Friday Files 1.20.2023

I went to our new office location in Old City Wednesday and I freaking love it down there. So much easier to get in and out of the city, plentiful and cheaper parking, a much better vibe, lots of new restaurants to try, right near Congress Hall, etc. 

Getting my poop in a pile for February and I'm surprised I have so much on the calendar. That is usually not the case. 

Shore contracts are finally done for the summer. My least favorite part is paperwork. We only have Memorial Day weekend open. I'm looking forward to a great year if I could get the fucking main floor flooring situation figured out.

The Simple Modern 40 oz cup is superior to the Stanley in every way. The lid! Chef's kiss. I think the Stanley is awkward AF and the lid is hideous.

Tough reading week this week. I had a DNF and a struggle read. I think I'm coming through the other side now.

Fuck Sephora and their return policy. I'm finished with them. 

Pet pics of the week. Billy Hicks says fuck y'all no photos please

OPI Rated Pea-G & Zoya Amara. Very Eagles-y, no? Go Birds.

Happy Friday! Have a good weekend!

10 ways I prepare for a less stressful December

December is by and large the word I hate to use to describe myself or life in general: busy. I have issues with the concept of busy-ness that people hold up like a badge of honor that I would really prefer be more of a scarlet letter but there is no getting around that some seasons in life are more packed than others.

December is a busy time for me at work, as I'm sure it is for many of you. Add in the holiday things to do and be at plus the fact that Christmas is not my favorite season in general and if I don't prepare well I can end up hating December. And that's no way to end a year. As I've gotten older I've been more aware of how to better prepare myself for these seasons, and these are some of the things I do to make December as stress-free and enjoyable as possible.

1. Order cards in the beginning of November. I mail my cards the day before Thanksgiving, so they need to be ordered by the beginning of November.

2. Use my google tools. Google keep for list making, Google calendar so MFD and I who are rarely in the same place can see what the other person has going on and if we need to be at any of those places, and google photos to share pics with people of holiday stuff.

3. Finish Christmas-related shopping by December 1, including charitable donations and shift personal shopping habits. There is nothing that ruins my mood more than being in packed stores full of stressed out shoppers. Having my charitable donations and budget figured out early also ensures that I get things where they need to be on time. Over the years I've also severely narrowed who I buy for and what I buy them. I do not want to crap up anyone's life with stuff they don't want or need and I'm not into exchanging gifts with everyone under the sun or doing gift swaps or anything like that. I also shift my personal shopping habits for groceries and household essentials: I love holiday hours because I will be there at 10:30 pm picking up toilet paper in order to avoid the crowds. I will also order things like that more for delivery.

4. Relieve myself of the idea of doing it all and being everywhere. It's not ever happening, in the holiday season or otherwise. Before you expect that of yourself or someone else in regards to making everything happen or being at all events, stop. It's not fair to hold yourself to an impossible standard and it's an asshole move to press someone else to be and do in order to meet your expectations that will deplete their personal gas tank. Really. Stop it.

5. Remember that I, too, have been a rude asshole in public. Sometimes you catch people on a bad day. I'm not going to let their bad day ruin mine, and I also should not crucify them because I have been a rude asshole also, whether I knew it at the time or not.

6. Clean out the coat closet. I ensure that we have what we need winter wear-wise, and it's a good opportunity to donate any gently used items to populations that need them more than the one time a month they might be worn by us.

7. Purge and cook through the freezer and pantry. I make space and make sure I'm using everything plus I see what ingredients I need to buy for holiday gatherings.

8. Set up a gift station. I set aside a place in my basement to put Christmas gifts so they're all in one place and I always know what I have. This keeps me organized and prevents over-buying.

9. Put winter stuff in the car. Scraper, extra pair of gloves and knit hat...in hopes that one year I will actually have those things in the car BEFORE I need them and am not cleaning off from the first unexpected snow/ice event with a piece of paper MFD left in the backseat and a credit card.

10. Stock my essentials. This includes homemade elderberry extract (I use this recipe sans brandy) that I take daily, local honey, peppermint tea, magnesium and vitamin D supplements, and 49897482497 mistletoe-ish scented candles.

TL; DR: get what I've chosen as must do shit done before December even starts to make space and time for things I will enjoy. What do you do to make December less stressful for yourself?

Keep the Stress of Moving Down

Moving...just the word strikes fear in the hearts of many. If you have a home/apartment move coming up, you are likely experiencing some kind of stress around it. If you're not, it's possible you are living in ignorant bliss because after all, moving is one of the most stressful times in life. The top five most stressful life events include death of a loved one, divorce, moving, major illness or injury, and job loss. So moving is serious business and it's something you usually want to be done as quickly and painlessly as possible in order to carry on and be able to enjoy the home a little more. But unfortunately we can't jump right to the end, so we need to work on keeping stress levels down through the process.  As long as you can do that, the whole thing will seem much easier, so let's get right to how we might do that.

Give it Time

It's always going to be helpful if you can allow yourself plenty of time for the move. Timing of moving is often a slippery bugger dependent on houses closing or apartments being available or leases ending. That doesn't mean you can't do as much as you can in preparation. Purge your belongings. Pack what you don't use daily or weekly. Label boxes well. Do a little every night so you don't feel overwhelmed. Try to find some joy in it for what it is - you can take stock of what you have and what you no longer need and maybe move on to your next place a little lighter. 

Find Some Help

Who wants to do a move all by themselves? No one. There's always help to be had but you need to ask for it or go in search of it. That help could be in the form of some professional movers or just your friends and family (and for heaven's sake if someone offers to help you you say YES). I think the last time we moved I said I was never doing it myself again, but don't we always say these things? Watch I'll be doing it on my own and begging everyone I know for help next time. ANYWAY in either case, hiring or begging, it will be a tremendous help to have others with you and the actual process of moving will go much quicker. 

Plan It Well

I alluded to planning somewhat in the time section above but to plan well, you need to think about every blessed thing and make sure you have it all prepared long before the date of the move itself. Do you have boxes and tape and markers and stuff to wrap your breakables in? How and when are going to move your pets? Do you know where you'll be donating things (check out Vietnam Vets or similar to pick donations up from your house so you don't have to make a lot of trips)? Are you timing your move preparation work so you hit the days your trash gets picked up for anything that is not a donation? Do you have a truck rented or movers hired?  Make a list, check it twice, and go over the logistics to make it as easy as possible on yourself. 

What's your best moving strategy? Do you have one coming up?

Calling All Campers

Happy Labor Day! I hope you are not laboring today, unless it's laboring over planning your next break. We're at the shore all week, which is now a staycation for us, doing some work on the house after the end of weekly rental season and doing some vacationy type things too. A book I read recently had me thinking about camping though. I haven't been in many many years, and aside from the wall of Daddy Long Legs near the bathroom, I really liked it and I'd do it again.

via

Is it for you?

Almost anyone can camp. Except people alone. I've seen the movies and read the books and you have too. No, go alone if you're on a vision quest but like many things, there's safety in numbers and camping is safer when you’re with other people. If you have specific health requirements, you might want to skip it also. Tents aren’t the most luxurious of accommodation options and might not fit your needs. However, if you need a comfortable bed to sleep in at night and constant access to individual electrical outlets, you don't have to cross camping off your list entirely. You can always consider glamping, which is specialist camping at set sites that are more accommodating to more people. I would totally try glamping.

Where to?

The first step is deciding where you want to camp. Do you want to head to a campsite with showers and electricity? Or do you want to head a little further out into the wilderness? Wherever you decide to camp, make sure you have permission and that it isn’t somewhere dangerous. Some spots can have dangerous ground or wildlife. Always seek permission and do your research first. 

What you Need

You’ll have to invest for your first camping trip, picking up essentials like a tent, a camping mattress, and a sleeping bag. You may also want to pick up other items that will make life easier for you, like a mallet to push tent pegs in, microfiber towels that pack away lightly, tin cups to drink from, and other bits and bobs. Remember you can use all of these items tor all eternity once you have them. When we went camping the last time we borrowed a lot of stuff from more well equipped friends and that worked too. 

Packing 

Consider walking boots, a good quality waterproof coat, plenty of pairs of socks and hats. Clothes depend on the season, of course. And the basics: your toiletries, sunscreen, insect repellent and a topical antihistamine in case you get bit by something, hand sanitizer, first aid kit, toilet paper!!!

Skill Show

When you go camping, you may find yourself in situations that you don’t face on a day to day basis. That's much more challenging than sitting on the beach, and that appeals to me. You’ll need to be able to pitch a tent, cook food on a portable stove, and start and extinguish a campfire safely. You will also need basic survival knowledge, such as avoiding rivers and wearing shoes at all times in order to prevent yourself stepping on sharp matter. We've all seen Naked and Afraid, right? Shoes matter. 

As with everything, the better prepared you are, the better time you’ll have.

Happy birthday to Mark today - he was on the last camping trip I went on over 15 years ago. LOL

Are you a camper? Any tips to add? 

Hidden wedding costs

While I remember looking forward to my wedding day, I also remember looking forward to it being over so I didn't have to worry about any more small costs I hadn't thought about enough ahead of time.

Planning your perfect for you wedding day takes a lot of foresight and a can take lot of money, both of which are likely to stress people out. When it comes to planning every aspect of your big day, there are main costs such as the venue, photographer, DJ, food & bev, flowers, and dress/suit; and then there are costs you might not immediately consider which you need to take into account. 

The Rings

Am I the only one who was like oh...we need wedding rings as we got closer? It may seem like an obvious cost to remember, but with the nuptial planning added on top of regular life stuff, it was easy for me to overlook this essential step in the process. Wedding rings are of course an important thing to buy for your big day and they will be a piece of jewelry you wear for the rest of your life if you are like people other than me - over nine years in and I don't wear any rings at all.  I do think your wedding band should reflect you (and not wearing one reflects me, so I'm still down with that), so it's a good idea to explore designs and find some stylish handcrafted rings - put it on your list now and work it into your budget. I ended up spending less than $200 on mine, and I wore that for less than two years. Then I went to a $30 cheap band that I wore for a few years before just not wearing them for years now. I want to like rings but I feel claustrophobic. MFD's cost a little more and he's always worn it (except the few times he's lost it and refound it) but it reflects him well. Search and budget!

Decorations 

Contrary to what you may believe, many venues do not provide you with decorations to make your wedding day special. When it comes to decorating your venue, this can include anything from chair and table cloths and ribbons, gemstones, flowers, candles, and centerpieces too. It will all depend on the theme you are going for, and you can often find some great inspiration for wedding decorations on Pinterest to give you an idea of the supplies you will need to gather. I kept ours super minimal, the decor was the beach setting. I had to pay extra for linen table cloths though and that was unexpected. Make sure you read the fine print of your venue contract before signing it.

Postage 

One of the costs which no one ever really considers when planning a wedding is stamps. Stamps get more and more expensive every year, and even if you don’t need to send many invitations through the mail, you need to budget for this cost. Invitations, envelopes and stamps will all cost a pretty penny depending on how many guests you invite to the wedding so make sure that you take this into account. And don't forget you've got the invite postage and the RSVP postage. 

Wedding Dress Alterations

Finding the perfect wedding dress is important to many brides (again, I'm not in this category - I tried on two maybe? And my aunts bought it for me). Depending on when you buy your wedding dress in the lead up to your wedding day, there may be several alterations which need to be done to make it fit like a glove. If you're on a wedding health kick you might need to take in the dress more than once if you buy it far enough off your date. Make sure you find a good seamstress if you're going outside your bridal shop and get on her schedule! In my experience alterations are much cheaper outside the bridal shop. 

Transport

On the day of the wedding, there are a lot of logistics in play, and one of these is the transport for the groomsmen and bridal party to the venue itself. Get your quotes early and ask people you know who they can recommend. Try to  find the best deals you can for this, and even try to negotiate a bundle deal if you hire multiple vehicles from one company.

Hotel rooms 

Don't forget about accommodations if you're staying at or close to the wedding venue in lieu of going home that night. If you're getting married inside a hotel, this is super convenient and it means that you can head up to bed after the night is over and sleep off the busyness of the day (week, really, let's be honest) without thinking about getting home. 

Favors

Wedding favors are a huge thing for you to consider when planning your wedding, and they will be something you can really make personal for your guests. A wedding favor is a small token to say thank you to your guests for coming to the wedding and sharing in your special day. There are lots of options you can choose for gifts but make sure to think about the best way to save money on this too. Including not to have favors at all because people don't need them and often throw them out. 

What were some costs you forgot to factor in as you approached your wedding? 

Four Things to Plan Ahead for This Year

Now that we're in the full swing of the new year, our attentions are hopefully not be solely on resolutions that we don’t plan on sticking to, and more on where the next 12 months will take us. If you've read here for any amount of time, you know I prefer planning over spontaneity in general, but especially in situations where I want some more control-of timing, expenses, all of the above... planning helps me make the most of my time. Here are four of the things to plan ahead for to help you get started with making this year count.

Plan ahead for potential issues

We can’t predict when things are going to go wrong, but we can plan ahead for the potential problems we know may occur. For example, summer will be here soon enough, and if you have an old air conditioning unit like me, you can bring someone in HVAC in to check it before summer starts because an engineer may be able predict when you may need an air condition repair, or service it right there. I don't know about you, but the last thing I want is for the AC not to work on the hottest day of the year. You can also plan ahead for  to check your heating system in advance of winter, get your appliances serviced if they give any indication they might need it so that you're not without a fridge, freezer, or washing machine. While these things may still break even if they are checked over, if you do what you can to avoid it, at least you tried. 

Plan your vacations and time off

You know what I love doing? Looking at the whole year as a blank canvas. It gets filled with work days, of course. After that, what to do with it? It gets filled with days with your family and friends, weekend plans and such, so the best time to set aside time for vacation is EARLY. This gives you a chance to book things properly (our shore house always starts booking the fall before for the next year, so I am not alone in this thinking) and make some real memories with the ones that matter. Booking vacations in advance gives you the chance to budget and plan for the spending that may occur. Not to mention having something to look forward to. We all need that, right?

Plan for birthdays and festivities

I know that we're still recovering from the festive season but there's no harm in starting to put plans in place for next Christmas and Thanksgiving that will be coming our way faster than we know it. Maybe this will be the year you plan to buy gifts throughout the year instead of leaving it to the last minute. You might still pick up bargains now in terms of decorations for next year. Birthday-wise, you can plan to buy cards in advance, have gifts stored and ready, and just be ahead of the game with it. You might take some stress off of yourself. 

Plan your day to day routine 

I am a huge proponent of planning your day. I do a weekly meal plan so I know what's to eat that day. I'm also a fan of a cleaning schedule to help me stay on track of house upkeep, the most important part of that being the Daily Dos. A great way to plan your day is to write a list each day of the things you want to do - I typically start that the day before and right now I'm keeping running daily lists separated by day on Google Keep. Planning helps me be more productive and efficient - despite planning being largely about to dos, it actually helps the most in ensuring that I have downtime and time to do what I want.  

I hope these tips help you to plan ahead for your year!

6 Considerations for Planning a Kitchen Remodel

This post was contributed by Tali Wee of Zillow.com. I was not compensated for this post. 

Kitchen remodels are one of the most expensive and tricky home improvement projects to conquer. To ensure the final product meets the homeowner’s goals and expectations, preparation is important. Here are some tips on how to ensure that the renovation runs smoothly.

1.       Be Reasonable

Indulging in outrageously expensive appliances and the highest quality countertops isn’t necessary. If renovating on a strict budget, allocate finances for unexpected costs that may come up during renovation. There could be serious plumbing and electric problems that need to be addressed prior to finishing out the space.

2.       Be Modest

Don’t tackle every trend all at once. It is important to maintain a somewhat neutral look so the space can adapt to new styles over time. For example, interested in the popular chevron pattern? Skip painting the whole kitchen in zigzags and choose one accent wall for a funky twist.

3.       Focus on Lighting

Culinary master or not, a kitchen needs ample lighting. Recessed bulbs are a great choice for delivering abundant light without the clutter of fixtures, but consider more focused fixtures for specific lighting. Contemplate under-cabinet task lights to brighten workspace countertops. Homeowners who plan to use the kitchen as a dining area, dimmer switches are highly recommended. They can transform the ambiance from workspace to intimate eatery in seconds.

4.       Remember Convenience

Alter the space to fit the needs of the homeowners. A family of eight, for example, probably wants to invest in a larger fridge than two newlyweds. Some pet owners may even want to purchase built-in gates to keep their furry friends away from the dining area. While customization is important, don’t go overboard. Keep in mind that highly specified upgrades can negatively affect the real estate resale value.

5.       Indulge in Counter Space

Islands are great for providing extra workspace in the kitchen. They can also be used as a seating area for a quick breakfast or afternoon snack. Determine the size and functionality of the island before making final plans. Oversized islands can obstruct the workspace and make the kitchen appear smaller.

6.       Don’t Forget Personalized Details

Add some flair to the space by choosing a unique tile for the backsplash. Depending on the style of the kitchen and home as a whole, creative backsplashes are a great way to subtly add personality to the space. A downtown loft may benefit from brick while a traditional suburban home might look better using old-fashioned tiles. No matter the selection, steer clear of anything too porous, as sauce splatters can seep into the crevices of certain stones and make it almost impossible to clean.

While mistakes happen on occasion, most can be avoided with proper planning. Use these tips to ensure that a kitchen remodel benefits the current and future homeowners for the best return for the financial investment.

Tali Wee - Zillow.com