TWTW - the one with lots of outside time

Friday was rainy and cold, but it halted in time for us to get out for a while at lunch. I made chicken, rice, salmon, and green beans (not pictured) for the weekend. My dogs start crowding me when it's time to finish work. I cleaned my apartment, painted my nails (Zoya Annie), finished a book, and started another, which had me up until 1. 

Saturday started with a 6 am wakeup and an hour long walk and a lovely sunrise. 

After that I read with some coffee, showered, went to order doors for the house, picked something up for Michelle's sister, did some small business shopping, chowed down on a pretzel, hit the porch with the best friend dogs, took a long nap, then an hour walk for a glorious sunset. 

Sunday I slept in because it was Sunday and I do what I want. I packed up because I had to make an overnight trip to Philly. I also went to the vet because I thought Ben's checkup was this Sunday and it's really next Sunday. So we bought pumpkins and hit dog beach, then I came back into the belly of the beast AKA the campaign office. Which is my entire house at this point. MFD had a canvas launch with Andrew Yang and our Congressman and another local state rep, pics from his FB page, and I made a pot roast which I actually hate but never remember until I make it. Laundry out the wazoo and we watched Scream which is about the scariest I can go as far as movies go. 

PA friends, this is the last day to register to vote. If you are already registered, please check your registration. If you need help registering or checking your registration, please comment below or email me at lifeaccordingtosteph@gmail.com.

How was your weekend? 

Why I would never tell anyone to run for office

Via

You should run for office.

We throw that suggestion out to the people we think would make a tremendous difference in leadership roles in our government. I used to carelessly toss that out to people. Then my husband ran for office - a state representative office, lower level on the political ladder  - and I don't carelessly urge others to run for office any more because I know "you should run for office" is akin to "you should throw a bomb into the middle of your own life and not care if it blows the entire thing apart."

In a system that is designed, like all systems, to be navigated most easily and successfully by people with money, the political system in America is a field of landmines to the average citizen candidate.

There are other reasons but that, in a nutshell, is why I would not tell anyone they should run for office unless they have disposable dollars. A lot of them.

There are a million run for office organizations out there right now, as there should be. My voice of dissent is a small dose of reality.

Last year taught me a lot about politics. It is inconceivably dirty on both sides, even dirtier than you imagine it to be. If you are a candidate who will not bow to the establishment - regardless of which side of the establishment you're on - you're going to get screwed by your own party. It’s you, and you are on your own with the people who join you to build a team outside of party operations. I saw it happen in my own home, and I've seen it happen to numerous acquaintances who ran/are running for political office as democrats or independents.

If the party can't control you, they are not going to throw their support behind you monetarily or bodily with feet on the ground to get your message out. If you don't have a lot of disposable dollars of your own (I’m not kidding, the state democratic party people suggested raising $300,000-500,000 for ONE small state race...multiply that by all those races across the country then choke back your own vomit on the absolute monetary waste) and are raising money from people you know, you are less likely to be what they refer to as a viable candidate with a viable campaign. You also won't get help from Establishment people up the ballot from you unless someone deems you viable. Basically do not count on anyone. Just because someone is on the same "side" as you does not mean they will help you while you're campaigning. There are of course people who will because they like you and believe in what you believe in, but don't count on it from  everyone.

Some other things you might not know...Incumbents will almost always get endorsements from organizations because incumbents usually win...they're backed by the machine which has the money and the reach and everything you don't. Some unions are absolutely not only contributing to democratic candidates who uphold the ideals of the Labor Movement. They are also donating to incumbents from a party that supports right to work in many places and they’ll tell you it’s to keep their support but it’s just a payout. There are a lot of back room deals. People at all rungs of the political ladder are grappling for power and candidates get caught in that crossfire. I have seen democrats have democratic candidates removed from the ballot if they think they are too powerful or their opportunity is too great. They will torpedo something you busted your ass to build for months simply to hold their own place. You have to run the first time to see who will put a knife in your back, where the roadblocks are, and who the players are. And that’s just in your own party, not what’s coming at you from across the aisle.

The layers of bullshit are so deep we could talk about it forever. So when people say politicians suck, I get it. I do. I haven't even gotten into attack mailers - in a low level office, to give you an example - friends in the district received more than six (that we actually saw/have proof of) anti-MFD mailers that we estimate were sent to over 10,000 people per mailing. Even if you are squeaky clean, please disabuse yourself of the notion that people need a photo of you with JS Dolls  (NSFW) to put together a campaign attacking your character. If it doesn't exist, something will be made out of nothing. Do not attempt to run for office if you have thin skin. Or limited funds and time - during the last two months on the campaign trail for state rep offices and above you'll be pushed to campaign like it's your job even though there is $0 salary and you probably have an actual job you need to do to pay bills and live.

I could write an entire book on this but it’s late and I need to go to sleep. The problem is a million fold but much of it boils down to two things: money and corruption.

Unfortunately in order to root out both, average citizen candidates without millions in disposable income who are outsiders to the system and not corrupted by power or influence MUST run for office. So I write this knowing there must be sacrificial lambs among us. Citizens United must be overturned on the federal level, dark money must be extracted from the equation, and we must support candidates who refuse to take money from corporations.

In an ideal world, I'd like every candidate to have the same amount of money to spend (varying based on level/office) and for them to actually have to get out and meet people where they are in order to campaign. I’d like no corporations, lobbyists, unions, or the FOP to be able to fund campaigns. Then no one could afford ads on TV that we all freaking hate or to waste money on attack mailers and they'd have to rely on themselves, their beliefs and plans. And real people without economic privilege would have more than a fighting chance against the Machine. The amount of money spent on campaigning is completely gross given the poverty in this country. Combine that with the fact that people from lower economic classes and marginalized communities who have the best real life experience with problems and areas where innovation is needed are almost impossible to get elected and our class system is on proud display for all to see. It’s disgusting. Don’t even get me started on the trash women running deal with.

Despite the cesspool to swim through, there are people out there committed to running the gauntlet to actually serve people, and maybe you're one of them. And I support the hell out of that despite the title of this post.

Where do we go from here? If you are not a candidate, please do NOT give money blanketly to a party organization (DNC or RNC) or a PAC that engages in shitty activities. Please tell incumbents and prospective candidates not to take money from those PACs. Please donate directly to candidates who inspire you and help make them viable. When they say your $15 or $25 matters, they really mean it. If you don't have $$ but have time, volunteer to knock doors or make phone calls or work the polls on Election Day as a friendly face to everyone coming out to vote. If you are a candidate, gird your loins.

We can change the wretched system. But it's going to take all of us, and those of us who get in need to keep promises to do away with the crap and provide a government that is for the people, not for the people in power.

Thursday Thoughts - I hid in the clouded wrath of the crowd, but when they said, "sit down," I stood up

1. When you're living through a really intense period, it's hard to step outside of it and see how much of yourself you're losing and what you're gaining because you're just trying to get through the gauntlet. When life is stressful for prolonged periods, I have a tendency to operate on autopilot through it and blank a lot out. This year has been a blur and I feel like I've lost time. I'm looking forward to spending time getting reacquainted with myself because I'm a lot different than I was in February. I thought a few weeks ago that I might not feel back to normal after Election Day because I had gotten comfortable being uncomfortable and would have to forge a new normal. I was right. Chelsea shared the image on the left the other night on Instagram and I loved it. Both images are from Morgan Harper Nichols. In those times when everything around us feels different and we have to poke ourselves to see what's changed and what's the same, it's nice to read words like this along the way.

2. In addition to enjoying being more anonymous and getting to know ourselves and each other again, we are trying to get our house in order, go through all the shit that has accumulated over the past year, and get back to a better financial place. It's a lot, and all that plus the time change has me wanting to do this most nights.

3. I still love you, but I'm not doing Christmas cards this year. The additional energy required to do the cards and full on decorating and things I typically do related to Christmas but do not actually enjoy is not energy I have to spare at this time. I'm also not going overboard with gifts because no one needs anything anyway. My holiday plan is to chill out, enjoy my people and my time, sing fucking kumbaya in a circle of peace, and feel zero pressure or guilt about anything.

4. Our new dog allegedly arrives Sunday and I have not heard when I can pick him up, etc. I am not well with it. It's Thursday! I need to make plans. I did already pack him stuff for next week. He will he introduced to our traveling lifestyle quickly.

5. There is still a firestorm coming out of D.C. daily (California criticism, missed Paris WWI 100 year anniversary, no wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier on Election Day, unconstitutional appointment of unqualified un-vetted temporary Attorney General, violation of the First Amendment kicking Acosta out, showing our ass to allies,  etc etc etc, please follow Amy Siskind's Authoritarian List) but there are some fucking awesome things coming out of DC right now too. Like watching these women go. I want them to keep being real people representing real people and forcing action from people who have been in office too long and talk a lot but don't do a damn thing.

6. Mae spends a lot of time paused on stairs because Bruce likes to wait for her at the top and she hates that.

7. Inhabiting the same space at the same waking hours as MFD again means Game of Thrones is constantly on. I don’t even watch the show yet have seen part of most episodes four times. Send help.

8. We’re headed to the shore tonight to work from there tomorrow and drop stuff off for next weekend since we’ll be going there from upstate on Friday. Packing a week in advance, may the odds be ever in my favor that I get it right.

9.  Reminder:

10. E-card of the week:

What appears after the hyphen in Thursday Thoughts is a song lyric to whatever I'm listening to when I start to write the post. This week is Growin' Up by Bruce Springsteen - I have listened to the Columbia Records audition at least 20 times this week.

No More Tuesdays

This election is over. Mike Doyle's Wife is off duty.

MFD lost. Hope for the best but expect the worst so when I tell you we are okay I mean we truly are okay. I'm not saying that to make it appear that way. We were fully prepared to lose because that is the case with many first time candidates running against an incumbent.

I told you along the way when I was not okay so trust when I say today the overwhelming feeling is relief. I bounced across Market Street towards my office this morning on less than 8 hours of sleep in the past two days smiling at nothing. I feel free. Campaign pace is terrible on the body, mind, spirit, marriage, finances, and life.

Another overwhelming feeling is gratitude - for everyone who donated money, gave time, shared advice, donated something in kind, made phone calls, mailed postcards, knocked on doors, listened to me, listened to him, showed up at an event, shared his page or posts, read any on the campaign trail related posts, made food for campaign events, let our dogs out, bought us a meal, cooked us a meal, understood when we missed an event or were there but not present, helped me with things around the house/in life that I was managing solo for nine months, ran errands, or just fucking showed up for us in any way at any time. We got support from all over and have a few new friends for life. Thanks to everyone for accepting us as we are - real people. We're not trussed up and rolled out as perfect, polished, plastic people for consumption and we never will be because it's not who we are. Fuck that.

A blanket apology if I missed your birthday, didn't respond to a text or email, or have not been present at any point in the past few months. I've tried but not always succeeded in keeping my head out of my ass.

You run the first time so you can see how many different ways you're going to get fucked by the powers that be around you and how much money they are willing to spend to keep someone who wants to change the system out. Hint: one million different ways you'll be fucked, and money spent A LOT. I need like 400 days in a very scalding shower with lye soap to scrub the dirty backhanded bullshit politics off of me.

We're not going anywhere, of course. Do you know us?

We're still out here, speaking truth to power; encouraging involvement in democracy; saying fuck fascism; calling for criminal justice reform; calling for the 1% to pay their fair share and stop breaking the backs of the middle class and working poor; smashing the patriarchy; working to root out racism in ourselves and our communities and all of our systems; standing with our LGBTQ+ people; appreciating our religious diversity; rejecting hatred and fear of anyone that is "other"; rejecting the demonization of brown immigrants; crushing right to work; demanding healthcare for all including vastly expanded mental health care, immediate and compassionate addressing of the opioid epidemic, fair funding for public schools, a living wage, policies that are pro-working family, common sense gun laws, equality and equity for women, environmental protection and a focus on alternative energy; and a host of other shit that is good for ALL of us but that my brain is too mashed potato-ish to articulate today.

If you're going to put everything on the line knowing you will likely lose, "everything" better damn sure be worth it. It is. All of those things above and more are worth it to both of us.

We are the same people we were on Election Day and the days before that, standing for what we think is right. I need you to keep standing too. There were tremendous wins and tremendous losses yesterday, but if you believe in the things I believe in, we do not stop working because we didn't win it all. We keep going. We keep doing the work. The culture of hate and fear and violence didn't happen overnight and shifting it won't either. We do not have the luxury of fading away into ourselves again. Get over it and get to work.

Don't worry, in the coming weeks I will have ways for you to help change how politics does not work for most of us right now, and how you can help organizations who are trying to change that and how you can best help candidates entering the fray for the first time.

But first for me, four days at the shore starting tomorrow. I want to tune it out and restore some balance. My other plans include drinking the appropriate amount of water, actually sleeping, eating vegetables, quieting my mind, having time off, etc. And then maybe this six months, in silence?

Just kidding, I have to be around next weekend because we adopted another dog and he arrives Sunday 11/18 from Georgia. He was originally supposed to come up 10/21.

Yes, I did that in the most intense months of the campaign and yes, it's fucking crazy. Be honest, you kind of like it.

TWTW - the one before Election Day

Friday was working from home, so before I started I was able to change the sheets and put laundry away and at lunch I got to the post office, library for drop off, and Sam's. I had a hair appointment at night with the fabulous Kristi and she changed up the color and chopped it off. I went to Target in the rain on the way home because I had a freaking lamp that needed to be returned in my front seat. I painted my nails and have no brain power to retain the names (also in an ideal world I'd take the pic after I cleaned them up around the edges but IDGAF right now), did some volunteer work for the campaign, and started a new book.

Saturday MFD didn't tell me I was in charge of snacks for the office so I was back at Sam's by 8 am, then to the office, back home, then out all afternoon with Morgan and Debbie door knocking. I missed my brother and Aubrey and the kids but did get to see Gail and Shawn after our shifts. I only saw my mom briefly as she was dropping off food her and Kate made for the day. Debbie, Morgan, and I went to Panera around 6, back to clean up the office from the day, then Debbie and I watched Heathers and The Breakfast Club.

Sunday I hit the grocery store and Philly Pretzel Factory before heading to the office. I got to see Mark and Sarah before heading out which was great. Debbie, Melissa, Morgan, and I crunched around through the leaves with a fucked up map, knocking on doors. It was nice to be with a fierce lady crew and the foliage was gorgeous.

Also fangirled like mad when Sally Kohn and Dissent Pins shared my posts in their stories on IG.

Weekly food prep: maybe next week? 

I'm off tomorrow to work the polls or whatever I will be doing from 7 am - 8 pm. I'll probably be scarce around here this week but am usually never scarce on Instagram LOL. 

What's your voting plan? When will you go, how do you get to your polling place, and are you taking anyone with you? 

Thursday Thoughts - here I am walking the block

Getting through a busy time by letting things go: I'm late changing the sheets, my dining room table don't even talk about with me, things are everywhere, my hydrangea hasn't been cut down, I'm missing replying to texts and emails, I'm late organizing Friendsgiving, I'm forgetting birthdays, nutrition is iffy. Things will go back to normal soon and until then I can't stress out about little things.

Counting the days until this election is over. 

Heading to the shore for a few days after the election and I can't fucking wait. 

Needing people to knock doors this weekend and to volunteer on Election Day, specifically at the polls. We need at least 25 people. Can you take a shift before or after work or during the day if you're off? Let me know or sign up for Election Day here. You're sick of me asking, I'm sick of asking. It's almost over. Please help if you can. I know it's not comfortable for a lot of people but we don't really have the luxury of acting from a place of comfort right now. And door knocking - most people aren't home, we're hitting dem doors, and just working through lists quickly. It's not scary, I promise. Election Day, same thing - you're basically just standing around all day., saying hello, smiling, hand out a piece of paper. I'm not sure if people think it's confrontational out there because of what we see on TV, but it's really not. We're all neighbors.

Hoping everyone knows that the root causes of the division and hatred and violence in our world right now is white supremacy and patriarchy and their close friends classism/oligarchy/greed/corruption fighting like hell to hold on and that no matter what happens in the midterm elections, win or lose you keep pushing to confront and smash those things to hell. You or your candidates win, you keep doing it. You or your candidates lose, you keep doing it. This isn't like oh they'll lie down quickly. These fucking things have been destroying the world and countries and societies and cultures for decades. They're not going easily, evil never does. Keep fighting. Take breaks when you need to but don't just give it up.

Listening to Making Pies by Patty Griffin. That's the end lyric up after the hyphen.

Appreciating the fall things.

Doing the Halloween Things. I had all three dogs out front at various points, which I never do.

Wishing my Dad a happy birthday tomorrow. I'd love to be back in Connemara right now.

Reading:  The Late Bloomers Club by Louise Miller, I just started it this morning. Last night I finished Creep by Jennifer Hillier.

Reminding the world: 

E-carding: 

What's new with you?

Linking up with Kristen

TWTW - fall n'oreaster in the house

Friday was admiring how good my dogs have it, reading a book, prepping for Saturday, and painting my nails (OPI My Private Jet).

Saturday Campaigns don't stop for N'oreasters, so I was up baking power breakfast muffins for the crew by 7 (thanks Bruce for being the alarm) and at the office by 9:15. We did some phone banking and eating (thanks Mom for cooking lunch for everyone!) and door knocking in the rain and the five minutes of sun and the more rain. We took a break in shock over the anti-Semitic murders in Pittsburgh. I seriously don’t know what the fuck it will take for some people to see how white supremacy has been given a national stage under this administration and every single official in every single office who supports their agenda. Vote them all out. This is on us.

The shore was under water but we didn’t take any in on the ground floor. Whew. So nice to have someone down there who will check for us! Karen rocks.

Debbie and I went to see A Star is Born, which was really good but depressing AF - Debbie and I were crying, the man next to us was crying, the women behind us, everyone in the damn theater - so we came home and counteracted it with The Hangover because Bradley Cooper. I couldn't tell you the last time I went to the movie theater before this.

Sunday I got eight hours of sleep for the first time in a really long time. I woke up unsure of how to be. Auntie was busy with her adoring dogs who were pissed when we left to door knock. Trees on point near the campaign office.

I was home by 3 to send Debbie back off to NJ and get ready for a VIP work event I was running at the Union League at night. 

Weekly food prep: LOL. Ramen?

 How was yours? My brain is a wet noodle and I have to be firing on all cylinders every day until November 7. 

Thursday Thoughts - you try and change me you can go to hell 'cause I don't want to be nobody else

1. I fucking love a riot of color. These trees by my house always make me stop and stare.

2. MFD finally scored a point in this season's Thermostat Wars by freaking out and putting the heat on Monday night. He came in at 73 right out of the gate and quickly fell behind in the game when it was immediately knocked back and then knocked back further when the house warmed up.

3. Philly looking lovely this week on my library walk and at the rally for Trans rights even though people should not have to rally to protect their existence. I am fucking over this bullshit. And any mealy mouth people out there going well they don't HAVE to just, shut up. Shut up. And the people saying nothing but who know trans is a thing - say something. Out loud. Shit or get off the pot. We belong to each other as human beings and we need to stand with people who are having their existence attacked.

4.  The Holocaust Memorial Plaza is finally complete. Swing by and have a look. The statue remains, this is just the addition.

5. About the attempted bombings, I'll share the statement from the Women's March team: "We are witnessing a coordinated effort to enact mass violence against political leaders and staunch critics of the administration in the United States. It is not a coincidence that these escalated acts of violence have followed verbal attacks from Donald Trump on the very people targeted, from Trump’s political opponents to a Holocaust survivor who has long been the fixation of anti-semitic conspiracy theories.

Death threats and rape threats — not to mention actual violence and murder — have become routine for far too many high-profile figures of the resistance, including every woman of color on the Women’s March leadership team. Just months ago, Vermont’s only black state legislator stepped down in a desperate attempt to stop the mounting death threats against her family.

These attempted bombings are part of an ongoing pattern of violence from right-wing extremists. The president’s rhetoric, and the right-wing extremist acts of violence that he himself has stoked, will not keep the majority of people who believe in democracy from exercising our right to free speech and taking action to defend our rights."

6. I worked from home yesterday and at lunch I ran some errands, including picking some stuff up at my mom's before mailing out SUYB prize mugs. Lola took some selfies of us.

7. Signs are in! And a little campaign life humor for you. Local friends, if you're not busy tonight come to the last fundraiser for MFD before Election Day - Thursday, 10/25 from 5:30 - 7:30 at Fergie's pub. Tickets are $35, get them here. Sign up to doorknock Saturday here and Sunday here - I'm pumped because Debbie will be down for the weekend to help, Angie and Rachael will be there, my mom is making lunch, and there will be three fierce progressive women out knocking for Mike Saturday as well - Liz Fiedler, Sara Innamorato, and Kerri Evelyn Harris.

8. When you work from home, you can wear the best clothes, mow the lawn and pick up dog poop while it's still light out, and make an actual dinner on the day you're going to eat it. I also put five bags/boxes out for Vietnam Vets to pick up this morning and started my third book this week. That hasn't happened in a while.

9.  Reminder: stay human. I see a lot of comments out there that let me know too many people are not choosing to keep their humanity. It kills me.

10. E-card of the week: and because of the above...

What appears after the hyphen in Thursday Thoughts is a song lyric to whatever I'm listening to when I start to write the post. This week is America's Sweetheart by Elle King.