Monday, September 12, 2011

Serenity Now.


I am a master of the mini break, a leading lady of the long weekend. I make sure my year is peppered with them. They make my heart sing, they keep me running...but there's nothing like The Big One. The Five-Days-Off-or-More-in-a-Row-Vacation.

When you get close to your vacation, you have to remind yourself to just hang in there and deal with the hurdles in your path. You're almost there. You hum Eye of the Tiger. Your mind races, circling around what needs to get done at work and last minute items to pick up from the store and is everything packed and have all the bills been paid and has everything been lined up for the dogs/house and and and and. You've reached your max capacity. I'm there. I'm pretty sure I look like this right now:


Be sure and tell 'em Large Marge sent ya! Heh heh heh heh heh

Tomorrow is my last day of work until September 26. I have 12 days off IN A ROW during which I will not give a good fuck about what goes on at work or concern myself with the petty problems of daily life. I will not do anything productive in regards to charity work or my fellow man or ride the asshole regional rail system. I will not plot out home improvement projects or lure MFD into doing them. As of Wednesday morning at 5 a.m.,


I will lounge and sun, swim with the dolphins, watch the sun rise and set on the open seas, get a massage on the beach, go on a waterslide that goes out over the ocean, whoop it up at the Hoop-De-Doo Review, ride the monorail, get my picture taken with Mickey Mouse and whatever other character I can chase down like a five year old, have a super large beer at the Biergarten, watch fireworks over Cinderella's castle, and have an all around fabulous time. MFD has never been to Disney. I seriously cannot wait to be with him in the happiest place on earth after cruising around on Disney's newest ship. I know he'll love it. Our friend and trip companion Jill has plotted our trip so he will really get the entire Disney experience.


I need to spend the next two days putting out work fires, kissing up on my dogs who I will miss terribly, picking up toiletries at Target, making sure my brother has groceries while he's dogsitting, reminding MFD to pack underwear, ripping new assholes at Wells Fargo for their incompetence, paying September's bills, doing laundry, packing, and all the other trollish pre-vacation duties. It will all be worth it when we get the rock out of here first thing on Wednesday morning. I need a break from a lot of things.

So I must bid you adieu in advance. Au revoir, bitches. Stay pretty.

Desperately seeking a time out,

SMD

p.s. This morning I saw a large man on the corner of 16th & Market with a fucked up eye, smudged eye glasses, hair that resembled a chia pet, and a stained shirt that read "I play. I vote. I like guns." Is it Tuesday at 5 yet?

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