TWTW - the one with the Philadelphia Freedom

I got my beloved purse back Friday, signed up for Plastic Free July (will you?), visited Baby Seeeeve and Lola Jean who took 23944987 photos with my phone, fretted over Gus, and was in bed with a book by 11. Sleep was fruitless as Bruce Springsteen was crying all night and pooping and puking.

Saturday Bruce was better but Gus wasn't, and I got him a late afternoon appointment before hitting the grocery store. Then we were off to the Families Belong Together rally in Philly. I was already upset by dog issues but man, hearing a 13 year old girl crying trying to talk about what happened to her family who came here seeking asylum...how can people live supporting this? I was also happy to hear the messaging all tied together - you can't be upset about kids in cages and not be upset about brown kids being shot in the back for no reason. Kim from Kimrussell.com heeded my meet me there calls last week and met us, which was awesome. We work not too far from each other so drinks and/or dinner are in our future!

I'm proud of everyone who showed up in towns big and small yesterday to say we should be better than this. 

Amtrak switch problems fucked us getting home so we had to get off the train 20 minutes away and Uber. We were in a time crunch so I could get Gus to the vet. They confirmed what I have pretty much known - Gus has cancer. I declined the zillion dollar biopsy but the vet was confident there was no need. We'll just watch him and when he's ready to go, he's ready to go. We're already on borrowed time and the vet seemed to think weeks, maybe months, not years but we'll see when we see. Since he's approaching 13, we're not pursuing any treatment. He barked everyone out of the vet as he does and was a loon all afternoon so safe to day it's not right now. Bruce was also recovered from his sickness of eating God knows what and Mae was over both of them. 

The heat and the vet and the angst from the rally took it out of me, so I chilled out Saturday night and finished a book while MFD was out door knocking.

Sunday we slept in due to shitty sleep Saturday. I love that Bruce no longer gets up at 4:30 to pee. Then it was picking up, wiping down bathrooms, paying bills, food prepping,etc. 

Weekly food prep: I made greek orzo salad, hummus, hotdogs, and cut up watermelon and veggies and pita. I will be making breakfast burritos and mexican stuffed shells to freeze this week. 

Sunday afternoon Debbie and I went door to door for MFD, sweating our fucking asses off. Literally it was like being boiled inside and we were only out for an hour and a half. 98 freaking degrees. Video of us dripping with sweat here.  We came back to the air conditioning, hydrated, and ate, then Debbie went home and I had a rest on the couch with los perros. I basically rested the rest of the night and finished a book because heat takes it out of me. 

A disjointed week ahead - I'm working today and Tuesday, we're obviously off Wednesday, working Thursday, and heading to the shore Thursday night with Debbie so I'm off Friday. 

And yours? 

Thursday Thoughts - when I think of those East End lights muggy nights the curtains drawn in the little room downstairs

1. Happy summer solstice. Cheers to the longest day of the year, the most light, and the gift of energy to move you from this phase to the next on your terms.

2. That's some strange woman shit to lay on you first thing, I know. Who do that voodoo that we do and all.

3. It's also the official calendar start to summer. Cheers to light lingering long into the night, bike rides, reading on the beach, flowers everywhere, and fountains spraying  in the city.

4. And summer food of course - Jersey produce, tomato sandwiches on repeat. Hotdogs.

5.  I worked from my Mom's yesterday afternoon so we could have lunch for her birthday that she made and also served to us. Thanks for that on your birthday +1 Mom! LOL It was nice to dip my feet in the pool, kiss on Baby Seeeeeve, and "work" next to Lola Jean - she got her play computers and phone out too. I also taught her to say "no pictures please" with her hand up. It was a riot.

6. MFD and I hit Aldi after that, and I got home in total about five hours after I left. To a fucking fly infestation in the basement that I freaked out over and made a lunatic lady instagram story series about complete with grammatical errors and I was so jacked up I didn't even care. The worst: after I ran out and got tools to kill them, freaking Mae and Bruce were fighting over who would get to eat their dead carcasses. I know. I die. You too? Let's move on.

7. In addition to Lord of The Flies: The Horror Story and Bruce breaking my Dyson stick vac at the shore Sunday (will report in on zillion dollar cheaper replacement this weekend, thanks Lori!), some dildo hacked my MAC card to buy $159 worth of haircare fraudulently. And I have a dentist appointment today to replace fillings. I'm not one to wish days away but I'm ready to move on to Friday night. Jesus take the wheel this week.

8. I'm still exhausted from battling the kids in cages with the calls and the resistbotting and the Pence in Philly rally Tuesday night (way to stand up Philly - loud, crowded, and fucking pissed). This BS EO stopping it solves nothing, does not reunite already separated families, does not address the children's trauma, kids have been moved all over the country, and we are still in a major fucking crisis here. Show Up on June 30 to a Families Belong Together event near you (click the link to find the closest one). If anyone wants to go to Philly but has never done anything like this before, contact me and I'll meet you. We can do it together. We need to act outside of the computer screens here and put bodies on the street. This is important. Good people of the world, also please if this is really the thing that has pushed you over, learn from my mistakes: do not attempt to share actual information online with people who come armed to every opportunity to speak with their Fox News talking points. Just fucking save yourself and don't, okay? Otherwise and including this, I know you are tired. Keep showing up anyway. TODAY - PLEASE CALL YOUR REP IN THE HOUSE - re: Paul Ryan's immigration bill. Click here for ACLU info and to be routed to your rep

9. Reminder:

10. E-card of the week:

Et tu, Brute?

Stand by me

Are you fully there for people, or someone who says I’m here because that's what is expected of you while you edge away quietly?

I used to edge away quietly. I think a lot of us do that when we’re younger. We panic because we don’t know what to say or we want to fix things because we aren’t seasoned enough by life to know sometimes there is nothing to say and usually there is no way to fix things. 

Besides, what most people going through something want is not to hear empty words or for someone to turn over earth trying to fix something they know can’t be fixed. They want people who can sit there with them in their pain and not turn away because it’s uncomfortable, awkward, difficult to see someone you love suffer, or hard not to overlay the situation on your own life as something that could happen to you which brings your own fears to the table. 

We’re human and we’re selfish. Our instinct is to protect ourselves even in situations where we are not the one hurting the most. The easiest way to do that is distance.

I also think we expect each other to move on from grief, but the truth is we deal with grief forever because loss changes who we are. Grief re-shapes us and we are never the same, so we owe people an understanding of that process too. 

There are a lot of lessons I wish I learned earlier in life, but this is definitely one of the top three: how to sit beside someone hurting or grieving and simply be there with them in their pain. I'm happy that I don't turn away from doing it now though, and that I've learned that I can't always soothe with words or fix, but that I can just show up in person or on the phone or via text and not leave when someone is in pain and that most of the time what best serves any situation is the willingness to be there.

File under: things I think about, not something I am currently in the midst of dealing with. I feel the need to clarify or people are all what's wrong. Nothing.

How are you doing with being there?