologies for doing it. Undesirables include: lying liars who lie, shit stirrers, consistent whiners/negative nellies, Needy McNeedersons who require constant reassurance, passive aggressive people who post weird long facebook statuses about people instead of just confronting said people, petty grudge holders, adults who refuse to be responsible for their actions and words, blame shifters, manipulative bastards, people with more issues than Time Magazine, and people who can't grow the fuck up. None of you can sit with me.

Improving my application of eyeliner. I'm terrible at it and that's okay. I'm done trying all the eyeliners in the world. The problem lies with the applier, and that is me. If it's important, someone else can expertly apply it.

Heels. I don't care what the occasion is, where I am concerned it no longer calls for heels. I got rid of all the heels I own and I will be the one at the function in old lady shoes eating my passed hors d'oeuvres with nary a care in the world.

Pretending I might one day become a woman who crafts. I've never been and while you never say never, I am pretty sure I'm not going down the crafting lane. I'll gladly admire something you've crafted or purchase something you've crafted to my specifications, but I won't wish I could be crafty.

Guilty pleasures. If I like it, I don't feel guilty about it because why would I? If it's not illegal and it's not harming me or anyone else, there's nothing to feel guilty about because adults can do what they want to do.

Waiting to...do anything. If I can do it now, I'm doing it now. I don't really get the sense in waiting to enjoy life. Waiting for what? Life is about the daily living. Go for it.

Caring about what other people think of what I do or say. I have to be honest, I've never really cared what people think about me. I was blessed to largely skip that anxiety and fear while growing up. But the older I get, the less I care. I didn't think that was possible, but it is.

What are you too old for?

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42 comments:

  1. I hope when I grow up (because, no, I'm not grown up..) I'm just like you :) I admire your confidence and your ability to ignore the haters. xx

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  2. I love your list of draining motherfuckers. I want to make that into a t-shirt. I am also too old for heels, short skirts, and clothes that are too tight. Give me old lady fashion any day. I'm also too old for attending events because I feel I should, and I am too old to eat cheap chocolate. Give me the good stuff!

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  3. Oh the mean girls reference, so classic. I agree with a lot of these, especially draining and constant worrier people. I just can't and I don't have to anymore so peace. And no way can I say out late anymore, not worth it to me.

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  4. Oh YES to all of these especially to people who DRAIN you...or make you feel less than for just living your life. No. Thank. You. Buh-bye! And I'm with you on heels. I just can't. My feet won't allow it (not for long anyway) haha

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  5. Agree on all of this. I am comfortable aging! I want to be here as long as I am needed and as long as I need no help to get around. Off topic but I felt the need to type that!
    Amen on those who try and drain the life out
    of you. Be gone! Carpe Diem.
    Love. Your. Momma.

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  6. toxic bitches, those who tear others down, cocky mofos, staying out late, just hanging out at bars for no reason (you can do that at home with wine), late dinners (sorry, i eat at 530pm), going to bed late, dressing up for anything (unless absolutely necessary), heels, whiny bitches who complain but don't do anything to change their situation, drama bitches...the list goes on.

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  7. I'm with you on the heels.
    & the sleeping all day long. Too much to do in life - I want to keep doing & moving while I can.

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  8. HA! I'm with you on the fart noises...why is that still funny and I'm 30 years old?
    And yes! I cannot stay out late anymore and I need to be in bed at a decent time if anyone expects me to function properly the next day!
    I stopped trying with eyeliner. I don't even care anymore. I don't have time to fight with it.
    Yes, yes, yes no heels! I threw mine away when I fell down just standing still 2 times in a row. That was enough for me to decide I'd rather just stay flat on the ground!

    I have to agree with Rachael I really love your confidence and your ability to just let idiots be idiots without it affecting you. It's really admirable. I'm getting there but it's still something I have issues with from time to time.

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  9. So much yes to sleeping in meaning 9:00 and staying out late. I want to be home and in my comfy clothes by 10:00 p.m.!

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  10. YESSSS, especially to women not supporting women, and all those lunatic ignoramuses. I also think that in spite of what's going on in this crazy world right now, we CANNOT live in fear. We can't do anything different than we'd normally do and just have to go about our lives with some sense of normalcy. Not to be cliche, but terrorist groups like ISIS *want* us to live in fear, and we can't let them have that.

    I DO still wear heels, btw.

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  11. I am too old for worrying about what anyone else thinks about me.I am also too old to guess what it is that you need from me, speak!! Too old for adult cliques in my neighborhood. Too old to be intimidated by anyone at work... these are just a few that are annoying me right now lol.

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  12. haha i love this. so accurate. definitely not going to do it. NOPE.especially draining people, eyeliner, and living in fear.

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  13. Yes to all of these things! Especially arguing with ignorant people and staying out late. The sleeping the day away thing I'm still working on though. I want to be that productive person but I have a pretty serious relationship with my bed and have trouble parting with it when I don't have to.

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  14. I've recently felt so liberated by deciding that I don't HAVE to finish a book I don't like. This isn't school; there is no test on it. I've also decided during this wedding planning shit that I'm too old to continue to care about people who don't care/make our friendship a priority.

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  15. Yes to all of these things!!! I like to day drink and be home by 8pm. I have no time for people who bring others down and suck the life out of others around them. I like comfy shoes and I embrace all the "nerdy" things that I love.

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  16. #1 .... yes. Yes to that! Yes to you!

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  17. I hate wasting the day away sleeping but sometimes it is really nice catching up on missed sleep. I will never again force myself to read a book I just don't click with, too many other great books to read.

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  18. This post perfectly sums up why I actually look forward to reading your blog every day and why I'm so glad I found you. You're strong, opinionated and determined while you're simultaneously kind, open and understanding. Everything here is awesome and I'm not just saying that!

    I'm too old for stores with BLASTING music. NOOOOOOOOOOO.

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  19. i LOVE this, and honestly i agree with just about every one you listed. I'm 24 and i feel too old for so much shit already. i think i would add that i'm too old to not value my time and spend it with people who genuinely bring me joy.

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  20. Totally with ya on not caring what others think (as long as I'm being a good human being) and not spending time with people who drain your energy.

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  21. I agree with you on all of it...except the eyeliner. I definitely want to improve how I do my eyeliner. Mostly so I don't look like an outfielder on a sunny day.

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  22. I've been drifting closer to all of these tendencies the older I get. Heels...I should really just give up on completely. I keep buying them and then wear them once and never again because of the uncomfort and height/balancing act that comes along with it. Im too clumsy for heels.

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  23. YES to enjoying life now and not putting it off! And I'm beyond over women who are not supportive of one another and are always looking for ways to put others down. I don't need your unnecessary drama :-P

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  24. I'm so over drama with people and women who don't suppose each other. Over it! I got no time for that. I'm way too old for it. Also, I hate going out on school (work) nights, I need to be home and in bed by 9:30. hahaha.. I get way too tired.

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  25. I agree with so many of these. I cannot/do not sleep in anymore. I also hate wasting the day away. Having a productive day, or even just doing something fun/relaxing is a way better feeling at the end of the day.

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  26. I'm with you on pretty much all of these, though I am a night owl and I do enjoy wearing heels. In fact, most of these are pretty much included in my "rules to live by" list. Yoldies, unite.

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  27. I can't remember the last time I stayed out past midnight. I went to a bachelorette party last Saturday and was home by 11:30... and all I drank was a water and a Mountain Dew. Bad ass over here.
    Heels. I can't even tell you how many I have that I don't wear anymore. But they're so pretty I can't stand to get rid of them, lol I'm even wearing flats for the wedding, too!

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  28. I agree with you on almost all of these things! The heels though....they make me feel like a badass bitch when I wear them so I keep them for emergencies. Most of the time however it is all about the comfy shoes!

    I'm so over staying out late. Seriously home is so much more comfortable.

    I'm over women not supporting one another either. Seriously we have enough struggles in life without giving one another crap and being hateful!

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  29. Preach it, sista! I was at my friends house Friday night and we were talking about maybe going out Saturday night. I went over her house Saturday night with a bag with some "going out" clothes (and hopes we wouldn't go out). My friend looked at me and asked if I brought my heels. I quizzically asked "Heels? Of course not, I don't like wearing heels anymore" and she said "Yeah, you said if we were going out you were going to wear heels." Apparently drunk me hasn't gotten the memo we're too old for heels.

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  30. I would rather meet someone for breakfast than dinner because, as you say, hanging out during the day is fun too. I honestly like to be home before dark. I didn't used to be that way, but oh well.
    I rarely wear heels. The occasion doesn't often call for them.

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  31. I never heard the term "yoldie" before but nothing has ever felt so right. My family always jokes that I am 50 trapped in a 23 year old body. Thank you for introducing me to this new word, haha!

    www.candidlykelseyblog.com

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  32. Great list! Although, I still own heels and still attempt to break them out everyone now and then, I'm truly too old for it. I've got bunions now. Fuckin' bunions on my feet. If that ain't old, I don't know what is.

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  33. I'm adding on that I'm too old for places with really loud music. I seriously can't think or talk over it anymore! One night I went with my friends to a restaurant where there was a bar/lounge to wait for your table to be ready. I felt like I was in a club and I couldn't stand the obnoxious bass thumping. I used to love places like that when I was younger, I just can't anymore.

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  34. Living in fear of bad things happening is often a hallmark of Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Sometimes people can't help it.

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  35. SAME! I haven't worn heels since college, I'll never be crafty, so I pay people to do it for me if I want something homemade looking, I'd rather ignore ignorance than engage with it these days, and I won't hang out with people that make me complain about them when I get home. Also, in Vegas, we were coming into the hotel at midnight, complaining about sore feet and how tired we were just as two 20-somethings were dressed up and ready to call an Uber. I'm so old!

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  36. Early nights and early mornings - that's my jam. Also, I like what you said about guilty pleasures - I still call them that, but I really don't feel guilty.

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  37. Let me just start by saying that I love the picture you included with this post. You nailed the dreamy eyes!

    I agree with so much of your list, but I'll admit that I'm still a super late weekend sleeper (which is probably the reason I'm less productive than I'd like to be sometimes), I still stay up/out late sometimes (though not nearly as often as I used to), I still refer to certain things as "guilty pleasures" (mostly because I'm genuinely embarrassed that I like them), and I sometimes find myself saying things like, "Next week/month/year I'll do this ..." instead of just doing it. Obviously sometimes I can't do things right away (like take a bunch of 2 week long vacations in a row or make a major purchase), but some things I just push off because I can. It's stupid, but I do it anyway.

    I think one thing I feel too old for these days is going out to clubs. I never did this a lot anyway, but when I was younger, I really enjoyed going out once in a while for a few hours with my friends to drink and dance. I think the last time I went to a club was about 2 or 3 years ago, and I was exhausted after dancing for about 30 minutes. I assumed I was either really old or really out of shape (or a combination of the two).

    While I was writing that, I thought of something else: mosh pits. I used to love them when I was in high school and college, but I'm too fucking old for that shit now. I realized this back in 2010 as I was getting crushed by a bunch of teenagers at an Alexisonfire concert. I don't mind general admission/floor tickets to a show, but I now just try to move to the outskirts of any mosh pits that may form.

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  38. I'm too old for shit stirrers, lying liars who lie, and those who don't save the drama for their llama. I'm also too old for people who treat other people badly, who think it's cool to be ignorant, and people who are intolerant.

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  39. a yoldie! haha.
    yes to the women not supporting other women. i seriously don't understand why this is still a thing. what do you gain by putting another woman down, or worse, not helping her?
    i used to worry about bad things happening all the time, but i think as i've gotten a bit older, i've stopped. KC always worries, which is why he wants a lot of $$ in our emergency savings 'just in case' and i'm like psssh lets go travel with that money! hahaha so compromise.
    sometimes KC and I wake up at like 6am on a weekend and we get SO much done and it's like noon and we both look at each other excitedly like omg we have the rest of the day to do nothing this is amazing. meanwhile, my best friend texts me at 1pm like 'i just woke up' and i don't understand that. i rarely take naps anymore because i think of all the things i could be doing, even if it's just reading a book, it's better than wasting time sleeping.
    i am not a crafter. at all. google the simplest easiest even a 2 year old could do it crafts, and i still couldn't do it, nor do i want to.
    i do like heels though.. sometimes. i used to wear heels everyday, no matter how comfortable. screw that. if they aren't comfortable, its not happening.
    love this post! :)


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