Picking up exterior Christmas decorations that have blown over 20948028 times. Right now it looks like Outdoor Christmas got beat up and I have left it that way for two days and counting.
Asshole drivers in a hot hurry to get to the shopping centers. You know what makes for a shitty Christmas? Car accidents. Slow the fuck down, stop gunning it through intersections, stop passing aggressively, and obey the rules of the road. You're not getting the hatchimal anyway.
trump tweets, conflicts of interest, diversion tactics, ties with Russia, cabinet of horrors choices, negligence in regards to intelligence briefings, tiny orange cheeto everything
39 [slightly varied] photos in a row. I will never understand the posting of 39 photos in a row with only a slightly varied pose/view unless you are a photographer making a point in an exhibition. The rest of us should stick with one subject, one shot, or at least one collage of a few shots of the same thing.
Snapchat filter photos posted outside of Snapchat. No, I do not care what adult women look like as coquettish reindeer and if I did I'd open Snapchat to see it. Thank you and Good Day. I SAID GOOD DAY.
Science deniers. Is this really where we are now?
Shit all over my dining room table. Does it multiply? Are there actually elves that move things there in the night? I hate elves, so it would make sense that they're enacting revenge on me because no matter what I do I can't get it cleared to save my life. This is literally all I want for Christmas, a clear dining room table.
People who can't differentiate between actual media sources and Breitbart. Come on, guys. And while we're on this topic, no, the Washington Post is not the liberal media just because it has factual reporting that you don't like reading. Get it together.
Self-congratulating for consistently putting others before yourself. There is no honor in wearing yourself out doing everything for others. While there are absolutely times to put people before yourself, living like that 24/7 will lead to eventually not being able to do it at all. Unless you take care of yourself and attend to your needs, the wheels come off the cart and everything crashes to a halt.
Referring to Wednesday as Hump Day. Can we just...not?
Tears/despair for the state of America. She doesn't want your tears. She wants you to get off your ass and be the change you want to see. Use Christmas break as a time to get your shit together. There's work to do in 2017.
Complaining about lines in stores the last week in December. You serious Clark? Do you think you're the only person who needs things this week? No, special snowflake. You are not.
Darkness. Thankfully this is the shortest day of the year and they only get longer from here. Giddyup. Happy Winter Solstice.
#hohohomofos What are your grievances?
Who wants to meet me Friday after work for feats of strength? I'm in as long as I can participate while wearing lounge attire in my living room.
The last one - definitely truth to that...although I haven't really been in stores at all this season so thankfully I don't know how long they've been!! Thank you amazon prime LOL! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston
ReplyDeletehaha! i also a festivus post scheduled to go up tomorrow!
ReplyDeletedon't even talk to me about that damn dining room. even after my husband put up that shelf, there's STILL Crap all over my table. HOW?
Love this! Amen on slowing down while driving. I need to slow down when I'm in the stores! I'm always on a mission and I don't even have to hurry anymore '.
ReplyDeleteLove. Your. Momma. 💖✨🦄😇☮🌲🎄🎅🏻🤶🏻
The dining room table is the bane of my current existence. I dunno wtf happens there. I've got my fingers crossed that it'll be better when John stops having CFD homework, but I doubt it. It's just a dumping ground and it's making me CRAZY.
ReplyDeleteI have been working on my airing of grievances post and definitely agree with the multiple photos of the same thing. Yes, your tree is pretty, I don't need to see a dozen photos of it from different angles. And the Snapchat filters...oy...
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHA. Yes. An asshole driver put me in the shittiest mood yesterday. My mom was like, "Santa's watching..." and I said, "Good. I hope that dick get coal for Christmas." Lol
ReplyDeleteAlso... the same photo over and over, lol. Friday my blog will have photos, but they're all different rooms of the house, so hopefully that's not too annoying. Ha. Also, our dining room is a wreck- evident in the Friday pics. Ha.
Happy Winter Solstice and Festivus to you too! My Festivus grievance is general home improvement shit. Why can't you be here when you say you're gonna be here? IT'S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD. Also, people that walk slowly. I don't understand you; pick up the pace or move over.
ReplyDeleteI love Festivus.
ReplyDelete*CLAPPING LOUDLY* to your "coquettish reindeer" comment. Yes. I don't have snapchat because the amount I care about someone's ability to turn themselves into a cat is so miniscule...I just don't care and I don't want to see your screenshots on IG or FB.
I'm the minority...I prefer the winter solstice to the summer one.
YES to the days getting longer again, I hate how early it gets dark. And LOL at Festivus and the airing of grievances - go Frank Costanza! Accidents, long lines, rude people, ugh... So glad my shopping is done and I can relax at home until Christmas :)
ReplyDeleteThe Snapchat one made me laugh. I feel the same way.
ReplyDeleteI said the same thing about the darkness... I'll take that 1 minute of extra day light. BRING IT!
Yes to all of these! I follow a couple of people on Instagram who never post just one photo, but a stream of like ten in a row (from the same time/place). YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND INSTAGRAM!
ReplyDeleteI am laughing so hard at this. Happy Festivus!
ReplyDeleteYes, yes, a thousand times yes. And besides, it's GWENSDAY. Why can't people just get on board?
ReplyDeleteI only have a short drive between my house and the park and ride, and I was basically in full on road rage yesterday coming home! Why do all the assholes come out at Christmas? I just feel like saying "And Merry Effing Christmas to you too!" So annoying!
ReplyDeleteI feel ready for Christmas, and also not. We've hosted two parties already, and I shared so many recipes for holiday entertaining already that in one way I feel like it's already over, but then I haven't done much Christmas-y things yet. I think I need to check out from life the rest of this year! Also yes, the crazy drivers KILLLLL me.
ReplyDeleteThis is amazing. The brewery where I work is having Festivus next Tuesday (late, I know, but it'll still be fun), and I can't wait!
ReplyDeleteI jokingly told my colleagues that the "airing of grievances" would be my lesson plan for the last day of before winter break.
ReplyDeleteAnd I share the same woes about the dining room table AND the chairs. Why must every coat we own be draped over them? The coat closet is 4 feet away!
I'm so over all the darkness. I cannot wait for even a few more minutes of light each day.
ReplyDeleteAmazing! I just had to google festivus because I am pop culturally challenged, and I love it already. Also the google search results page has the festivus pole down one side so, there's that.
ReplyDeleteCouldn't agree more with all of these but especially the snapchat filters. I get irrationally peeved when people use things outside of their designated purpose like hashtags anywhere other than twitter. Although that's so common now that I expect I've done it myself without even realising.... :/
YES to almost all of these (I love me some Festivus; the episode was on last night!) but had to comment on these:
ReplyDelete39 [slightly varied] photos in a row. OH MY GOD, yes. I personally take a lot of pictures of same thing for one reason: to pick the best one. You won't catch me taking a pic of my Christmas tree from every angle, different lighting techniques, different filters, and POSTING THEM ALL. What kind of monster does that?
Snapchat filter photos posted outside of Snapchat. THIS. THIS THIS THIS. I do have Snapchat and I do like it, but keep the Snapchat filters where they belong. Let's face it - women are the worst culprits, and I keep seeing FB profile pics with flower crowns and dog faces and whatnot. STOP! Also, it's problematic because these filters genuinely alter what you look like so, it's false advertising. (I can also spot every time a girl is using the 'pretty filter' from Snap...tsk tsk)
Let's see... hijacking holidays from family because you petty. Hijacking holidays from family because you cray. kicking family out of Christmas because you don't think of them as family. Making everyone else feel awkward because they wonder if you also want to kick them out for not really being family. Making people pick out their own Christmas gifts because you can't be bothered...
ReplyDeleteHo
Ho.
Ho.
Mofos.
I think there might be a correlation between things that go missing in the dryer and things that multiply like bunnies on dining room tables. I swear I clean mine off every day and the next day it is literally covered in crap again. It has to be some form of magic.
ReplyDelete