Thursday Thoughts from in between

1. The week between Christmas and New Year's always feels like no man's land to me. It's like simultaneously a lot of stuff is happening and very little is happening and it goes quickly but also really slowly. I'm looking back on the year but looking forward to a fresh start in the next. Straddling the abyss, floating in the ether.

2. Vietnam Vets picked up yesterday. Goodbye, all the things. Everything must gooo. Sorry for the dark pic, I cannot wait to have my house back to normal so there are actual lights and not soft Christmas lights lighting the interior. I have more to purge, but a lot of it is kitchen-related and requires wrapping and boxing and I didn't have the supplies this week.

3. Monday we were on tour, visiting with Gram, the Doyle aunts and uncles, and then at Mom & Rich's.

4. Wearing this week. And thinking I'll be throwing all the nail polishes out. At least the light purple (Significant Other Color) and the glitter. They're not working for me. Shirt from Feminist Apparel, but it was part of a subscription box so I'm not sure if it's on the site but a lot of my other favorites are (like this one and this one). Feminist Apparel is a local Philly company and they rock.

5. Reading this week. Well, the favorite reads of 2016 from Tuesday's special Show Us Your Books link up, duh. Otherwise, I finished Rosarito Beach and started Bruce's book...even when I love the subject matter, I would absolutely always prefer fiction to non-fiction. The bottom three covers: I used a giftcard from MFD to pre-order the newest Fina Ludlow book by Ingrid Thoft coming out on January 10, as well as this, which appeared on a few favorite reads of 2016 lists, and this, which appeared on one.

6. Spoiler alert: we both died. Quickly. Then I made an egg bake which is the healthiest thing I've eaten in recent memory. We also discussed how we both always died early on the Oregon Trail in school. We need some savvy survivors to play with us so we have hopes of someone else carrying us to the promised land.

7. A gift from Treat Lady. We're finally going to find out what Mae is aside from pug, which will end the speculation we've been doing for years. My vote is for part troll or she-demon. LOL

8. I'm finally cutting ties with Snapfish after using them to store my photos since 2000. Everything will live in Google photos now.

9. Reminder, on appearance; and in remembrance of a fierce force in this galaxy, mental health and addiction advocate, and honest woman who showed little girls everywhere that they could raise a rebellion and save an empire:

10.  E-card of the week

Linking up with Kristin & Joey

Come on up, lay your hands in mine

Happy Friday, my friends. I'm still riding yesterday's coattails, basking in the glow of a very quick, very awesome photo opp with The Boss.

Bruce Springsteen was at the Free Library of Philadelphia promoting his memoir Born to Run, released earlier this week. I pre-ordered my copy from Amazon and am actually excited to read non-fiction - I know, who am I - so my signed copy is going to my Dad. He couldn't go yesterday and I might not be the huge fan I am today if I didn't grow up on this music. When he called not an hour after I was back at my desk I knew he'd say, "No, you keep the signed copy, that's yours," and SPOILER ALERT, he did. But it's mine and I do what I want and what I want is to give it to him.

I thought about some things I might say to Bruce in the three seconds we interfaced, like how I grew up on his music or how I cried when Clarence died or how his lyrics speak to the blue collar piece of me or how many times I used his catalog as a road trip playlist or how his energy in concert feels like a tangible parting gift he gives to every person in attendance; then I realized if I attempted to say any of those things I'd probably tear up or babble or squawk like a high pitched chicken, so I just smiled and clutched on to him for dear life, which he graciously allowed. He had a strong, calm, humble vibe like after all these years as a legend he was still surprised and grateful that people came out to see him.

Huge thanks to Jimmy for the pre-sale code and shout out to my peeps in line. Standing in the misty annoying rain for over 2.5 hours was worth it for the five second interface. Plus I got to test out my rain jacket for Ireland. Pass, with flying colors.

I never thought I'd meet The Boss, and I'm happy I had the opportunity to. I'll never recover in a good way. There are very few people I fangirl over, and he is at the very top of that list.

How do I love Dirty Dancing? Let me count the ways.

-Amazing music
-When Doc Houseman is wrong, he says he's wrong
-How ridiculous Lisa is throughout
-Newman as the Kellerman's announcer
-When Johnny breaks the window in his car and Baby says YOU'RE WIIIILLLLD
-When Baby gets told to go back to her playpen
-The two old ladies throwing off their fur stoles and dancing together at the end
-When Johnny tells Robbie the creep he's not worth a punch
-The dance scene in Johnny's room
-It made references to melons something that didn't involve boobs

-When Baby mocks how Johnny was as a teacher in the Sylvia/Mickey scene
-How I can feel my hatred for Dr. Houseman burn in me with the fire of a thousand suns when Baby is making her impassioned speech and he is staring stubbornly at the lake like a curmudgeonly hypocritical douche
-Johnny's hands in pockets pose and when he does this

-At Kellerman's the friendships last long as the mountain stands
-How Robbie refers to it as The Penny Situation
-Max's lisp
-How cute those thieving Schumachers are
-How you can't tell Jennifer Grey hated The Swayze before filming
-How Baby's mom finally gets some ass about her and tells her husband to sit down when Johnny is making his I always do the last dance speech
-The lift
-I love it as much today as the first time I saw it many moons ago

I've obviously spent a lot of time watching this movie. It's my favorite! Much to MFD's chagrin, I watch it every time it's on TV even though I own it.

What's your favorite Dirty Dancing moment? When it's not on doesn't count.

Check out the giveaway pinned to the top of my facebook page - a random winner who (of course likes the page but also) comments and lets me know what they want to see more of on the blog will win a Naked Basics Palette. Because we can't all be fancy dancer eye shadow users, am I right? Winner will be chosen tomorrow morning at 10, so gets to steppin'.


Linking up with Kathy for Humpday Confessions 

Linking up with Shanna for Random Wednesday

You're not welcome ever again

So last night on the train I saw TIGHT ROLLED PANTS, you guys. My brain seized. I was transported back to 1987 when I wore acid washed tight rolled jeans with big ass socks, colored Reeboks, and garish sweaters in Mrs. Victor's fifth grade class.

I am certainly not a fashionista. I have been to the grocery store in my plaid pajama pants. I have worn yoga pants to work. Nonetheless, here are other things I hope will go away and never come back:

• Trucker hats
• Fedoras

• Shoulder pads
• Fanny packs (I already know Laura will disagree with me on this)
• Uggs. I know, I know. They're comfortable and warm. Everyone keeps telling me that. I just...can't.

• Those sneakers that claim to tone your buttocks. They just look like lopsided platforms. 
• Vibram toe shoes. They freak me out.
• Celebrities that are bundled up for frigid temperatures when it hits 62. 

Now early 90s grunge...that can come back any day.

What trends are you over  for eternity?

Attention Kmart Shoppers: Brown paper packages tied up with strings, these are a few of my favorite things

I am so glad I have so many favorite things that I can make multiple favorite things blog posts. Sorry to those of you who liked "I'd like to buy the world a coke..." This one goes out to those Von Trapps even though I am not a fan of their antics and singing.

Attention KMart Shoppers: I threw some small gift ideas in here too, it being December and all. Did you know that if I am in a store with MFD and we are dispatched to get two different things, he will stand at the front and have me paged on the intercom? Then I get all red faced and go running to the front, and  he stands there laughing. Ho ho ho, you funny bastard.

FAVORITE THINGS

1. My quilt made specifically for me by my aunt Lori. Dogs, take note: this is not your quilt. It is awesome, and she does make them to sell if you are looking for a one of a kind gift.

2. Bruce Springsteen. Thanks to my Dad, who raised me on his music. If anyone in your life does not own this album, please buy it for them this holiday season. Or get them an iTunes gift card and stand over their shoulder while you force them to purchase each song.

3. Pinterest.com. Obsession and major time suck. Follow me: stephdoyle (if you need an invite, let me know!). For you crafty do it yourselfers, there are some awesome ideas on homemade gifts. HO HO HO mofos.

4. Making lists. Things to do, things to buy, things to see, people for karma to deal with in the appropriate manner.

5. Essie nail polish. OPI, you and your fat brushes are OUT. Since September 24, I've worn Essie's Merino Cool on my nails 80 percent of the time. Get some or give some as a stocking stuffer.

6. The original 90210. If anyone is looking to buy me a Christmas gift, I would like 90210 on DVD. All seasons. Please and thank you.

7. Chi-Chis. Yes, it's closed. Lori used to take me to lunch at the Oxford Valley Mall Chi-Chis almost every weekend in the late 80s/early 90s. Their taco salad is unparalleled, and I want to eat it again before I die. Please like the Bring Back Chi-Chi's Mexican Restaurant page on Facebook. Humor me!

8. I always forget how much I love Dolly Parton. Then someone mentions her and I remember. The wigs, the insane boobs, the tinkly laugh, the unfortunate starring role in Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. Islands in the Stream. Jolene. I Will Always Love You. And my favorite this time of year - Hard Candy Christmas. If that's not on your Christmas playlist, it should be. It is certainly on ours. MFD, please take me to Dollywood. But not next year, we have too many awesome vacation plans already set for 2012: Niagara Falls. San Fran. Tahoe. Carribbean Cruise. The poor house.

9. These socks from Le Crap. They are so comfortable and soft. Stuff them in someone's stocking.

10. Blackberry brandy. Put it in your tea for a hot toddy. Dear Santa, I need a lot of bottles. I was sometimes good.

11. This quote, which I live by:

12. This directive, and also the word turd itself:

13. This kicks the shit out of super dry and itchy winter skin:

14. The best iced tea to use when making your own at home:

15. Google reader, for keeping all of the blogs I follow organized and displays new posts ready for me to read when I have a minute to read them. To those of you who like to follow blogs and are not using this tool, I ask why the hell not? Sign up and keep all your blogs in one place. www.google.com/reader

Toodleoo, mofos. Happy shopping. A word to the wise: don't be grinchy, don't lose your shit over a parking spot, if you're cranky quarantine yourself to your room, and don't make the holidays all about yourself because that ruins them for everyone else. Spread cheer and smile until your face cracks.

Tastefully yours as ever,

SMD

Oh, perfect world.

Obviously, in a truly perfect for ME world, I'd be rich beyond comparison and able to spend my time volunteering and reading on the beach. Besides that, I think a perfect world would be one in which...

Food & Drink
Pizza, pasta, cheese, butter, pies, ribeye steaks, hotdogs, Doritos, and ice cream treats would be the no-cal extremely healthy super foods. Brown rice would be the worst possible food you could eat.

Blah

Wine, beer and booze would have no calories, and drinking them would not impair your ability to drive or trigger any asshole genes in anyone.

The Human Condition and Governance
No one would be hungry, dirty, abused, neglected, illiterate, forgotten, lonely, dealing with cancer, or without shelter.

All children would be safe and loved, and no parent would lose a child before their time.
There would be no lazy assholes living off the system.

White men would not rule everything. There truly would be equality for all races, creeds, genders, and sexual orientations. Under this also falls: equal pay for equal work, no legislation on wombs, and no limit to who can marry who as long as the union is age appropriate and both parties are willing.

Violent crime including rape, murder, and child molesting wouldn't exist.

Marijuana is legal, mmkay?

Government officials would turn blue when they told a lie, which they'd only be able to do for a maximum of four years. Welcome to term limits, bitches. Oh, and no more health insurance and pensions for eternity while average Americans pay their own insurance and build their own retirement funds. While you might not like to admit it, that is also being a lazy asshole living off of the system.

Asshole Island would be a place where perpetual asshole ruiners would be sent to make each other miserable and leave the rest of us alone. Alternate name: Island of Misfit Toys - Peters, Lil and I use this one. I was introduced to Asshole Island by my friend Sylvia. I have to say I like it. Asshole is one of my favorite words.

Welcome to Asshole Island. Enjoy your life here, Asshole. 

Work
Work weeks would be four days, weekends three.

Standard American vacation time would be four weeks off to start, as well as a week of sick time. And all of the bank/school holidays.

Everyone would be off from December 23 - January 2. I'm sorry, as the wife of a mummer I must demand this. The last week of late nights and extra practices kill the energy of everyone in the house, not just the one mumming. I need my rest.

Personal
My nose would never run.

I'd be able to eat and drink whatever I wanted and be healthy and trim.

I'd be the mistress of a shore compound in Strathmere and make a living writing novels about assholes who have moved away to Asshole Island.

Dog hair would disintegrate when it fell off of dogs.
My dogs would live as long as I did so there was never a day when I didn't come home to them howling with pure joy, Geege running in circles yipping and Gussie bringing me a toy.

90210 (the original) would air continually until I died. Those bastards would never age, Donna would never cease to look like a snail, Kelly would never choose between Brandon and Dylan, Brenda would never stop throwing hissy fits, Valerie would continue to be a conniving asshole, and they'd all be on the show at the same time. Exceptions: I want Steve to have a huge bald spot, and I want Andrea Zuckerman to look her real age while everyone else stays young. Also, Noah shouldn't speak.

I'd never get a zit again.

Clown costumes and horror movies wouldn't exist.


My work attire would be yoga pants, sneakers, and a super soft shirt.

Day dreaming,

SMD

p.s. it's only Tuesday? For the love of God.
p.p.s. Thank you Shelby Cohen of this blog for pointing out something I forgot - everyone should have their birthday off.

I Don't Get It - Volume II

More things I don't get, man.

1. The phrase "Just sayin'." Are you actually just saying it, or are you really doing it/thinking it/feeling it? The phrase's time has come to an end. I'm not just saying that. I really mean it.

2. When the weather turns from summer to those first crisp days of fall in October and people turn out in wool coats and gloves. No one has fleeces or lighter jackets? A heavier sweater and scarf are inadequate for 63 degree weather? Do their moms send them out like this in January?

3. Imma be.

Gus - Halloween 2006

4. Thinking dolls and stuffed animals are cute as an adult.

5. Consistently being late. We all have things that delay us when we're trying to get somewhere. Life is about adapting and constantly examining options and priorities - sometimes you can't do something or deal with an issue AND be on time. If it can wait, let it wait. Most things can wait. Don't keep your clients, colleagues, friends or family waiting. It's unprofessional and rude.

Set your clock earlier or something, fool.

6. How my entertainment center can be dusty immediately after I dust it. Why, household gods? Why?

TV tuned in to Investigation Discovery Channel.

7. These two.

8. The most recent upgrade to facebook. I can see what friends post on the walls of their friends that I don't know. Why would I want to be able to do this? Everyone likes to stalk a little bit but this is just a creeper's paradise, Zuckerberg.

9. The Real Housewives. I watch, but I don't understand. 

10. Why people think only lazy uneducated hippies understand Occupy Wall Street. I have a job and a mortgage. I bathe daily. I don't piss outside unless it is absolutely necessary. I don't understand the concept of not working every day or not washing every day, but I do understand people taking issue with  the American taxpayers bailing out the banks and other corporations and then being pissed off when the banks hike fees on the consumers and stop lending money to small businesses; and the CEOs of the banks and other corporations continue to make a zillion dollars and receive bonuses. That makes no sense to the OWS protestors, and I have to agree with them. Some of the OWS people are probably lazy assholes, some of them are pissing all over the walls of City Hall or storing their urine in bottles here in Philly...but some of them are exactly like me, and work their asses off and are getting squeezed by the tax man while huge corporations fuck off and are not held accountable for what they've done with the money lent to them from my taxes, and CEOs of companies that were bailed out flitter around on private jets.

I am annoyed with every member of my government, and I think they should all be called to the carpet and impeached. I'm sick of the politicking, the finger pointing, and the arguing over gay marriage and abortions while people lose their jobs and homes. Fix the fucking economy and let people worry about who they marry or if they carry a child. Hold people accountable for their lives. Cut the lifetime pensions and health benefits for elected officials - you serve your term(s) and you go, then you do something else. You don't continue to live off of the tax payers for eternity. Create jobs so the unemployed and the people on welfare can earn a living and provide for themselves. Fix the welfare system - it was designed to give people a leg up, not to be their income for years and years.