Showing posts with label i hope we all make it. Show all posts
Showing posts with label i hope we all make it. Show all posts

Friday, January 17, 2025

Things I've been meaning to tell you 1.17.2025

Long time no talk, mes amis. 

I thought I'd pop in on the eve of the inauguration weekend from hell. I know it's been a while, but this is not a space and I am not the one for trump lovers. I'm not out on the internet arguing over human decency in 2025. If you've been around for a while, this will not surpise you. Some things have changed, but that has not. I will not be getting on board, bending the knee, licking the boot, acquiescing. 

trump is still a misogynistic, cruel, manipulative, lying, racist, rapist grifter who is only interested in serving his own bank account and catering to the whims of his billionaire lords both foreign and domestic; and absolutely not interested in anything in service to the American people or in line with the United States Constitution. He's got the architects of draconian policies clicking their fingernails together waiting to implement Project 2025 and it will be quickly apparent that overall cruelty to everyone who's not a white male and control of women have always been the points and remain the points. He's now a felon too which means referring to him as FOTUS instead of POTUS as we enter into this new era of oligarchy in the open. What a time to be alive!

But alive we are, and will continue to be, the universe willing. And there is no sense in being alive without leaning into joy and connection. 

Which is why my winter plans do not include catastrophizing, doom scrolling, worrying out every possible scenario, walking through the world in fear of what might come down. All of those things are a waste of my energy. And I'm just not cedeing any of my power or energy to these people. Fuck that.

I'd rather talk about some things I'm doing this winter and some things I plan to do to get through the chaos that's about to roll down. 

As we saw immediately after the election, non rich-people did not fully grasp what tariffs would mean for them, or why a ruling class of billionaires would make them poorer or impact programs like the ACA, Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, etc. trump voters sold us all out over the price of eggs which trump has already said he cannot do anything about (never mind that there was an also imperfect candidate who had an actual plan to deal with corporate price gouging, never mind!). We're all about to feel these impacts the hard way, but until then, as a starting place/quick catchup, we are here:

I'm not going to spend time today talking about how to move forward politically. I'm watching what plays out. I'm almost as unhappy with corporate democrats as I am with the MAGA fake christian nationalists that have taken over the republican party. Fucking chill, I said almost. Don't salivate like I'd sacrifice any of my convictions to meet in the middle between Everyone Has Human Rights and Deserves Liberty, Love of their Choice, Freedom, Food, Shelter, Healthcare, Education, and Bodily Autonomy and the MAGA position on the same that is so goddamn far down from mine, it's in the devil's crusty unused basement. We are too far apart on human rights and we're never ever ever getting back together. I'd prefer that everyone realizes the social issues are not what's going to kill us, but the wealth gap, temper tantrums of mediocre white men throughout the ages, and prioritizing power and greed over everything else is absolutely going to kill us. 

Overall right now with very few exceptions, my prevailing sentiment is fuck the government/we take care of us/eat the rich. Clear? Clear.

Since I will not be catastrophizing, mismanaging my energy, or sending my cortisol levels through the roof, what will I be doing? Maybe you need some alternatives to fretting as well. 

Creative outlets
I've felt pulled to write recently and I've ignored it long enough so I'm trying not to ignore it anymore. 

As has been well documented over the years, I'm not a crafter and don't consider myself creative in things that require hands and like...actual creation. But the last two months of 2024, thinking I'd need to occupy myself because idle hands fret, I bought some wood pieces I am going to use in conjunction with my beach trolling collections to make some things. No one has to see it but I will benefit from the process of doing it. 

Music
If you want to see what my inside sounds like, I will refer you to my The winter of my discontent playlist on Spotify. I am not a typical sharer of playlists but this is hitting so hard for me, I feel like a magician for creating it. Music is a great place to lose yourself, always has been.

Social Media
Twitter: I got off Twitter as soon as Elon bought it so, next. 

Meta: I'm not ready to abandon Meta (specifically my chosen platform, Instagram) because I think breaking apart communities and access is part of the masterplan of Zuck's recent changes to his platforms. 

What I've done is erase my past off meta activities and disallowed access to future activities. You can do this by going to your facebook account, settings and privacy, See more in Accounts Center, click your information and permissions, click your activity off meta technologies, then two things: 1) clear previous activity and 2) manage future activity and disconnect. 

I will be goddamned if I click on anything and buy it through anything Meta shows me. This is an absolute no.

Align Practices with Principles
I can't boycott everything that gives money to administrations with policies I find abhorrent and against my own interests because then I'd be naked in the street eating my own feet since so much unethical and gross shit goes on in the lobbyists/corporation/politician threesome in this country, but in my life what makes the most sense right now is
- Not allowing my Amazon prime to renew. In general I will try to avoid Amazon, but if I can only get something there, I can get it without prime shipping
- Switched from Goodreads (owned by Amazon) to Storygraph
- Low buy year. I am sick of our overconsumption as a society, mortified at what it's doing environmentally, and pissed I've normalized it in my own life
- Shopping local for anything I do need 
- I don't need one goddamn item of clothing, so aside from the boots I just bought for our upcoming trip and replacing my birks that are beat to shit, no new clothes. Used okay.
- Attempt to borrow or buy used before buying new
- I've long been a no food waste lady. That's on steroids now. 
- Think about how I'm buying groceries - specifically, their packaging. My convenience is not the priority anymore. 
- Community and mutual aid. What do I have that I don't need that others in my community do need?

Get outside
Even when it's cold, outside is always the best side. 

Joy. Beauty. Travel. Friends. Books. In house. Self. 
- Recklessly pursue small joys because what the fuck is the point without them.
- See the beauty all around, and when it's hard to find, make a point to look for it. 
- We have a trip in February we've tried to take twice since 2015 and it's finally fucking happening. Family trip in June. Weekends with family and friends. 
- Friends are life. 
- Reading. Always. To escape this world, to learn more about it, to put myself in someone else's shoes, to keep up with fictional serial killers.
- This is a joint commitment with MFD. Shit will swirl outside as it does. If we're good inside our house, we're going to be okay. We always have been. You will be too.
- My relationship with myself is the most important relationship and the one every other relationship feeds from. My whole health - mental, physical, spiritual - comes before everything else. That doesn't change regardless of what's going on externally.

Standing Strong.
In my convictions. 
Under the moon.
With my face pointed toward the sun.
In the mighty shadow of hope.
When it is time for reflection.
When it is time for action. 
With my people.
In loving community. 
Behind people who need me behind them. 
In front of people as a shield when my privilege is greater than theirs.
Beside people like you, doing what we can to bring a better world for everyone into being.

Don't all those things sound like much better ways to spend energy than catastrophizing?  

Hang in there, folks. We've got us. Go Birds.










Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Good for you. I mean it.

Are you on an awesome vacation? Did you just get a new car? Have you gone up the career ladder? Are you purchasing a second home? Has an amazing opportunity come your way? Have you been working hard on your health and fitness? Did you overcome an obstacle? Have you improved your skills in one of your hobbies? Did you finally purchase something insanely expensive you've been saving for? Have you found love? Did you strive towards a personal goal and meet it? Did something finally click for you?

Good for you. I mean it.

There are a lot of people who seem supportive of others...until people reach a level that surpasses them. Some people can't stand to have someone that's not them excel. It sets their hearts on fire with insecurity and jealousy. They suddenly have things to say or do to subtly (or not so subtly) lessen someone's achievements, to make them question themselves or make them feel oddly guilty or wrong for being successful. You know these people - the ones who are always out there knocking people down a few pegs like it's their job. Talking out of the other side of their mouths to remind you that that successful person is not perfect. No shit, Sherlock. None of us are.

I'm not one of those people. I have many faults but this is not one of them. I'm straight up and real with people, but I don't want anyone around me to fail or feel shitty about themselves. I really love watching other people shine. I don't see the point in not hoping everyone can be the best person they can be, to have all the things they dream of in their heart of hearts. Making other people feel small doesn't make me feel better about myself, it makes me feel like an asshole. If you've surpassed me in an area of life, I don't need to bring you back down to my level to remind you that you're not as good as you think you are. What is the point of that? There are enough people out there who will rain on your parade and look for the one bad thing among all the good things to criticize. I'd rather be the one saying you go girl! I do my best to come from a place of encouragement. In writing this, I'm not looking for a pat on the back. I'm looking to recruit you to join me in the encourager ranks if you're not already there.
I don't even care if someone's success seems sudden or easy, because I know from personal experience that no success is sudden or easy. I don't know how much a success means to someone so there's no way I'm going to act like I know if they deserve it or not. I don't know how hard you work because I'm not you. I do know that every person's story has mistakes and missteps whether I've seen them or not.

Every one of us has found ourselves in a long, dark tunnel that feels like we'll never again emerge into the light of day. We don't usually publish the struggles and if we do we don't always say how much those struggles have cut us to the bone. Struggles live in shadowy recesses inside of us and have doors only those in our closest circle can enter to bear witness to our pain, shame, and strife. I don't need to see what you've been through to appreciate that you're now on the top of whatever mountain you've been climbing. I don't want to kick you back down a few hundred yards so you can satisfy some measurement of hard work or success that lives inside of my head. I want to be the hand that reaches down and pulls you up if you've run out of gas at the end.

I don't want you to downplay your successes for my sake or anyone else's. It's not right to dull your shine. If good things are happening to you and for you, enjoy them. Don't worry about what people say or who thinks you deserve it. Wasting time worrying about that kind of stuff distracts you from moving forward and continuing on your journey. You don't have time for it.
So keep going. Reach higher. Go out and get what you want. Be happy and proud. Don't listen to the voices that try to take the wind out of your sails, and when you do hear them, know that there are others like me out there cheering you on. There's no limit to the amount of people that can be happy and successful. I'm not interested in competing. I hope we all make it. I hope you hope that too.
A very happy birthday to my good friend and fellow encourager Gena down in Alabama.

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