I love you, but...

I love you, but I can't read another formulaic weekly link up blog post even if I read every other post you put out there. Sorry friends, but this goes for anything with confessions (how's that for a confession? lol) or Friday favorites in the title. Look, I get it. We all need our standards to fall back on. I always post TWTW on Mondays and Thursday Thoughts on Thursdays and I've done both for five years. Many people have asked me to do linkups of both over the years and the answer has always been no. I do not want to spend two days a week reading the same shit, my own included. It is entirely possible to bore even yourself. I can totally get down with monthly linkups where most blogs I read are similar that one day. But weeklies where the blogs I read are all similar two to three days a week, every week? It's like Stepford, everything runs together and I can't distinguish. So I just started to x them out when I see the titles. I'm not saying don't write it...I just can't read it like some people can't read weekend recaps. I used to participate in weekly linkups, and they are an awesome idea I love at first until I've boxed myself in and instead of switching it up I churn out the same shit every week. My content sucked. Repetition hides personality and I read blogs because I love small details and seeing personality through writing. I'd rather read one paragraph of something true to you than a longer post comprised of canned, impersonal stuff. I always tend to like something people feel worthy of writing about even if the subject itself doesn't interest me. There is a passion to real content that is lacking in formulaic writing. Blogs feel very basic and rote to me right now, like they're being written in patterns or because they have to be written or are supposed to be written, not because they want to be written.

I love you, but I can't deal with people who act like they are the only people in history to ever suffer from allergies and that theirs are the worst, you don't even know.

I love you, but I can't spend a lot of time with anyone who is unable to exist in comfortable silence. If you have to talk constantly, I will be cursing you in my head until I tell you outright that I just need silence then it will be awkward and it doesn't need to be awkward. Just shhh sometimes.

I love you, but if I pull up your Instagram and five out of the top nine block of photos is you, I'm scratching my head a little, thinking every single day, the photo you most want to share is one you're in?

I love you, but what you can do with snapchat filters doesn't amuse me.

I love you, but I want to know what you thought of the book, not read your summary of it. Other people are paid to summarize it.

I love you, but I will never join you in an adult coloring session. Sell the relaxation angle to someone else.

I love you, but if you're watching YouTube videos audibly, I want to punch you.

I love you, but I'm not the person you come to if you need someone to sugar coat it.

I love you, but if you need everyone in your life to agree with you, we won't be friends.

I love you, but I need you to take the time to check your spelling and grammar.

I love you, but if you are voting for Trump, we can't discuss it because I can't have a rational discussion about it.

Anything you can't stand, even when people you love do it? 

I know this much is true

Some things are scientific facts that can be looked up. Some things can't be proven, but we consider them facts nonetheless because they hold such truth in our lives. Of course, they're usually in opposition to someone else's truth. My truth is not necessarily your truth which is okay, because if we were all the same life would be extremely boring. If you need your friends to be carbon copies of you, you should rethink your life. Mean Girls is a movie, not a think tank.

Some things I know to be true...

-The beach is a good place to come to terms with life.

-No one can love you unless you love yourself.

-Using a base coat and a top coat on your nails is crucial to a good manicure.

-It is possible to have a casual, surface relationship with someone you don't like. It's called being a grown up and is required in certain situations.

-A good laugh, a long sleep, a cup of coffee, and salt water can cure most things.

-Excuses make the most stand-up people sound like assholes.

-Dogs throw up, pee, and poop on fabric surfaces over hard, easy to clean surfaces 97% of the time.

-Books will take you places you'll never go in person.

-Saying, "I'm so busy" doesn't make you cool or enviable. It means you've over-scheduled yourself.

-A person's skin color, genitals, age, political leanings, or god don't make them a good or bad person. It's what's in their heart, soul, and mind, and how they act.

-Constant cynicism is tiring. We get it, you're an enlightened skeptic. You're also draining as fuck.

-There are worse things in life than being wrong.

-Not making time for and practicing self care is not selfless, it's foolish.

-Life is not fair and the world owes us nothing except for what we earn.

-There's three sides to every story: yours, mine, and the truth.

-Wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it. Right is right, even if no one is.

-Feminism is the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. If you believe that, you're a feminist. 

-When the snorer falls asleep first, the other person gets no sleep. 

-Comparison is the thief of joy.

-Acting from a place of fear will never bring about the result I'm looking for, in any situation.

-There's bad everywhere, but there's also good. It's that way for a reason. We need the yin and the yang.

Thanks to The Girl Who Loved to Write for this post idea. 

What are some of your truths?

 Linking up with Shanna for Random Wednesday

The Honey Bunnies vs the reality of relationships

Everyone knows them - the flawless relationship people. They walk through life publicly declaring their love and happiness, as if shouting it out will make it true every day. He's so great! We're best friends! Love of my life, every minute of every day! I believe he is great and that you love your life. But I don't think you're riding the bliss train 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

So I call bullshit. There's no relationship that's aces 100% of the time. And here's a secret: there's no need for you to pretend yours is. Your relationship is probably everything you want, need, and could dream of 90 percent of the time. The other 10 percent can be ugly, but you're not alone and you don't have to hide it. You're not perfect, and neither is your partner. Sometimes you do things to hurt each other. That's certainly nothing to be proud of, but it's not a shameful secret either: we all screw up.

I'm not encouraging people to air their dirty laundry for all the world to see, and for crap's sake, keep it off social media. I'm saying it's okay to go a day without declaring you're the happiest in all the land. I'm saying it's okay to acknowledge that you're pissed off at your partner, or that you're disappointed.  It's okay to be real about the reality of relationships. When we stop pretending things are great all the time, we become more approachable. We understand each other better. We're able to help each other more. We're less inclined to judge others while trying to sweep our own pile of crap under the rug.

It's mostly women out there fronting for the benefit of other women. I think a lot of people are afraid to be real even with their friends because while they crave validation, they also cringe thinking of hearing how horrible whatever their partner did is, how their friend wouldn't put up with that, etc. They don't want their friends disliking their spouse over something they themselves are going to move on from pretty quickly.

The truth is that while we're comfortable spouting off about how we wouldn't put up with what our friend is dealing with, we do put up with other things that our friends wouldn't. While we all love to tell our friends what we would and wouldn't take, please proceed with caution. What your best friend and her husband fight about might be different than what you and your husband fight about, but the fact is this - everyone fights over something. Just make sure you fight clean and you'll get through it.We all eat a little shit. And we should remember that when we're being there for our friends. We're sometimes too earnest in rallying around a wounded bird. We cross the line and morph from a supportive sounding board to a harsh and unyielding judge.

I really try not to do that, but it is a fine line. I'm the friend people talk to when they want honesty. I'm the friend who will tell you that yes, your spouse screwed up, but we all screw up. I'm not going to hate on your spouse later for a mistake, because it's not my marriage, and because you don't want me to. Unless you get the big D, then I will hate all you want. And I am so so glad I have a few friends like that around me. If you don't have one, find one. Everyone needs one.

Because amid the fluffy clouds and happy butterflies that dot the landscape of our long-term relationships, there are bumps in the road. There are times you're not on the same page. When you're in it for the long haul, these things are not the end of the world. The every day bullshit you have to learn to navigate together can cause friction: housework, bills, who does what when, staying in versus going out, where you'll spend the holidays, if you'll have kids, how you'll raise your kids, and a million other things. Communicate, always, and you'll get by all of it.

Don't compare. Who cares what someone else has? Concentrate on what you have. Be cognizant of what powers your love machine and what you need to bring to the table to make it work. Because it is work, and it takes work to maintain a good relationship. If you've truly given it your all and it's not working, walk away. Everyone deserves happiness. But make sure you really have given it your all and you're not just being lazy about putting in the effort.

Source

It's safe to say that you'll love each other every day, but in the middle of a battle of wills, you might not like each other every day. That's okay. It's not a comfortable or nice place to be, but nevertheless it's where we sometimes find ourselves. No relationship is perfect, just like no person is perfect. I think fitting perfectly together is what's important. In a relationship, you are a unit. But there's also two individuals who are constantly growing and changing, and sometimes you need a period of adjustment to each other's changes. Life is long, give yourself and your partner some time to adapt.

Since Dear Abby is dead, I thought I'd step in and give you all an unsolicited pep talk on relationships, friendship, reality, and how the illusion of perfection goes over like a shit balloon. You're welcome.

Speaking of relationships, make sure to catch my interview with MFD, my other half, here on Tuesday. He's quite a card so I'm sure it will be a worthy read.