Five things I'm grateful for on this Friday in March and every day

1. Women who have put their voices out into the world, whether it be on a large stage, on a smaller community stage, or in their personal circles of family and friends to empower, encourage, support, and advance all women. Women I know and women I don't. Strong female framily I have been lucky enough to have from all stages of life who are the backbone of my life. All the people who are feminists and not afraid to show it and say it. The people raising little girls and boys who are committed to an equal, equitable future for every kid. International Women's Day is every day. Women's History Month is every month. The world does not run without women. Recognize and use your power for good. 

2. Fun plates as meals. 

3. Growing up on 90201, loving it through its ups and downs, still following the cast, still talking about the story lines, arguing with one of my BFF's husband's over Brenda/Dylan vs. Kelly/Dylan almost 20 years after the show ended, and the collective commiseration over the young and unfortunate passing of Luke Perry. We were not okay this week, not only because we loved the show but because we saw these characters as a just out of reach peer group and when someone dies unexpectedly like that our own mortality is put in front of us for us to examine. Despite the sad death of the man who played Dylan McKay to our collective delight and by all accounts was a kind and generous human and family man, it's nice to have ever had such a connection to something in the first place that would even bring that collective not okayness about. 90210 forever. 

4. Patterned shoes and colored shoes and personality shoes. 

5. Nail polish. If you ever see me without it, something is wrong and you should send for help.

Happy Friday in March: a few days out from longer light, one week out from my birthday, less than two weeks out from spring equinox. What five things make your grateful list today? 

Attention Kmart Shoppers: Brown paper packages tied up with strings, these are a few of my favorite things

I am so glad I have so many favorite things that I can make multiple favorite things blog posts. Sorry to those of you who liked "I'd like to buy the world a coke..." This one goes out to those Von Trapps even though I am not a fan of their antics and singing.

Attention KMart Shoppers: I threw some small gift ideas in here too, it being December and all. Did you know that if I am in a store with MFD and we are dispatched to get two different things, he will stand at the front and have me paged on the intercom? Then I get all red faced and go running to the front, and  he stands there laughing. Ho ho ho, you funny bastard.

FAVORITE THINGS

1. My quilt made specifically for me by my aunt Lori. Dogs, take note: this is not your quilt. It is awesome, and she does make them to sell if you are looking for a one of a kind gift.

2. Bruce Springsteen. Thanks to my Dad, who raised me on his music. If anyone in your life does not own this album, please buy it for them this holiday season. Or get them an iTunes gift card and stand over their shoulder while you force them to purchase each song.

3. Pinterest.com. Obsession and major time suck. Follow me: stephdoyle (if you need an invite, let me know!). For you crafty do it yourselfers, there are some awesome ideas on homemade gifts. HO HO HO mofos.

4. Making lists. Things to do, things to buy, things to see, people for karma to deal with in the appropriate manner.

5. Essie nail polish. OPI, you and your fat brushes are OUT. Since September 24, I've worn Essie's Merino Cool on my nails 80 percent of the time. Get some or give some as a stocking stuffer.

6. The original 90210. If anyone is looking to buy me a Christmas gift, I would like 90210 on DVD. All seasons. Please and thank you.

7. Chi-Chis. Yes, it's closed. Lori used to take me to lunch at the Oxford Valley Mall Chi-Chis almost every weekend in the late 80s/early 90s. Their taco salad is unparalleled, and I want to eat it again before I die. Please like the Bring Back Chi-Chi's Mexican Restaurant page on Facebook. Humor me!

8. I always forget how much I love Dolly Parton. Then someone mentions her and I remember. The wigs, the insane boobs, the tinkly laugh, the unfortunate starring role in Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. Islands in the Stream. Jolene. I Will Always Love You. And my favorite this time of year - Hard Candy Christmas. If that's not on your Christmas playlist, it should be. It is certainly on ours. MFD, please take me to Dollywood. But not next year, we have too many awesome vacation plans already set for 2012: Niagara Falls. San Fran. Tahoe. Carribbean Cruise. The poor house.

9. These socks from Le Crap. They are so comfortable and soft. Stuff them in someone's stocking.

10. Blackberry brandy. Put it in your tea for a hot toddy. Dear Santa, I need a lot of bottles. I was sometimes good.

11. This quote, which I live by:

12. This directive, and also the word turd itself:

13. This kicks the shit out of super dry and itchy winter skin:

14. The best iced tea to use when making your own at home:

15. Google reader, for keeping all of the blogs I follow organized and displays new posts ready for me to read when I have a minute to read them. To those of you who like to follow blogs and are not using this tool, I ask why the hell not? Sign up and keep all your blogs in one place. www.google.com/reader

Toodleoo, mofos. Happy shopping. A word to the wise: don't be grinchy, don't lose your shit over a parking spot, if you're cranky quarantine yourself to your room, and don't make the holidays all about yourself because that ruins them for everyone else. Spread cheer and smile until your face cracks.

Tastefully yours as ever,

SMD

Oh, perfect world.

Obviously, in a truly perfect for ME world, I'd be rich beyond comparison and able to spend my time volunteering and reading on the beach. Besides that, I think a perfect world would be one in which...

Food & Drink
Pizza, pasta, cheese, butter, pies, ribeye steaks, hotdogs, Doritos, and ice cream treats would be the no-cal extremely healthy super foods. Brown rice would be the worst possible food you could eat.

Blah

Wine, beer and booze would have no calories, and drinking them would not impair your ability to drive or trigger any asshole genes in anyone.

The Human Condition and Governance
No one would be hungry, dirty, abused, neglected, illiterate, forgotten, lonely, dealing with cancer, or without shelter.

All children would be safe and loved, and no parent would lose a child before their time.
There would be no lazy assholes living off the system.

White men would not rule everything. There truly would be equality for all races, creeds, genders, and sexual orientations. Under this also falls: equal pay for equal work, no legislation on wombs, and no limit to who can marry who as long as the union is age appropriate and both parties are willing.

Violent crime including rape, murder, and child molesting wouldn't exist.

Marijuana is legal, mmkay?

Government officials would turn blue when they told a lie, which they'd only be able to do for a maximum of four years. Welcome to term limits, bitches. Oh, and no more health insurance and pensions for eternity while average Americans pay their own insurance and build their own retirement funds. While you might not like to admit it, that is also being a lazy asshole living off of the system.

Asshole Island would be a place where perpetual asshole ruiners would be sent to make each other miserable and leave the rest of us alone. Alternate name: Island of Misfit Toys - Peters, Lil and I use this one. I was introduced to Asshole Island by my friend Sylvia. I have to say I like it. Asshole is one of my favorite words.

Welcome to Asshole Island. Enjoy your life here, Asshole. 

Work
Work weeks would be four days, weekends three.

Standard American vacation time would be four weeks off to start, as well as a week of sick time. And all of the bank/school holidays.

Everyone would be off from December 23 - January 2. I'm sorry, as the wife of a mummer I must demand this. The last week of late nights and extra practices kill the energy of everyone in the house, not just the one mumming. I need my rest.

Personal
My nose would never run.

I'd be able to eat and drink whatever I wanted and be healthy and trim.

I'd be the mistress of a shore compound in Strathmere and make a living writing novels about assholes who have moved away to Asshole Island.

Dog hair would disintegrate when it fell off of dogs.
My dogs would live as long as I did so there was never a day when I didn't come home to them howling with pure joy, Geege running in circles yipping and Gussie bringing me a toy.

90210 (the original) would air continually until I died. Those bastards would never age, Donna would never cease to look like a snail, Kelly would never choose between Brandon and Dylan, Brenda would never stop throwing hissy fits, Valerie would continue to be a conniving asshole, and they'd all be on the show at the same time. Exceptions: I want Steve to have a huge bald spot, and I want Andrea Zuckerman to look her real age while everyone else stays young. Also, Noah shouldn't speak.

I'd never get a zit again.

Clown costumes and horror movies wouldn't exist.


My work attire would be yoga pants, sneakers, and a super soft shirt.

Day dreaming,

SMD

p.s. it's only Tuesday? For the love of God.
p.p.s. Thank you Shelby Cohen of this blog for pointing out something I forgot - everyone should have their birthday off.