This morning I was sitting out back thinking

-How fucking great it is to have the ability on a work day to sit out back and think with a cup of coffee instead of rushing out the door like a fucking crazy person.

-Mae makes a an awful keening sound that sounds distinctly human and is very jolting. 

-About my BFF Michelle, who celebrates her birthday today. When I talk about the people who have seen the literal worst moments of my life and never looked away but instead either sat beside me in my pain or grief or rage, or helped me figure it out, she is at the top of that list. It's funny how life brings you people that you need. We met about/over 18 years ago now at the Hulmeville because she was dating a friend of ours and bonded over soap operas of all things. Life went on and she didn't keep him, but I kept her and will forever. I keep all the real ones who see me and let me see them. Everyone else falls off when they're meant to. Happy birthday Michelle!

-The glorious smell of in-season, perfectly ripe strawberries that wafts out when you open the fridge

-The comfort I get from having furniture of my grandmom's and great grandmom's

-How sad it is when people do not have true friends who really see and accept and love them 

-How fucking bizarre the concept of an influencer is, and in that same internet vein, how heavy and hard it must be for some people to have an online persona and a face to face persona and those people are not the same people. We are here to be our authentic selves in this one life, and not doing that removes authenticity, truth, and imperfect human beauty from the world. Be who you are. Everyone else is taken. 

-Summer rain rules because then you don't have to water plants. 

-Dogs have become clingy monsters in pandemic life. I will never be sad to have all the extra time with Gus as his body breaks down and he approaches 16. 

-I put two seriously late birthday cards for the Kims, Michelle's card, and my bonus grandfather's Father's Day card in the mailbox today. Do mail people still take letters to be mailed from the box or do they have to go in the actual mailbox on the street? Update, I know you were on the edge of your seat: my mail person took them

-Birds are pushy squatters. 

-Actually flexing flex time is a whole new world. Gus was up shitting at 5 am and I had been up until midnight reading. I got all the dogs up and out, fed them, pulled the sheets off the bed, gathered towels throughout the house, threw a load of laundry in, got a bin out as the trash still hadn't been picked up, and went back to sleep for an hour. I started work at 9:30 and will just extend. I didn't stress or run around and it is such a nicer way to exist. We've always had flex time, but it's harder to flex when you are commuting and dealing with train schedules. They start to suck after the 6 pm hour.

-I am up to my armpits in deadline driven work for the next month.

-I will never understand the unwillingness to get a vaccine in a global pandemic especially when the excuse is big pharma or govt using you as research. What the fuck do you think they're doing through the device you're reading this on right now? Or because you don't want that in your body, but you ingest chemicals through your skin, mouth, and nose in the products you use on your body/face/hair, how you care for your lawn, what you eat and drink, what comes through your pipes. Man alive.

-Life has become a series of the eating same foods over and over prepared just a bit differently. I'm making greek orzo salad today.

-I have to start stretching. I think this all the time but I have to.

-There is a shit load of organizing, furniture moving, and painting to be done in the Philly house. I am a broken record with this as I swear projects lag here like they don't at the shore, probably because they can't at the shore due to it being a vacation rental for some of the year. We're in a holding pattern for a while as everything is off the walls through quite a few rooms as we paint and move stuff around. The gallery wall alone going up the steps has so much on it. One of the bedrooms is basically empty as we wait to paint it. We're living among piles. I want to throw it all out.

Love, Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy and also me.

The Tuesdayest Tuesday of All Tuesdays

Yesterday

I got up late.

I had to run for the train.

I forgot my toast was in the toaster oven and nearly set the office on fire, calling on coworkers to help me wave the smoke out of open doors.  We spent the rest of the afternoon stinking of smoke and regret.

I locked myself out of the office just before leaving.

My train home broke down and we had to get off at the North Philly station to wait for another to come and pick us up. Eau de urine permeated the air. People stood in tight clusters of rage. It took me two hours and 10 minutes to get home.

Due to the toast incident, I forgot to order groceries so I pulled open the freezer and made the grossest honey chipotle crusted salmon for dinner. Then I undercooked the rice. MFD was all what is this I said it’s just for tonight, eat it and we will never speak of it again. 

I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to welcome Wednesday, and I have a lot of Tuesdayish Tuesdays under my belt. 

Let’s make this day better than the last, friends. In my case, it shouldn’t be that hard. 

Veggie soup for the soul

When it comes to comfort food, I like the things with the pasta and the cheese and the gooey goodness just like everyone else but to me, true hearty comfort is soup. I associate soup with something lovingly coaxed from a pot on the stove by myself now most Sundays, and by many women in my family in the generations before me. To me, soup is love. 

My soups often contain meat, making them more of a meal in themselves. But there's nothing like a veggie soup that's perfect with a salad or a thick hunk of bread with butter, or as a side to a grilled cheese or simple main course casserole or meat dish. 

Ingredients

2 TBS olive oil

1 medium onion, chopped 

1.5 TBS minced garlic

4 carrots, washed and chopped (I leave my peels on) 

3 stalks celery, washed and chopped

4 (14.5 oz) cans vegetable broth or homemade equivalent (chicken or beef broth is fine too)

2 (14.5 oz) cans petite diced tomatoes - do not drain

3 medium red or gold potatoes, scrubbed up well and diced 1/2-inch thick potatoes (again, leave skins on)

1 bay leaf

1/2 TSP dried thyme

Salt and freshly ground black pepper

1.5 cups chopped frozen green beans

1/4 cup to 1/2 cup lima beans

1.5 cups frozen corn

1 cup frozen peas

Directions

Heat olive oil in a large pot over medium heat. Add onions, carrots, and celery and saute 4 minutes then add garlic and saute for another minute. 

Add broth, tomatoes, potatoes, bay leaf, thyme, and season with salt and pepper to taste. Bring to a boil and add green beans and lima beans. Reduce heat to medium low, cover and simmer 25 minutes or until potatoes are tender. 

Add corn and peas and cook 7 minutes. 

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Haikuesday

This is good for you.
Veggie soup, it makes you poop...
Not a selling point?

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All that being shared, Tuesday can F off. Just because.

Toodles.

Linking up for

Oh look! More spinach...Spinach & Artichoke Dip

If you couldn't tell from the recipes for spinach muffins and spinach casserole I've shared recently (in addition of course to spinach dip) as well as my proliferation for adding spinach to my breakfast burritos and egg muffins, I am an enormous fan of spinach. Spinach is an excellent source of fiber, protein, Vitamins A, C, E, K, thiamin, B6, folate, calcium, iron, magnesium, phosphorus, potassium, copper, and manganese. 

As we head into the ho ho holiday party season, we naturally look for some solid dishes to bring along to parties or to serve ourselves at home. I'm not one to reinvent the wheel when it comes to dips. The saying oldies but goodies exists for a reason. 

Hot spinach & artichoke dip is one of my favorite fall/winter apps. It's creamy, dreamy, and most of all easy. I serve it with Ritz crackers and raw red peppers, but it's good with tortilla chips too! You don't need to craft a photo-finish Pinterest masterpiece every time you want to make an app, and this dip is proof of that. 

Ingredients

8 oz light cream cheese, softened

1 cup mayo

10 oz frozen spinach, thawed and squeezed dry

1 14 oz can or jar of artichokes, drained and chopped

1.5 cups finely shredded mozzarella cheese

1/4-1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese - I don't love it so I stick to close to a quarter

a pinch of kosher salt

1/4 tsp white pepper

2 cloves garlic, minced, or 2 tsp + of garlic powder (to taste)

Directions

Mix everything together and put it in a tiny crockpot on low for about 2 hours. Mix every once in a while. Reduce heat to warm or turn off entirely until you need to warm it up. 

You know what would be awesome to mix this? A kitchenaid. I'm on the lookout for a great deal online this weekend. If you see one please let me know!

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Haikuesday

Popeye. Spinach. Me.
What love may join together
Wait, that is marriage. 

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What's one of your go-to appetizers for the fall and winter months?

On a national note...I've written about Ferguson before. I can't do it justice here today but I did share some feelings on Instagram because I don't want to be radio silent about things that matter while I'm sharing recipes all la di dah. My thoughts are with the community there and with all of us for peace. 

Linking up for

Show Us Your Books! What I read in October

Link up your posts about the book(s) you've read recently with Jana of Jana Says and me!

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I was in a bit of a reading rut at the beginning of the month so I'm a little light overall here. I've been reading at a steady clip and my mind just needed a break from it. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, I know I need to let it take its course. I was also beset by some bad books. I hate when that happens, don't you? Anyway, on with it.

Once is Not Enough by Jacqueline Susann - I had high hopes for this because I liked Valley of the Dolls when I read it a few years back. This book was AWFUL. I read halfway through then returned it.

Empire Falls by Richard Russo - I had very high hopes for this book. The prologue nearly killed me with boredom, but I soldiered on. This is one of those books where everyone loves it and I just...don't. I found it really tedious. It reminded me of how I felt when I read most John Irving novels. Like I know I'm supposed to find this compelling and excellent but I do not. 

The Promise of Stardust by Priscille Sibley - I loved this book so hard. I was intent on reading it and adored everything about it. Such a hard, hard subject - actually a few hard ones tucked into this book - written and expressed really beautifully. It gave me all the feels so be prepared. Add it to your list. 

Apple Tree Yard by Louise Doughty - Some parts of this book made it a total page turner. Others made me pause and think. Overall, I was left a little unsatisfied. I think it had a lot more potential and petered out on some fronts. Yvonne annoyed me. The depiction of X  felt a little like a tinny characterization.

Some Luck by Jane Smiley - Way back when, I read A Thousand Acres. I thought it was smashing. I kept waiting for this book to smash me over the head with wonder. It never came. I really liked a lot of things about this, including seeing the changes that came across the country and the world over the 33 years this first novel in a trilogy spans. Some things peaked my interest, but if the other two novels of this trilogy are 419 pages each of middling story at best, I'm not sure if I can hang in there. I feel like this skimmed the surface of what really went on in this family over the years, and surface doesn't typically cut it for me in a book of this length. I slogged through this at best. 

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Haikuesday

Four day week for me...

So Tuesday is not as bad.

Just kidding. It is. 

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Link up your posts about the book(s) you've read recently with  Jana of Jana Says and me!

This link up will happen the second Tuesday of every month. 

The next one is Tuesday, December 9.

And of course, thank you to all Veterans not only today on Veterans Day, but every other day as well.

 

10 Things I do to make Life Easier in the Kitchen

1. I put tinfoil in a bowl before I drain the grease from bacon. I throw it out or freeze it if I'm going to use it to cook with at another time. I don't need to worry about a gross bowl.

2. I prepare food on Sundays: breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks. I'm cleaning up for an hour or two one day versus every morning and night. I leave the house by 7 and get home at 6. I do not feel like cooking every night. Being prepared gives me no excuse for eating shitty processed meals. That being said, some weekends we're away or I'm too busy to do that. So I always have some meals in the freezer ready to heat and eat: quiche (pieces frozen individually), breakfast burritos, baked ziti, enchiladas, mexican stuffed shells, soup.

3. If a recipe calls for half an onion, I chop the rest of it and freeze it. Likewise, if I only need a tablespoon or two of tomato paste, I freeze the rest of the can in ice cube trays and to use at my leisure. No haste, no waste, and since I usually add them to sauce or soup, no defrosting. I hate wasting food. There are too many people in this world who don't have that luxury.

4. As soon as I use the last of something, I grab my phone and write it down on a list under the Grocery Note I keep in the notes. I check that when I'm making my grocery or Target lists. I've been shopping more at Target using my red card for a 5% discount plus the Cartwheel app, Target mobile coupons, and real live coupons.

5. Wear gloves when doing dishes. Do you think these nails keep themselves? I buy fun gloves at Homegoods to put a shine on a shit chore.

6. I separate bananas when I bring them home - it keeps them good longer.

7. I never buy buttermilk because it would go bad before I'd use it all. If I need it, I add a tablespoon of lemon juice to a cup of milk, stir, and let stand for 10 minutes. Viola - you made buttermilk, bitches.

8. I whisk eggs in a four cup measuring cup so they're easy to pour out.

9.  I don't peel carrots, cucumbers, or potatoes. Again, I hate wasting food and more importantly wasting nutrients. Most nutrients in carrots are in or just below the skin. Scrub those bitches and cut the ends off and boom, you're good to go. Cucumber peel is a good source of fiber. Potato skin has a ton of finber and vitamins - it's full of vitamin K, potassium, copper, and iron. So if you eat over and we're having potato salad or mashed potatoes, expect the skin.

10. I always have a box of brownie mix in the pantry and a few bags of frozen berries in the fridge. If I have to make a dessert on the fly to serve to impromptu dinner guests or bring to a spontaneous gathering, brownies and berry cobbler will do nicely.

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Haikuesday

Share your kitchen tips!

Ordering out tricks work too.

Please, no tips on beets. 

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Tomorrow: our weekend in Mexico. Hasta manana, amigos.

About that Dollar Shave Club

My mom brought me this Chi-Chi's sombrero from  her attic last night. RIP Chi-Chi's.

Update 11/13/17 - We no longer use the Dollar Shave Club monthly service because they are advertising on Sean Hannity's program and we do not support programs who provide shelter to pedophiles like Roy Moore. I placed an order with Dorco and that's how we'll go forward. 

Let me start by saying Tuesday sucks. And also that I was not compensated for this post or given a free product to try and review. I'm just passing what I consider to be a good deal on to you, dear readers.

I saw a blog post on a 'lil hoohaa about the Dollar Shave Club in December. What a genius idea for a stocking stuffer! I promptly signed MFD up. Mail fail - it came, I didn't squirrel it away, and I am into instant gratification so I said open it now! He's been using the razor blades for a month and likes them better than his former razors. Can I take a minute to say that I love that I have a husband who will play along with my desired blog photos?

Anyway...I typically buy Venus to the tune of $12+ per package and MFD uses Schick for $14+ per package. Buying razors always makes me mad because that's freaking highway robbery but if one does not want to walk around like a hairy Sasquatch it's a necessary expense. Could I use cheaper ones? I could. I could also shave my legs with a cheese grater. As I was saying...

Dollar Shave Club offers packages for $1/month, $6/month, or $9 for month. I chose the $6/month package for MFD. The initial package includes the razor and four blades, and four new blades arrive via mail every month. It's marketed towards men, but it's a great deal for women too. I thought let me get in on that, and bought a one off razor and pack of cartridges for myself. I'll just steal one of his or order another set to arrive with his monthly order whenever I'm running out. The razors are good and do what razors should do.

MFD's razor expenses went from $14/month down to $6/month, a savings of $96/year. I only buy cartridges every other month, so I went from $72/year to $36/year for an overall razor savings of $132/year. I love cutting costs like a boss wherever I can, especially if the product performs well at the lower price point.

If you want to save some cash, give Dollar Shave Club a try. I also learned that you can buy blades direct from Dorco USA, which supplies Dollar Shave Club, and if you buy in bulk you can save more - 6 packs of four blade razors for $28, free shipping over $25. So you can save $8 more over a period of six months if you choose. I will never remember when we're out, so I'm sticking with a monthly delivery from Dollar Shave Club that requires no thought or action from me.

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Haikuesday:

Razors. You need them.

Dollar Shave Club saves you cash.

Use it to buy shoes.

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I thought this was a good savings opportunity to pass on - every little bit counts, right?

A Thanksgiving Timeline

There are 470,892 Thanksgiving recipes out there, so instead of sharing the recipes I used when we hosted Friendsgiving this weekend, I thought I'd share my timeline in painstaking detail because that's what really amps people up. Thanksgiving is a meal where the main course takes up your oven for a lot of the day and there are 702 side dishes you also need to put into the oven. And it has to be on the table simultaneously, so it all comes down to timing. If you want any of the recipes, please leave me a comment or shoot me an email at lifeaccordingtosteph@gmail.com and I'll get them to you. My menu for eight adults and one child:

Appetizers: 
Raw yellow peppers with onion dip
Devilled eggs a la Debbie
Cheese and crackers
Butternut squash soup a la Angie

Main: 
Turkey
Mashed potatoes
Stuffing - in the bird and out of the bird
Spinach casserole
Sweet potato casserole
Corn
Green beans
Rolls & butter
Cranberry sauce (jelly)
gravy - with pan drippings
gravy - with pan drippings and giblets

Dessert: 
Peanut Butter and chocolate buckeyes a la Jenny
Apple and pumpkin pie a la Amanda

Dinner was scheduled for Saturday at 6:00. Sorry if this bugs your eyes out, but here's my play by play:

Friday:
2-3 p.m.: Grocery shopping: me at two stores and MFD at two stores.
3:30 - 4: Chop herbs for brine, prepare brine for the turkey, put turkey in the brine breast-side down and into the fridge. Name your turkey. Our turkey's name is Bernard.

4:15: Slice foccacia bread into bite sized pieces for stuffing. Allow to sit out for the rest of the night on a jelly roll pan.
4:30 - 6:00: Chop celery and onions for the stuffing, sage/rosemary/thyme for the stuffing, peppers for the app, onions for the spinach casserole, herbs for herbed butter. Store in separate tupperware containers. Remove a stick of butter from the fridge. Snap ends off of beans, store in a ziploc bag.
6:05: Become consumed with fear that my 15.23 pound turkey will not be enough, and put a 7 pound bone-in turkey breast in the oven. Baste every half hour.
7:00: Thaw and squeeze water from two packs of frozen chopped spinach. Store in tupperware.
8:20: Remove turkey breast, let rest for 20 minutes then remove to platter.
8:30: Make giblet gravy with the pan drippings (MFD).
8:45: MFD carves turkey breast. I cut up lemons, limes, oranges for drinks.

9:00 Make herbed butter with the herbs designated for it and the butter that's been softening for a few hours.
10:00:  Turn the turkey over onto its back in the brine, put the cubed bread into a gallon-sized ziploc.

Saturday: 
8:00 a.m.: Turn turkey over so it's breast side down in brine again.
9:00: Prepare spinach casserole and bake.
9:15: Receive email mentioning butter, realize butter was left out of the casserole, haul ass into the kitchen and frantically add it.
9:30: Prepare sweet potato casserole.
9:40: Remove spinach casserole and allow to cool on counter, put sweet potato casserole into oven.
9:45: Saute onions and celery for out of the bird stuffing, assemble.
10:00: Remove turkey from brine, dry thoroughly with towels, put on a platter and refrigerate.
10:15: Remove sweet potato casserole from oven and allow to cool on counter, put stuffing into oven.
10:15: Realize I will need more bread for in the bird stuffing. Toast backup bag of pre-cubed bread in the oven for 20 minutes. Thank the universe audibly that you always overbuy and do not have to rush to the store. 
10:20: Realize I need more herbs, onions, and celery for in the bird stuffing. Chop then saute.
10:45: Remove stuffing from oven and allow to cool on counter.
11:00: Remove turkey from fridge and set on counter. Dry it again.
11:15: Put stuffing, spinach casserole, and sweet potato casserole in the fridge.

11:45: Prepare turkey with veggie oil, herbed butter, and stuffing.
12 noon: The bird goes in the oven. Baste at 45 minutes and every half hour after that, rotate pan hourly.
12:15 p.m.: Make onion dip and refrigerate.
12:20: Wipe down the kitchen, run the dishwasher, do the kitchen floor. Put towels used to dry out turkey and clean into the wash.
1:15: Consider painting nails but realize you need to wear oven mitts as gloves for the next five hours.
2:00: Set the table.
2:30: Set the drinks up, make extra pitcher of iced tea, put a stick of butter out in a glass dish, fill up salt & pepper shakers
3:15: Turkey smells done and according to the thermometer, it is done. Tent that bird with foil.
3:30: Peel and cut potatoes, store in pot of cold salted water on stove top. Open three cans of corn and put in a bowl, cover with saran and refrigerate.
3:45: Move bird to large platter. Make gravy with pan drippings.
4:00: MFD carves turkey (and eats it surreptitiously like a wild jackal), arranges it in a weird presentation, and covers tightly with foil.
4:10: Turn oven to 200 and put spinach casserole, stuffing, and sweet potato casserole in the oven, covered.
4:30: Raise heat to 350.
5:00: Boil water for potatoes. Start to get really hot after standing in front of oven for eleven hundred days.
5:15: Steam green beans for 6 minutes, put gravy in gravy boats, open cranberry sauce and refrigerate. I am now moving like a well-oiled machine. 
5:25: Put apps and cold drinks out, fill ice bucket, light candles.
5:30: Saute green beans in three batches.
5:30: Finish off mashed potatoes (MFD). I heat up giblet gravy from Friday night.
5:35: Pull sweet potatoes out of the oven, put turkey and mashed potatoes in (covered), reduce heat to 275.
5:45: Put rolls in basket and cover with a towel.
5:50: Remove everything from the oven, put marshmallows on top of the sweet potato casserole and broil. Put remaining food on the table. Keep a close eye on sweet potatoes. Microwave corn, green beans, and gravy. Go go Gadget arms.
5:58: Make sure everyone has drinks and all dishes have spoons. Ladle soup into bowls. Bark out orders. 
6:00: Grab cranberry sauce in a last chance power drive.
6:04: Sit down to eat. Boom. The meal is eaten in less time than it takes to peel the potatoes, which I only ever do on Thanksgiving. We eat them with skins the rest of the year. 

Haikuesday:

Gather round, my friends. 

(If you fit with all the food)

Can tables collapse?

My advice:
1. Buy what you can. For me that's rolls and cranberry sauce. If you make rolls, make them ahead and freeze them.
2. Do not concoct a pie in the sky menu that you're not going to be able to execute. Keep it simple. Let people fill the holes in your menu. Write down or know a schedule in your head.
3. Do whatever you can before hand - chopping veggies is a big one. Setting out dishes you'll be using is too.
4. Ensure your turkey has ample time to thaw if you buy frozen. And dry that bird like it's the only thing keeping the world from catching on fire.
5. Make dishes ahead and reheat.
6. Have another pair of hands or two for the last 40 minutes and make someone else carve the turkey. MFD took care of the potatoes and Debbie helped with dishes and putting food out.
7. Wash and clean as you go, and get rid of as many dishes as you can before anyone arrives.
8. Have an empty dishwasher ready to be filled. You do not want to face clean up with a loaded and full or loaded and clean dishwasher.
9. Purchase Dollar Store tupperware so people can take leftovers home and not steal your precious tupperware.
10. Have fun - it's not supposed to be so stressful that YOU don't enjoy the day.

We didn't need the turkey breast except for leftovers - I like to have enough to send people home with food. We all want Thanksgiving leftovers, don't we?

Are you hosting Thanksgiving? Going somewhere and making a dish? Give me the scoop.

Rustic Tuscan Sausage Soup

Try your hand at this simple, hearty soup. You won't be sorry. Plus I love the word rustic. So play along.

I found the recipe at Feast on the Cheap and modified it to my liking. If you double this, it will feed an army. It freezes well. It's always good to have some soup in the freezer. 

Ingredients

1 lbs. sweet Italian sausage patties

3 carrots, washed well and chopped (I don't peel them) 

1/2 sweet onion, chopped  

2 tbs minced garlic

1/4 cup water

2.5 quarts chicken broth

2 14.5 oz cans diced tomatoes with juice

1 can cannellini beans, drained and rinsed

1 tbs dried basil

8 oz whole wheat shell pasta, uncooked

8 oz spinach leaves (you can use frozen)

salt & pepper to taste

Directions

Brown sausage over med-high heat in the bottom of a large stockpot. Crumble the sausage as you brown it. 

Add the carrots, onion and garlic and saute until tender and starting to turn a bit golden, about 7 minutes. Add water if it starts to get a little dry or too brown.

Add the chicken broth, tomatoes, beans, pasta and basil. Bring to a boil over high heat, then reduce to a simmer. Cover the pot and continue cooking for 7 minutes.

Stir in the spinach and cook until just wilted. Taste and season with salt and pepper.

MFD tops his with parmesan cheese. He likes it. And now Haikuesday:

Rustic sausage soup

Whisks me off to Tuscany.

Airfare is too high.

Congrats to Nadine, winner of the Chloe + Isabel $25 shop credit!

p.s. Tuesday sucks.






Linking up with Blissfully Miller and Let's Get Bananas for

Oops I did it again banana chocolate chip muffins

Saturday morning I was faced with four spotty bananas. I couldn't find my banana bread recipe, so I called on The Dalai Momma because she is The Baking Queen. I secured her new recipe and decided to make muffins instead of bread because I do what I want.

Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins:

1/2 cup butter- melted
1 cup sugar
4 smashed medium bananas
1 tsp vanilla
2 eggs at room temp
1.5 cups flour
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp cinnamon 
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1 tbs mayo
Mini chocolate chips (optional)
Brown sugar mixed with cinnamon for topping (optional)

Preheat oven to 350. Line muffin tins with liners - I got 23 muffins out of this recipe.

Melt the butter in the microwave. Add bananas and smoosh them with a fork. Add vanilla and two eggs. Mix well with a fork. Add dry ingredients, mix with fork until just mixed. Add mayo and mix well.

I added about 1/3 cup mini chocolate chips and stirred again. Fill muffin tins 3/4 full. Top with a dab of brown sugar cinnamon mixture.

Bake for 20 minutes or until an inserted toothpick comes up clean. Viola. You now have

And now for Haikuesday:

Britney Spears hates you.

"You" being Tuesday, of course.

She likes bananas. 

Come back and see me tomorrow for the second group of 18 of 36 Life Realizations.

 
Linking up with Blissfully Miller and Let's Get Bananas for

Deconstructed Chicken Parm

Ingredients
3 chicken breasts, cut into bite sized pieces
Salt & Pepper
Garlic salt
Garlic powder
Dried Oregano
Dried Basil
2.5 cups pasta sauce
1.5-2 cups mozzarella cheese - divided
Parmesan cheese (to taste)
3/4+ of a 5 oz bag of garlic croutons

Directions
Preheat oven to 350 and spray a 13x9 dish with cooking spray.

Chop chicken into bite sized pieces. In a bowl, season with salt, pepper, garlic salt, and garlic powder - just a light misting of all of them. Toss to coat. Lay chicken in a single layer at the bottom of the dish. Sprinkle with oregano and basil.

Spread sauce over the top.

Sprinkle 1 cup of mozzarella cheese evenly over the sauce layer. Give the ol' parmesan a few shakes to your taste.

Put croutons in a gallon ziploc bag and roll over them with a rolling pin. Be sure to leave some big chunks intact. Sprinkle them on top of the cheese layer. If you want more croutons, add more. You're the boss!

Sprinkle remaining 1/2 cup of mozzarella cheese on top - again, use another 1/2 cup if you want because (say it with me) you're the boss!

Bake for 40 minutes and let stand for five minutes before serving.

I serve with lightly sauced pasta and a big ol' salad.

I like chicken parm, but it's not my favorite unless I'm eating it during brunch at Palo on a Disney Cruise Ship. You have never tasted better chicken parm, not even from your Nonna. I promise you.

It is something I'm more apt to order out, cruise ship or not. I never make it at home because I don't feel like dealing with the mess of pounding chicken until they're thin and then egg washing them and coating them etc etc. This dish is a good at home meet in the middle. 

In closing, Haikuesday:

Tuesday surely sucks.
Worse than rat finks for mobsters.
Mangia, mangia, pal.

Come back and see me tomorrow for 18 of the 36 Life Realizations I'll be sharing with you.