The Airing of Grievances

As you should know, Festivus is Friday. If you've overdosed on the Christmas everywhere like I have and need a freaking break from the merry holly jollies, relax. Enjoy. Today is the day I air grievances of the things I am sick of in honor of this most wonderful holiday on Friday.

Picking up exterior Christmas decorations that have blown over 20948028 times. Right now it looks like Outdoor Christmas got beat up and I have left it that way for two days and counting.

Asshole drivers in a hot hurry to get to the shopping centers. You know what makes for a shitty Christmas? Car accidents. Slow the fuck down, stop gunning it through intersections, stop passing aggressively, and obey the rules of the road. You're not getting the hatchimal anyway.

trump tweets, conflicts of interest, diversion tactics, ties with Russia, cabinet of horrors choices, negligence in regards to intelligence briefings, tiny orange cheeto everything

39 [slightly varied] photos in a row. I will never understand the posting of 39 photos in a row with only a slightly varied pose/view unless you are a photographer making a point in an exhibition. The rest of us should stick with one subject, one shot, or at least one collage of a few shots of the same thing.

Snapchat filter photos posted outside of Snapchat. No, I do not care what adult women look like as coquettish reindeer and if I did I'd open Snapchat to see it. Thank you and Good Day. I SAID GOOD DAY.

Science deniers. Is this really where we are now?

Shit all over my dining room table. Does it multiply? Are there actually elves that move things there in the night? I hate elves, so it would make sense that they're enacting revenge on me because no matter what I do I can't get it cleared to save my life. This is literally all I want for Christmas, a clear dining room table.

People who can't differentiate between actual media sources and Breitbart. Come on, guys. And while we're on this topic, no, the Washington Post is not the liberal media just because it has factual reporting that you don't like reading. Get it together.

Self-congratulating for consistently putting others before yourself. There is no honor in wearing yourself out doing everything for others. While there are absolutely times to put people before yourself, living like that 24/7 will lead to eventually not being able to do it at all. Unless you take care of yourself and attend to your needs, the wheels come off the cart and everything crashes to a halt.

Referring to Wednesday as Hump Day. Can we just...not?

Tears/despair for the state of America. She doesn't want your tears. She wants you to get off your ass and be the change you want to see. Use Christmas break as a time to get your shit together. There's work to do in 2017.

Complaining about lines in stores the last week in December. You serious Clark? Do you think you're the only person who needs things this week? No, special snowflake. You are not.

Darkness. Thankfully this is the shortest day of the year and they only get longer from here. Giddyup. Happy Winter Solstice.

#hohohomofos What are your grievances?

Who wants to meet me Friday after work for feats of strength? I'm in as long as I can participate while wearing lounge attire in my living room.

Grinch List

Let me preface this by saying that I enjoy the Christmas season. I like to deck my halls, share good cheer with those dear to me, send and receive cards, sing Fairytale of New York at the top of my lungs, marvel over ugly Christmas sweaters, sit on the couch and admire the glow of our tree, put reindeer antlers on my dogs, donate toys for tots, bake Christmas cookies, watch Christmas Vacation and A Christmas Story, see everyone's tree and Santa pics, the whole nine.

But there are things I don't like too, and I'm probably not the only one. We rarely mention the stressful dark side of the holiday season for fear of being branded a Scrooge. Even though this is a season cloaked in magic, there is a reality to it, like there is to everything. Not loving everything about the holiday season doesn't make me or you Scrooge. This year my gift to myself is acknowledging that.

So what don't I like?

Doing the Christmas tree. I like it when it's up, but putting it up? No. Thankfully I'm married to MFD W. Griswold and he does it start to finish. And he does it very well - he clips it lovingly with scissors, he places each ornament carefully. He has an eye for symmetry and our tree is always beautiful. I usually have to take it down, which I also hate, but I'll take it. And, pine needles. Insidious vacuum hose ruiners.

Christmas music 24/7. Or that Christmas Shoes song, ever.

The attempt to cram a year of cheer into one month. By 12/26, I'm tired.

Seeing Christmas decor in stores at Halloween (I'm looking at you, Kohl's), really irks me. It takes away some of the rush. I remember when nothing was up in stores until after Thanksgiving, and it seemed like magic happened overnight. Now it's the sales that happen overnight. It puts me in a bad mood. I feel like greed and consumerism take over a lot of the season.

Expecting shiny happy kumbaya love circles because it's the holidays. Not everyone gets along or likes everyone else, and that's okay. That's life. Pretending for December is awkward.

Scheduling Christmas Day. Have I timed it right? Are we spending enough time everywhere? Someone is invariably disappointed and I am always anxious about it in advance. Why is it harder to keep in mind during the holidays that if you try to please everyone, you end up pleasing no one?

The holiday season tests my desire to keep a good life balance. I want to do everything and be everywhere and see everyone. I have to remember that I can't do it all without getting totally run down, rendering me useless like Randy in A Christmas Story.

This concludes the airing of the grievances and holiday whining.

Next up: feats of strength and holiday posts about pooping candy cane scented sunshine.

Linking up with Helene, Emily and Kathleen for Tell Me About it Tuesday.