Securing goods? In this economy?

Hello to all of you who understand you are living in a totally fucked not normal timeline here in America. Those of you who think shit is dandy out there can also continue reading, or fuck off, I don't care.  TL, DR: skip down to the Things I'm Doing bold text

The last time I wrote about voting with your dollars was for the economic blackout on February 28, which was not meant to have an economic impact but more meant to prime the general public for additional economic actions like the current Amazon blackout happening until tomorrow, with more to follow, and the ongoing Target boycott that's been happening since they rolled back that pesky DEI. A lot of you did the 2/28 blackout and were interested in moving away from Target and Amazon but were unsure/overwhelmed by how to do so, and I said I'd do a post on what I'm doing in case that helps. And here we are. Wall of text coming at you.

People are complaining that it's hard to keep track of these rolling blackouts and I agree. My move at this time is putting as little money in the hands of large corporations as possible, which makes it easier to blanket respond economically to the current administration and those corps propping it up or complying with it. 

I've focused more on spending with intention instead of on auto-pilot. I'm reaching back to my childhood, to things I learned from Mom-Mom who lived through the Depression and carried most of those behaviors and responses through her life; and my Grandmom, who didn't believe in buying just to buy. I lost those lessons along the way somewhere, allowing myself to be lured into a more consumption based life that blurred the lines between actual need and want, and became too reliant on convenience. I can't change my past behavior or choices, but I can try to redirect moving forward.

I spent a lot of time in the early winter examining myself and my habits, and knew I needed to make a change for a lot of reasons, chief among them that the way I was consuming and purchasing did not align with what my values actually are. A close second is seeing what thoughtless consumption has done to us as a society and a country. 

The role large corporations play in shaping our government's policies has never been more apparent than it is right now, how they pad the pockets of elected officials to hold sway and don't pay enough in taxes while the middle class gets taxed out of existence. Large corporations have driven up prices of goods, underpaid workers, created planned obsolecence of products so they fail much quicker than they used to, taken a massive shit on the environment, and been recipients of corporate welfare from the U.S. government all while raking in RECORD profits, paying their C-suite employees absolutely insane compensation packages, and convincing the average person that we need new new and more things every.single.day. And convincing the average person that corporate welfare and handouts/subsidies for the businesses owned by billionaires are necessary for a functioning economy and country while your poor neighbors getting any form of welfare is a goddamn scourge on society. They've literally duped people into thinking the opposite of what is true, and we are at a reckoning point with that as we speak.

In capitalism, it's not always easy to find alternatives to ways of purchasing or goods that you purchase that align fully with your values. A lot of people use GoodsUniteUs, which I don't love. I prefer OpenSecrets. Something you should understand about leadership of companies/rich people is that they will sometimes donate to both parties/candidates as a basic lobbying/CYA/hedging their bets system. It's fucked, but so is our entire campaign finance system thanks to Citizens United and no caps on campaign spending. That is not something for this post, but it is important to recognize that sometimes you're choosing the better of two options, neither of which feel overall great to you.

Sorry for the long intro but I always like you to know where I'm coming from in case that helps you think about where you're coming from.

Things I used to do that I'm not doing anymore

Before I start, it is not possible for all people to do all things - many people who live in rural areas or  with a disability are reliant on services/delivery/companies like some of the ones I'm cutting out. Some people are already at the very outer limits of what they can afford, and these behemoth corporations offer the best prices. Maybe you can't do all the things you want to do to divest from this system, but if you can do one small thing, try that. If you can adjust for more in the future, great. Those of us that want to be about this life and can sacrifice convenience - we got you. My main overall goal is to change not only my shopping and spending habits, but my MINDSET as a consumer. Am I going to get it right every time? No. Will I buy some things I need quickly without thinking about it? I'm sure. Am I trying not to? Yes. I'm looking to do better, not be a model for non-consumption or entirely ethical consumption. There are many other people aside from me to look to for that. I will not let perfection be the enemy of good/better, and neither should you. I feel like people kill momentum all the time by doing that. Let's not. 

1. Amazon. I saw Jeff Bezos up there on the dais on Inauguration Day, and that was it. I cancelled my prime membership - it is due to renew in July - and have not ordered a thing from there since mid-January maybe? I received items from Amazon at least once a week, and had many things we use consistently on auto ship. Since going cold turkey, I realized literally all of the things I bought through Amazon that were not grocery/household were not necessities in any way and are all available elsewhere. Close to 40% of our monthly household budget was spent here. Many of us remember life before "Where did you get it?" "Amazon" was a thing and it's not been difficult to go back there. 

2. Target. I stopped when they rolled back DEI, cancelled my Circle account and card, and have not bought anything online or in person since. I was a once a week Target drive up shopper for the bulk of my pantry groceries and a lot of Good & Gather branded stuff, especially my beloved frozen mango. I also regularly did household items with the incentives for $ off. Close to 40% of our monthly household budget was spent here. 

3. Sam's. I was never a Walmart lady, but Sam's is owned by the same company so in that way I was. This was me excusing my objections to their operations for my own convenience due to my three minute proximity to Sam's and its cheap gas. I cancelled my membership. I was a once every few months bulk shopper but used the gas station more regularly.

4. Replacing something we've run out of without thought. I think about whether we need it at all, or if we can use something else in the pantry/household good closet first before replacing. Like we've run out of our preferred crackers, and I'd typically replace immediately, but instead will use the remaining crackers in the house before replacing, and going forward I'm only buying the preferred. We have too many choices here and it leads to waste.

5. Prioritizing convenience over ethics. Period.

6. Following with blinders on. I like some content creators but I am not well seeing people shilling Amazon shit daily. I know people make money like this, but I don't want to see it anymore. How many fast fashion items are people burning through? The rate at which we buy new new clothes is fucking crazy. I love a lot of book accounts for content but links to Amazon books is not for me, and it never has been, I just disregarded it. No more. Emails too - I no longer just delete, I unsubscribe.

7. Spending for the sake of spending. More stuff does not equal more happiness, status, or security.

Things I'm doing instead

I'm aiming for small shifts in mindset and behavior that will build on each other over time and disengage me from the consumerism that capitalism drives us to. 

1. Small grocers. I'm lucky to have relatively easy access to very small grocery places that are serving hispanic, african, indian, and asian populations in my community. Something I love to do in other countries is go to the grocery store. Something I love about grocery stores in many other countries is that they don't have a million fucking options on the shelves, and that is true of these places. They are also not overdone with marketing and feel a little more chaotic, which is not what American consumers are used to but I personally love it. I buy less at these places, typically stick to what I went in to get, and shop small. 

2. Local hardware stores. Some of them around me are conservative, but to me spending my money in my local economy at a small business for something that is a need feels more in line than buying it at a large corporate chain like Target or Walmart or through Amazon, none of which align with my values either and all of which rely on tax breaks and/or corporate welfare via the government that they should not be getting.

3. Making better choices where I can. To expand on what I mentioned in #2, if none of the options around me to secure a good or service are a perfect fit and it's something I actually need, I choose the lesser of two evils while considering a way to not have that item be a need anymore period.

4. For items I bought at Amazon or Target and do not want to source other brands for, buying direct. I've done that more in bulk than one offs, which works for me and my budget.

5. Look for items second-hand or that I can borrow first. At thrift stores and through buy nothing groups online. Buy nothing/Freecycle is my absolute favorite way to get or give items. For our trip to Paris, I was without a small size carry on. I'd typically buy one, and did that without thinking. Then I was like what am I doing, returned those, and borrowed one from my sister-in-law. Borrowing and lending items with family and friends was something that was always done, then people started being pressured to have their own of something for a once a year need and I'm trying to get back to the borrowing and lending mindset. Second-hand and borrowing/lending are infinitely better for the environment as well.

6. Asking myself before buying so I am more intentional with spending. Do I actually need this? Who benefits from this purchase? Does this align with my values?

7. Not a no spend, but a low spend; less wants. I've not gone cold turkey on buying wants, but they have been reduced by over 80% since the end of 2024, and to my surprise instead of feeling like something is missing, I'm left with a feeling of great relief. For so long in this world, shopping was about necessity. Somewhere along the way, definitely sped up by online commerce, it's now marketed as a hobby or entertainment or something that will fill whatever void is inside you. Fifty years ago we were not buying the sackloads of shit on a whim we're buying now, overwhelming ourselves with shit we don't need, wasting time looking at every blessed choice out there, spending money we don't need to spend, and normalizing overconsumption and the feeling that we never have enough. Most of us have more than enough. 

8. Entering into divorce proceedings with the running lists in my head. This is the hardest of all for me as the main purchaser of household goods, and I'm sure most women can relate. The running list always in your head of what you're out of, what you're about to be out of, what to look for sales on, etc. It's exhausting. Like always chasing something. Endlessly. Never being done making a list. And is running out of something the end of the world? For most of us, on most items, the answer is a resounding no. It's still hard to break this pattern of thinking but I'm doing what I can to free my mind from this cycle.

9. StoryGraph over Goodreads. Goodreads is part of the Bezos empire, and I still use for reference and will post some reviews for books I get on Netgalley on there, but don't track reading there anymore. I was a daily user of GoodReads who had tried StoryGraph in the past and didn't love everything about it so never invested in it. I'm in now. I have a Kindle Paperwhite and will keep it until it dies because I don't believe in getting rid of shit like that before it's used up, but as stated above am not a book buyer from Amazon unless it is literally available NOWHERE else. Amazon kills bookstores and and I'm not sure why readers who I know have the funds and ability to buy books elsewhere are choosing Amazon as their place to source books if said books are available elsewhere. 

10. Overall: small. Small and local when possible. In choosing restaurants, businesses, etc. I've always leaned more toward shop small for wants person, but left the small businesses hanging for a lot of my regular needs purchases.

11. Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without. Testing out this mantra more and more.

I haven't joined Costco yet, but that's my plan the next time I have the need for a bulk shop. It's nowhere near as convenient or close as Sam's, but is a far better match for us values-wise. 

If you're trying to make your way in the same direction as I am, and still wondering where/how to source some things, let me know! If I have a source or have seen someone else share an idea or method, I'll let you know. Likewise, if you are doing something I'm not and it's been revolutionary for you, please share. 

Fuck fascism and oligarchy and have a good Thursday

SMD

Economic Blackout February 28

This costs you literally nothing and you don't even have to leave your house to participate. It's a 24 hour action that is testing our limits. Americans are very into convenience. Will we sacrifice convenience tomorrow, and at points in the future, in order to put a stick and some grit in the wheels of the fascist oligarchy before they steamroll us?

Absolutely nothing happening at the federal level is business as usual. It's not "just politics" or "how politics works" and should not be treated as such. I'm sorry people did not ever learn or have conveniently forgotten how the United States government works or was set up to work. Me, and others like me, are not overreacting. If anything, we are very seriously underreacting as a population. We're tired, we're overloaded, we're overwhelmed, and we're reliant on convenience and have forgotten how to live near the edges - all of that by design, so we don't rise up when fascism comes slithering in. We've been told we have no power, there's nothing we can do. Both of those things are a lie. Wake up. Do not let your American exceptionalism - "it can't happen here, we have safeguards, the courts are doing their jobs, " etc lull you into doing fuck all.

I'd like to say I'm surprised at how many people appear to be in support of DOGE and cutting alleged waste and fraud in government spending thaving absolutely nothing to say about the fact that tax cuts for the .01% - which you will never, ever, be, babe - are going to increase while our taxes go up AND programs like Medicaid get defunded, but I'm not suprised. DOGE is not auditing the government and finding waste/fraud, either. They're taking a chainsaw to agencies and departments they don't like and steering clear of any that gives Elon Musk's companies subsidies. 

And it is in the budget resolution to cut Medicaid completely - Republicans are banking on Americans not being able to read a budget resolution, but it's in there, so save me from the lie of it not being cut just because they say it's not going to be cut. These people fucking lie to cover the asses of the billionaire broligarchy. The resolution as it stands requires the Energy and Commerce Committee to cut $880 billion dollars. The vast majority of that Committee's jurisdiction is over Medicare and Medicaid...so where exactly will that $880 billion dollars come from if not from Medicaid? Even if the Committee cuts EVERYTHING not related to healthcare to ZERO, it will still be more than $600 billion short from the required $880 billion in cuts. Think critically, friends - I know some of us are out of practice on that skill, but let's do it - the Republicans are a step away from cutting Medicaid completely, relying on us not to understand the budgeting process. I understand it, and you need to understand it too. Thanks to Jess Craven for breaking it down on IG and spurring me to go read it.

Incidentally, if you were unaware, Medicaid covers:

- Nearly half of all children in the United States

- Over 40% of births in the United States. 

- Low income elderly folks

- Veterans! You guys remember them when they need services or payback for what they've given to this country, or do you only trot them out when you wave your flag on the holidays or need to feel something in your tipsy heart before major sporting events? 

- People with disabilities

- Working adults in lower-wage jobs that don't offer affordable coverage

- Medicaid is also a major source of funding for hospitals, community health centers, physicians, and nursing homes

- People you know and love. They will not be spared. 

You all cool with those people losing access to healthcare and a lot of them dying so the billionaires you will never be can get more tax cuts? Be for fucking real with yourself right now. Answer that question. You good with no National Parks, nothing beautiful and wild left? You cool with some ketamine fueled immigrant with zero qualifications aside from getting rich off of other people's ideas, being a nazi, and  running everything he touches into the fucking ground cutting federal civil servant jobs that literally keep the country running in ways you cannot possibly comprehend until you lose access to services or information that you need so, again, billionaire and corporate welfare can continue on as it has? You all don't think THAT is waste, giving the people who have more money than god even MORE money while cutting funding for everything good that helps regular people like YOU and people you know? The people who make under $100k a year being billionaire bootlickers is fucking wild. Stop punching down and sideways and punch up at the people who don't give a shit if you live or die let alone if you can afford to do either or have any joy in the process. 

I'm sick of seeing people I know applaud DOGE and ghoulish cuts across the board because they've  eaten misinformation and hatred for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the past 20 years held up to their mouths on a spoon fed to them by by male podcasters,  Fox entertainment hosts, and lying liars who fucking lie and made it their personality, like they are a bastian of leanness and cutting spending. Bros...if your billionaire's tax breaks and corporate welfare are not your first battle cry for cuts, you're propping up the real bloated pigs sucking from the teat of the American taxpayers. This unwillingness to untether yourselves from this has made you the ushers of fascism and oligarchy in a country that is supposed to be a democratic republic. And that is damn hard to live with. 

It's not too late. Connect the dots. Know that when people get desperate, when they're unwell, when the cost is rising and they can't keep up, when they're hungry, when they cannot provide for their kids, when they're losing jobs (what republicans are proposing to cut will impact MANY industries, federal workers won't be the only ones without jobs) - crime, homelessness, deaths, violent reactions will all rise. Every single one of us will feel this pain in our communities. 

A rising tide lifts all boats. We have the money to pay for all the services if the .01% pay their share and corporations pay theirs. Are you on the side of people, or profits that you'll never see? 

SMD

Miscellaneous shit from the past month Vol 5

After a long hiatus from doing concerts and all via Covid and just general disinterest due to life stage, it felt good to be back this year since I intentionally tried to make it The Year of Live Music that turned into the Year of Live Things in General. I saw Jagged Little Pill the musical in January, Bruce & the E-Street Band in Atlanta in February, missed the goddamn Gin Blossoms in February due to Covid but they were booked, Harlan Coben in March, music in the park in Langhorne at the end of May, Elin Hilderbrand in June,  Bare Naked Ladies/Del Amitri/Five for Fighting in July, and of course I saw Bruce at the Meadowlands, which was a bucket list concert for me, with Melissa and Tris the week before Labor Day weekend. Bruce was scheduled for Philly too with my Dad & brother but that was postponed until August 2024. Today is Bruce's birthday. Happy birthday to the boss!

Anyway the Year of Live Things concluded its booked portion this week with Ray LaMontagne at the Met and Kate Baer in conversation with Jessica Knoll at the Northampton Library. I also saw Jennifer Weiner at Bucks the Thursday after Labor Day, and had dinner with my mom after. I'm on the hunt for some live music/things to do for the remaining three months of the year, preferably around the shore since I'll mostly be there with a few spots of Philly intermixed. The live music/event doesn't have to be famous so if you have suggestions especially near the shore, let me know

The end of summer at the shore was good - MFD’s fam was down, mine over Labor Day, his Aunt Maureen spent a few days with us and it was nice to visit with her. Mom and alRich were supposed to be down this weekend but switched to end of Oct due to weather. 

Have I mentioned stilt people are at the top of the list with clowns of things I do not ever want to encounter?

Isn't she a beaut? I actually got one of those Brads deals things in my signature color. This was a fucking steal. It's quite a bit bigger than the yellow one from Aubrey I've been rocking the past few years and will likely continue to use for my shorter beach trips.

I just need to leave this here.

This will never go out of style. Fuck him and everyone excusing him and everyone on the fascist down escalator to hell.

Random things that have been kicking around in my head.

My hand is raised.

In the past week the dogs went back to Dog Beach and loved it - still another week before they are allowed back on our regular beach - and Shittah went to the vet and hated it. He refuses to be in a carrier so he went on his harness. He was pissed regardless.

Covid pause killed all of my creativity including cooking but I'm feeling like I'd like to do it again. I made greek chicken bowls recently, and ground chicken with a cauliflower veggie mix and some sesame oil and soy sauce to clean out the freezer. On the last day of summer (yesterday) I finally had two really good pieces of corn on the cob. I feel like I didn't get enough fresh farm food this summer. Also Snoop has cereal and it's not good. 

We cannot get enough of topo chico in the glass bottles with a little lime over ice. 

Adult level joy is finding the tart cherry juice you flavor your water with on sale for half price.

The only time I would ever touch Hunt's ketchup is to purchase it for a blind ketchup taste test happening this fall. Heinz only, FOREVER

Are we all loving connections as much as me? I do Wordle, connections, and a daily crossword all on my phone (I also do crosswords by hand still obvi). Gotta keep that aging brain fresh to death

This is my perimenopause headshot. Do you like it?

We are one main mini split and one window AC unit down at the shore. We are in the make a list of things to do portion of shore time.

Happy first day of fall. This is my favorite type of pumpkin.

My weekend plans were changed due to rain so I figured I'd use the time to catch up on random shit I like to keep on the blog. Hope you're well

Thursday Thoughts - Autumn comes for a time, but autumn sways

Streets Dept Walls To the  Polls 2022 murals are up in LOVE Park and they are worth seeing.

The birthplace of American independence from the British is showing out against fascism. Hopefully you show out against fascism too. Election deniers are fascists. People against bodily autonomy are fascists. Fascists are anti-freedom. Anti-freedom is anti-America. People in PA, if you vote for Mastriano, he is an Election denier and that makes you... What are you? Let's stop dancing around shit. If you vote for people who America would have been against in WWII because of their "beliefs" about elections that have been disproven in courts ad infinitum and bodily autonomy which is a human right for all people, that's voting for fascism. If you are an elected official and you support someone who is an election denier, you are supporting fascism and you do not belong in office. If you can't bring yourself to vote for a democrat don't vote for that position on Election Day. Just you and yourself in that booth. No one else needs to know, but your heart will know you didn't vote for fascism. 

Monthly massage at Blossom Bodywork on Tuesday - you need to get in with Sarah if you are in Northeast Philly/Bucks County. Trust me. Monthly massage for wellness is so good for me. It's good for you too, and you should do it.

I hit up my acupuncturist too. Which is also so good for me and my wellness and I need to get back on the monthly rotation versus every three to six months. My acu is amazing for many reasons and shit like this hanging in their window is one.

Best good boy

Must be Fall Family Event season. 

Have I ever told you MFD eats old people food? Here's an example.

Two days in the office this week did me in. So weird to think I used to do that all the time. We're still putting the Philly house back together after the bathroom project. When I finish getting my artwork for that I'll share photos. Construction dust is still everywhere and will be for a while but MFD is working on eradicating that in passes. 

I'm pivoting to the big bathroom at the shore, which will be undergoing a mini transformation soon. I need to pick a paint color and order my canvases for that too. 

Happy Thursday! It's gray here today and a good day to sink into the couch with a book (I'm reading Mad Honey, Jodi Picoult's newest, and it feels like old Jodi Picoult). But alas we must participate in the capitalism. Cheerio

 
What appears beyond the hyphen in Thursday Thoughts titles is what I'm listening to when I'm starting this - this week is Autumn Comes by David Gramberg

Thursday Thoughts: We were standing on the edge with the sand under our feet

Feels like summer. Do do do do do do do do

I have seen my BFF Kim and her family nearly every day this week and loved it. A sweaty as F Farmer's Market outing Wednesday. 

Brown's donuts are delightful even if they arrive mangled. The combination of a hot off the press and long walk doesn't make for pretty, but their recipe is always delicious. As is Steve's breakfast. 

Lots of time on the boards this week - storm rolled in on Tuesday.

Libby and I met up with Amanda, Eva, and Donna on Wednesday. Then I had a glass of wine with Kim & Steve on the deck. Solid Wednesday night, they are rarely that good. 

Glimpses of nice evening skies, but no super moon on Wednesday. There was a shelf of clouds just off-shore. 

Nail talk. I got gel polish at the nail salon before we went on our road trip vacation. The last time I got gel polish was before I went to Ireland in 2016. I absolutely hate my nails after and that's what I'm going through now. That shit under the lights absolutely weakens your nails and they are bending and chipping and annoying AF right now. And I say that as someone who has almost superhuman strong nails. 

The first month without Show Us Your Books linkup since October 2014. It would have been Tuesday. It still feels like freedom. I'll be posting a what I've been reading post at the end of July. 

My black and white animals frequently conspire.

My Ben and Bruce are much nicer. Bruce, much lazier.

I watched snippets of the Uvalde school shooting video yesterday. This wrecked me for the day. To see police standing lackadaisically in the hallway, getting hand sanitizer. Looking at the freaking punisher screen saver on the phone in their hand instead of rescuing children who were getting shot. The shots are heard clearly in the video. The screams of the children were edited out. Not for those police standing in the hallway though. They heard the screams. And did nothing. So much for the good guys with the guns counteracting mass shooter theories, huh? Hero worship, near blanket immunity from prosecution, a ruling of the supreme court in 2005 that police do not have a constitutional duty to protect people from harm, and back the blue flags have led to this. It is not fixable within the current system. It is not fixable when governors like Greg Abbott fight to not release the videos. And when the Mayor instead of criticizing the lack of response criticizes the media for releasing them. Is this not clear to people, still? 

Local to me abortion supporters: I hope you have followed abortionfunds and signed up for more info - if you have, and you are near me, you should have gotten an email from Abortion Liberation Fund of PA. Please follow them on IG, access/read/share their Post-Roe Tool Kit, and consider making a one time - and, ideally, monthly donation if you are financially able to, and if not share their organization. They were formerly Women's Medical Fund and have been operating in Philly since 1985, and in a post-Roe world protecting and expanding abortion access through direct service and community organizing. With PA state senate having begun the process through the passage of SB 956 to add an amendment to the state constitution that would criminalize abortion and other critical reproductive healthcare - denying the right to abortion care in Pennsylvania even in cases of rape, incest, or life threatening conditions AND pre-empt any state court from protecting abortion care in the absence of federal protections...which is weird since people have been shrugging their shoulders and saying it's not illegal, it's just back to the states...then GOP state senators are passing bills like this out of committee at 11:45 at night, past curfew, and without input from the citizens they represent; federal GOP going after abortion access everywhere for the last 50 years, and democrats not being aggressive enough, we are responsible at the community level to keep each other safe and rely on the networks established abortion funds have built over years. At this time, that mostly means talking about abortion, sharing resources like these, and donating as much as you can. Sharpen your teeth and protect each other.

In the background of everything, an attempted presidential coup it is quite clear the majority of elected GOP officials knew was happening with a false claim of a stolen election and they did absolutely nothing about it. So the attempted coup, then, is not just presidential, but Republican, and now there is a judicial coup in process while republican legislatures in states attempt to limit voting rights and criminalize abortion so that people convicted lose their voting rights. Fascism isn't coming, it's here. What are you going to do now? Nothing, like the DOJ is doing to people who will not comply with subpoenas? Nothing, like the DOJ is doing with the former White House squatter who is attempting to contact witnesses that have not yet testified against him?

To think about, as collected by We the Urban:

Endlessly becoming. I don't know why anyone ever thinks they are done becoming in this life. We are becoming constantly. Done means dead to me. I love this poem by Lucille Clifton. I mean... a changed changer, I continue to continue. How can you not think about that at pop up points always after first reading it 20+ years ago? It is amazing writing.

I'm off tomorrow. Hallelujah & amen

What appears beyond the hyphen in Thursday Thoughts titles is what I'm listening to when I'm starting this - this week is Feels Like Summer by Samuel Jacks