Tuesday, December 11, 2012

We can't be good at everything


I am fierce with myself. Like everyone, I show my strengths more than my weaknesses, but that doesn't mean I'm unaware of the places where I fall short or the character flaws that I have.

This blog naturally gravitates to a lot of things that are my strengths: productivity, organization, cooking, saying no, dissing Justin Bieber. A lot of people have said to me,  "How do you do all the shit you do on a weekend?" To them I say, "How do you take a spin class at 5 am or run a 5k or divide a check by seven without using a calculator?"  Your triumphs could very well be one of my hot mess disasters. We can't all be good at everything, and if we were all good at the same things, that would suck. Because who would assemble furniture for me? I actually hate when people say, "Stop! You CAN do it!" One, let's be honest: I don't really want to. Two, no, I can't. Just like I can't hop on my purple Unicorn Wanda and take a quick ride to the moon.


If I try something a few times and don't get better at it, I say good day to it. Some things you just know in your gut you're not ever going to get the hang of, and when that happens to me, I'm okay with it. I don't beat my head against the wall or try it 59 more times. I'm not going to be good at everything I do. Part of life is playing to your strengths and knowing your weaknesses so you can avoid them. These are some of mine.

1. I am not arty or crafty. I am afraid of hot glue guns. I spaz when creation is in the air. I like to pin shit on pinterest and imagine myself standing calmly before my assembled materials, wearing crisp white pants and a slim finely striped button down accessorized by a complementary chunky necklace, with my hair in a topknot I effortlessly fashioned myself. I gaze around serenely and pick up a tool to begin. Then I wake the fuck up and go look at something someone else has made.  Because it isn't happening. And I'll never wear white pants.


2. Blow drying my hair. My arms get tired, I always have resulting Uncle Larrys, and I'd rather just skip it. So I skip it. Every day.

3. I am very very bad at dealing with weak people and attention whores. I feel like punching them in the face. Sweet Brown ain't got no time for that.


4. Getting up at the crack of dawn to exercise. I lack the willpower and desire, and I am not going to be acquiring either of them. I can't even walk a straight line that early. Once I busted out some Billy Blanks at 6 a.m. and nearly broke my face and some glassware in my living room. I'd rather stay in bed for my own safety and to preserve my belongings.

So would Geege. Obviously.
5. My self pedis leave a lot to be desired.

6. I am unable and unwilling to keep my dogs off of furniture and beds. I'll deal with the hair, and so will you if you come over.

7. I can't hang anything worth a damn. Michelle has hung pretty much every picture and curtain rod in my house. The ones that are crooked are my masterpieces.

8. Using power tools. I'm like a baby trying to pilot a rocket ship.


9. I know every word to a lot of songs, but you don't want to hear me sing them. It's not a pretty sound.

10. My gift wrapping is an atrocity. Bags are my friend.

11. 5 + 3 x 12 = hand me the calculator. Math is a foreign language to me.

12. I'm impatient to the max and will lose my shit over it.

So there you have it. Some of my shitshiney qualities. And I'm okay with being bad at stuff. I like to know and acknowledge my blind spots so they don't bite me in the ass. Then I spend 98% of my time accentuating the positive: the things I'm good at doing, my natural proclivity for certain tasks and ways of thinking. I hope you do too.

It's sunny  here today in Philadelphia, the first time since last Wednesday? Or Tuesday? I can't even remember.

Have a good one!











Linking up with Helene for Tell Me About it Tuesday.

Helene in Between

16 comments:

  1. Amen. Ugh. I really enjoy that your blog is real. Or it seems to be, anyway. I'm so over giveaways and follow me this, follow me that. I mean, we all like to make friends, but I actually enjoy reading your blog. I feel like you write what you wanna write. The end. I like that. :)

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    Replies
    1. YES. I just came to this blog to say the same thing. It's my first time here. I REALLY LIKE YOU SMD. P.S. Everything in my apartment is hung with jumbo push pins that we'll have to spackle over when we move out.

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  2. LMAO @ a baby trying to pilot a rocket. That cracked me up.

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  3. I absolutely LOVED this! When I'm first started reading "I'm every woman" popped in my head.

    I love when someone is able to admit their weaknesses. Martha Stewart wouldn't be Martha Stewart if we all could make a piñata with a glue gun and one piece of loose leaf paper. And there wouldn't be an asian nail salon in every strip mall if we all gave ourselves kick ass mani and pedis. And just think what life would be like without HGTV if we were all amazing with DIY and renovations like the Property Brothers.

    You make me smile every day! You're damn good at that! I heart your blog... plus, you're a Philly girl Someone that knows Jim's trumps Geno's ANY day! <3

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  4. oh hell yes to this post. hate blow drying my hair and I try to be "arty or crafty" but I end up just getting tired of being meticulous. Which I think has to do with #10 (giftwrapping) and people that are good at math are geniuses.

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  5. lol to all of this! Especially the Martha/crafty reference, pinterest always leaves me feeling a total failure at life when I can't assemble the latest "easy sew sweatshirt" or "super-simple" modge-poge project.

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  6. And here the show is telling us it's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

    It's dreary here. I think I'm going to tan for like 4 minutes to get some light in my face.

    My list of things at which I am shitty is lengthy. As is my list of things I kind of rock at. I can live with that.

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  7. Totally agree on ditching your weaknesses- like cake decorating- No way!
    Baking-yes! Heavy cleaning- no- surface often-yes. Laundry-obsessed with getting it done & washing everything in sight.
    Your blogs are the BOMB! BEST EVER!

    love your MOMMA

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  8. oh my gosh you are so super funny! this post was pure genius! (i just may have to steal this blog post idea for a later date... linking back to you of course!)

    i think this is why i love pinstrosity.com so much, it makes me feel SO MUCH BETTER about my anti-abilities on cooking/crafts/photography.

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  9. Haha yes. Yes to all of the above. I made glitter glasses for people for christmas and about half way through, I was like... this is a horrible idea. I should just go buy these some where. And of course, my dog is every where. She even gets on the table if a chair is close enough to let her jump up there. I just think whatever, she lives here. No one tells me not to be on the table, who am I to tell her? (that makes sense only to dog lovers...)

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  10. I'm with you on the wrapping. Aaron does all our wrapping.

    My cats go absolutely anywhere that they want, not that I could stop them if I tried. Oh, how I remember you before you had dogs. ;)

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  11. wow - I wouldn't know where to start with MY weak points! I may have to consider stealing this idea. In the meantime, I think your strong points are strong enough to block the light from any perceived weaknesses... nobody will ever notice them! Your writing alone is HUGE! Write on! (Get it?)

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  12. I hate people who try to be good at everything! It's always great to try new things, but it takes a smart woman to know what not to waste her time on! What's that phrase? "Lead with your strengths"!

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  13. You really need to write a book, Steph.

    "I like to pin shit on pinterest and imagine myself standing calmly before my assembled materials, wearing crisp white pants and a slim finely striped button down accessorized by a complementary chunky necklace, with my hair in a topknot I effortlessly fashioned myself. I gaze around serenely and pick up a tool to begin. Then I wake the fuck up and go look at something someone else has made."

    "I actually hate when people say, "Stop! You CAN do it!" One, let's be honest: I don't really want to. Two, no, I can't. Just like I can't hop on my purple Unicorn Wanda and take a quick ride to the moon."

    Thankfully, I know a great editor for you! ;-)

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  14. I'm impatient too. seriously, I'm not waiting on anybody. also, I would like a ride on your unicorn. that is all. :)

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  15. Um...ditto. To everything. Except dog hair, because we don't have one. But seriously, everthing else! I was wrapping presents last night and felt terrible that I was giving them to people. I'm also very impatient and cannot stand weak people. One of my close friends is weak and lazy to top it off and I just want to shake her and say, "Get your shit together. You're 30!" Great post!!

    ReplyDelete

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