Hello from The In Between

That's what I've been calling where we are now.  The In Between. Still applicable: Life in the Time of Corona. Quarantine Diaries.

So The In Between, where we are certainly adrift. We're allegedly out of quarantine, but not really. Nothing is as it was before March. Not for me, anyway. You wouldn't know that in a lot of places. 

Over four months in, we have the people who have still not left their homes and judged others who have done anything. 

That’s not realistic.

We also have many who think they're the only ones doing it right, even if they're doing it like this: ANOTHER DULL QUARANTINE WEEKEND AT HOME, TARGET, CHIPOTLE, HOME DEPOT, AND OUR NIECE’S GRADUATION PARTY

That’s not realistic either.

I think most of us are doing the best we can, calculating risk and cautiously moving about in this world. There are some slip ups. There will be. This is the most realistic.

Some people are doing the worst they can,  sharing shit from a doctor that thinks demons cause illnesses and touting her as a Covid authority. Including your president and his son. 

We're at war over masks. Americans who are anti-mask (lol) seem to think this global pandemic is only happening in America. They say this is political, and planned. They cannot see the rest of the world, or they don't want to. 

We also have the mask police, who think anyone in their line of vision should have a mask on regardless of their proximity or lack thereof to other people. 

We're at war over school and expectations of teachers and students to be physically placed in situations the White House, federal and state governments, major league sports, and most companies will not place themselves, their employees, or their patrons in. I feel like constantly screaming. Yes, Karen, kids DO belong in school, and that's where they would be if there had been some sort of coordinated federal response on a level of other countries, but we are America and we bucked the system and kept having parties and refused to wear masks and here we are with a fucked up and uncertain fall looming. Thanks for that, everyone who has been kicking and screaming like toddlers. 

We think we're headed for another shut down over flu season. 

Some small businesses remain shuttered - I was in Liberty Place yesterday in Philly, and most food court restaurants are still closed, some it looks like for good - so this is still hitting the people at the lower end of the pay scale the hardest. Many people are still not back to full time or full earning potential. And the federal government has done nothing to prolong extra unemployment benefits or pivot or create jobs or fucking anything. People are still out of work with no prospects and it's not because of the goddamn Governors that are trying to keep people safe. We should have done literally everything differently in this country. Our government is failing us. The White House is a black hole. What has Congress been doing? People cannot afford to live and eat right now, and a lot of us are ignoring that so we can fight with each other online over wearing masks.

And of course people are still sick, recovering, dying, getting, spreading. We are years away from knowing the ins and outs of Covid.

We think 2020 is absolute shit but also we've learned some things and loved some things. 

Me personally? The last time I wrote about coronaland in depth was Things I Want to Remember on June 10, and if you type quarantine in the search box on the left if you're on a computer, you'll find more. I usually recall what I've written, but one of the side effects of this is not great recall. 

My brain is working better than it was. 

My mood has evened out. There's a lot less fight or flight happening. 

I've gained weight that I probably won't lose. 

I'm drinking less coffee than I was. 

I'm reading more. 

When I buy something, I'm trying to buy from a black person, black women in particular. 

I'm flexing work hours more. 

Still feeling lucky to have a job where I can work from home, and to do so for a company that's been extra great throughout. 

I'm so fucking furious at a lot of things in this country. The fury increases as we approach Election Day. Please make sure your voter registration is solid, and that you  have a plan to vote in person or via mail on Election Day. 

I'm in Philly until tomorrow, my first time since June 22 or 23. I had a dentist appointment yesterday and TODAY IS MY MOTHERFUCKING HAIR APPOINTMENT. My last one was February 26. To say I am looking forward to this is the understatement of the year.

But being in Philly itself is disorienting. 

I head back to the shore tomorrow until 8/8, when I'm back in Philly for a week with plans to whip this house into shape since I'll go back to the shore in mid-August and stay there for the fall. As of this week, my office is closed to in-person operations indefinitely - until the Governor lifts telecommuting recommendations which I don't think will happen this year. 

I've settled into a TWTW post on Monday and Thursday Thoughts on Thursday with a few other posts peppered in here or there. I always link to them in my Instagram profile and share them on FB as well. This is an extra for this week, and Frank will be here Friday to share his annual birthday blog post - his actual birthday is today. Happy birthday Fronk! 

I'm trying to appreciate the good that has come from this and just operate as best as I can. How are you doing? Really?

Thursday Thoughts - Tell the ol boys in the white bread lobby what they can and can't do with their bodies

Assembling my vitamins, and taking them every damn day, which makes me feel like a grown up.

Painting my nails with one of my favorites - OPI My Private Jet

Having a how is this my life moment Tuesday night.

Sharing Monday sunset photos too. Wednesday was awesome cotton candy skies after a stormy afternoon but I was happy to see it from my porch after a brain busting day and didn't get good photos. 

Doing that a lot lately: watching the world go by from the front porch of my shore apartment. Especially when it's too peopley, which it definitely is on the weekend. I am still not going many places, beaching at off hours, jamming on curbside pickup, getting delivery, masking up, stepping far wide of people on sidewalks, and washing my hands. We are back to living a little but we are still in a global pandemic and need to live a differently than we were. Everyone's risk/reward is different and I trust everyone with a brain is weighing those things carefully. Debbie is coming down this weekend. Kim and fam will be in town in a few weeks. Laura and fam a few weeks after that. I'd rather see my people than be on the beach at high noon, roaming Target, eating out, etc. Maybe the reverse is what is keeping you sane. When you are pissed at what other people are doing, think also about what you're doing that they might not be. There is no prize for the best quarantining. I just hope we're all being safe and doing what we can in regards to the safety of others. Like masking up when we need to.

Wondering if people who accused the government of tanking the economy over the Covid shut-down but now refuse to wear masks indoors and/or when they can't maintain six feet outdoors as we open back up know they are also tanking the economy as cases rise? Refusing to wear a mask puts businesses where there are mask mandates indoors (and there should be, everywhere) in untenable positions. Not to mention 1) you are now the ones who are going to tank the economy forcing another shutdown - if you are that economically motivated, here's something pertaining to Goldman Sachs and the economy of masking and 2) It is such a small, simple thing to do. This is a GLOBAL pandemic. We are the ONLY country in the world that has been unable to manage this. No one else is bitching and whining about masking up, thinking it relates only to their country, or about politics. We are still in slow the spread mode here. How do people think shazam the virus is gone when we never fully shut down? Come on people! Act right!  Those who do not want to wear mask could take their own advice - if they don't feel safe out in the world wearing a mask, they can feel free to stay at home as the rest of us try to navigate the world as it is right now. DO YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO FULL LOCKDOWN? NO? Then wear a mask when you are in stores and outside in public with people outside of your group in areas or situations where you can't maintain six feet of distance. Always have a mask with you. They are the new sunglasses/water bottle/keys/wallet. Thanks, bye.

Recommending Aunt Mary Pat's most recent video on the cornteen 15 which is fucking hilarious (non Philly-area people, that's a solid accent),  this video of the black lives matter marches in every state, this powerful OpEd You Want a Confederate Monument? My Body is a Confederate Monument; What to the Slave is the Fourth of July? (full speech by Frederick Douglass here); author Kimberly Jones on David Jones's video How Can We Win talking about how black people are related to economics in this country using an example many people should be able to relate to and how we have broken every fucking social contract we have.

Reading number 7 in the Will Trent series by Karin Slaughter, who liked my tag of her on Instagram causing me to squeal with glee. Author fangirling is my favorite fangirling. Show Us Your Books is Tuesday. I should finish the Will Trent today, then I have eleventy billion other options at my fingertips, both hard copy and electronic. I'm not sure what's next. 

Forgetting, all week, that we are closed in observance of the Fourth tomorrow. MFD is heading home to work today and I am planning on just fucking off doing a lot of reading and nothing. Holler. 

Using whatever I can get my hands on to tame this hay bale hair 

Eating a Monday night pick me up

Hoping you're all committed to voting these people out in November. Also, go ahead and tell me they don't resemble each other or they didn't know, then attempt to live a life where you have any integrity. I dare you.

 

Listening to March March by The Chicks - have you seen The March March video? Powerful AF and very well done. Lyrics that come after the hyphen in the post title are from that. 

Reminding you

Laughing because it's me, on the porch

What's new?

Linking up with Kristen

Kids at Home: finding fun during quarantine

Being at home for a long period of time is hard on all of us, and for kids especially this time in our lives has been confusing and difficult to handle. I've been sourcing info for coworkers to keep the kids occupied when typical entertainment avenues may be unavailable. Some of that includes:

Have a pamper session 

It’s not only you who can enjoy a good old pamper session, the kids can benefit from this too! A good pamper session can be great for your well being and health and great for your kids too, and you can use your own natural remedies. 

For skin: a mask made from yogurt, honey and avocado is perfect and okay for everyone's skin.

For eyes: some aloe vera gel on a cotton pad under the eyes is great. Cucumber slices on the eyes are refreshing and it will provide great care for the eyes stopping you from needing to buy kids glasses. 

For hair: some coconut and olive oil works as a hair mask. 

Nail painting is always an option and obviously a favorite of mine. Depending on your kid's age, you can do that too. 

Get baking 

There’s nothing better on a boring and rainy day than baking in the kitchen, and the kids can get creative here too. Why not create some easy shortbread with a 1:1:1 ratio of flour, butter, and sugar? You can decorate these with whatever you want or even make millionaire shortbread with caramel and chocolate. The kids will love being around you in the kitchen and they can learn a few good skills too. 

Teach them cooking skills 

Speaking of skills, one great opportunity during quarantine times is to teach the kids some simple cooking skills. When they get older, your kids will need to know how to prepare simple meals and it is important for you to teach them these skills early. You can teach kids how to cook rice, pasta, and how to cut certain fruit and vegetables, depending on age and skill level. 

Make a fort 

What’s one of the best ways to spend a day in isolation when you have children? Build a fort! Go on and grab every blanket and cushion in the house and start getting creative in your living room. This paired with some snacks and a few movies, maybe a flashlight or two and some books is the perfect way to have fun with the kids this week. 

Grow your own plants 

If you have been hoping to spend more time in the garden during quarantine, you have a great opportunity to do this now with the kids. You can get hold of some flower seeds such as marigolds or sunflowers and let the kids sow the seeds and look after them. Lots of tiny lessons about life and science during the time it germinates and grows, and once the seedlings are big enough you can plant them out in the garden, allowing your kids to feel the pride of having their own plant in the garden. 

Have a treasure hunt 

If you have more than one child it can be especially difficult for you to keep them entertained for a long period of time over quarantine. A treasure hunt can be the ideal way to keep them occupied for a few hours and give yourself a little bit of peace! When it comes to treasure hunting, you can place a prize such as chocolate or a present at the end for the winner with some backup treats for the other kids a treat too. There are a lot of resources online for this right about now. Thank you for always giving, Internet.  

Get arty 

Arts and crafts can be a great way to spend time with the kids during quarantine, and they can get super creative for hours. Lay out a table with all of the paper, paints, glitter, pencils and other art supplies you have, and to make things even more fun you can write the names of animals in a hat and allow the kids to pull them out so they have an animal to draw or paint. There are also places that are doing online art at certain times during the day via their social media channels. You can find a lot of videos on this page. 

Try DIY

If the house is looking a bit boring at the moment, why not bring the kids along  on a DIY odyssey? Get the kids involved and allow them to help paint the walls and rearrange the furniture in their own bedroom, sort through books, anything that will hold their attention based on age. It will be a good way to spend some hours and also will make the house feel brand new.

Tips for me to pass along to my peeps?

Happy Wednesday!

Maybe tomorrow

Most days I have intentions of sitting down to write a blog post or to dabble in my offline writing notebooks.

Then I get up early and I get lost down on the beach walking longer than I expected to, or I try to get some housework in before work.

Or I sleep in until the last possible second before planting myself in front of my computer...take a long walk at lunch and sit outside instead...put my computer away at the end of the workday, unable to look at it for another minute and desperate to get outside for some air.

Sometimes I have a minute but I'm not sure what I want to write about or the words don't come. The first time I remember that happening was when I was working on my Young Authors submission in first grade. If I was in Philly, I'd dig that baby out and put a picture right in here for you.

I  hate that feeling and I always have, because what it feels like is failing at something you know how to do. And when it happens many days in a row, it feels like losing something about yourself, losing an instinct, that you think will come back if you work hard enough even though creative blocks have very little to do with hard work.

I saw something from Glennon Doyle on Instagram Sunday: "I have not written a word during quarantine. Just a reminder to worried artists - there are times for creating and times for becoming the person who will create the next thing. For many of us, this is a becoming time. Rest and become. Love you."

I felt that deep in my bones. Every ounce of creativity I have in reserve has gone to my job, because I'm getting paid to do that. My personal creativity, I'm just watering and feeding her for now. If you are having trouble creating in your way of creating right now - there are so many of you out there who are creators in some way but don't consider yourself as such - I hope you know resting and becoming are not failures at what you know how to do. They're preparing you for what you'll create next.

Maybe tomorrow. Maybe not. But definitely again.

Reopening is what will drive me off the internet

It's been a long time since I skipped a Thursday Thoughts, which happened yesterday. That standard weekly blog post and TWTW are usually ones that carry on through vacations, etc. Yesterday I full out forgot it was Thursday until almost 2 pm. If I don't have a post written before or in the morning, I would usually do it at lunch, but I forgot about lunch too yesterday until I was hangry. It's been a forgetful week. 

I have not forgotten to stay off the internet. I'm doing that more than ever. 

I'm doing that because you literally cannot fucking win, no matter what you do or don't do. I swear the reopening of this country is what will drive me into myself because people are fucking ruthless about other people. Just absolutely ruthless. This coming from someone who has dabbled in over four years being anti-trump and anti-MAGA and gone toe to toe on that about a million times. I have found haven amid people with beliefs that align with mine. Corona Land is splintering even that. 

I am sick of the People Police judging other people for existing. When protocols are relaxed in their states/municipalities and people start doing things, other people do not fucking like that and they make it well known. I get it. You disagree. I also believe in science, but I know where I live. In a country that will not allow for the most caution to be taken. All of these things do not change the fact that people are going to do what they are allowed to do and they are going to do what capitalism demands they do. They're out there licking doorknobs and coughing on people? Threat to public health. They're out operating in line with the current restrictions but not in line with what I'm personally doing? Nah. There's not an award for best quarantiner. There's more than one person doing this right. We're all constantly weighing risk vs. reward and have been from the start. 

I wish people would channel communications and anger at the fucking government who completely fucked this eight ways to May from the start. Yes, this means you too, people on "my side." Complaining on the internet is not calling your government representative every hour. If you want everything closed for two years, talk to the government about freezing everything and providing economic relief as well as testing and free medical care to ALL people, adequate PPE without a fucking bidding war to ALL healthcare workers (as well as those in other essential industries) as well as whatever fucking state they're in - blue or red, free masks for those who cannot afford them or make them, and a hold on businesses who cannot operate as essential with no penalty or taxes or evictions or any damn thing. 

And at this point...it's too late. That shit should have been done from the start along with a million other things the federal government failed at. Don't how would we pay for that at me either. We fucking have it. 

And. My people have forgotten something very important in all of this. 

Stay Home is a privileged concept, especially if you are staying home and still have one or two full salaries, work for a company that enables work from home and will continue to, have the ability/provisions to work from home, have savings if that is not the case, do not work in a business deemed essential (raise your hand if you live in a state where you are surprised at what was deemed essential - beer distributors? weird), don't own a small business your entire life savings is tied up in, are a citizen entitled to unemployment benefits, live in a home without any type of abuse, live in a home with a dedicated outdoor space, live in a home with a yard where you can see family and friends, and can still afford food which has gone up by at least 20% and is unlikely to come back down etc etc etc. So, yeah...people who live in 500 square feet with no outdoor space and have been out once a week are absolutely going to go to the park or beach when they open. People who work in nail salons are absolutely going to go back to work when they can because they can't afford not to, and people who get their nails done will support those people because they want them to survive, too. Likewise, as things open, people with compromised immunity need protections and, yes, likely economic support. 

Am I saying everyone do whatever they want? No, of course I'm not. Do you know me? But putting people on blast for operating within the protocols is a complete misdirection of our collective energy. Especially because unless the government freezes everything and provides for everything there is no outcome that is good for all people. Not one fucking outcome. There is risk in everything aside from that thing where everything is closed and everyone is looked after health-wise and economically until this is under control. Which we have seen will not happen. Not with this government.

So, onward. Only the road to onward is full of hellish judgement from everyone about everything. 

 What I have feared all along is happening - people are afraid to leave their homes when restrictions are lifted, which is understandable and absolutely fine, but they are freaking out because other people do not have that fear. And people who are not afraid are fucking furious that people are afraid. People leaving their homes to do what is essential to them or support small businesses they deem essential are judgmental of others doing the same, as if everyone is doing it wrong except them. As if they are the only ones with the correct intentions and essentials. I have seen people post things online shaming other people then in comments refer to doing the exact thing they were shaming people for. Whaaaaat. As if only businesses they patronize are essential and worthy of surviving this. Stop. You cannot lash out at other people  who are operating correctly in the world as it is at this time, mindful of space and their own immune systems and yours. They're not making the rules. The government is. 

This is a public health crisis we will not fully understand for years until it can be studied by scientists. In the meantime, people are not going to stay at home for two years because as mentioned above, it's not possible here, and by all accounts, that was not the intent - the initial shut down was meant to flatten the curve and not overwhelm the hospitals. 

So now we have people who want everything shut down until there is a cure, people who will not get a vaccine when one becomes available, people who are ready to get back to living hut adapted with new protocols, people who refuse to adapt and want to live the old way, people who want safety guarantees for something we don’t even fully understand, people who are rejecting science because it is not working quickly enough for them, and people who think it’s a hoax or man made. 

And everyone thinks they're right and it is fucking exhausting. 

On one side there's people screaming about reopening every damn thing and I don't even know what to say there. On the other side Governors who have been lauded for their lockdown policies and listening to science and healthcare professionals are slowly re-opening their states and the same people who lauded them are convinced those governors are no longer listening. What? Where are we right now where we believe what we want to all the time, and stop believing it when it no longer feels comfortable for us personally? On both fucking sides. Both fucking sides. 

Spying on neighbors and photographing them doing things you don't think they should be doing and all sorts of other bullshit is very reminiscent of a lot of bad history. It fills me with rage and a deep, deep disappointment. If you are so concerned about how people are behaving and have nothing better to do, turn your energy to the government and ask where the tests are. Where the economic support for all people and businesses is. Don't fucking turn on your neighbors because you think they're making the wrong choices when the choice has been opened up for them to make. 

People can be taking this seriously, worried about the economy, grieve the loss of life as we knew it, be out in public, be afraid, support healthcare workers, support small businesses, AND STILL DO THE RIGHT THINGS. All at once. Do some people not give a fuck? Sure. Are there more of us who do? YES. 

It's all just too fucking much. I can't get through this period in time sitting in judgement of people doing the best they can with what they have where they are. I just don't have it in me to have a worldview where only I have good intentions or an acceptable impact and believe the majority of people suck. That's not me. And I can’t watch other people do it either. I need to come out of this with my sanity intact and if that is with a smaller online circle, then that's what it is. If you need to remove me from your circle because I'm not participating in this online stoning, that's okay too. We all have to do what we need to do to come through this. 

Whew. Sorry. That was a lot for a Friday. Since I missed Thursday Thoughts, this is the week in pictures. I've been sitting on the porch, looking at my plants, hanging with the fam, walking on the empty beach before dawn, spray painting and organizing shit, making one of the only crockpot meals I like thanks to my sister-in-law, working from home while the dogs sleep from home, catching bay-side sunsets, checking out provisions the shore is putting in place for reopening. 

Oh. And Corona Land...but make it fashion.

Happy Friday!

Thursday Thoughts - Things are bound to be improving these days one of these days

Watching UnOrthodox, Hollywood, A Secret Love. We're on episode five of Hollywood. Also the Parks & Rec reunion. I thought it was nice of those people to get together and do that. I love and miss the Parks crew.

Talking like Leslie Jordan. Welll shiiit. How y'all doin? I hope you're following him on Instagram. He makes me laugh every day.

Reading slowly still in quarantine. Show Us Your Books is Tuesday!

Riding in cars with dogs. 

Considering getting a more ergonomic chair to work from home. Do you have one you love?

Collecting flip flops on the ground floor. I keep coming to my desk and kicking them off then there they stay.

Cracking the fuck up. Fucking unboxing videos

Needing to paint my nails, change the sheets, put laundry away, pack up returns, get something printed somewhere, get a plant in the ground before it dies, etc.

Eating taco salad. The best part of making tacos for all is crafting a delicious taco salad. Big into salsa verde right now.

Listening to These Days by Jackson Browne - lyrics behind the Thursday Thoughts

Receiving a lipstick in the first week of May that I ordered last freaking year to support the Women's March.

Disbelieving that so many people are sharing fucking YouTube videos on goddamn pandemic conspiracy theories during Nurse's Week of all weeks. Humans are egotistical as fuck thinking nothing occurring in nature could take us down. You dumbasses. It's a novel virus. IT'S NEW. It has to be studied and understood. That doesn't happen in six months. Science is actually real, which some of you have forgotten in your years studying as facebook experts in microbiology, etiology, all other science-related fields, as well as politics and the Constitution because you are well rounded know-it-alls if you're nothing else. And no, it's not a conspiracy that the quack video keeps getting taken down. It's getting taken down because it is dangerous misinformation that can lead to the death of others. It's being pushed by trolls and you're fucking doing their work for FREE. This is how fucking bad it is - YouTube rarely removes ANYTHING. That is how fucking stupid and bad the idiot video is. So do not post it and say you're just "putting it out there" or whatever the fuck you want to hide behind as the reason for posting it because what you are DOING is spreading FALSE INFORMATION that could get people KILLED. Do not post it, share it, like it. Just fucking don't. Whether you think it's overblown or not overblown, a lot of people are dying from this and I don't want you to have to know someone who dies from it to take it seriously. And yes, I do know the economy is suffering. Believe me, I know that in my own home with my spouse not being allowed to work and making $0 and receiving $0 in unemployment thus far. Just stay in your fucking lane. You don't need to solve this one from your keyboard in your home. You fucking think your tin foil hat is tapping into a frequency of a worldwide plandemic? Come the fuck on now. Stop. It's embarrassing as a human.

thanks for the image Nichole

Appreciating nurses this week and every week, and teachers too. Why do nurses and teachers have to share an appreciation week (nurse image is day, but it's week this week too)? It seems extra important that they get their own time going forward LOLOL. Every time a loved one has been in the hospital it has been nurses that have kept them going with excellent care and knowledge and provided support to family members. And my life would be extremely different without the tremendous teachers I had throughout with the exception of a very few. Sometimes the only thing some kids have are teachers who care - this job is so important. They both are. Pay them more.

Loving this photo my cousin Rob found and sent to me

Thinking I was a little ahead of myself here. This came up last week and I didn't start a blog until 2011.

Wondering when I'll even be on a train next.

Reminding you

Laughing at an oldie but a goodie

What's new?

Linking up with Kristen

Thursday Thoughts - Feed the flame 'cause we can't let go

1. I start most mornings outside now and I freaking love it.

2. Outside is the true quarantine MVP. 

3. Outside and dogs. 

4. I wrote this post yesterday about struggling with productivity outside of work most days and fucking killed it today from the start. If that's what it takes, I'll write a post like that every damn night. Just kidding. I know I am working in cycles right now and today's triumphant return to productivity is not the standard, it's just the lucky day.

5. Me: I hate everything cherry flavored except sour cherry dots. Also me every afternoon without even realizing it:

6. Nails: Essie One Way for One. Love the color, meh on the name. 

7. It's been a long time since I've seen gas under $2.

8. Good stuff is happening too. The sectional for our shore apartment that it took us four years to decide on and buy at the end of February that was supposed to be delivered March 20 finally got delivered this week. The shower replacement (cracked shower pan and virtually nonexistent sub-floor that MFD patched up which lasted through last season on a wing and a prayer) we put the deposit on in the beginning of January and some other plumbing work necessary in a 120 year old house got (mostly) done this week too. The sectional takes up a ton of space in the apartment so everything will be reorganized down there in the coming months and I'll do before and after pics of that space and the bathrooms but this is it for now. Also why are the pillows that come with couches always so butt ugly?

9. Reminder: There's always time for feminism. Maybe more acknowledgement and recognition of unpaid labor will come from this. Also if you disagree or want to immediately interject with "men do stuff too," bye, forever. I'm not wasting the energy with you.

10. E-cards...

It's the last day of April. Not too sorry to see this month go.


The words following the hyphen are the song I am listening to when I start the Thursday Thoughts post. This week is Circles by Post Malone