Ways to Define a Day

Before I go to sleep at night, I turn the lights out, settle in just so, put my trusty sleep mask on, take a deep breath of the lavender I've sprinkled on my pillow, and reflect on my day.

Did I survive? At the basest level, I define every day by me still being there at the end of it. No matter what happened,  even if it was awful, it's over. I can take the sleep cure and wake up to a brand new chance. In that sense, every day truly is a good day.

Was I grateful? Every day, not just on bad days and near Thanksgiving. It is not happy people who are thankful. It is thankful people who are happy. There is always something for which to be grateful.

Was I productive? Did I cross most things off the to do list? If not, did I at least take care of the important items? Did I work hard at work? If I didn't, chances are I won't sleep soundly that night.

How did I treat others? I can totally be a snarky asshole with my BFFs and tell it like it is, which is sometimes not a nice way to be. I need to balance that by being kind to people where I can. Did I help anyone today? Was I open to offering some supportive or encouraging words to someone who needed them?

Was there laughter? There has to be laughter. Every day, even in situations that aren't funny. I can't get by without it. If I feel like I haven't laughed enough, I'll think of something that always makes me laugh so I can get it in.

Was there time to just be? Was there time when I wasn't working, doing, reading, looking at my phone, cooking, cleaning, exercising, driving?  That's not to say I don't do some of my best thinking during those activities...but to me, just being implies stillness. Just being lets my mind wander where it will, glossing over things and snagging on others. Out of all the ways to define a day, this one is most crucial to refueling. Time spent just being, sitting outside and watching the sky go by, thinking of everything or nothing, is time well spent no matter how busy the day was.

What are some ways you define a day?

Time to refuel

This actually is a burnt out light bulb. 

MAN. My light bulb is burnt out you guys. I'm busy at work, I have a zillion errands to run, I can't catch up on hausfrauing, my mind is going a mile a minute all the time. I'm feeling the pull from many directions, and pressure to do and be from all sides. My brain seriously felt like it might fall out of my head yesterday.

This morning I thought about the small things that made me smile over the past week and it helped me relight my fire enough to switch it into gear and finish this week out in ass kicking style.

• Sleeping with the windows open
• New nail polish
• Catching Overboard on tv
• Staying up late to finish a good book
• Sleeping in
• Laughing so much my cheeks and stomach hurt
• Dreaming about soft ice cream
• Found money

• Seeing lots of sweet mullets in person
• A successful new recipe
• A coupon for a free iced coffee
• Two vats of iced coffee in my fridge 
• Spending time with my BFF 
• Hearing one of my more obscure favorite songs on the radio
• The arrival of US Magazine in the mailbox just as the weekend is starting
• Leftovers from my neighbor =  don't need to pack my lunch
• A cheery little pitcher
• Drying lavender
• Kisses from my dogs
• Getting a video of my brother's first college soccer game from my mom since I couldn't be there
• A funky bottle adds a little disco to dish doing 

• Fruit in a bowl
• Turning off the Republican National Convention and going to bed
• A shopping trip with MFD
• The smell of baby powder
• Brother's Pizza
• Getting veggies from my uncle's garden
• Brie
• A three day weekend looming in the not so distant future

What's getting you over the hump today?

p.s. I mentioned coffee twice in that list. That calls for another cup. Cheers. 

No apologies

There are times in life when apologies are necessary - when you hurt someone's feelings; when you want to convey your sympathy for the situation someone is in, when you spill red wine in someone's lap; when you forget someone's birthday.

Then there are things you shouldn't apologize for, and the things you know you won't ever apologize for...what are yours? Here are mine:

1. Thinking Beverly Hills 90210 is the greatest show to ever air on television. My car is named Kelly Taylor. That's right.

photo: sharetv.org

2. Laughing in inappropriate situations, or laughing at farts and people falling.

3. Liking something too quickly on facebook. Sorry to disappoint those who think I'm creeping on them. I'm not going to read something and think "Oh, I have to remember to go back and like that later so I don't seem like a creeper now." Live in the moment, people.

Photo: boston.com

4. Being organized, thinking and planning ahead, labeling shit and being prepared. It's served me well, and to those who say I'm anal, I say toodleoo and why do you care if I'm organized? I don't care that you're disorganized.

photo: undeniablestyle.com

5. Demanding silence when I am trying to fall asleep. I need quiet and dark.

6. Being hungover. I drank too much while having an awesome time, what's it to you?

7. Being a feminist. Women don't get paid the same, women are still victims of abuse and rape and discrimination, women's health/safety/reproductive rights are still threatened both here in America and around the globe...we are so far from equality I can't even see it on the horizon.

8. Treating my dogs like furry children, letting them sit on the furniture and sleep where they please, even if it is on top of my head.

9. Refusing to read 99.9% of nonfiction books.

10. Saying no to invitations even when nothing is on my calendar - I am very easily a victim of my own over scheduling, so now I schedule in free-time.

11. Liking my alone time. I love MFD, but I also love being alone in my house to putter and daydream.

12. Calling bullshit on someone.

photo: dailykos.com

13. Liking stupid movies. Keep your fa fa The English Patient movies. I'll take Moving Violations any day.

14. Having my mood be directly related to the quality of the nail polish on my nails.

15. Being me. I am always working on myself, seeking better ways to be and do, vacuuming negativity out of my aura, sucking knowledge in daily, but at the end of the day, I am myself. Warts and all. If you don't like me, that's totally ok. But that's your issue, not mine. Don't expect me to apologize for being me.

I hope you all list #15 as something you'll never apologize for, being you is your very essence. Swim in it.

Life lessons A to Z

Happy Wednesday, worldwideweb! As part of my birthday month, I thought I'd share an A to Z of some things I've learned along the way in life. Enjoy! And try not to be a dbag today, to yourself or anyone else.

A. Actions speak louder than words. Do what you say you're going to do.

Photo from leloveimage.blogspot.com

B. Don't think so much. Just be. This is my favorite quote from the fabulous novel Ordinary People.

C. Comparison is the thief of joy. Appreciate what you have, don't worry about anyone else or what they have.

D. Don't drink and drive, and don't be an asshole drunk.

E. Excuses are lame.

F. Facebook is not a therapy office, nor is it a place to air dirty laundry. It's a social network. The End.

Photo from sanespaces.com

G. Graciously accept aging - some people don't have the privilege of growing old.

H. Honesty is the best policy.

Photo from letsbehonestdho.blogspot.com

I. If you don't love yourself, nothing else matters.

J. Jail is bad, so don't do anything that might land you there if you get caught, mm'kay?

K. Karma doesn't have a statute of limitations. Treat others how you want to be treated.

Photo from grazesandgroanswithlifesspillsandthrills.wordpress.com

L. Laughter cures most things. So do loving and loyal friends.

M. Manage your expectations of others and of situations and you will be happier overall and less bitter about things you never had any control over anyway.

N. NO DRAMA - don't create it and don't participate in it. It's like Beetlejuice. Don't even say it.

O. Own up to your part in things and take responsibility.

P. Play the best hand you can with the cards you've been dealt.

Q. Quit blaming other people for what's in your life. Whatever is there is there until you choose to get rid of it.

R. Race the sun - have productive and full days. You'll sleep better at night.

Photo from blog.wireguided.com

S. Stand up for what's right, especially when nobody else will.

T. Take vacations, enjoy every day, and have fun.

U. Use correct spelling and grammar.

No lie, I was fortunate enough to be behind this guy this very morning. Please sir, the possessive...you're killing me.

V. Vote. It's a privilege many people in the world don't have, and one of your freedoms that many soldiers died to protect. The least you could do is inform yourself about candidates and issues and pull the lever.

W. The world doesn't owe you anything, so check your sense of entitlement at the door. If you want something, you have to work for it.

Photo from themillionairesecrets.net

X. eXtremists are bad news and tend to ruin things.

Y. You can't control what other people do or say, but you can control your reaction to it.

Z. Zen states are good.


Sayonara, amigos.

SMD