Things I love doing that are free

A quick list for Friday of things I love doing that are free, with the overall acknowledgement that living in home and having pets and things and existence in general is intrinsically not free but we're going with it.

Taking in public art and murals

Sleeping with the windows open

Watching the world from the window as a passenger in a car or train

Sitting on a bench people watching

Reading library books

Listening to the radio

Exploring on foot

Swimming in the ocean

Sky gazing at all times of day

Walking dogs

Waking up every day

Looking at paint colors

Picking up extraneous information when deep diving on the internet...like traveling along the Don't Worry Darling made me love celebrity drama again path lands me on crossbow packages, or a click here on an exploration of a Glacier National Park/WA trip leads me to something about portable bridges which I continue reading about because honestly how cool, or a click here on multigrain breads leads me to senior services and this is aging I guess and around and around we go

Taking photos I'll never share or use

Writing things no one else will ever see

Wearing lipstick

Staying hydrated

Creating relatively detailed itineraries for trips I might never take

You? 

Happy Friday!

Some living conditions in my optimal existence

Groundhog Day for years at this point some days, am I right? Let's list things. Some of the living conditions in my optimal existence include

Windows open, no heat or air conditioning

Always in proximity to a clean bathroom

No petty bitches like character flaw petty bitch, only isolated I was petty today incidents

Four day work week three day weekend as the standard with everyone on earth experiencing an actual work life balance that is healthy and true

Term limits for all politicians and you have to pass an American history and government test to be one

Humid enough for my skin and throat to not be dry but not so humid I can't breathe and am sweating, shiny, and annoyed

Kindness over niceness

Produce that lasts until I'm ready to use it

No traffic anywhere, ever and also no trash on the ground, no pointless graffiti (no pointless graffiti, yes street art), and no unpicked up dog poop piles

Social media channels only work from 9-5 then they go to sleep until the next day

People in a hot hurry to exit trains and planes first would be met at the threshold with an invisible clothesline, falling to the ground and rolling around unhurt but in confusion, clutching at their spilled belongings while everyone who filed out in an orderly fashion like you should breezed through

Little bit of sun, little bit of shade, plenty of time to while the afternoon away on the porch

Returning from a beach walk with a little bag of treasures 

Adult zits are not a thing

Not a peep from the entire trump family, forever more

Never having to put gas in the car, clean baseboards or showers, waste food, or deal with water damage or car repairs

Lipstick that stays on until I wipe it off

A HomeGoods section fully stocked with interesting and beautiful things to peruse 

An endless to be read list - I'd rather die still reaching for new books than scat around for something suitable

Cuticles that maintain themselves

Outdoor showers every day 

The wealth gap cut by 60% 

Obvi equality, equity, safety, free and easily accessible A-Z healthcare including mental dental eye and substance use disorder, food, clean water, shelter, a halt to climate change and a habitable earth we don't allow to be destroyed for money, bodily autonomy, freedom, and joy for everyone in a world where people are fundamentally good. Also the death of systemic racism, garden variety racism, patriarchy, fascism, anti-Semitism, xenophobia, homophobia, ableism, all the other shit that turns hatred outward with a focused lens and makes life harder for other people, war, self harm, domestic violence, the 24 hour news cycle, uncomfortable shoes, and the videos where people lip sync and writing is on the screen

Too much to ask?

What are some of your optimal living conditions?

  

Things I'm extra glad about right now

You know how sometimes you are a certain way about things, and you consider not being that way anymore, and something happens to reinforce that you should just hold steady as you are?

Universe, I am listening.

But first...

Of course and as usual in this world, most of these things come from a place of privilege and having money. We are coming across a lot of home-bound seniors in the Philly area who are low on food right now and a lot of people who are out of jobs and already experiencing or about to experience food scarcity and organizations that will not have enough volunteers to meet upcoming needs. If you are home with extra time, look for an organization near you that delivers packaged food to the home-bound and see how you can help - something like Meals on Wheels, or in Philly Caring for Friends. Call your local Food Bank. Get on your neighborhood facebook group or your Next Door group and ask if everyone is okay food-wise and if not, let them know they can direct message you without judgement and you will help how you can if you can. Then help how you can, without judgement.

For people like me who naturally stock up if you're in a store or run out for an ingredient to make something exactly as you want - PLEASE use what you have in your house and don't buy extra of things than you normally would right now. Let people who cannot afford to stock up go to the store more frequently. Do not run out daily for things - we need to protect workers and ourselves the best that we can. Just keep thinking that - we need to do the best we can by each other. And also understand that people who are out probably have a reason to be out - they don't have enough money to stock up, they are getting something for their senior parent or a household that is ill - we have to ourselves do the right thing and trust that others are also doing the right thing and taking the precautions they need to take.

Okay, now on to what I initially came here to say.

This is not a post about appreciation for things like healthcare workers on the front lines or companies who will do whatever they can to keep their people going - last night was rough after afternoon pressers and I don't have that kind of writing in me today. This is mostly base, surface shit with some hard stuff in it. 

I grew up in an overstocked house. As an adult my house has always been overstocked and it looks like it will remain so. Over the past year I've wanted to be a person who goes to the grocery store frequently and holds almost nothing in a pantry, saves freezer room for meals that are cooked and frozen, etc. I never got fully around to that, and after the mind fuck of this and people running to the grocery store constantly, I will likely never turn into the person who has to go to the store frequently as long as I can afford to not do so. This was not me going out to buy extra coffee. This is the amount of coffee I get delivered at one time monthly, which I had upped in preparation for splitting a household and being part time at the shore.

The same goes for toilet paper, cleaning products, and hand soap. I can recall one time in my adult life being below four rolls in the house. I'm also super glad I can/am used to making cleaning products and hand soap and have stuff on hand for that, and had extra of everything in preparation for it to go to the shore two weeks ago.

That I stopped using paper towels and paper napkins and paper plates years ago. I see so many people online asking others if they've seen paper towels in stores. I always reply, "don't go out just for paper towels - if you have a washing machine use regular kitchen or hand towels and wash cloths." Crickets. People do not want to give up paper towels even though they are nearly entirely unnecessary. I get it, in a time where everything is forcibly different, we want continuity, but I'm happy I'm not stressing over paper towels or paper napkins right now. If you are, you don't have to if you have a washer/dryer.

Having four dogs. I often feel insane for having four, but they are a distraction in the best and worst of times.

That I grew up with Mom Mom and Grandmom always using things to the maximum and getting everything out of everything. I learned how to think about what to do with what I have versus lament about all the things I don't have. They taught me to really think about using things and to not let things go to waste, especially food. They were 100% anti-food waste because they had to be and that stayed with them even when they didn't have to be. It's stayed with the little girl who was always around them too. As has buttered saltines as a comfort food.

Buying peppermint tea in bulk.

That at various points in my marriage we have lived with less, been very down and nearly out, and struggled hard to hold on to what we have. Do I want to go back there? No. Who does, ever? But we've survived really hard shit before and I know we can again if it comes to it. If you have done hard things, remind yourself of that. Sometimes merely the muscle memory of struggle lessons worry for the future. We've been through things. We have done hard things. We have survived absolutely everything up until this point. We can get through more.

White boards. Living and dying by that as a household right now.

That aside from Schitts Creek and a few other things, I haven't watched a lot of TV in the past three to four years. If I find I need to zone out, the options of shows I haven't seen that most of the world has are almost endless. Movies? Forget it, I've seen even less of those in the last five years.

That I have an abundance of physical and e-books that have not been read about which I have continually said I need to work through those before I collect more...probably won't be saying that in the future.

I was committed to buying two candles at a time, but late last year stocked up. Now I'm so glad I did, because in an effort to zen my shit up I have been burning through them like wildfire. I ordered four more last week from a small shop. If I run out of something or need something, I'm trying to buy anything I can from a small business.

That I have friends who are dark humor people. I am not getting out of this alive if I can't laugh at inappropriate times, and my people aren't either. I stole this from Charlene on Instagram and I laugh every time I look at it.

That I have amazing best friends I can say anything to and can say anything to me. Texting about not great sides of ourselves last night had me laughing so hard I could not breathe and I really needed that. I really hope you have someone you can let it all hang out with. Preferably more than one someone.

FaceTime. I don't care how many chins I have, I played a game with my niece last night laying on the couch via FaceTime.

That I have always known the importance of community, and that includes everyone who reads here. Community stands together in person six feet apart or in online spaces we have made homes in. If you read this blog, you are part of my community, and I stand with you. Some of this list is heavy and some is surface, but I want you to know whatever is running through your head in this unprecedented time, you are not alone. Hang in there.

Happy birthday to our friend Blaine today. Not the most stellar March birthday month, but it will absolutely be memorable.

How are we doing today?

Thoughts on reading and books

My first book behaviors post is here, and that relates to this post in some way I guess.

1. I am no longer a buyer of books unless I'm supporting the author with a pre-order or can't find it at either library I go to. If I have a hankering to browse, I will snag used paperbacks from a local bookstore, where I have a trade in account. I used to have tons of books, now they all fit on less than two bookshelves. Unless it's an immediate favorite, I usually pass on any I do happen to acquire also. I think this has to do with wanting to own less as I get older. If I do buy it I want other people to get use out of it too. I will usually ask on here or Instagram if someone wants it and I'm always serious. All you have to do is pay the media mail postage via venmo or PayPal after you get the book and see what the postage is. Media Mail starts at $2.75 and usually caps out around 4.

2.  I know dialogue is hard to write but I truly wish every editor went through and made sure it was spoken out loud to see if it sounds true. Note to editors: real people don't speak without using contractions.

3. You don't need to like books everyone else likes or feel bad if you don't like a book, nor do you have to read a book simply because everyone else is reading it. If it doesn't sound like you want to get into it, don't read it. Reading is entirely subjective. Likewise, if your favorite books aren’t recognized in the literary world, they’re still your favorite books and that makes them amazing.

4. But some of you are fucking hard on books, man. You expect that thriller or romance to be perfection in print. Sometimes I think literary critics are easier to please than run of the mill readers.

5. It's interesting to see which five or six books snag the attention of most and circulate through Show Us Your Books. Sometimes they are not the books I expect to circulate at all.

6. Once you become a lover of written stories, you are forever free. You can be transported away simply by opening a book. I love to be lost in something while not moving from where I am.

7. I don't do book summaries...that's what the people who write the book jacket blurb do.

8. I wish books that are turned into movies would not print and sell copies with movie poster covers.

9. I have a very hard time with consistently weak and whiny female leads or any stereotypical characters.

10. I never listen to a story someone tells me and count it as something I've read. Likewise, I don’t listen to an audio book and count it among things I've read. The process and skill set for reading and listening are entirely different for me personally and the resulting experience and feeling is not the same. I am not an auditory learner in the slightest. Beyond that I can't listen to fiction, period. I don't enjoy it like I enjoy reading it and that pisses me off because I'm in the car so much. I've found I can listen to memoirs and similar, maybe because it feels like listening to someone talk and I'm not worried about missing a crucial element to a story?

What are some of yours?

The first Show Us Your Books of 2020 is a week from today.

My Beach Persona

I am a beach sitter, not a beach activities person. I don't play paddleball or other games. I don't take walks more than a block in either direction. I do walk on the beach, but only at sunrise in the summer or any time in the off-season and always with a dog or four. Not in the middle of an intended beach day.

I will help build a sand castle even though I'm not good at it.

Speaking of sand, it doesn't bother me at all. I spend more time with sand on me than without. I am one with the sand.

I'm a chair sitter, not really a blanket sitter, and never a stomach layer on-er.

I'm a swimmer. I love going in the ocean.

I'm a snacker, and my preferences are plums, peaches, twizzlers, chips, frozen grapes, and peanuts. After I get home from the beach I like to have ice cold iced tea, cucumbers and dip, and cheese and pepperoni.

I'm not a music player, I'm a listen to the sounds around you beach person.

I do not crowd others. 

I’m water in reusable vessels, pick up all trash around me even if it’s not mind. 

I'm a baseball hat wearer, not a big hat wearer. I used to try to wear the wide brim hats but have given up.

I'm an umbrella creature. I can't sit out in the sun all day anymore. I like 45 minutes to an hour out then the rest of the time under an umbrella.

I'm not a nap taker, but I will cover up with my blanket and take a rest in the afternoon.

I'm a people watcher and an eavesdropper.

I'm a picture taker.

I'm a zoned out reader who looks up from a book to find a few hours have gone by.

I’m also read while standing at the water’s edge. 

I don't wear any jewelry or makeup, but my lip SPF stuff has color if I can help it.

I'm a rabid re-applier of sunscreen and I worry about those around me that I don't know reapplying.

I'm a beach in all weather person. If I'm near a beach, I go there every day with very few exceptions.

I don't have a set time to go or leave, but I do love lingering late.

What's your beach persona? 

Things that make me low-key nervous

Not like vomit all over myself nervous...just passively, low-key nervous.

-Kids who can't swim running around a pool

-Releasing written communications

-Watching other people get embarrassed. Second hand embarrassment is real and I will often blurt something ridiculous or inappropriate to change the subject quickly

-Firing up a gas grill

-Driving over the Chesapeake Bay Bridge

-Stepping onto the down escalator 

-When I get trapped in a piece of clothing trying to get it off, especially in a dressing room

-Long hallways

-People saying, “Can we talk?” instead of just fucking talking

-Taking a public transport route I haven’t taken before

-Rickety carnie rides

-Ice breakers...no one is listening to anyone’s fun fact about themselves because they are too busy thinking of what they’re going to say when it’s their turn 

What makes you low-key nervous?

Consider it handled...or not

I can handle the hard seasons in life with what feels like barely blinking sometimes - the pain and sorrow and mistakes and fear and fighting to keep my head up and despair - living through it for as long as it goes on, knowing it will end because everything ends, good and bad. I can do hard things. I have lived hard things. I have survived hard things. I emerge from the hard seasons tested, true, changed, knowing more.

The Great Oven Incident of 2019 on Sunday reminded me that if I’m going to show my ass, 90% of the time I show my ass over the small stuff. 

I lose my whole damn mind to the point where I feel like I am standing outside of myself, watching with a mix of awe and disbelief as I perfectly execute an epic toddler tantrum over an inconsequential thing. When I commit to losing my shit, I really go for it. 

Things I don't handle well:

Appliances breaking. The Great Oven Incident of 2019 is not the first time I have dropped my entire basket over an appliance. My coworkers talk fondly nearly three years later of the The Samsung Dishwasher Debacle of Summer 2016 at the shore, which they remember so well because of my legendary, withering phone calls to the customer service department. The dryer was the catalyst a few times. The Great Heater Incident of 2015. And if the correct part doesn't get delivered for the shore hot water heater on the third try, a tidal wave of shit is coming.

Dogs on the run. If the leash gets dropped. The rare times they're off-leash and don't come when called. When Bender got out of the yard the night after we brought him home. When Gus and Geege used to get out of the gate and mosey into the neighbor’s yard. You dogs have a better life than many humans. Don’t fucking wander!

Being late. Is the world ending if I’m not five minutes early? Yes, yes it is.

Flight fuckery on the way home. When the trip is done, it’s fucking done, and the mere possibility of missing a connection or a flight cancellation makes me want to lay on the ground and pound my fists into the airport carpet. 

Loud TV. Zero to 60 in two seconds, especially if I’m trying to go to sleep.

A person stopped at the top of the steps down to the train platform. I encounter a lot of annoying things daily and am also probably considered annoying by others, but nothing makes me go all Brodie in Mallrats about the kid on the escalator like the person standing motionless at the top of a set of stairs all other commuters are rushing towards. 

What about you? What small thing makes you lose it? 

Without you in my life I'd slowly wilt and die

Dramatic, yes, but the title comes from an 80s hairband love song (Without You by Motley Crue) so there's simply no other way for it to be. I read a post on the topic of daily essentials from Steph and immediately started thinking about mine. Nothing is essential for me in the true definition of the term aside from air and water. Most of us have our own definition of essential, which falls along the line of miserable without. If I forget these things (which is very rare), I am miserable without. Can I live without them for a day? Certainly. Do I want to? No I do not.

Sunglasses. I wear them every day, sometimes even when it's spitting rain or when I'm inside. My eyes are super sensitive to light. I keep a spare pair at work and in my car, and there have been days in the past where I've forgotten them and dumped my stuff in the office to turn right around and go out and buy a cheap pair. I will simply not continue my day without them.

Book. I always have the book I'm reading with me. Always. It gets stowed in my purse even when I'm going somewhere I know it will not be read. If that's the case, it will sit on the floorboard of my car until I get back in it, then will be put back in my purse. A lot of my reading happens in five minutes here or there spurts. When I finish a physical book and I'm out I panic a little until I remember I have the kindle app on my phone in case of emergency.

Water bottle. I don't go to the store five minutes down the street from my house without bringing water with me to the car.

Phone. Not so people can get in touch with me, not so I can post on social media...but so I can take photos. I love doing it and always have. It felt so freeing when cameras on phones got good enough so I didn't have to carry a digital point & shoot with me everywhere.

Coffee did not make the list only because my true inclination is to put iced coffee, which I drink all year, but I have proven able to thrive without it out west on our National Parks trip, in Ireland and Scotland, and in South Africa. I drank regular coffee at those times and it's fine. I'm fine. It was fine. Coffee is fuel that I prefer to have, iced coffee is joy that makes my day better. Good iced coffee only though. No watery shit. See why this wasn't a point?

What are you be miserable without?

Happy birthday to my mother in law today!

How to be me for Halloween

Stole this idea from Ali last year.

Be constantly draped in dogs

Believe that as long as your nails look presentable, you are managing just fine

Drink iced coffee daily regardless of outside temps

Act like an angry wild boar for 15 minutes in the morning, totally unprovoked

Wear sunglasses all the time, even on overcast days/in slight drizzle

Speak your mind and fuck it if someone doesn't like it

Be an unapologetic feminist and fuck it if someone doesn’t like it

Get shit done 

Second guess your commuting bag every day no matter what bag it is

Do better when you know better

When life is nuts sacrifice lower priority things without guilt

Celebrate your birthday all month

Tell people what you like about them

Plan ahead

Allow laundry to sit for days

Be on time

Give your dogs people names 

Don’t own jeans or heels

Know if it matters to you, it matters

Think in list form and also in song lyrics 

Find yourself always changing the toilet paper roll in your home and elsewhere because you live under the Toilet Paper Curse

Love the hell out of the people in your circle and make sure they know it

Be an encourager

Never miss an election 

Say no

Stretch as long as possible between hair washing, sometimes taking things too far

When you do wash your hair, air dry only and no hair products

Get up to see the sunrise

Talk and laugh about poop much more than you ever thought you would as an adult

Keep a pre-made meal in the freezer

Choose the colored shoes

Refuse to share only clean, curated photos because life is not clean or curated

Consider mascara, lipstick, and under eye concealer to be a full face of makeup

Decline straws

Protect your peace 

Know your weaknesses

Walk away from toxic people no matter who they are 

Volunteer when you can and donate what you can

Never go anywhere without a book and water

Change your sheets at least once a week

Frequently misplace your keys

How would someone be you for Halloween?

Happy Halloween from this bunch of happy sunflowers. 

The kind of person I try to be

We are always learning, growing, and evolving. At this moment in time, I try to be the kind of person who

holds the door

makes the group get together to take a photo

doesn't immediately dismiss something because it's not been my experience or is not what I want to hear

eats the ice cream and doesn't talk about calories or guilt

accepts responsibility for my part in things

encourages others

acts to improve things instead of just bitching about them

shows up for people

knows when I am not drinking enough water or getting enough sleep and then tries to get more of both

gets rid of shit I don't use

speaks up about things that are important to me even if my voice shakes

says no

says yes

won't finish the book just to say I finished the book

works towards liberty and justice for all

does the right thing even when it's painful or I don't want to

knows racism, homophobia, and misogyny passed off as opinion is just plain old racism, homophobia, and misogyny

puts in a solid day's work

accepts that I will never wash my face every night

realizes comparison is the thief of joy

gives myself the grace I urge others to give themselves

is inclusive

laughs at herself

won't sacrifice comfort for fancy footwear

does better when I know better

will speak truth to power

values opinions but won't change myself for anyone

helps

doesn't pretend like everything is perfect

is loyal

cries when I feel the need

is protective of my energy and watchful of who and what I allow into my physical, mental, and emotional space

willingly shows home life that does not look like the Pottery Barn catalog

asks for help and says out loud when things are not going great

10 years ago I would've rather eaten my own arm than done either thing mentioned in the last line.

Cheers to growth.

I am not perfect, but I try every day and that's all we can ask of each other as human neighbors. 

What kind of person do you try to be? 

Likes dogs, incompatible with instant pots

One of my friends from work told me the Instant Pot was on sale a few weeks ago. I've avoided its siren song for years despite many friends loving it. During our conversation, we realized we both had Amazon credit from gift cards. After a frenzied discussion of all the glorious things we would make in it, we pumped each other up with the instant pot fever and impulse ordered them.

Before mine even arrived, I knew I was sending it back. No matter how much I want to be a person who uses an instant pot, I am not a person who uses an instant pot.

You know who uses an Instant Pot? My Fantasy Self, who I learned about from Steph. Your Fantasy Self buys or saves things your current self doesn't actually want or use. It's the part of you you wish existed but she fucking doesn't so stop getting things for her and get things for your real self.

I know myself and you know yourself. There are things I will adapt to and integrate into my life and things I will never use more than three times. I knew in my oven and stove top cooking preferring soul that the instant pot would fall into the latter. And at $90 on sale, I certainly wasn't keeping it around to test that theory.

So I returned it for a dog DNA test for Bruce Springsteen, because My Real Self absolutely is a person who uses a dog DNA test. He has super long legs and is much skinnier than a pug, with huge paws, a big face, and floppy ears. Anyone want to take a guess on what he's mixed with before we get the results back in three to four weeks?

The moral of the story: don't waste your money on who you think you are. Spend it on who you actually are. And if you fuck up and do the former, return it. Let there be no regretskies.

Peacing the F out to the shore tonight for a long stay. My dryer broke last night and I lost my fucking shit then this morning the water in my shower would come out the tub portion but not the shower head. Over real life right now. I've been Friday the 13th'd.

But people in the streets in London against authoritarianism and human rights violations along with the Queen of England suffering from bone spurs are giving me life.

See you at some point next week for TWTW and Thursday Thoughts, and they might be the same? We'll see. I will not resist the siren call of instagram so you can find me on my account & my shore instagram.

Life is a balance between rest and movement

I have never been a napper. It's not that I can't take naps. I can. It's that they are usually 2+ hours and I wake up acting like an ogre, not refreshed and suitable for public consumption. When I talk about being a non-napper, people who love the nap say things like oh you can nap just nap. Yes, I can. But I don't in the way that I avoid listening to Fox News because I don't like to do things that turn me into a raging asshole. 

For most of my life I have not been a rester either unless I set out specifically to rest - i.e. I am on the beach, there's no house work to do or errands to run. I wasn't doing anything because I couldn't do anything. Otherwise I would give myself a huge list of shit to do and not sit down until it was finished or until I ran myself into the ground, whichever came first. 

It's taken most of my life but the past two years I've finally seen the value of taking a rest because how I was doing it was fucking insane. There will always be shit to do even if you do things 24 hours a day. I had to beat that into my brain. 

Rest, though. The value of laying down or sitting still. Of just closing my eyes on the beach. Of passively reading. Of recharging. It's taken me a while to come to it but I love it. 

I still do get the work out of the way first before resting, mostly because I'm not a stop in the middle person but I don't assign as much stuff to most days as I used to so I'm getting to that rest while I am still human and not a zombie from go go go do do do. 

Old habits and thought patterns die hard though. Saturday late afternoon I settled down with a book next to a worn out dog. About 45 minutes in, I was a little restless. Maybe I should get up and put a few things away. Maybe I should go down to the beach. Maybe I should clean the bathroom. I was probably wasting my day. 

No. No. And no. I shouldn't do any of those things and I wasn't wasting my day. 

Not to mention by that time I had already walked probably over five miles total, took care of turnover between rental guests, shopped and lunched with Debbie, been to the library, cleaned up outside, put July Fourth decor up...it's not like I had done nothing, but resting when I could be doing more made me feel like I had been completely unproductive. After doing those things, rest would be a good balance. 

Finding balance is easy. It is important. Maintaining it is not effortless. I hate when I know the right way to be and I still fight myself on it.

File under: things I'm still working on.

10 things I don’t wear

Face makeup. Or makeup in general really. I don’t own any face makeup. I had some it CC cream but tossed it after using it twice in a year. When you see a photo of me, assume I am wearing no makeup. A full face of makeup at this point in my life is under eye concealer, mascara, and lip something but most days it’s only lip something. I wore makeup more when I was younger and it would seem that it should be the reverse, but what can I tell you. It's not. I like makeup and admire the hell out of my skillful with makeup friends but I have finally accepted that I am a get up and go girl and that is not going to change. I am impatient and hate wasting time getting ready. Which brings me to...

Hair products.  Also, my hair is never blow dried because I don't own a blow dryer and even when I did I did not use it. Same goes for hair products. MFD owns and uses both.

Filters. I feel weird using a filter on a photo on any platform because then when you see me in real life you're like what the hell happened to you? What you see is what you get.

Aviators.  

Sunglasses that don’t cover my eyebrows. I have a thing about it. I recently learned Aub has a thing about it also.

Headbands. I love them, they look terrible on me. I wear the cotton ones, mostly on the beach to keep the wispy hairs from blowing in my face and annoying the hell out of me but the traditional headband looks really weird on me. 

Wedding rings. I go through stages. I haven’t worn them for months. That could change tomorrow or I could never wear them again. I don’t wear any of the rings I got married with - I rotate a few under $40 rings.

White pants, shorts, or dresses.

Jeans. I don’t own a pair. I do have a pair of jeggings.

Clothes free of dog hair. Even when I'm away, I bring it with me.

See also: heels, a good poker face, and lots of different jewelry (have it, love it, don’t wear it).

What are some things you don't wear?

Oh, and an I Voted sticker...only because I never get one. I always vote, I've never missed. Today is PA's primary. How are you getting to the polls? Walking, biking, public transport, driving, car pool? 

If you need to know where your polling place is or what questions are on the ballot or your voting rights, check out Committee of Seventy's page. If that doesn't have information for your area, let me know and I'll find you a resource. And if you are in the 170th district, please vote for Mike Doyle for PA! 

And finally happy birthday to my friend Jenn today!!

Shit I've Gotten Weird About

1. Organic coffee creamer. I will go to a separate store if the store I'm in doesn't have it. In order for that statement to have weight, you should know how much I hate to make another stop for something if I'm already in a perfectly good store. I want it in my fridge yet I never even think about it when I'm drinking coffee out. I'm perfectly happy, sipping away. I know, it makes no sense.

2. The color of my coffee. Let's just get the coffee shit out of the way. If I am out and purchase coffee and it's too light, I will hand it right back. I'm paying for it. Make it my color. I'm not rude about it, but I'm getting it my color.

3. Blankets. They have become the new water/book/sunglasses, which are the three items I always have with me. I don't want to go anywhere without one.

4. Laundry powder. I used to worship at the altar of Gain. I could not get enough of Gain products. Almost a year ago I started dabbling in more earth-friendly laundry powders that could be purchased. I am not interested in making my own laundry detergent although I have tried to convince myself that I am many times. I’ve tried a shit ton and my favorites are Bianca del Mare's Natural Laundry Powder and Molly's Suds. Both are better for the environment and they do a great job of cleaning clothes. I scent my laundry with essential oils on dryer balls.

5. Straws. I carry stainless steel straws in my purse and if one isn't in there, I go without. Bruce likes them too.

6. Balance. If I feel my life is out of balance, I am Quick Draw McGraw cancelling shit or getting rid of interactions with people who suck to get it back in check. If someone tries to pushes me to do something I don't want to do because it interferes with my balance, I will push back and not nicely.

7. Deodorant. I used Secret Clinical for years and swore I would never use anything else. Never say never. Last winter I switched to Tom's Lavender. And I haven't sweat to death or stunk anyone out so I've reversed my stance on more natural deodorant.

8. Soap. I refuse to buy packaged soap. I want it made, damn it.  I usually stock up at the shore from Blue Lotus (favorites are Saltwater Driftwood year round and Satya for winter), L.E.H. Soap Company (favorites are Jersey Girl, Rosemary Mint, and Peppermint; MFD uses Gentlemen Only), or Bianca del Mare (favorites are orange blossom and sandalwood, her soaps are palm oil-free), but recently bought some from a high school friend on Etsy via her shop Green Lotus Essentials (favorite is lavender & rosemary, her soaps are palm oil-free as well). Store made soap has a lot more shit in it and lasts longer but these soaps make my skin feel better and don't dry it out. I can use them in lieu of shaving cream too. I have even managed to break MFD of his store soap dependency. That was pretty easy given that I'm the buyer of such things but he stopped whining about missing the store bought soap quickly.

9. Having too much when I know people are out there with so little. Don't get me wrong - I like my things. I always have and I always will. I'm not a minimalist or a capsule wardrober. But in the past year or so I've really started to look at what I own and why. And thinking if I don't buy things I don't need in the first place, I'll be in a better position to help more people who literally have nothing. What is life if we don't continually examine how we live and why we live that way? I am still 100% a treat yo'self woman, but I'm more mindful of purchases now...and where I make them.

10. Under eye concealer. It's called being almost 41 + this wretched trump administration, okay? When I don't use it I am The Crypt Keeper. I switched my under eye concealer methods thanks to Sara's recommendation. While I am all for under eye concealer as mentioned above, I do not filter my face in photos. And I don't wear face makeup. Here I am. LOL.

What shit have you gotten weird about?