snippets of the weekend 10.2.2023

I had a super soul filling up weekend with my BFFs of 30+ years. We ate, drank, made merry, and we even left the house which some years we do not do LOL. That's all about that, because girls' weekend is girls' weekend and it's for us. No one has to be any other role than what they are, and that is just us together for a weekend. And it's glorious.

I wish we had an old old of all of us, but this we think is in 2000 at Melissa's mom's house. There is nothing that replaces someone who has grown with you through all stages of your life. 

All good things must come to an end, including GW. Sunday was out to breakfast and making brownies and the first half of the Eagles game before I said goodbye to the last leavers and headed to the beach to read. 

weekending reels on Instagram - current favorite weekend look back mode.

We did not win the powerball but we certainly won the lottery in the friendship department. 

Happy birthday to my niece Lola Jean! Happy Rocktober to Melissa and Jim!

TWTW - the last one at the shore

Friday  was a solid day - rolled into work a little late in festive plaid pants; had tacos with coworkers at Mission Taqueria; popped into MAC to buy prep-n-prime and Russian Red lipstick and instead of paying $37.5 for those two, I got those plus a gloss for $29.50; had after work drinks with a coworker at on the 60th floor of the Four Seasons; dashed many blocks in the rain to my company party at Barbuzzo which came off super well; attempted McGillin's but it was crowded and people were sweaty and I'm not 25 as evidenced by pulling a muscle in my back at lunch; and fell out around 1 am.

Saturday I was up before clearing the dining room table and putting other shit right at the house, then I tossed the best friend dogs into the car and headed to the shore for my swan song weekend. We went to the beach  that was completely shrouded in fog and had a walk and a run around, then I got my favorite bowl from Bungalow Bowls, started tossing shit and packing shit up, popped around to Bennie's to get lobster bisque to bring home for Sunday dinner, pulled the porch furniture in on the ground level, and we headed back to the beach for quite a long shelling session. It started out gray but the light came back right as the sun was going down and it was fucking magic, like a special parting gift. I ordered from Randazzo's for dinner, finished a great book, and the best friends were totally passed out from so long on the beach both in the afternoon and closer to dark. 

Sunday Up for the sunrise and it was a lovely goodbye for now.

I stopped to get iced coffee on the way home since it was a no making/bringing food from home weekend, finished packing up and emptying fridges and unplugging shit, pulled the upstairs porch furniture inside, took pics of various things, and loaded the best friend dogs up for a final run around on the beach before dropping a book off at the library, taking the trash out, and heading out of town. I filled up with gas and everyone loved Bruce with his head out the window. At home I restored some order, opened packages of Christmas shit and my awesome new strap for my cross body purse, threw dinner and laundry in, ran the dishwasher, and started making 498 grocery lists for the upcoming weeks, 

Weekly food prep: Breakfasts are breakfast burritos from the freezer. Snacks are oranges and key lime bars. Lunches are I'm not sure yet...I only need three and I don't need them until Tuesday so I'll figure that out at the grocery store Monday night. Dinners are ginger ale roasted corned beef that I made Sunday and tonight I'll roast carrots and get some potatoes going and saute some cabbage. I never did quesadillas last week so I think they're happening this week.

This is the first year that I didn't cry driving home on Sunday after closing the shore house down (well, my part...the professionals come today to winterize so there are no busted pipes in the spring). It absolutely is crying time though...I cried both Saturday and Sunday before I left so maybe I got it all out? LOL. It's hard to consciously close a place for a few months where I feel my best and clear my head and am outside more and active more and present more and all of the things that make me a well functioning person. We have plans this year to start doing things every year to make it a viable year round house. Until then it is not an exaggeration or being dramatic to say I'm not my whole self when it's closed and I can't stay there. I'll be back before I know it. 

I didn't marry my best friend

I always hear, see, and read, "I'm married to my best friend."  It's all over wedding stuff, like it is a given that that's what's happening - you're marrying your best friend. If your spouse  is your best friend, that is wonderful - I'm not bagging on you in the slightest so don't get your knickers in a knot. I do think in some respects it's become cliche - people feel like they're supposed to say it. Enter moi. I decided it was time to come out of the closet - there are marriages in which the wife does not consider the husband her best friend, and the husband does not consider the wife his best friend. Marriages like mine.

MFD and I have been friends since we were 13 years old, which is 23 years now. We've been together for 11 years. We have literally grown up together. He has always been and continues to be a very good friend of mine, but MFD is not my best friend and he never will be. He's my husband. I think that title bears enough weight by itself. My best friends? They were the people standing behind me in the bridal party line.

I do not want to tie the same person into the role of husband and best friend for a whole host of reasons, one being what if something happened? Then I'd lose both my husband and my best friend in one fell swoop? And myself and my mind in the process, obviously. I got married with the intention of it being forever. Forever is a long time, and if something happens to him before me, leaning on some close friends isn't going to cut it. I will need my best friends for that.

I also need my best friends to

• See movies like The Notebook or Bridesmaids
• Discuss the 50 Shades Phenomenon 
• Consult on female body issues
• Agree to take care of my chin hair if I should become comatose
• Take my facebook page down immediately if I die so it doesn't become a morbid visiting place
• Sound off to someone without them wanting to fix it
• Sit next to in pedicure chairs
• Drink wine and let loose with in the afternoon
• Let my mean girl out to roam around without fear of judgement
• Just be unguarded with people who see me for me and not me as a wife 
• Tell me when the dress looks bad
• Bitch to when my husband is driving me fucking nuts and know they're not going to hold it against him when I get over whatever it is

Let's face it...some things are just better done or discussed with your girlfriends. Especially those WTF is it with men in general situations.

My best friends have comforted me through many things, talked me down from many ledges, had so many serious and frivolous conversations with me, made me laugh until I snort, and just been a source of a criminal amount of fun and tomfoolery in my life. They are the sisters of my heart. I don't always need to explain how I feel to them because they just know.

Sure, MFD makes me laugh, and we have fun, and he's there for me. He is the most important person in my life, but he is not the be all and end all. I don't think that makes our relationship any weaker. Sometimes I feel like there's a WHAT? He's your spouse but not your best friend too? stigma, and to that I say that this is a choice for me. As my life goes on, I will continue to cultivate my relationship with my husband, and my relationship with my friends. Both roles are critical and integral to my happiness.

I don't want one person to be my everything unless that person is myself. At the end of the day, I stand on my own. On the rough days, I'll be propped up by my husband on one side and my best friends on the other. It's what works best for me, and I wouldn't have it any other way.