She Seeks Seashells

I head to the beach after work. 

I bring a book, but I don't always read it.

I wear a bathing suit, or I don't. 

MFD is there too, fishing, or he's not.

I have a mesh bag to collect my treasures, and if I forget it, I use whatever else I have. 

I'm pleased when low tide approaches or arrives between the hours of five and nine.

I wander up and down the tide line, slowly.

Shell seeking.

One of my Gamma's favorite books was The Shell Seekers. 

I learned to be a shell seeker from her, and my mom, and my aunts. 

Seeking specific shells. 

The kind I like.

Every shell seeker has their favorites.

But also some smooth, lots of times translucent rocks worn so soft from tumbling in the ocean.

Who needs a rock tumbler? 

Use the Atlantic.

And sea glass, a major prize.

When I find a lot of pieces I put them all in my palm and take a picture to share with my niece. 

A blissfully blank mind.

Only the sound of waves, and laughing gulls, and snippets of conversations that don't concern me.

The light washes everything honey gold as the sun goes down. 

Alone.

Peace. 

Happy birthday to my friends Mr. Chris and Dawn today!

Thursday Thoughts - When it's right the light just comes shining through

Hey. Hi. Hey. I'm tired and didn't feel like doing the typical Thursday Thoughts in which I cuttingly point out the hypocrisy of Mr. Both Sides Have Very Fine People President (where "both sides" are Nazis, one of which ran a woman over and killed her, and Nazi protestors) and his swamp of asskissing traitors go full throttle after three women of color in Congress instead of calling their own racist hateful antisemitic people in like they of all people should be anti-semitism police, so instead here's a 10 list of things I'm loving right now:

1. Birthday Countdown: we're about a month out, people. If you've read here for long, you knew this was coming, as is the month-long celebration. I always buy my own birthday gifts and those are always sneakers or athleisure shoes, nail polish, and books. I have ordered the sneakers and nail polish (going full on Sally Hansen Insta-Dri polishes this year, so I got four for the price of two OPIs and used a Target gift card so they were free). Still nailing down which books I want, and will use an Amazon gift card so they'll be free too. Free is for me. The sneakers, not free, but only $50 so a win.

2. Shore House Countdown: I try not to think of it when I can't go there. This is the longest I've gone without going to get something or drop something off or check in on the house. MFD has been doing that, my Dad and Carol stopped in in December, and Rich did a drive by last week. I'm feeling the absence of the shore in my life heavily right now. I am officially on overnight temp weather watch and always hoping for an early spring.

3. Dollar Store Bowls: They're the white ones below. The stripes are the final two bowls remaining from my shower in 2009. The ones in the back are the only ones left from World Market expensive ass bowls that all chipped. The Dollar Store bowls are the real MVP. They don't chip. I have them at the shore too.

4. The Bruce and Bender Show: these two are so cute and a riot together, even when they're wreaking havoc or destroying shit. Yesterday MFD reported that they got ramen out of the pantry and ate it in the living room.

5. Radical self love: getting up close and personal with yourself, even the parts you don't like, and loving yourself through it all.

6. A weekend of reading ahead: Well, a weekend of reading is usually ahead, but it's like a group activity this weekend. Are you joining in?

7. The ability to work from home: bless it, very seriously. I worked from home Tuesday and am working from home today.

8. Baked goods from Mom. Last night she dropped off cookies and a pound cake with strawberry icing. I ate all of the cookies and called it dinner.

9. Fake sun and fake massage: Both improve my mood immensely. If you feel any type of way without the sunlight in the winter, I am telling you to get the Sun Touch Plus and park your ass in front of it for a half hour a few times a week. It's a season changer. If you are like me you'll combine that time with your massager and get up off the couch a half hour later feeling like a new person. Don't mind the dog hair, feel the serenity.

Amazon links are affiliate links

10. Ecards.

What are you loving today? 

Aside from yourself...you should be on your own love it list every day.

If you aren't, what can we do to get you on there?

Holding space in my heart for Parkland students, families, and community today and every day.

What appears after the hyphen in Thursday Thoughts is a song lyric to whatever I'm listening to when I start to write the post. This week is Caught Up in You by 38 Special

What I'm Loving Lately

I rarely just sort of like something. I'm usually all in with pink puffy heart love or all out. I used to do this once a month but I've gotten out of the habit of sharing things I'm loving with others so I wanted to take a minute to tell you what I'm all into recently: No affiliate links.

Tom's Slippers. These are worth every last penny of $40 some dollars. When I bought them I felt like an extravagant asshole, which I still might be, but it was worth it.

What's on my walls. Do I still like it? Some stuff has been up for a long long time and it's time for it to go. I've been ditching stuff at will and moving stuff around from room to room. I often go through stuff in my house, but rarely stuff that hangs. That's changed this time around as I'm working on getting rid of 30 bags of shit in 30 days. The walls are no longer safe.


Cabela's Sarasota Plush Full Zip Jacket. I bought this in black for Ireland, then I bought it in two other colors because I loved it so damn much. I tend to do that when I find something I adore. It's comfortable and breathable and really warm. Like it can take the place of a jacket on a lot of days warm. Visually I love the contrast zippers. It's $80 on the site right now, but I got the black one for $40 and the other two for $50 so hold for a sale, please. One of mine will live at the shore and the other two at home. MFD was all I don't like this as he was wearing it for a quick foray outside and I replied something to the effect of good it's not yours and you look ridiculous in it.

The Fina Series by Ingrid Thoft. I love strong female leads in books and Fina fits the bill. Her family is fucked up and so is her love life but she's fierce, smart, flawed, and awesome. I enjoy Ingrid Thoft's writing a lot. This is the fourth book and it was just released last week. I finished it last night and I think it was my favorite so far. Go forth and secure some from your library.

I Love Juicy Shampoo from Lush. It's pricey but I love the smell and how it leaves my hair. Since I don't wash my hair that often, it lasts me a long time, so the price is easier to justify spread out. I like their shampoo bars too, but since I don't use any hair products and I don't dry my hair with a blow dryer ever, I rely on my shampoo to provide some oomph and scent. I Love Juicy delivers.

WeMo Smart Plug. I get an enormous thrill every time I can turn the lamp on and off from my phone. Yes, I am aware it's like a more expensive clap on clap off situation. You can't rain on this light parade. Plus now I can turn the lights on for my dogs when I'm not home. It's worth the $30 for that alone.

Making my own elderberry extract. Since this cold keeps popping up like someone you're attempting to drown - speaking from crime show and movie experience, not real life experience, mind - I had to make this again. It's super easy and I control what goes in it. Win Win.

Cleanbear Dish Gloves. Why do my manicures last? Because I don't wash dishes or clean anything without these gloves and I don't use my nails as tools and I use always use a basecoat and never mind it's largely in the gloves. These are strong and they last a long time before one of the fingers blows out. They're like two for $13.

Give me the dirt on your current obsessions.

Creature comforts

I'm grateful for the big, important things I'm lucky enough to have - my health, framily, job, education, house, access to clean water, the utilities that make my home bright/warm in winter/cool in summer. I also love to wax poetic about those intangibles that sweeten the pot of life - the first tinge of autumn in the air, watching snow fall, the scent of summer rain on hot blacktop, being inside under a warm blanket on a cold day, waking up really well rested, feeling my feet sinking into the sand when the ocean comes up over them, sensing the heat of the sun on my skin in early spring, accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you...

But on a lower, more spoiled and materialistic plane, there's the stuff. Which is, of course, all just stuff. I could sit here and act like I don't like stuff and like I'm above stuff, but I'm not. While I could certainly do without my creature comforts, I won't deny that they please me and I don't feel guilty about wanting them, liking them, and enjoying them.

Some of those things are...(no affiliate links)

New nail polish every season
An eclectic collection of coffee mugs
Gap Simple Pants (save this purchase for when you get a 40% off everything email)
Cheapie fresh flowers from Produce Junction
Sanuk Overboard loafers 
Reef Star Cushion Flip Flops

Wicked Women candles
L.E.H. Soap Company Jersey Girl soap - I love many, but that scent is my favorite.
Estes Sunglasses  from Sunglass Warehouse- the only cheap polarized sunglasses that work for me
Well worn paperback books from a used bookstore
Fresh Sugar Lip Treatment in Ruby
Sharpie markers

Panasonic digital camera
Mrs. Meyers Geranium and Method Grapefruit cleaning lines
Beach Goat Milk & Honey Lotion and sugar scrub from Blue Eden
R+F REDEFINE Multi-Function Eye Cream
Yogi Honey Lavender Stress Relief Tea (AKA go the fuck to sleep tea)

What are some of your creature comforts?

The best things in life are free

Today I turn 39. Whenever I hear that age, I think of the movie To Gillian on her 39th Birthday, which I've never seen but which pops into my head frequently. Titles of books, movies, and songs that I have never personally experienced tend to stick with me if I like the way the title itself flows. When I googled that movie to see what year it came out (1996), I found out the title is actually To Gillian on her 37th Birthday. So my intro about being 19 when that came out, being 39 now like the title of the movie, and how that 20 years passed in the blink of an eye is a loud fart of a failure and I'm two years late to the Gillian birthday game.

Anyway. Good morning. Welcome to my birthday. That's what today is known as throughout the land, right? Right.

To celebrate, I thought I'd talk about what I love that doesn't cost me anything. Of course some of these require things I've already paid for or utilities, but, I mean...stop being a ruiner and let me live. While I am a huge proponent of celebrating my birthday all month and live by the treat yo'self motto in general, some of the things I love the most are free, like

Watching the sunrise on the beach

Going to the library

Talking about future travel destinations with MFD

Planning things. Anything.

Seeing my people succeed or overcome 

Being ridiculous with my friends

Organizing things. Anything.

Reading a book

Cursing

Drinking coffee outside on the weekends

Sleeping in fresh, clean sheets

Having the windows open at home

Popping in to see my niece

Driving with the music loud and the sun roof open

People watching

Cooking

Exploring a city or town on foot

Snapping photos

Walking in the woods with the dogs at Lori's

Laughing

Looking through pre-digital photos

Freshly painted nails using my too big nail polish collection

Sitting out back in my gravity free chair

Talking to my dogs

Perusing Amazon and making wishlists

Celebrate with me! Share your favorite free things in the comments. While you're at it, leave your email in the raffle copter below. I'll donate $25 to the charity of the winner's choice and send you a surprise box of fun as well. As Peters always says, sharing is caring, you guys.

I love it. I don't love it.

Back in aught '02 Nadine tagged in me Love/Hate tag. I don't like tag. I mean, it involves running and I've been pretty clear about the fact that I don't run. However, I do like lists and since I'm very opinionated I have a lot of things I love and a lot of things I don't. Easy as pie. Here we go.  If you're so inclined, please give me your own version of this list in the comments - I like to see what makes the love it/don't lists of others.

1. Reading. I'd rather read a book than do almost anything else.

2. Travelling. The majority of my mad money goes into a travel fund. This desire to go and see and do is a huge part of who I am. I'm glad to have a partner who feels the same.

3. Not giving a fuck. Does this require further explanation? If so, it can sort of be summed up by saying/doing/feeling/thinking what I want and not feeling guilt about not doing something the world wants or expects from me, or doing something the world frowns upon. It feels like freedom and tastes like pink starburst.

4. Sunglasses. I'm pretty sure I wear them more than I don't. Nothing can ruin my day faster than no access to sunglasses.

5. Functioning within a routine. I like knowing what's coming.

6. Convenience - Exhibit A - Amazon Prime. If I own it or use it, there's an 88% chance it was ordered on Amazon and I got it within two days and more and more on the same day or by the next day. Exhibit B - Grocery delivery. I don't know why I resisted this for so long, as if I was a champion grocery picker and no one could do it as good as I could. Spoiler: they can and they do.

7. Coffee and the mugs it lives in. I love love love it. If you follow me on Instagram, you know it's true.

8. Laughing. It's my favorite. I'm quick to laugh at things, even things that I maybe shouldn't laugh at. Laughing makes me feel awesome. And it's free.

9. Being beside the sea. I feel like my best self near the ocean.

10. The obvious. How to choose the last? By listing things I've stated my love for many times, of course. Is this cheating, to bang off much-discussed loves in the final entry? I don't care. I make the rules here. So: Lists. Dirty Dancing. Sunrises. Bruce Springsteen. Cooking. Quotes. Nail polish. Organizing. Trying new restaurants. Fresh sheets. The Breakfast Club. Beverly Hills 90210.

1. Poor grammar. I can get down with slang terms and sentence structure gone awry in conversational writing. Go ahead and end your sentences with a preposition, I don't mind. I'm not grammatically perfect but I try. I think it's the not caring or the hurry to get stuff across that kills me. Take your time! Think about which word to use: their/they're/there. it's/its and to/two/too. Can I also use this time to bring this up? It's used to and supposed to, not use to and suppose to. Don't even get me started on the misuse of apostrophes. We'll be here all day and into the next. 

2. Dog hair. I've learned to live with it. I do not love it. Not even a little bit.

3. Waiting. For anything, anywhere. In lines, for something to arrive, for an answer, for Godot, for something to finish cooking or drying or whatever, for vacation to get here, for a show to return, for a book to come in at the library. I hate waiting and am the worst waiter in the history of waiting. 

4. Whining. Stop. No one curr. 

5. Multi-media. If you want to see me absolutely lose my shit, play a video on your phone when I can hear the TV or radio. Multimedia turns me into Hulk Smash. One noise producing thing at a time. Ask MFD how often I freak out about this. Then ask why he still plays videos when something else is on knowing certain death awaits. 

6. Chipped nails. When my nails are chipped in a trashy sort of way, I feel terrible about myself. 

7. Counting other people's money and how they spend it. Unless someone's hitting you up for money, constantly complaining to you about money, or owes you money, it's not your business. We all spend differently. Don't worry about it. And don't have ideas about what people should and shouldn't pay for if they make more than you. It's gross and ill-mannered.

8. Entitlement. It's a cancerous thought process. You are not entitled to anything you didn't work for and you don't deserve things or special treatment just because of who you are. Get over yourself. 

9. Small talk. I'm not good at it. 

10. Being patronized. Just don't. Or I'll hand you your ass on a platter in return. 

Lay your loves and don't loves on me like Brett Michaels lays product on his luscious locks. 

Netflix, shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

via

The Evil Asslord Comcast has chosen this week to fuck with me and raise my monthly payment for zero reason. Of course this is the week our Internet has been on the fritz nightly as well, requiring a technician to come out today. But back to the cable bill. 

 As you Comcast customers may be aware, this is nothing new and happens at least once a year. Two years ago I had a manager lock me into a rate only to have it go up before the time period was over. I called and had to bully them into keeping their word.

After 12 years, I've had it. Cable is being cancelled. MFD says he's with me, but he lingers long over My Strange Addiction instead of catching up on The Good Wife, which he says he wants to do before I pull the plug.

Get a move on, Mike. My rage is going to spontaneously combust to form a wrathful demon not unlike something one would see in Rosemary's Baby or The Exorcist if I don't get to spew it on them soon.

I am acquiring this antenna so I can watch Jeopardy, Channel 6 Action News, and awards shows. We have a Roku in the living room to stream Amazon, Netflix, Hulu (currently not subscribing to Hulu).

I don't watch a ton of TV. When I do, it's rarely in real time. Showtime and HBO are poised to offer standalone streaming service this year, as is CBS. It'll be all good and soon we will no longer be living under the thumb of Comcast, the shysters with black souls, for cable.

Last week Kelly at A Lovely Life, Indeed tagged me in a Netflix post. Timely, given the Comcast fuckery going down right now. Shows I've loved on Netflix:

House of Cards. Kevin Spacey is everything.

The Fall. Gillian Anderson and serial killers. Yes and yes.

The Killing. I will love Netflix forever for making this show stretch to a final season.

Orange is the New Black. I thought I wouldn't like this show, but I do.

Things I'm planning on watching in the future:
-The West Wing
-Peaky Blinders
-Call the Midwife
-Breaking Bad
-Luther
-Boss
-Lillyhammer
-Broadchurch

Due to my lack of Valentining, you might have surmised that I'm not a lover of the day, but I do love love and I also love a lot of other things. Like you, dear reader. And Netflix. If you've enjoyed this, perhaps you might enjoy my big love post from 2013.

Happy Friday. Damn the man! Save the Empire! 

Linking up with Amanda for Friday Favorites.

Ain't Nobody Love You Like I love You - Debbie Rae Designs Jewelry

I love love. All kinds of love. I think we should celebrate the shit out of love every day. Things I love about love:

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1. There's so much love to give and receive every day between you and the people around you: between you and YOURSELF (an often overlooked relationship), you and your parents, you and your children, you and your siblings, you and your best friends, you and your partner, you and your pet, you and your God. Sometimes you're born with shitty relatives, which is why it's awesome that you can have framily: the relatives you choose by choice. Even if your parents or siblings suck, love is out there for you.

2. No one gets to say who you love or how much you love someone. You can love whoever you want with your whole huge heart.

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3. Love exercises your heart - it pushes your heart to be bigger to hold all the love that needs a place to live, to stay strong when it's been mistreated, to hold its muscles tight when it's bursting with pride, to keep a steady beat when it's full.

4. Love gives you a safe place to land - when you screw up, feel worthless, get kicked around by life - it's the love of your tribe that will prop you up until you can stand on your own two feet again.

5. Love gives you the opportunity to share with and give to others. It allows you to find joy in their joy. I love my Debbie Rae Designs jewelry and wear at least one piece every day (but am usually wearing two or three bracelets at a time). To celebrate the talent of my fabulous BFF Debbie and the launch of her new Debbie Rae Designs website and because ain't nobody love you like I love you, one of you will win a custom Debbie Rae Designs bracelet (you pick the bead and the charm) and set of earrings.

Cheers. From me to you with love. Good luck!
a Rafflecopter giveaway



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