Five ways to support veterans

Every day is the day to support our veterans, not just November 11. Here are some ways to do that, please share your ways in the comments!

1. Donate your things - If you are purging your house, contact Vietnam Veterans of America to schedule a pickup. They are a great organization offering critical support service for returning veterans and dedicated to improving the general welfare and hospital care of all veterans, especially homeless and disabled vets.

2. Donate your money - Hope for the Warriors, Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America, The Gary Sinise Foundation. Donate Your frequent flier miles via the Fisher House Hero Miles Program.

3. Lend them your voice - call your government representatives at every level and ask what exactly they're doing for veterans. Hold their feet to the fire. Pressure them to take care of the people who put everything on the line for this country. Make sure they follow through on what they tell you - words don't mean shit from these people. Actions, specifically how they vote on veteran affairs, do. This is bi-partisan, so call them all.

4. Help them share their experiences - The Library of Congress is collecting stories of veterans of every war for the Veterans History Project. If you know a veteran who has a story they'd like to share, check it out.

5. Be a human - If you a vet who is homeless or know one at the risk of becoming homeless, call 877-424-3838 to reach The Department of Veteran Affairs' Stand Down program 24/7. If you are a vet struggling emotionally or mentally or are potentially suicidal, call the Veterans Crisis line at 800-273-8255 and press 1 or text to 838255 24/7. You can also chat online. Contact is confidential. If you know someone struggling, please keep the number in your phone and be ready to give it when you see it might be needed.

MFD is a representative for the Homes for Heroes program, so when he represents someone in a home buying or selling transaction who has served our country in the military (active/reserve/veterans or law enforcement, firefighters, healthcare professionals, EMS, teachers), he donates part of his commission so they are presented with a Hero Reward after closing, which amounts to money back in their pocket. If you know a veteran buying a home, tell them to hook up with a Homes for Heroes affiliate. We also give $100 off to any veteran who rents our shore house for the week and I make 95% of my physical donations to Vietnam Vets. These are things we figured out that we can do based on what we have to offer right now. Think in terms of your life and ask yourself what fit is right for you. It's all about looking at the world around you, finding out what is important to you, and doing what you can, with what you have, where you are.

What you can, what you have, and where you are will change many times in life. Adjust accordingly, but never think there's nothing you can do for someone else, particularly someone who has put their life on the line for this country. When the what you have doesn't include money to donate, you'll probably find that you still do have time and effort that you can spare. Some years you might have the money but no time. At the end of the day, we all have something to give, even if it's a smile and a thank you in passing on the street.

Let me know if you have any resources to add!

I can't sign off without saying Happy birthday to the United States Marine Corps. Thank you for being so badass and selfless.

And happy Friday to the rest of you.

Thursday Thoughts - with a shiver in my bones just thinking about the weather

1. I have issues with the time change in the spring, but I have been killing it in the mornings this week because Bruce gets up at 5:00, which he thinks is 6:00. Full dark by 5:15 pm is hard to bear though. Why do we still do this?

2. Gather 'round, children, and let me tell you a story of a first world problem: last week I got an email saying Amazon Fresh is no longer delivering to my area after 11/30. I've tried other grocery delivery services, and I will go back to one of them and also try Fresh Direct, but what I loved most about Amazon Fresh was the ability to schedule a delivery I did not have to attend. So I could wake up to groceries on my doorstep at 7 am or come home to them waiting for me at 7 pm. Damn you, grocery delivery world. If you told me in 1998 that I'd be bitching and picky about grocery delivery in 2017, I would've laughed at you.

3. What are you reading? Show Us Your Books is Tuesday! I started three books this week and discarded them all because I only want to read the books I'm getting from the library Friday (The Last Mrs. Parrish by Liv Constantine and Beneath a Scarlet Sky by Mark T. Sullivan) and the ones coming from Book of the Month Club (Bonfire by Krysten Ritter and Turtles All the Way Down by John Green). Impatience kills. I did settle on The Seven Rules of Elvira Carr on my kindle for now.

4. I crafted shit last night. Who am I? I consider myself both not interested in crafts and not creative. But the craft was painting a freaking CERAMIC CHRISTMAS TREE of the kind that I am obsessed with. I think this is like number nine or 10 in my collection? I will count this year. It was a good, fun, funny Wednesday night with girlfriends. Thanks for letting me crash your event Lauren, Jill, Dot, & fam! And thanks to Dot for securing the tickets.

5. Sad news for Philly fans this week. We claimed you as our own Roy Halladay.

6. Eat 10 dicks, guy who referred to himself as Virginia's "chief homophobe." I needed this Election Day. The resistance is real. Lots of wins were historic: Andrea Jenkins is the first openly transgender black woman elected to City Council in a major U.S. city - you go, Minneapolis; also in MN St. Paul elected its first black mayor; NJ elected its first female black lieutenant gov; Charlotte, NC elected its first female black mayor; Framingham, MA elected its first mayor since becoming a city, and that mayor is a black female; Manchester, NH elected its first woman mayor in the city's 266 year history; Erie, PA has the distinction of electing the first openly transgender person in the state to its school board; Hoboken, NJ elected the first Sikh mayor; Elizabeth Guzman and Hala Ayala defeated incumbents to become the first two latinas elected to the VA House of Delegates; a refugee who arrived from Liberia 23 years ago is Helena, MT's first black mayor; Seattle elected its first lesbian mayor - and the first woman mayor in 92 years; Kathy Tran, a Vietnamese refugee, became the first Asian-American woman in VA's House; Lancaster, PA, has its first latina member of city council; Philly elected an extremely progressive anti-mass incarceration DA in Larry Krasner...on and on. I am thrilled to see more women, more black and brown people, and more LGBTQIA people in offices. I want diverse people of all backgrounds at our tables. Rooms full of older white men do not fulfill that desire. Look at the photos below of the before and after of the VA house seats flipping. The difference is incredible. Women are stepping up to lead and I applaud them. Especially the black women who have been stepping up for years in communities with no acknowledgment. A staggering 91% of black women voted for Northam to take the VA Gov seat. Thank you, ladies, for not voting against your own interests. You lead, I will follow. Trust black women.

7. I have a hair appointment tonight, and seriously not a moment too soon. The grays are nuts. Probably because of things like MFD not going through his paper hoarding boxes or things like the most recent slide into authoritarianism list or things like...

8. Another mass shooting, barely any coverage since the shooter was white. White people! Stop blaming black and brown people for ruining this country. We're doing it. We are content with doing nothing? We don't even want to TRY a study on gun violence? Did people recognize that thoughts and prayers are not a fucking solution to the cycle of every two months/mass shooting so they just stopped mentioning it at all?

9. Reminder:

10. E-card of the week: I keep looking at messages and responding in my head but never actually responding. What the hell. 

I feel like I just ran a race. No slowing down until after midnight tonight for me. 

TWTW - the one with the chill

Friday night was a slow mover, I packed up and sailed down the shore for a 9:30 arrival. Saturday I read, painted my nails (OPI Black Dress Not Optional), made some daily shower spray, took myself out for coffee, road my bike all over town, and took the dogs to the beach. Gus had a sidewalk shitting incident that I cleaned up with leaves and my hands basically and during the cleanup a man thought it would be a good time to come close with his dog and make conversation while Gus and Mae went nuts and the puppy cried. Laura and Chris arrived late afternoon and we had lunch at Jon & Patty's, walked the boards with Bruce Springsteen, sat on the beach, and had dinner at Luigi's. My pizza is aglow in the neon window lights but it was freaking good - all manner of Italian meats on a pizza with sharp provolone and broccoli rabe. 

Sunday morning we hit the Sunrise Cafe for breakfast before they were off. It was so good to have facetime with them even for a short time just bumming around unshowered. They wouldn't even let me pay for a meal. When they left I cleaned our apartment up a little and rode my bike to the library before packing it in for home. It soothes me to be in a relatively empty quiet shore town off-season even though the weather both days was different than the forecast. Hashtag should've been a weather person.  

I was home at 2 with the laundry and food prep and dishwasher going shortly after. Weekly food prep: breakfast is crockpot breakfast casserole from Steph only I made it in the oven and cut the potatoes; lunch is spinach salad with walnuts, cranberries, feta cheese, and red onion with an olive oil and balsamic sauce and a squirt of lemon (made nightly because I hate when shit sits); dinners are maple dijon chicken thighs over rice with steamed broccoli (planned on making Sunday but someone who shall remain nameless did not defrost the chicken thighs as requested) and baked chicken breasts served with butternut squash. Snacks are honey crisp apples and cherry and vanilla noosa yogurt. I'm also making healthy three ingredient flourless pumpkin brownies with this frosting that I saw Amy share on IG. 

Sunday night we went to the Peace Center Gala. A few months ago I was like hell yes but as Sunday early evening rolled around I was like whyyyyyyy. I'm sure some of you feel me on that. MFD was a sponsor though and the Peace Center is a freaking phenomenal organization that does such crucial work in the Bucks County community. It was a wonderful event. If you're not familiar with the Peace Center, I urge you to check them out. They put on workshops frequently. Unfortunately Bucks has recently had a spike in hateful acts like the N word on school signs and carved into cars and rampant anti-semitism. The Peace Center responds to these events and helps support and heal the community. They also do a lot of work in schools with bullying prevention.

How was yours?

Neighborhood facebook groups are on my last fucking nerve

Neighborhood facebook groups are on my last fucking nerve recently. They've degenerated from places to share info or ask questions into places to bitch incessantly. Those who live in the neighborhood and have no lives hang on every post to add their two cents, even when their contribution is off-topic, and the next thing you know there are 590 bullshit comments.

I swear over the past three months for every 10 posts, nine of them are negative. And in the comments of the one positive post lurks someone trying to turn the conversation towards the negative because they just can't help themselves.

People seem to spend 97% of the time lamenting over how things are changing and it's everyone else's fault but theirs, 3% of the time ignoring what posts are about and going off on their own diatribe, and 0% of the time thinking of what they could personally do to make their communities better places. Sweet Jesus what a positive impact it would have on the community if people acted with as much fervor as they posted. Reminder: posting on the internet in private groups doesn't count as working hard to be a good member of your community.

There are a few types of people in these groups. The person I hate the most is the one with big internet balls who acts tough and calls people out online instead of knocking on their door and discussing things like adults do. You know, those if you have a problem, you know where to find me people. All the eye rolls, you attention whoring idiot. The person on these sites I love the most is the one who is a comedian in the comments and who keeps up neighborhood running jokes. We need someone to lighten things up and you are heroes.

I'm on a page for our neighborhood in Philly and one for the shore. I literally spend most of my time reading them with my mouth agape. People are fucking crazy and judging from what they post, they don't care who knows it. I have to watch my consumption of these groups because too much has me hating my neighbors and where I live. Don't get me wrong - I know the comfort that comes with commiserating over a common problem, but when it tips too far into everything is a problem and we're all going to die, it's time to get out.

Is this everywhere? Does your neighborhood have one? Does good come out of it or is it Debbie Downerville?

We have so much.

Fresh off of a weekend chock full of food and family and shopping for most of us, we are checking in online on our computers, tablets, smart phones. We're likely somewhere warm, having some coffee, in comfortable clothes. We live an abundant life.

If we have a list of needs, they're likely actually wants. When we say we need it, we know we're exaggerating. Most of us have no idea what it's like to truly be in need of water, food, shelter, heat, etc.

Even when we're having a poor month, to most of us that means having to cut down on cups of coffee on the go or the amount of beers we drink or bottles of nail polish we buy to round out our collection. It means stretching food in our pantry and staying in. Sure, there are times we struggle to pay bills or have surprise expenses that wiped out savings. But to struggle daily or not be able to provide for our kids is not something that's familiar to most of us.

Thankfully.

I want to help others, even when the a amount I can afford to give or the time I can afford to spend is small. I want to help others even if they never know it's me that went shopping for canned goods, me that raised the money for that ride to chemotherapy, me who donated the clothes they're wearing. I actually prefer to keep the me out of it. I imagine that having to rely on charity is humbling and I don't need to be out there tooting my own horn. I don't give to get recognition.

I give because I believe that giving back to others to ease their load is one of the best ways to feel like a human being. It makes me feel like part of my community. I feel grateful that I can contribute, no matter the size of the contribution. It reassures me to know if I ever find myself in dire straits that someone will be out there ready to give me a leg up when I need it.

MFD and I like to be charitable and make a difference volunteering where we can throughout the year, but there's something that tugs at your heartstrings even more at Christmas, isn't there? So many people in need, so many wishes to be granted. 

Since most of us truly have so much, this month I'd like to do a giveaway that will extend your charity to whatever organization you choose. Happy holidays to you and yours and to whomever you choose to help if you win.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

How do you choose to give back?
 p.s. Happy birthday to my uncle Billy today!
Linking up with
Because Shanna Said So - Random Wednesday