Holiday Breaking

No profound statements to leave the year with (I started this post last week) in this post, although I did pull my NYD post from IG over here on the end. Otherwise I'm straight holiday break updating mostly as a reminder to myself of how I floated through the ether of the blurry days between Christmas and back to work on January 3 outside of weekend posts which I did keep up on over Christmas weekend and NY weekend.

WATCHED...as a person who does not watch much and is extremely inconsistent in finishing shows or movies I start, this is my crowning achievement

Baking It Seasons 1 & 2

A Christmas Story Christmas

A Christmas Story

Christmas Vacation

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery

Knives Out

Do Revenge

Succession Seasons 1 & 2

READ

Unnatural History (Alex Delaware #38) by Jonathan Kellerman

Wrong Place Wrong Time by Gillian McAllister

A Familiar Stranger by A.R. Torre

Started and DNF Secluded Cabin Sleeps Six by Lisa Unger

Started We're All Lying by Marie Still

PURGED & ORGANIZED

Linen closet

Nail polish

Two top dresser drawers that had become junk drawers

Christmas items

A bag and a bin that sat in my room for a year

MISC

De-Christmassed the house

Burned through all Christmas candles and resisted urge to replace immediately

Lunch with Melissa, Stephanie, and Stephanie

Long walk in the south end in OC

Booked my plane ticket to Atlanta where I'm seeing Bruce in Feb

Unearthed birth certificate and passport which will make Real ID acquisition and passport renewal much easier

Solar panels installed at shore

Soffit and fascia repaired at shore

Final four windows in the house replaced at the shore (this and the item above save me a trip to small claims court for a Feb court date)

Found out MFD's car is indeed totaled from the accident he was in a few weeks ago

Lots of resting and laying about

A new condo for Billy Cat at the shore since he could not see out of the new door

My top nine of 2022 from Instagram includes a super snowy early January 2022 OCNJ, my 45th birthday, Dana & Alex's wedding, Billy & Kristina's wedding, Sean & Nicole's wedding, rando we out here winter, MFD with Mister Softee, fall of the patriarchy, our 12th anniversary post

My New Year's Day post from  IG too - Plans for 2023: be more open about my love of lemon curd, start over on any thing at any time, do less, sleep in, visit Munich and Italy, travel light in every sense except in what I bring to the table in reciprocal relationships, age well, pick up more beach trash, turn my face toward the sun, read whatever amount of books I read, level up as a feminist killjoy, stop slouching, hear more live music, keep a finger on the pulse of my own energy, and lean in to fun and joy because goddamn life is short and time moves swiftly. Among other things

There are a lot of people out there trying to adjust to the absence of a person, pet, friend, routine, job, a better state of physical or mental health, etc., and new year sentiments can feel like a bunch of bullshit. Every day is the chance to start over, continue healing, make a change, or revisit something. Whether you like to do that with the turn of the year or the turn of a Tuesday, I'm rooting for you to heal, grow, adventure, experience, and lean into joy because our time here is short and no next day is guaranteed for any of us. 

I hope this year is everything you need. Cheers! Happy New Year! 

Happy birthday to my Aunt Sue today!

snippets of the weekend 11.21.2022

Friday lunch monthly wellness massage with Sarah at Blossom Bodywork. My night was not as glam - I got my flu shot, returned something which took me into a dead mall where I saw a sad and lonely Santa and a notepad that made me laugh, a quick Target trip to get that $10 off $40 of food Circle coupon, a run through Aldi for their supreme pizza (you cannot beat the price), stopped at my brother & Aubrey's to pick up the Thanksgiving turkey aka Phoenix according to my niece the turkey namer. Couched it reading until bed.

Saturday was industrious. I sorted clothes and cleared my room while packing for the shore, then did the same for the dining room table and kitchen area. It feels so good to do this even though I am the one who caused both messes in this case. I ran a few errands to return items and of course perused Marshalls/HomeGoods while doing so. At around 1 MFD and I loaded up my car with things and dogs and I headed back to the shore. After unpacking the car I took the best friend dogs to the beach. Salmon and asparagus for dinner and books all night.

I had plans for an industrious Sunday as well, but most things fell to the wayside while I finished a book and started another. I did make it to The Islander on the boardwalk for its last day in existence. I have loved this store my whole life. I am annoyed at people online acting like this is a world event. These people want to retire and after 40+ years of running this store, let's wish them well and let them get on with it. I also picked up a few items from ACME and a few things from the hardware store. I also painted my nails, did the end of the day beach walk with the best friends, and did a facial at night including gua sha to help with my jaw clenching.

We were home by 9 and I was dead asleep on the couch not moving all night by 10. 

weekending reels on Instagram 

Thanksgiving week. I am thankful and I am off. I celebrated by sleeping 10 hours last night!

TWTW - marching in

Friday Despite wanting and needing to end early, I worked until after 5. I unpacked my Sephora birthday gift to self - 40s is serum season, engaged in more birthday behavior by ordering some nail polish from Beyond Polish, and went out for a quick walk on the beach. Leftovers for dinner, reading and lolling around at night. My brain was absolutely exhausted from the week. 

Saturday I slept in until 8:15 and eased into the day with coffee and reading. I cleaned out the bathroom and reorganized shit in there. Naturally most of my sunscreen needs replacing this year, so I made a note of that, then went to the library, dropped donations at the Humane Society (where I saw part of a boardwalk boat), picked a few things up at CVS, and took B&B to the beach where Ben showed off and I had my first shoes off day. In the afternoon I did some shore paperwork, made lists of projects and needs, and chilled.

We went back to the beach for another walk, I had soup for dinner, and finished a book. 

Sunday Another 8:15 wake up. I cleaned the bathroom, did dishes, packed up a lot of winter stuff to take back to Philly, Pulled the light fixture down from the ceiling in the small bath, and pried the last towel bar off minus one screw that is held into the wall with the grace of God and I don't know what the fuck else. I gathered laundry from the main house, took all trash out, emptied the fridge, ran the dishwasher, removed nail polish, packed up the car, waited for a break in the rain to walk the dogs, and headed back to Philly. Lots of lolling around, MFD made salad and rolls and filets for dinner, and he watched something on a Russian who was jailed in Siberia for eternity that made me anxious AF over what his happening there. I got in bed around 10 but like a fool started reading my book in earnest at 11 and stayed up until 1:50 to finish it.

Small bath tile is getting painted at the shore today! I'm as excited about this as a woman in her mid-40s would be. 

Show Us Your Books is tomorrow. See you here for that.

TWTW - the one that was all a blur

Tuesday Christmas Eve I'm starting on Christmas Eve because I do what I want. My mother-in-law arrived for her Christmas stay Monday night. Tuesday morning food prep with my sister in law Mindy followed by traditional framily gathering at Sandy's started by my Dad and his friends.

Annual Christmas Eve gathering at my aunt & uncle's with apps followed by serial killer masking and peppermint tea drinking while MFD and his mom decorated the tree using no red balls because I prohibited them. MFD did the overnight at the homeless shelter as usual and arrived home around 7:30 on Christmas morning.

Wednesday Christmas My nephews were there to open their gifts, and we opened ours after that, then headed to see Lola Jean and Baby Steeeeeeve for a bit and have breakfast sandwiches. MFD went home to sleep and Debbie and I popped in on Mom, Rich, and Sean. 

We got stuff ready for dinner then took a breather. Mark, Sarah, Maureen, Maddi, CJ, and Darwin were there for dinner and desserts. I took no photos but it was a nice relaxing time. Debbie and I masked again and watched Schitts Creek. 

Thursday Debbie and I were at Target early but those aholes didn't have any ball sets for me to buy to better match the living room. Balls. I honestly don't know what I did the rest of the day? Cleaned up? It's a mystery. Oh, MFD's Gram, Uncle, cousin and her boyfriend came to visit in the afternoon. And I watched more Outlander with my mother in law while MFD went to mummery. Again, like no photos. There was some resting at some points. 

Friday I made a bunch of turkey burgers to freeze for lunches and for my mother in law to take home and jalapeno/banana pepper dip to take to Mom's. We went to Mom & Rich's for pizza and post-Christmas visiting, then to Marshalls to replace kitchen towels and get a new table runner. It was time on both.

Saturday Turned some unused space into usable space. Disregard the nail holes and the paint job that's needed and let me live. I also ordered front door paint and new flooring for the entry, washed new kitchen towels and put them out. My MIL left and I purged a lot of the utility closet and cleared up the basement bookshelves, put most of Christmas away (the rest will wait until after most of the remaining basement work gets done because it goes down there), dropped some donations off, caught a nice parking lot sunset while I picked up paint and paint chips, had pumpkin pie for dinner while watching the office, and painted the already primed bathroom door. 

Sunday More purging and organizing in the basement (including mostly emptying the utility closet so some work can be done in there Tuesday), laundry, changed sheets, changed shower curtain liner and washed the curtain, finished a book and started another, and puttered around putting shit to rights. Not really photographable items.

Weekly food prep: Nope. I did receive groceries for NYE meal (wings in the air fryer, crab legs, shrimp, mozzarella sticks, pizza bites, a dessert I still need to figure out) and NYD meal (pork loin, sauerkraut, mashed potatoes, corn). Leftovers after that. I'm also making breakfast burritos tomorrow to freeze since I'm off. Maybe power breakfast muffins too, I haven't decided yet.

Hope you had an awesome Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza/Solstice/Weekend. 

If you missed it, I shared my top favorite reads of 2019 on Friday. 

I'm super pumped to close this year out with much less STUFF in my house than just three weeks ago. My mind is already clearer, which is never a bad place to be. Even MFD sees the light on how much better it feels with less shit that's not used laying around. 

Happy happy birthday to my friend Angie today! Love you!

Working from home today to close out the work year and the goal is email inbox zero. Let's do this.

TWTW - the productive yet relaxing one

Friday I had acupuncture at the end of the day and went home to chill the F out all night. It was great. I had a super simple dinner of argula and spinach salad and cacio e pepe, had some tea, and watched Schitts Creek.

Saturday I meant to sleep in but Gus had a poop problem and the dogs knocked over my bedside water glass, lamp, and phone, so I was up and moving by 7. I put away a load of towels and two loads of clothes, did another load of towels, cleaned out the fridge, emptied the dishwasher, cleared the living room cart of all the shit that has accumulated on it over the past year, and got a visit from my mom who came bearing pastries. Saturday afternoon was Annabelle's first birthday where it was nice to catch up with a lot of people I haven't seen since Catie & Joe's wedding in April, then on to Aldi. I was supposed to go there Friday night and should have because it was insane. I lolled around on the couch and read and watched Schitts Creek, MFD had an aborted mission to a mummery gig due to a car fire on 95. I made a nice rib eye with potatoes and green beans and sat my ass on the couch. I also talked on the phone twice! To Laura both times, but still. LOL

Sunday I slept in until 8:30, packed shore towels up to go back there, changed and washed sheets, went to Produce Junction, put away the shit that gets sent to the basement to get put away but just sits there for a while, organized Christmas gifts, ordered the gifts we do for Santa's Family organized by our friends at McCarthy Real Estate, photographed and listed some things to sell on FB, did the weekly food prep, went through a year of magazines, did a hair and face mask, did some work, and painted my nails (Zoya Aubrey + OPI Meet Me on the Star Ferry). I was feeling well prepared for the week by 3 pm. I closed out the day watching CSI season one episodes - man, that was a good show - and working from 8-10. 

Weekly food prep: Breakfasts are hard boiled eggs with power breakfast muffins. Snacks are oranges and celery and PB. Lunches were going to be chicken salad over spinach but I have too many leftovers so they have to go as lunch first. Sunday dinner was caesar salad with crusty italiaan bread/hard salami/mozzarella/green olives. I also made enchilada pasta to use up some enchilada sauce I had frozen (there's enough in my freezer for it to look like I was opening a restaurant) with zucchini and bell peppers from the air fryer + black olives and a can of tomatoes with diced green chiles.

I'm feeling a little better about my life after getting some shit purged and in order this weekend

Keep the Stress of Moving Down

Moving...just the word strikes fear in the hearts of many. If you have a home/apartment move coming up, you are likely experiencing some kind of stress around it. If you're not, it's possible you are living in ignorant bliss because after all, moving is one of the most stressful times in life. The top five most stressful life events include death of a loved one, divorce, moving, major illness or injury, and job loss. So moving is serious business and it's something you usually want to be done as quickly and painlessly as possible in order to carry on and be able to enjoy the home a little more. But unfortunately we can't jump right to the end, so we need to work on keeping stress levels down through the process.  As long as you can do that, the whole thing will seem much easier, so let's get right to how we might do that.

Give it Time

It's always going to be helpful if you can allow yourself plenty of time for the move. Timing of moving is often a slippery bugger dependent on houses closing or apartments being available or leases ending. That doesn't mean you can't do as much as you can in preparation. Purge your belongings. Pack what you don't use daily or weekly. Label boxes well. Do a little every night so you don't feel overwhelmed. Try to find some joy in it for what it is - you can take stock of what you have and what you no longer need and maybe move on to your next place a little lighter. 

Find Some Help

Who wants to do a move all by themselves? No one. There's always help to be had but you need to ask for it or go in search of it. That help could be in the form of some professional movers or just your friends and family (and for heaven's sake if someone offers to help you you say YES). I think the last time we moved I said I was never doing it myself again, but don't we always say these things? Watch I'll be doing it on my own and begging everyone I know for help next time. ANYWAY in either case, hiring or begging, it will be a tremendous help to have others with you and the actual process of moving will go much quicker. 

Plan It Well

I alluded to planning somewhat in the time section above but to plan well, you need to think about every blessed thing and make sure you have it all prepared long before the date of the move itself. Do you have boxes and tape and markers and stuff to wrap your breakables in? How and when are going to move your pets? Do you know where you'll be donating things (check out Vietnam Vets or similar to pick donations up from your house so you don't have to make a lot of trips)? Are you timing your move preparation work so you hit the days your trash gets picked up for anything that is not a donation? Do you have a truck rented or movers hired?  Make a list, check it twice, and go over the logistics to make it as easy as possible on yourself. 

What's your best moving strategy? Do you have one coming up?

Introspection via the closet cleanout

When it hit the shelves a few years back, I didn't read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. I thought I already purge my belongings regularly, I don't need to try another way. I still haven't read it and don't plan to, but I got the gist of it and confidently said NO THANKS for a few years. I was wrong.

Some behaviors that were holding me back:

1. By going through either one season of clothing or one spot (closet, dresser, etc) at a time and storing things in different rooms, I was never getting the full picture of what I had. I was forgetting about stuff and buying things I didn't need.
2. By not going into purging with the mindset of only keeping what I truly loved or items that were utilitarian, I was never paring down. There were too many things I'd put on and take off immediately for one reason or another but still keep. So I'd keep buying things I shouldn't buy to plug wardrobe holes I actually didn't have.
3. I was still buying freely. It doesn't matter how much you get rid of if you don't stop the flow of items into your life. And if you don't think about what's coming in and what you're consuming and the rate at which you're consuming, you're definitely not thinking about textile waste and where these clothes that are often fast fashion that don't last more than a year in your life are ending up.We shouldn't be buying things just to buy them and we shouldn't be getting rid of things just to get rid of them. The second is taken care of if we can manage the first.
4. I thumbed my nose at the Konmari folding method.

Those things, combined with not being as diligent about managing my belongings since we bought the shore house in 2015, had me bowing under the weight of things. It isn't as easy for me to manage two households as I thought it would be and each year I am less interested in managing life here since I'd rather live at the shore. Not coincidentally, one of the things I like best about my time at the shore is living with less - I have no hanging room there and can keep limited clothing, my living space in season at least is extremely small...yet I'm happier there. With less. Living smaller. Spending my time living instead of managing stuff. At home I was wearing clothes, doing laundry, and then wearing those same clothes again. If I sort of liked something, I bought it without thinking about if I loved it or would use it. What I owned grew more in the last three years than it ever has in my adult life. I would do a bit of purging here and there, but I was not digging into it like I used to.

Last year with managing rentals solo while a campaign raged here at home then transitioning right into working on that campaign after the shore season was over and going full speed until November was the tipping point. I was mentally and emotionally drained from the entire year. I was also physically tired, but more than that I felt physically weighted down by stuff. Stuff stuff stuff. I was sick of stuff. That made me sick too. Such a privilege to be sick of stuff, a privilege to have too many things when so many people have nothing.

I started thinking about what I wanted out of this year, and on the last day of 2018 I shared it here: What's the plan for 2019? Be happy, be solvent, consume less resources and things, work for a better world, and mind my energy. If I had to boil it down to a phrase it might be consume less, be more. That all still stands, except I've added live smaller and own less, which are related but more articulated.

I knew I had to get rid of things to remove that weighted down feeling, but that getting rid of stuff without changing my mindset of mindless buying would only ensure that I ended up with too much again a few months down the road and that I continued to contribute to clothing waste that is a huge problem in the world right now. That's not what this is about. That would be grossly wasteful and flippant and not in line at all with my plan for living small and consuming less.

Saturday I took every single piece of clothing I own and put it out in the spare bedroom. Holy shit. I was horrified at the amount of stuff, embarrassed to have so much I don't use or need when so many people have so little, trying not to think about the money I've wasted on shit that was sort of okay, sick over all of it, and eager to make it go away.

Eight hours later I had half set aside to donate or sell. Of that half, there's not one piece I wavered on. I could probably stand to let go of some more, and I'll be using a system to see what gets worn and what doesn't. For the first time in the almost 10 years we've been in this house, all of my hanging clothes are in one closet and all of my folded clothes of all seasons are in one room, all visible at the same time. Nothing stored in the spare room. I can see everything and there's not so much of it that I don't know what I have and don't have. I agree with Marie...that does feel life changing. I have drawers that are empty and the four fabric bins that used to have clothes in them are no longer necessary. I was wrong about the folding too - I can do the folds, and it works even when they're not perfect.

I kept saying why the fuck did I keep this? The answer was clear quickly. I love color and pattern, and I was buying things because I loved the color but never wore them because the fit or material was just okay. It's like I was scared I'd never find another item in that color I loved so much so I bought an item that I didn't love overall and let it sit in my closet. When I would purge, I'd be like oh but it's the only thing I have of that color so I'll keep it until I find something else. Meanwhile I was never wearing that - no reason to keep it. It's nuts. It's a mindset that I'm now aware of and will be mindful of in the future.

I didn't take true before and afters, but here's my donate or thred up and sell piles (they're propped up by baskets so not as big as they look but they are big).

The closet full of dresses I've been holding onto forever and the dresses I kept.

This amount of stuff feels more manageable. I am secure in my mindset to own less, think before buying, and buy clothes from companies who pay a living wage to their workers and are investing in sustainable fashion. Will I be perfect in that quest? No. But I'm sure as hell going to try. And I'm never letting my clothing get so out of control again.

TWTW - the one to kick off December

Friday I worked from home and blew my nose 472983048 times. MFD took some stuff down the shore to his mom and cleaned out our fridges. He did some mummery at night and then we watched The Shape of Water and discussed changing around the living room. I took advantage of the 70% off Wayfair sale and an assload of reward points I had saved up there to order a new area rug, lamps, and TV stand. 

Saturday was nails (Sally Hansen Insta-Dri in Blink Pink), then a pantry clean out and reorganization with a new lunch station installed on top (need to contact paper that top shelf, whew), some cabinet purging, scheduling a donation pickup for next weekend, a trip to Sherwin Williams to get paint samples and Lou's for veggies, playing in the yard with los perros, cleaning up the flower beds and leaves out front, some Christmas decorating, and about a half hour of rest on the couch that was hard to get up from.

But get up we did to head over to NJ to attend Jenn's surprise 40th Christmas spectacular. It was a lot of fun - it can't not be fun if cutouts are involved, can it?

Sunday was loungey until about noon, then I got food prep and laundry going and continued purging. I even got MFD involved with getting rid of all of his papers and shit in the basement when he got home from mummery. After Christmas we're full speed ahead moving things around and making spaces useful so until then we'll be purging and organizing which we've been ignoring for a lot of the year. Sunday night I watched the entire first season of Camping on HBO. I haven't watched a show in forever. 

Weekly food prep breakfast is scrambled eggs over broccoli. Lunch (not pictured) is spinach salads, snacks are kiwi and cheese. Dinner Sunday was kielbasa with roasted vegetables. Leftovers and chicken enchiladas as the week progresses. I also made lemon blueberry protein muffins (Kodiak mix) and my power breakfast muffins to freeze. 

December. I can't believe we're at the end of this year but I can't say I'm sad about it. Today the water gets shut off at the shore house and we close her up for winter. I'll still be making at least one more trip this year to pick stuff up and I'll probably take Bruce so he can go on the beach. 

How was your weekend?