Friday stories: The Saga of Jocelyn and Jacob and Cement Shoes

The Saga of Jocelyn and Jacob A few weeks ago we discovered a dove on our owner's porch at the shore. Her mate came to visit. She had eggs. There were some close calls of swooping in and out and we decided we would evict after the babies had flown the coop as vacation rental guests need to walk by this. At some point MFD named them Jocelyn and Jacob. Welp this week I was upstairs and saw a crow come in and leave rapidly and heard lots of fluttering. I started yelling for MFD, who was inside our apartment working. He ran out, saw one of the babies was gone, and found its head next door. As we were in a dither, the crow returned and snatched the other baby and I cannot even say what that looked like. Jocelyn and Jacob sat on the electric wires and watched mournfully. It was avian mayhem and carnage and while one who reads murdery books might assume I hired the crow since I was planning to evict, I did not. We left the nest intact for a day so they could mourn. The King and the Queen went back to the green but you can never go back there again so today it is gone along with soooooo much poop. Really so much. Circle of life shit, in the same week I saw a snake eating a fish in upstate PA. I am a roving National Geographic reporter.

Cement Shoes Not more murder and mayhem, but I did step into wet concrete directly in front of my house and had to pull my flip flops out of it with my hands full of printed material, shower curtain rings, wallet, keys, phone, and Flex seal, and no one even fucking saw it. I was eyeing a crow on the sidewalk, likely the bird murderer referenced above, and walked right the fuck into the edge because no cone was there. What good is doing something so foolish if no one sees it? Not like it was new, either. I  have watched them do this work for two days immediately outside of where I sit to work. WTF! Dad and Carol were at the house but not on the porch. MFD was fishing. I yelled HEY to the guy on the corner with a constant cigarillo in a white tip clenched in his teeth who was borrowing our electric and music and had overall responsibility for the concrete work and he even fucking ignored me so I drug my wet self to the outdoor shower and hosed off my flip flops, calves, and feet. Can I just take the rest of the day off.

ALSO. Other Shit I Wanted to Include in Thursday Thoughts yesterday but my brain is a sieve and there's a lot going on

Matches. Who has a dog that eats them aside from us? Ben loves to eat matches.

Simparica Trio This is what my dogs are on for flea/tick and heartworm. I've used a lot of things over the years and this is by far the best with the least side effects. People in the southeastern PA/NJ  area (and probably elsewhere in the Northeast, ask your vet), your dogs should be on flea/tick all year now, as well as heartworm. It is not getting cold enough in the winters for the flea/ticks to die off. 

Happy Weekending!  

TWTW - the one where the light bulbs were finally replaced

Friday was Sam's Club where it's Christmas already to pick up a few items for a Saturday event, home to walk Bruce, then back out to Target to get more stuff for Saturday as well as a few grocery items for me. Thank God for the Dollar Store being open close to 10 pm as well. Amen.

Saturday Campaign office by 9:15 where Bruce acted as office manager and I sent off morning volunteers before heading home at 11:30 where I found an awesome stress relief gift from my friend Alicia.

I portioned out candy corn in jars then headed downtown at 12:45 to set up for a fall family work event I was hosting at 3 at Franklin Square - lining craft tables, setting up with some BFF coworkers, and a really nice time from 3-7 with pizza and activities and homemade awesome ice cream from Little Baby's. I got to see the carousel in the dark as I was leaving, which is my favorite. Then I got stuck in the Constitution Center parking garage because the gate wouldn't go up and had to run back in like a lunatic from the silent parking garage that was straight out of a horror movie, had a greek yogurt dip incident all over my trunk, and took a selfie with Mae to celebrate surviving a full day on my feet actively engaged in professional person mode all day. Oh and Gus's tumor burst blood and pus all over the kitchen so that was waiting for me at home too. Still a mostly successful good day but tiring as fuck.

Sunday I knew I had a lot of communications and volunteer organizing stuff to work on for the campaign with two huge weekends coming up so I stayed home to do that in lieu of going to the office or knocking doors. My mom came by to bring us sustenance including danish and pick up postcards to work on and discussed making food for the campaign office the next two weekends. I put in 10+ hours on campaign work between 10 am - 11:30 pm and in between got a little sanity back in my house like putting Qtips and cotton balls in the holders that have been empty for two weeks, replacing four light bulbs that have been burned out for over a month, doing laundry so I have clean underwear, changing sheets, washing towels, switching two drawers from summer to winter (most of my clothes don't move, only shorts and lightweight pajamas get swapped for heavier PJs and long lounge pants), packing up SUYB prize mugs to mail out this week, painting my nails (Zoya Odette), and reading a little over lunch. I have been working so much and working almost full time hours on campaign stuff too the past two weeks so it was good to stay home and know that other things were getting done too.

Weekly food prep: everything is coming from the freezer, because some shit has been in there too long and some shit I neglected to label so it will basically be a grand surprise at lunch and dinner. I did make power breakfast muffins to freeze, a broccoli egg bake, and elderberry extract.

 How was yours? Have a super day.  

Halloween. Gimme some candy.

Happy Halloween and happy Samhain. Blessed be!

We had a great time Saturday at the annual Fischetti/Ficci Halloween party. Our costumes:

I also had a great time laughing so hard I cried before we left. I was sitting in the car, and MFD was cleaning it off with a fly swatter since we couldn't locate the scrapers. Who the F expects snow on Halloween weekend? He slipped and nearly fell, and his wig fell right off of his head. Sorry people. Falling (or nearly falling) is funny.

I am off to do mundane errands like grocery shopping and picking up a prescription, because I was a lazy ahole yesterday and didn't get them done. I abhor driving on Halloween.

Be safe out there! Trick or treat, little homies.

SMD

Friday, I think I love you

TGIF, mofos. I'm not sorry to see this week go: week two of this wretched chest cold, three nights of all over body hives, two of my good friends laid parents to rest this week and I couldn't be there for either funeral, and it's been a disastrous week as a homeowner. I do not thrive in a chaotic or messy environment, so good day, week from hell. I SAID GOOD DAY.

Incidentally, that was the alternate title of my blog, isaidgoodday.com, but some wanker had it and stephaniesaysgoodday.com would mean that I was constantly referring to myself in the third person, which I'm rabidly opposed to. So, weinerwhistle weinerwhistle weinerwhistle.

Speaking of, this week's weinerwhistle award goes to Charlie Brown. I know I'm not popular for this, and I don't really care. Charlie Brown and Linus are weinerwhistles and Sally is a complete fool. I do like Snoopy, Woodstock and the music. Suck it, Great Pumpkin.

My Halloween weekend tips:
1. Have fun.
2. Be safe.
3. Don't dress up as a clown.
4. Don't have jello wrestling, it's a mess to clean up.
5. Don't chintz on candy for the children.
6. Don't bother trying to top me and MFD as Dog the Bounty Hunter & Beth from a few years back:

Favorite movie line of the week:

Hollywood, you're an asshole for remaking Footloose and Dirty Dancing. No reason.

Happy Halloween Weekend!

SMD

p.s. A spoke on my beloved Totes clear bubble umbrella broke yesterday. I had to stop at Kiddie Mart (What my Pop calls K-Mart) on the way home, and hark! They had a full rack of them. You rarely see them in stores. Hie thee to Kiddie Mart, people!

The Weekend that Was

Alas, kindred spirits, another Monday is upon us. I am in a good mood for a Monday, even though I was woken up at 6 a.m. by MFD reciting lines from National Lampoon's European Vacation in his sleep, forgot my breakfast, all the trash did not get out, two women were applying full face makeup on the train this morning, I have hives on my feet and my nails look like a homeless person's.

Perhaps someone slipped me an upper with me knowing? That would certainly account for this uncharacteristic good Monday mood.

Have some coffee and enjoy my weekend misadventures:

1. Major Project #1: Plant Bulbs.  I ordered my summer bulbs from Michigan Bulb, and on Friday I tracked them and they were on the truck for delivery, so I slated this chore for Saturday. They did not arrive Friday or Saturday. Incidentally my neighbor's new iPhone did not arrive, nor did my US Magazine. In any case, the bulbs did not get planted. Balls.

Where the F are my bulbs?

2. I took the dogs for a walk on Saturday and locked myself out of the house for an hour and a half with no phone. No neighbors were home for me to use their phone. Then MFD got home from work...he used my car on Saturday and took my spare keys...which have no house key. He did have a phone though, so we were able to get in when his sister brought the keys. Balls.

3. Major Project #2: Make Halloween costume. This did not happen for a few reasons. My name is not Laura and I am not crafty. Lack of time on Saturday due to time suck mentioned in #2 above. And Sunday I took a three hour nap instead. 

4. Every once in a while we come home to Keurig KCups with teeth marks in them on the floor near the closet where they are stored in plastic bags in a fashionable and awesome bin with no top. Sunday I left my house with Debbie only to turn around a block away because I forgot my phones. I caught Gus in the act of furiously ripping into the Donut Shop KCups. Foiled, Fatty. Mama's storing that shit in an impenetrable fortress of a bin from here on out. Add ugly bin with lid to this week's shopping list.

5. Pumpkin bars are the devil. The very very good devil with a large and fat behind from all the butter in them. I baked some Saturday morning, and between me, our nephew Drew and MFD, they're pretty much gone. Thanks to Shelby (see her blog here) for the recipe, which is super easy and listed after sign off below.  

6. Closet doors are my nemesis. I couldn't open them in the spare room so I ripped them off like Hulk Hogan rips through his shirt and will put curtains up on a tension rod like I did on my closet and the coat closet. HGTV would not be pleased, but it works for me. Closet door installation is a project to add to the Before We Sell list.

On a related note, I am full of glee over my newly purged and organized closet. I do not thrive in disorganized and chaotic home environments. Here's a tip for you people looking to organize shoes. I never knew what to do with mine. This is how I've stored them for the past three years. It's the best system I've ever used. Boxes like this are on the top of my closet and the spare closet. They can be found at Target for $2 a pop, and I buy the labels there too. Easy peasy.:

Other weekend highlights: another meal made with mushrooms, time with my nephews, sitting around a bonfire at Shady Brook on Sunday night with friends and family, more quality time with Investigation Discovery Channel, slept snug as a bug in a rug after putting the down comforter on on Saturday.

That's all, friends. Have a stellar week.

Humming on a Monday,

SMD

Shelby’s Pumpkin Bars

1 box yellow cake

3 large eggs

2TBS milk

1/4C sugar

3 TBS flour

1TSP cinnamon

1/2C melted butter

1 13.5 oz jar Muirhead 0r other pumpkin butter

1/4C cold butter

Preheat oven to 350. Reserve 1C of cake mix. Combine remaining cake mix, 1/2C melted butter and 1 egg. Stir well until mixed and press onto bottom of 9x13 pan.

Whisk together pumpkin butter, 2 eggs and milk. Pour over cake mixture in pan. Using pastry blender or fork, Combine cake mix, flour, cold butter, sugar and cinnamon. Crumble over top of cake. Bake 35-40 min or until golden.