Thanksgiving Thoughts

On this day of Thanksgiving
in this month where we list what we are thankful for
I'd like to implore you to practice gratitude daily if you don't already.

Every day of the year, even - no, especially - on days that suck, days where nothing is going your way, days you think you will not survive. Find a plain rock on a turd beach and be thankful for it.

I can tell who doesn't practice daily gratitude. They say why me all the time not in a joking manner and think the world is against them. The world not against anyone...it is just not interested in throwing anything else good someone’s way because they don't appreciate what they already have. When we spend more time looking at what is right in our lives, we simply have less time to spend on what's wrong.

Pain in this life is a given. Suffering is optional, and the length and depth of your suffering is often completely up to you and your reactions (systemic repression not included). Find something to be grateful for because practicing daily gratitude will turn things around for you faster than anything else and will make those inevitable nothing is going my way days easier to bear.

Does daily gratitude keep bad things from happening? Hell no, you guys. This is life. It’s not perfect or without wrinkles. There will be hard and terrible things. There is absolutely no shield for that. There will be days so dark we can’t see our way out of them. On those days we have to dig so deep for something to be grateful for that it can feel like turning yourself inside out. Personally I need to be inside out every once in a while to grasp the depth of my power to keep my life on my terms, if only in my mind. 

There is no limit on gratitude, so you can extend it as often as you are able, even on those horrible life feels like it’s ending days. Let gratitude over something small and seemingly insignificant be the rope you use to pull yourself out of the abyss. When we lose people who are of life sustaining importance, there’s a reason one of our first reactions is to thank the people who stood beside us in our pain. Gratitude connects us to each other and to the universe. 

Nothing has had a greater impact on my life than practicing gratitude daily. Nothing.

Thanks for reading here, friends. Happy Thanksgiving.

And happy happy birthday to my longtime great friend Gwen.

Expect nothing. Appreciate everything.

Appreciation to and for

Tribe -  MFD, my dogs, my niece Lola Jean, my two brothers, all of my parents, the kids in my aunt army, old friends, new friends, family I like enough to consider friends; people I'd lay down in the street for and who would do the same for me. Friends I've made through blogging, people who stand up for themselves and others, strong women, funny people, people who empower others, people with conviction, people who work for worthy causes, guardian angels.

Basics - food, shelter, heat, air conditioning, electricity, access to clean water: things that are basic to us but not to everyone, things to be thankful for on the days you think are bad...imagine those days without these things and it gets hard to breathe.

Opportunity - to travel, to try new restaurants, to seek out beauty, to affect change, to get a great education, to try new things, to drive a reliable car, to rest and practice self care, to see a great roster of authors at my local library, to support charities who do good work, to observe and write about my observations, to spend so much time at the shore, to see the sunrise, to sit outside in the shade and watch the day go by, to apply the salt air cure as much as I need to.

Freedom - to pick up and go away for the weekend, to climb into bed early with a book, to read what I want; of speech, assembly, the press; to choose, to build the kind of life I want, to speak out against my government, to voice dissent, to say no, to say yes, to encourage others, to tell others to fuck off; to, in general, do what I want.

Shitstorms - because while it is easy to exist and be grateful in those halcyon days, character is built in the dark; because nothing tastes as good as rising from the ashes; because refusing to sink shows you your backbone; because life requires yin and yang; because we all have comeback songs on those playlists and we identify with them for a reason.

Cherries on top -  sunglasses, books, coffee, Instagram, fresh sheets, LulaRoe leggings, fall foliage, nail polish, Tom's slippers, sun flare in photos, Amazon Prime, pedicures, Netflix, lists, people who make images out of my favorite quotes so I don't have to, Le Pen colored pens, PaperMate Sharpwriter pencils. I could go on about the little things for days.

Everything. I am grateful for everything I have, big and small. I think I'm allergic to being generally ungrateful. Ingratitude pisses me off.

Last but not least, you. Thanks for reading.

MFD and I will not be together on Thanksgiving for the first time in a billion years but I am one of those the actual holiday is just one day and you can't do it all in one day types. We see each other most days and we are grateful for each other and the life we have built together...check back when we are decorating for Christmas together later this weekend to see if this still holds true. LOLOL

Wishing my fabulous friends Gwen and Jenn happiest birthdays today.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

Thankful for...

Every night of the year before I go to sleep I do a quick five things I'm grateful for list in my head, on good days and bad days...especially on the bad days. I truly believe it is not happy people who are thankful, but rather thankful people who are happy. In my mind there's no other way to explain how I've gotten through some terrible times without losing my soul to them. What happens to us is what happens to us. How we react to it is our choice. I also believe being grateful for what you have, see, experience, etc. - the big things and the small things - brings even more good into your life. 

For more thoughts on gratitude and attitude, check out this NY Times article on choosing to be grateful my friend Jen Z shared on the facespace.

Some things I'm thankful for...

Kohr Bros mint julep ice cream - my wonderful family, most especially my niece Lola Jean this year - the right to vote - Gus, Geege, and Mae - living on the outskirts and working in the center of Philadelphia - Reading and books and the Show Us Your Books linkup (next one is Tuesday, December 8) - a dream realized: owning a shore house - the ability to recognize that letting shit go lets ME be at peace, it doesn't let other people get away with anything - fall - people who protect my freedoms - food on the table every day - lounge attire and flip flops - my delightful coffee mug collection - my framily from all stages and areas of my life, I would truly be nowhere without my tribe. The best thing about my life is the people in it - fresh flowers and inner peace - Magic Hour - America - the ability to travel and see things I've always wanted to see - Totes clear umbrella - technology for enabling me to talk to my best friends every day without having to actually call them - Thanksgiving at Lori & Jack's in the woods, which I'm missing this year for the first time in many. Back next year! - DD - a clean house and our awesome cleaning lady Linda who is a great person and really nice to our dogs - The Boss - MFD and all the shit he says that makes me laugh, his daily commitment to sobriety, his ability to see the big picture, and his pursuit of making dreams a reality.

Not pictured but thought of off hand:
-the opportunity and ability to help those in need
-people who help others
-marriage equality
-HomeGoods
-slippers
-heated seats
-Brother's Pizza
-Amazon Prime, Peapod, Boxed.com, and everywhere else with free shipping that makes my life easier. I get a shit ton delivered because time is money.
-Good knives

I'm thankful for those things and a million other things large (job, health, home) and small (nail polish, sunglasses, clean sheets). I'm especially thankful to those of you who spend a few minutes of your day with me in this space.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

Linking up with Kristin and Joey for Stuff & Things

30 days of thanks, straight up. No chaser.

What was I thankful for this month?

November 1 -  Pink starburst

November 2 - The  library website, down all week due to Sandy, is back up. And I'm thankful for my Dad. Today is his birthday.

November 3 - I can fill my car with gas when many in NY and NJ can't, and that I have heat and electric and water and a roof over my head when many do not.

November 4 - That others are taking collections for Sandy victims so I have a place to take donations.

November 5 - To have room to house out of state campaign workers in the last days leading up to the elections.

November 6 - The right to vote.

November 7 - MFD. For so many reasons, one of the tops being the laughter he brings to my life daily. Especially on the days I don't feel like laughing.

November 8 - Fresh clean sheets.

November 9 - Out of town visitors who are content to get into pajamas, eat cheesesteaks, and have drinks on the couch. Holler, Misty.

November 10 - Lunch with my knottie ladies, seeing Kim & Steve who are in town for the night from Boston, and a great night with our framily (friends who are like family = framily. I JUST COINED THAT) - Kim, Steve, Debbie, Michelle, Jamie, Jenn, Frank, Amanda, Jimmy, Jackie, Chris, Diana, Evan.

November 11 - Veterans.

November 12 - My job.

November 13 - Leftover meatloaf, eaten cold with a mountain of ketchup.

November 14 - Vicks VapoRub and garishly bright flannel pajama sets.

November 15 - My nephews, the way they make me laugh and the promises they have for bright futures.

November 16 - Email and texting that enable me to communicate with so many people daily without picking up the phone.

November 17 - The utter joy I get from my dogs.

November 18 - Lazy Sunday afternoons with a good book.

November 19 - Convenience, and working in close proximity to my bank and pharmacy.

November 20 - Nail polish.

November 21 - DVR.

November 22 - Spending Thanksgiving with my Grandmom, which I haven't done in many years.

November 23 - Iced coffee from DD and the fact that Debbie spends most holidays with us - you don't have to be blood to be family. FRAMILY, y'all.

November 24 - The season's first flurries.

November 25 - My parents. Both my mom and my dad are the fucking best, in different ways. And their spouses are wonderful for them. Their divorce wasn't easy to go through, but I truly believe everyone is where they're supposed to be now.

November 26 - Free shipping on online purchases.

November 27 - My Tuesday night zumba instructor who kicks ass, Michelle for being my gym buddy, and that girls weekend in January with Laura and the two Kims was super easy to schedule this year.

November 28 - Groupon deals.

November 29 - My younger brothers. Both of them have grown into funny, respectable, kind men.

November 30 - Fridays.