I love it. I don't love it.

Back in aught '02 Nadine tagged in me Love/Hate tag. I don't like tag. I mean, it involves running and I've been pretty clear about the fact that I don't run. However, I do like lists and since I'm very opinionated I have a lot of things I love and a lot of things I don't. Easy as pie. Here we go.  If you're so inclined, please give me your own version of this list in the comments - I like to see what makes the love it/don't lists of others.

1. Reading. I'd rather read a book than do almost anything else.

2. Travelling. The majority of my mad money goes into a travel fund. This desire to go and see and do is a huge part of who I am. I'm glad to have a partner who feels the same.

3. Not giving a fuck. Does this require further explanation? If so, it can sort of be summed up by saying/doing/feeling/thinking what I want and not feeling guilt about not doing something the world wants or expects from me, or doing something the world frowns upon. It feels like freedom and tastes like pink starburst.

4. Sunglasses. I'm pretty sure I wear them more than I don't. Nothing can ruin my day faster than no access to sunglasses.

5. Functioning within a routine. I like knowing what's coming.

6. Convenience - Exhibit A - Amazon Prime. If I own it or use it, there's an 88% chance it was ordered on Amazon and I got it within two days and more and more on the same day or by the next day. Exhibit B - Grocery delivery. I don't know why I resisted this for so long, as if I was a champion grocery picker and no one could do it as good as I could. Spoiler: they can and they do.

7. Coffee and the mugs it lives in. I love love love it. If you follow me on Instagram, you know it's true.

8. Laughing. It's my favorite. I'm quick to laugh at things, even things that I maybe shouldn't laugh at. Laughing makes me feel awesome. And it's free.

9. Being beside the sea. I feel like my best self near the ocean.

10. The obvious. How to choose the last? By listing things I've stated my love for many times, of course. Is this cheating, to bang off much-discussed loves in the final entry? I don't care. I make the rules here. So: Lists. Dirty Dancing. Sunrises. Bruce Springsteen. Cooking. Quotes. Nail polish. Organizing. Trying new restaurants. Fresh sheets. The Breakfast Club. Beverly Hills 90210.

1. Poor grammar. I can get down with slang terms and sentence structure gone awry in conversational writing. Go ahead and end your sentences with a preposition, I don't mind. I'm not grammatically perfect but I try. I think it's the not caring or the hurry to get stuff across that kills me. Take your time! Think about which word to use: their/they're/there. it's/its and to/two/too. Can I also use this time to bring this up? It's used to and supposed to, not use to and suppose to. Don't even get me started on the misuse of apostrophes. We'll be here all day and into the next. 

2. Dog hair. I've learned to live with it. I do not love it. Not even a little bit.

3. Waiting. For anything, anywhere. In lines, for something to arrive, for an answer, for Godot, for something to finish cooking or drying or whatever, for vacation to get here, for a show to return, for a book to come in at the library. I hate waiting and am the worst waiter in the history of waiting. 

4. Whining. Stop. No one curr. 

5. Multi-media. If you want to see me absolutely lose my shit, play a video on your phone when I can hear the TV or radio. Multimedia turns me into Hulk Smash. One noise producing thing at a time. Ask MFD how often I freak out about this. Then ask why he still plays videos when something else is on knowing certain death awaits. 

6. Chipped nails. When my nails are chipped in a trashy sort of way, I feel terrible about myself. 

7. Counting other people's money and how they spend it. Unless someone's hitting you up for money, constantly complaining to you about money, or owes you money, it's not your business. We all spend differently. Don't worry about it. And don't have ideas about what people should and shouldn't pay for if they make more than you. It's gross and ill-mannered.

8. Entitlement. It's a cancerous thought process. You are not entitled to anything you didn't work for and you don't deserve things or special treatment just because of who you are. Get over yourself. 

9. Small talk. I'm not good at it. 

10. Being patronized. Just don't. Or I'll hand you your ass on a platter in return. 

Lay your loves and don't loves on me like Brett Michaels lays product on his luscious locks. 

Good for you. I mean it.

Are you on an awesome vacation? Did you just get a new car? Have you gone up the career ladder? Are you purchasing a second home? Has an amazing opportunity come your way? Have you been working hard on your health and fitness? Did you overcome an obstacle? Have you improved your skills in one of your hobbies? Did you finally purchase something insanely expensive you've been saving for? Have you found love? Did you strive towards a personal goal and meet it? Did something finally click for you?

Good for you. I mean it.

There are a lot of people who seem supportive of others...until people reach a level that surpasses them. Some people can't stand to have someone that's not them excel. It sets their hearts on fire with insecurity and jealousy. They suddenly have things to say or do to subtly (or not so subtly) lessen someone's achievements, to make them question themselves or make them feel oddly guilty or wrong for being successful. You know these people - the ones who are always out there knocking people down a few pegs like it's their job. Talking out of the other side of their mouths to remind you that that successful person is not perfect. No shit, Sherlock. None of us are.

I'm not one of those people. I have many faults but this is not one of them. I'm straight up and real with people, but I don't want anyone around me to fail or feel shitty about themselves. I really love watching other people shine. I don't see the point in not hoping everyone can be the best person they can be, to have all the things they dream of in their heart of hearts. Making other people feel small doesn't make me feel better about myself, it makes me feel like an asshole. If you've surpassed me in an area of life, I don't need to bring you back down to my level to remind you that you're not as good as you think you are. What is the point of that? There are enough people out there who will rain on your parade and look for the one bad thing among all the good things to criticize. I'd rather be the one saying you go girl! I do my best to come from a place of encouragement. In writing this, I'm not looking for a pat on the back. I'm looking to recruit you to join me in the encourager ranks if you're not already there.

I don't even care if someone's success seems sudden or easy, because I know from personal experience that no success is sudden or easy. I don't know how much a success means to someone so there's no way I'm going to act like I know if they deserve it or not. I don't know how hard you work because I'm not you. I do know that every person's story has mistakes and missteps whether I've seen them or not.

Every one of us has found ourselves in a long, dark tunnel that feels like we'll never again emerge into the light of day. We don't usually publish the struggles and if we do we don't always say how much those struggles have cut us to the bone. Struggles live in shadowy recesses inside of us and have doors only those in our closest circle can enter to bear witness to our pain, shame, and strife. I don't need to see what you've been through to appreciate that you're now on the top of whatever mountain you've been climbing. I don't want to kick you back down a few hundred yards so you can satisfy some measurement of hard work or success that lives inside of my head. I want to be the hand that reaches down and pulls you up if you've run out of gas at the end.

I don't want you to downplay your successes for my sake or anyone else's. It's not right to dull your shine. If good things are happening to you and for you, enjoy them. Don't worry about what people say or who thinks you deserve it. Wasting time worrying about that kind of stuff distracts you from moving forward and continuing on your journey. You don't have time for it.

So keep going. Reach higher. Go out and get what you want. Be happy and proud. Don't listen to the voices that try to take the wind out of your sails, and when you do hear them, know that there are others like me out there cheering you on. There's no limit to the amount of people that can be happy and successful. I'm not interested in competing. I hope we all make it. I hope you hope that too.

A very happy birthday to my good friend and fellow encourager Gena down in Alabama.

Show Us Your Books: What I Read in June

It's that time again, book nerds - the Show Us Your Books linkup with me and Jana of Jana Says! Please extend some decorum and try to visit and comment with both of your hosts, Jana & me, as well as a few other blogs who've linked up below so you can get your money's worth and get some book talk going.

So I was on vacation during this interlude and there are consequently a lot more books on my list below than there normally are - I usually read five to seven books a month and there are 17 listed below as well as more that I didn't finish. I typically share them in the order I've read them, but this time I've taken the liberty of separating them out into three categories: Engrossing Reads, Passed the Time Just Fine, and Hard No  in case you're like WTF there's too much here to read. Here's what I've read since my last Show Us Your Books Post on June 9:

Engrossing Reads

The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen - I've never read this author, and I've seen her everywhere. I truly loved this story, and I'll be reading more YA books by Dessen.

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte - One of my absolute favorite heroines and consequently one of my favorite books. It's been a few years since I read it, and it was nice to visit Jane again. It's also nice to know that at every point in my life that I've read this book, it still holds up. If you're looking to dive into a classic, I suggest this one.

Where They Found Her by Kimberly McCreight - This book was totally engrossing. So many moving parts. So many people who could've been good or bad. A great read.

Hopeless by Colleen Hoover - A really weird premise and some crazy dark shit that Hoover pretty much glossed over, but I liked the characters a lot. It was a really good beach read.

Bittersweet by Miranda Beverly-Whittmore - Your standard rich people have fucked up secrets and lies tale. It made for a good beach read. Everyone was just a little bit off their rocker and that seemed fine to me.

Pines (Wayward Pines #1) by Blake Crouch - I was sort of all WTF while reading this book. It was so weird and I had no idea where he was going with it most of the time as he laid the groundwork for the series, but I wanted to go along with him. When I finished reading this one, I was glad I had the next two at my disposal.

Wayward (Wayward Pines #2) by Blake Crouch - In my opinion, the best book of the trilogy. I almost missed my stop on the train because I was so into this one morning.

The Last Town (Wayward Pines #3) by Blake Crouch - I kept picking this up and putting it down as the margin left to read at the end narrowed. Although this was not the best book in the series, I didn't want it to end. I hope there are more. Do you get my drift, Blake Crouch? I read all three of these in a matter of five days (maybe less?). More more more please.

Passed the Time Just Fine

The Burgess Boys by Elizabeth Strout - Oh dear, what to say...this was the okayest book I've ever read. That's not a rousing endorsement and you shouldn't take it as one. I kept waiting for a big thing and there was no big thing. I think Strout was going for some epic character family ties situation and she failed.

The Beach House by Jane Green - Mindless with dizzying coincidences, this was nonetheless enjoyable and a very quick read.

The Summer Girls by Mary Alice Monroe - Some of these characters drove me insane and the book went on a little too long, but it was like drifting out in the ocean and lazily considering going in but feeling too comfortable to get up and actually get to shore, so I read through it.

The Summer Wind by Mary Alice Monroe - Second in the series, I basically have one question out of these books and I'll read them all to find out. I skimmed some parts of this.

Heat Lightening (Virgil Flowers #2) by John Sandford - I love Virgil Flowers. This book was fucked up but good. I finished it on the ride down to North Carolina.

The Pledge (#1) by Kimberly Derting - Your standard YA Dystopian fare, this had a little bit of a Cinderella twist. It was alright. I don't see how they're going to make this a series.

The Mysterious Affair at Styles by Agatha Christie - I was relieved that I liked this book, the first Hercule Poirot novel Christie put out. I hated the Miss Marple I tried to read and thought Christie was lost to me, but I liked Poirot a lot.

Fly Away (Firefly Lane #2) by Kristin Hannah - It's been quite a long time since I read Firefly Lane. I can't even recall it too well, but I vaguely remember disliking Tully then and I dislike her now. I liked other aspects of this story though, and it was a quick one day read on the beach.

Rough Country (Virgil Flowers #3) by John Sandford - Another enjoyable romp with Virgil Flowers. If you read this book, that sentence will be funnier to you. I'll make my way through this whole series. They're not too taxing on the brain and I like the characters and the writing.

Hard No
Otherwise known as books I started and chose not to finish in June:

Hausfrau by Jill Alexander Essbaum - How dare this author use my word as a title, precluding me from writing a book under the same title about the glamorous art of housewifery, and make it such an un-enjoyable read? Pooh pooh.

A Half Forgotten Song by Katherine Webb - Isn't the title poetic? Doesn't it draw you in? Guess what doesn't draw you in? The book. Fart noise.

A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman - Nothing grabbed me even though I really wanted it to because since it didn't, I had to walk up to the house and get another book.

This link up happens the second Tuesday of every month. The next one is Tuesday, August 11. 

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Non-bloggers, what have you read recently? Let me know what you recommend and what to stay away from. Bloggers, link up your posts below.

An InLinkz Link-up

TWTW - This weekend I...

1. Recouped. I didn't leave the house except for a quick Saturday morning run to the Farmers' Market.

2. Hit the Far Northeast Farmers' Market. I got tomatoes, cucumbers, peaches, plums, blueberries, blackberries, eggs, pork chops, smoked pineapple salsa, and treats for the dogs.

3. Had our good friends Jill & Frank over for dinner. Mexican stuffed shells, salad, and catching up were on the menu.

4. Made cinnamon ice cream using the Pioneer Woman's recipe. It was excellent. I served it alongside a fruit cobbler I made with every type of fruit I got from the Farmers' Market.

5. Did my weekly food prep: zucchini pie for breakfasts; fruit, greek yogurt, and orange peppers for snacks; mexican stuffed shells and celery for lunch; grilled chicken drumsticks, grilled pork chops, salad, and wild rice for dinners. I also made a tray of mexican stuffed shells to freeze.

6. Received our new beach chairs. MFD's was nine years old and done. Mine was pretty new but didn't recline. We went with the Tommy Bahamas after testing out my Dad & Carol's on vacation.

7. Did the usual: weights, Sunday sheet changing and towel washing, minor hausfrauing, 407 runs of the dishwasher.

8. Went to Walfart because it was convenient and then hated myself after because the whole place is a shitshow, edited a short book for someone, ignored my janky feet that need a pedicure, grilled meats in my pajamas (sorry neighbors), watched season one of Laguna Beach even though it's almost 10 years old and there are a zillion other shows I haven't even seen yet and should've watched instead, slept in on Sunday, stalked #grandteton and #yellowstone hashtags on Instagram since I'm obsessed with our upcoming anniversary trip, and enjoyed having a silent house to myself for most of Sunday.

9. Spent quality time with los perros.

10.. Finished the last book in the Wayward Pines series. I need more. Tomorrow is the Show Us Your Books linkup. I have a lot to show you and I want to hear what you've been reading and recommend! I'll see you back here tomorrow for book talk, I hope.

What did you do this weekend?

Linking up with Biana at B Loved Boston for Weekending

Things you can do today to increase productivity tomorrow

You're thinking wait, it's Friday, screw this post because tomorrow is Saturday I don't need productivity in my life on Saturday. Right? Maybe?  I know, not a great post for a Friday.

Anyway. I'm a very productive person. I get shit done. I'm definitely down with downtime, but I have to earn that time - I like to feel like I deserve that relaxation. I can give you a list of things I do in the mornings, but for me the true secret of increased productivity is doing things the night before to line me up for a great tomorrow. Things like...

1. Formulate tomorrow's to do list today. I do this every afternoon before I leave work. It has my work stuff on it with the top three priorities at the top, what type of exercise I'm going to do, any errands that need to be run, what's for dinner, and chores I have to take care of. This does two things: it stops my mind from racing to track down those things when I'm trying to go to sleep, and it gives me a road map for a successful day the next day. I don't waste time figuring out what to do when. It's already figured out.

2. Clear the surfaces. I don't operate well in chaos. I like to put my house to sleep when I go to sleep so I know I'll wake up to a clean slate in the morning. No dishes in the sink, no clutter crapping things up. I won't feel it weighing on me when I get up. Likewise, I clean off my desk or at the least put stuff into piles I'll tackle the next day when I leave my office.

3. Get out of your own head. Do a little exercise. Read a book. Watch a little TV. Weed your flower bed. Relax your mind and stop thinking about all the things you have to do. Just put yourself on auto pilot and loosen the reins a little.

4. Practice gratitude. What does gratitude have to do with productivity, you ask? Gratitude has everything to do with everything. If you want to attract more good, you'd better appreciate the good you have first. Every day before I go to sleep I do a down and dirty five things I'm thankful for list. Sometimes the things are big, but they're often small. If you don't tie yourself to the things you should be grateful for, you become an arrogant dick and everyone hates you. It's hard to get things done when everyone hates you. Does that reasoning work well enough?

5. Refresh. Get a good sleep so you start tomorrow in top condition. Remove distractions, wear a sleep mask, stop with the technology an hour before bed. Sleep is important.

What about you? What do you do today to prepare yourself for a successful tomorrow?