Show Us Your Books: April 2019

Well this came up fast, didn't it? Or only me? Happy SUYB day and happy National Library Week! In my life, every week is national library week. I have loved public libraries since I was a little girl. It’s an always have, always will for me. 

I had a few heartbreaking reads this month (first three in the first category) but they were so worth it. What the world has done to some races, cultures, and women, lord. There is enough there to write a trillion books, and when an author can weave that into fiction I love it. Lots of good ones for me this month outside of those too. 

Here's what I've been reading since the last linkup.

Engrossing Reads

There There by Tommy Orange - I put this on hold at the library in early December and it was completely worth the wait. Timely and insightful. You should read it. As an aside, the title was found throughout and I freaking love coming upon the title of the book while reading it so when it happens more than once it's awesome. Philly library hardback

She Would Be King by Wayetu Moore - This book blew me out of the water. I didn't know anything about it going in and that's my favorite way to go into a book - I have very little expectations that way and when it turns out like this I'm quite pleased. It felt like a journey. Philly library hardcover

The Island of Sea Women by Lisa See - This is hard to explain, but there's a scene in this book that is so WTF and it's not glossed over in any sense but it is written so we know as readers that life is moving on even as it's happening. I had to pause and think of how amazing it is what people survive. This is not a feel good, light story, but it is a good one. I loved the haenyeo and their matri-focal society. What a tremendous story and exceptional strength in these women. They felt so real to me and that is the mark of a very good book. Philly library hardcover

Dear Wife by Kimberly Belle - This kept me solidly interested. Great story even after the actual story reveals itself...I hate to use the word "twist" because it seems overused and people base their entire experience on if they liked the twist or figured out the twist. So much more to a book than a twist, even when it's a delicious one. Free copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Book comes out June 25

We Were Killers Once (Brigid Quinn #4) by Becky Masterman - A solid entry in the Brigid Quinn series. It's been quite a while since I read In Cold Blood but I liked how Masterman set these stories on top of one another. A greater look into Carlos also, which we rarely get. Free copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Book comes out June 4

Two Can Keep a Secret by Karen M. McManus - I waited a long time for this one from the library too and it also did not disappoint. I liked this better than One of Us is Lying and I hope McManus is writing a Three For Us. Philly library hardcover

Run Away by Harlan Coben - I've read all of Harlan Coben's books and usually prefer the Myron Bolitar series over his stand alones but I freaking loved this. Layers upon layers and a great pace. Am I the only one who always writes Harlen Coban first? Philly library hardcover

Passed the Time Just Fine

Man of the Year by Caroline Louise Walker - I didn't see a lot of this coming, and that makes it fun, doesn't it? Some of it was a slog though, so just fine and not engrossing. Free copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review

Going Under by S. Walden - This book was tough - very raw. I am not a typically a trigger warner but this book has an intense rape scene. Like I was shaken by it and I have no personal experience there. It was gritty but there was also healing. Paperback, own, passed along via mail

A Twist of the Knife (Brigid Quinn #3) by Becky Masterman - I like when we get more background on a main character after we know them pretty well. That was the case with this book. Philly library hardcover

Before She Knew Him by Peter Swanson - This was wild, how it all went down. Peter Swanson always keeps it interesting and this book was no exception. Not my favorite of his but I enjoyed it. Philly library hardcover 

Cape May by Chip Creek - Being familiar with the Jersey shore in the off-season, I was looking forward to this but had to continually adjust to the era, for some reason I wasn't anchored there. Lots of sex and a lot of repetition and a constant threat of darkness behind it, just a twinge. It made me think a lot about marriage and knowing someone. This would be a good beach read. Free copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Book comes out April 30

Bull Mountain (Bull Mountain #1) by Brian Panowich - I do love an Appalachia story and this certainly delivered. I got the second one on Netgalley and was dismayed to find there was one before it, so I requested this from the library. Here it was already on my To Read list and has been for a few years. Insert shoulder shrug. It was worth it and I'm looking forward to reading the next. Philly library hardcover

Not Worth It

Did Not Finish

I Am Pilgrim by Terry Hayes - I have had this on my shelf for an eternity. I read it for a few days and felt no movement. Thank  you, next. Hardcover, own

What have you been reading? 

Linkup Guidelines:

This link up is the second Tuesday of every month. The next linkup is May 14, 2019 

1. Visit and comment with both of your hosts, Jana & me, and check in with as many in our reading circle as you can - give some love to the later linker uppers! 
2. Link back to us in your blog post - if you want the button you can get it from that link

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

TWTW - the springish one

Friday was work from shore home day. I arrived Thursday night with only Mae and we had Bungalow Bowls for breakfast and changed curtains, cushions, and bedding out at lunch. A screen guy came late in the day and after work I painted my nails (OPI She's a Bad Muffaletta) and got a few groceries before MFD and the rest of the dog cavalry arrived. 

MFD had to do a little music gig so Bruce and I went to the beach in the rain because that's who we are. When MFD got back I did some touch up paint on the vanity in the bathroom upstairs, and we were in bed reading by 11. 

Saturday MFD was up at the crack of dawn and I was trying not to be but the dogs said otherwise. More touch up paint followed by a coat of poly on the vanity, MFD put a new rug down in the living room, and the dogs took advantage of the missing screen. 

MFD left before 9. When I was in the shower I heard ceramic moving around and thought oh I thought I took the dog bowls up. I fucking did, Bruce was drinking my entire cup of coffee. I took him and Bender to the beach for an hour to walk and pick up trash. Lots of plastic bags and single use coffee cups. 

 I headed over to Somers Point to get a clock for the apartment, pick up cushions I ordered at Pier 1, and get gas. When I got back I wrestled a surprisingly heavy and totally awkward bench to the driveway to spray paint it (Rustoleum coral glossy). The coral is new, from Ross, for $20...the original cushion was one billion dollars so I'm pretty happy with the whole thing. Those stools might be next, I haven't decided yet. I have to see the room together first. 

The screens were returned, I cleaned up the driveway a little then sat in the sun in and finished a book in between coats of spray paint, and took 485 dog walks. 

After wrestling the bench back upstairs, I was inspecting one of the bedrooms and saw something needed to be painted so I brought that downstairs to do it in my apartment. I also ran up and down a few flights of steps a zillion other times with trash and things that needed to go home or to the apartment. The dogs finally passed out after Bruce zoomed around leaving a trail of destruction in his wake and I painted two coats on a side table, finished out the last episode of Santa Clarita Diet Season 3, and wrote my SUYB blog post. This is what I look like after working my ass off all day: disheveled as hell and not too fucking good but feeling accomplished.

Sunday 

We were up at 5:30, all dog walk, then an hour on the beach with the best friend dogs. The sunrise was phenomenal in the misty morning fog. I was annoyed with a lot of things when I got to the beach and annoyed with nothing when I left. 

Before 8 am I had done the above plus the third coat on the blue side table, the final coat of poly on the bathroom vanity, brought two green side tables down from what is essentially the fourth floor to ground level and cleaned them/sprayed them with a glossy coat, showered, and eaten breakfast. 

I took the two green tables back upstairs, cleaned our apartment, walked two dogs at a time, loaded up the car, and put the first poly coat on the blue side table. Next weekend the main house can finally be cleaned and we can begin to put it back together. It's always a disaster from the time we close it down until we get into the swing of things and get the porch furniture out, new things in, old things out, etc. 

I was on the way back to Philly by 11:30 and everyone and their mother was on the way to the Phillies game so I had to take a South Jersey detour to pee. At home I did four loads of laundry, put sheets and towels away, and picked up around the house while MFD cleaned up the yard. I was super tired and only able to sit with my teeth in my mouth, I couldn't even read. But I was very pleased and  killed it this weekend.  

Weekly food prep: breakfast is breakfast burritos from the freezer. Lunches are going to be leftovers. Snacks are cucumbers and strawberries. Sunday MFD made burgers on the grill and I did sweet potatoes in the air fryer. 

Show Us Your Books tomorrow! See you back here for that. 

And of course, Happy Rex Manning Day.

Thursday Thoughts - And what's the future, who will choose it? Politics of love and music

Basking in the sun when it's out. Looking good this week, Philly.

Sharing as I always do that April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. The statistics are shocking. If you have been sexually assaulted,  you can call 1-800-656-HOPE to be connected with a trained staff member from a sexual assault service provider in your area. It is confidential and free, they don't even get your complete phone number when you are routed in. Visit RAINN to learn more. I believe you, I support you, I respect your privacy, and it is not your fault.

Winning shit. I won a produce box from Mischief Markets (thanks Kelly for sharing about them) and a $50 gift card to Saxby's in an Instagram giveaway. Holler.

Making shore chore lists. I'm hoping to finish redoing the bathroom vanity this weekend and get some spray painting done as well. A lot of what I'm doing this year is cosmetic upgrades. For a vacation rental, you have to keep it fresh and then update your photos or people get bored and continue to pass by your listing.

Applauding the first black woman mayor of Chicago, Lori Lightfoot. Lightfoot is a lesbian, as is Madison, WI’s new mayor Satya Rodews-Conway, that city’s second female mayor and first openly LGBTQ mayor. It’s nice to see all the first female/native/black/gay/transgender/Muslim/etc getting elected over the past few years. It’s about damn time and thank you, I will keep mentioning the firsts because it’s been mostly white men in positions like these for so long the change is exciting and overdue. Representation matters. 

Cooking air fryer stuff. Chicken tenderloins seasoned with Penzey's Northwoods seasoning. 10 minutes and they're perfect. I have yet to make anything with any breading on it to imitate actual fried things, but all in due time. I also found this handy time sheet.

Laughing at this, spotted in South Philly. 

Keeping up with the 40/40: 40 minutes of exercise a day for 40 days during lent, which basically comes to a day off a week. Most of mine is walking with light weights. I am not a person who loves dedicated exercise. Let me run around with the dogs on the beach for an hour and I'm happy. If I'm moving consistently, feeling strong, have energy, and am doing enough arm weights so I can lift myself off the toilet at 80, I'm good with it. 

Marveling at the destruction of Bruce and Bender, and also at how cute they are together.

Listening to Are You Out There by Dar Williams - what comes after the hyphen in the Thursday Thoughts title is always a lyric from a song that was on when I started the post

Reading: library books and ignoring my Netgalley advance copies. Show Us Your Books is Tuesday. Philly friends, new spaces are opening in the main branch of the library soon.

Reminding you:

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Linking up with Kristen

#metoo and male opinions and boundaries and shut up

Male Opinions GIF from Male GIFs

You know who I don't care to hear weigh in on the #metoo movement, and how far is to far, and all that it entails?

Men.

Do I know a lot of great men? A lot of feminist men even if they don't call themselves feminists? Men who believe in the equality and advancement of women? Men who are allies in general and personally, men I love?

Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

I still don't want to hear men opine on #metoo or anything associated with it.

The world has been hearing from men since the dawn of fucking time. Men have gained power through violence and force and used the same to hold that power all this time until they no longer need the power and force in every day situations, but retain the space and place and entitlement and privilege. White people in general and white men in particular have rarely come upon a scenario in which they think their opinion is unnecessary. Just my two cents. I have a right to speak. We all have opinions. 

True true.

Here's an opinion: keep your two cents in your pocket, recognize that the world will continue to spin without you adding your opinion to a topic, speaking with an authority that's been ingrained in you over thousands of years but is completely unearned, especially when it comes to the lived experiences of women.

Re: Joe Biden, #metoo, etc., we women don't all agree with each other. And we never will. I don't need you swimming around in there, mansplaining and opining and pooping in the pool, obscuring us from each other as we work through how a gender is treated by the world as something to control and possess and use at will and how that stops in our time.

We grew up in different times and in different classes, with different skin color and different religions. Our experiences vary tremendously. We have different boundaries - some we were taught to have, some we fought hard to have, some we had to learn we were allowed to have because the world in which we grew up told us we were not. We can handle different things, care about different things, take offense at different things. We suffer certain known hardships to different degrees, especially when it comes to race and class. We grew up in a patriarchal system too, just like men did, and the patriarchy would not still be standing if not for women foot soldiers and women who put whiteness or economics over other women. Our experiences are not the same but our liberation is bound up in each other. Let us talk it out and fight it out and forge a world where the girls who are five right now aren't doing the same thing 25 years from now.

We don't need male overseers or guidance. You don't have to just jump in real quick to point something out. You don't need to opine. We don't need you to agree with us in order to validate what we're saying. What we think and feel is important regardless of if we're your wife or daughter or sister or mother. I'm not sure if you know you can support people silently, but you can, if that is your true intention. Otherwise, shut up.

Women have been dealing with this shit for eternity. It has been happening in varying degrees from cat calling to hair sniffing to unwanted advances to harassment/stalking/assault/murder since the dawn of time because children are not taught the same boundaries and behavior has been excused that should not be excused and boys will be boys right and here we are in a world where we're not deterred from electing a man who believes he can just grab women by the pussy and what's the big deal if someone put a hand on your ass that you didn't want there and UGH guys can't do anything anymore and by the way women do things too and lie and and and...fuck. This is a fine fucking mess. A mess through which men have held most positions of power, made most laws, shaped most media,  ruled on most court cases. Forgive me if I don’t think men are the ones who will get us out of this mess. 

There's no shoving this monster back in the box, so we're going to cut it off at the head. Not sorry if how that's going down in 2019 means you can't do and say whatever you want to women anymore and will have to learn to recognize the individual boundaries of the women in your life. Is she okay with a hand on her ass, you sniffing her hair when you don't have that type of relationship, if she's cool with sticking with traditional gender roles or if your household will have to run differently? I don't know. Ask her, not me. We're different. And do ask, friends. Consent happens all along the spectrum.

Right about now we're poised on the precipice of a major shift in social consciousness - a chance for us to collectively approach old behavior in a new way with new consequences and new lines that we draw and are in charge of - and we can do that on our fucking own. Are there women out there who want you to weigh in? Absolutely - like I've said a few times, we are not all the same and don't have the same boundaries and experiences. You go ahead and weigh in with them. Do I want to think about what you think about Bernie or Joe and anything they've done and how the #metoo movement is changing things and poor men who might be accused of something they didn't do and what about our sons and why are white men being attacked? No. I fucking don't.

If you want to do something constructive, work on your own self. Read without commenting. Listen and absorb. Examine your own attitudes and what you've been taught is okay and yours to do or say or take at will that is maybe in actuality not okay. Teach kids boundaries that extend beyond consent into misogynistic attitudes. Call your own in who take liberties they shouldn't on all levels of the spectrum.

Period, the end...and in case you missed the millions of clues, I'm not interested in hearing your opinion on this.

TWTW - back to shore chores

Friday I went to Target, had to climb in a fucking window because I couldn't get in the front door, changed the sheets, showered, and was at the shore by 9:15 Thursday night to work there on Friday. I took Bruce down for the sunrise, which puts me in a great mood to begin the workday and I'm laser focused. I love it. 

MFD got us Bungalow Bowls for lunch, and praise the lort the hot water heater was fixed. After work we headed to North Wildwood to have dinner with MFD's Mom at the Surfing Pig. I do love dinner with a view and had a good burger with Old Bay fries to boot. I got sweet pants from her for my birthday too. Great night, home and in bed by 10.  

Saturday I finished a book, had the coffee, found out the outdoor shower hardware needs replacing, pulled bedding from the house to be washed and outdoor cushions that have had their swan song to send home, weeded my absentee neighbor's front - I haven't seen them since 2016 and us and our guests have to walk past their grossness every time we go to the beach or boardwalk or anywhere - and took and all dog walk. 

MFD was leaving to head back to Philly to show houses so I took Bruce and Bender to the North End for some shelling and an hour+ walk on the beach. Lots of sea glass so I was happy. 

I attempted to take a nap but MFD called just as I was about to drop off to sleep so I got up and painted the vanity in the big bathroom in the house. I was going to replace it but thought I'd try to save it first. I think it's a keeper. I need to seal it next weekend, finish the inside with contact paper, and find pulls for it. Two coats of that and more dog walks took up most of the late afternoon/early evening.

I painted my nails (Insta-Dri Matte Rose Flush), showered, had tomato pie from Bennie's Bread, started a new book, and was passed out around 10.

Sunday Rain was in the forecast early, so after a quick walk I packed up and was back in Philly by 9 am. Three out of four dogs who hate the rain is not fun when they have to be walked.  As soon as I got home someone booked the week in July that was cancelled, huzzah. I went to Marshalls for shore items, to Marburn Curtain to exchange curtains, and popped into the little Mexican grocery store for celery. Home to food prep, cleanup, three loads of laundry, and many episodes of season three of Santa Clarita Diet. I was exhausted all day and in a fog. At around 1 pm I realized I had drank like two tablespoons of water all day. Yikes. 

Weekly food prep: breakfast is scrambled eggs or breakfast burritos - I made 12 and froze them. Snacks are bell peppers and dried grapefruits. I only need three days of lunch so that'll be leftovers. I made a veggie pasta with sauteed red onions, mushrooms, diced tomatoes, and spinach; chicken salad from two chicken breasts; and drumsticks in the air fryer. 

April already, birthday month is over. Time fucking flies. 

How was your weekend?