Thursday Thoughts - It starts when you're always afraid, step out of line, the man come and take you away

Sitting on porches with dogs. That should be the name of my album.

Shouting a happy birthday to my brother . The bond we have is super important to me. 

Watching a lot of white people being very vocal about systemic racism and having hard conversations with peers / watching a lot of white people address systemic racism out loud, head on for the first time that I've seen / watching a lot of white people stick with what they've been taught to say in regards to race which is nothing or I don't see color/I treat everyone the same (good, but the system does not) / watching a lot of white people really dig their heels in and refuse to acknowledge or discuss systemic racism. It is hopeful and awakening and frustrating and horrifying all at once. I was once in the latter three places so I know for a fact you can get to the first one. Are you unsure of where to start or do you need resource suggestions? Email me at lifeaccordingtosteph@gmail.com

Wondering if people who are struggling with black lives matter because their standard stance is  back the blue understand that eradicating racism and making the criminal justice system itself not racist makes police entirely different and safer overall. Safer than being retaliated against for allowing a mob of white men with weapons to roam the streets yelling racial slurs for sure (this happened in Fishtown here in Philadelphia this week). Behavior that is allowed for white people by law enforcement and would not under any circumstance be allowed for black people is the main crux of the issue here.

Pushing for people to address what's under the tip of the iceberg - the why, not the how.

Wishing people cared as much about other people as they care about a statue of a Mayor long gone from Philly who once said "vote white." This shirt is from a Union covid fundraiser (remember Covid19? The global pandemic?) but when I say Fight for Philly, I mean for its people. All of them. Not for statues.

Unlearning. I saw a friend share this on Instagram and this is it, for a lot of us. If we can just get over that initial hump of hanging on to the old ways, we can fight for what is right. 

Reading slowly still in quarantine. I got a new delivery from Harriett's Bookshop this week. Show Us Your Books is Tuesday! In addition to sharing the books I've read since May, I'll give a list of books on race that I started with/that have helped me since I committed to begin the process of weeding covert racism out of myself a few years ago, and if you have any you recommend I hope you share them too. It is a long and daily process to unlearn ideas and behavior you grew up "knowing" to be true and right.

Taking a lot of trips to Dog beach. It's been me and Bruce and Ben since Monday? Tuesday? MFD returns today after work.  

Considering this to be a simple, great way to state the state of things. Courtesy of Rainn Wilson AKA Dwight Schrute. If this is too small for you to read, click through to his Instagram post.

Hoping you are following people like Sonya Renee Taylor, Rachel Cargle, Afrominimalist, Layla F Saad, and listening. Not commenting and inserting yourself, but listening and processing. Sitting with information. Asking yourself why you had the reaction you had to something. And when you learn something, leaving a tip via Patreon or Venmo or whatever they have set up. And if you have someone you're learning from, that you'll share them with me. I originally started intentionally following more black women back in late 2016, under the auspice of making sure my feminism was intersectional - because if it's not, it's not really feminism, and my feminism feed was all white - and lord have I learned a ton of shit from these women. Particularly how often women, race, and class intersect (hello Angela Davis). So often we think our opinion is set for life and I don't understand that. New information should lead to revisions. I hope we can get to that place.

Refusing to cancel 2020 simply because it is calling on us to get out of the rut and stop being lazy and accepting.

Getting as close as I get to running last night with skies that looked like the top on the start of my walk but were more like the bottom on the way back home. Especially since the storm earlier on Wednesday saw my recycles blown all over the block and me out retrieving them in sideways rain and gross runoff water from the sewers. I was not amused.

Needing to do a lot of touch up painting this weekend. First shore renters come Monday.

Eating trash. I mean, like also eating salad and fruit, but last night for dinner I ate salami on crackers topped with banana peppers served with a side of Sour Patch Kids strawberries as fruit because it was all available and I just don't feel like cooking anything.

Listening to For What It's Worth by Buffalo Springfield - lyrics behind the Thursday Thoughts. Old, but timely, no?

Using my new ottoman slash desk. Much easier to move around without bumping knees on the old table (that's going back to Philly to be put in the basement).

Reminding you

Laughing because the answer is pretty much I could eat depending on what it is

What's new?

Linking up with Kristen

TWTW - Q8

Friday I was on the beach at 5:30 am, then work work work work work, then zoom happy hour with work fam, followed by a visit from Melissa, Blane, and Alex on their way home from Wildwood. I have zero recollection of anything else from Friday night. Oh, now I do. I went to bed at 12:15 despite being up super early, was woken up at 2:20 am, then at 4:30 am by dogs. 

Saturday After the early wake up I eased into the day. MFD headed back to Philly to do volunteer work. I painted my nails (Essie Flying Solo) and toes (Zoya Charla). MFD's fam arrived to clean out my mother-in-law's apartment. I checked out the new shower curtain up in the bathroom and sat in my driveway until my overspray and weeding that needs to be done distracted me and I moved to the porch watching all the people head to the beach that opened for full access Saturday. Photos online made it like people were up each other's asses. My neighbors who walked back and reported to me on the porch told me people were maintaining distance and respectful. Who knows. Anyway I stayed where I was. We are porch people and my old dog Gus is happiest when I am sitting with him. When they got back from my MIL's we had a big ass seafood meal and I ate a fried platter against my better judgement and was overfull all night. 

Sunday Coffee on the porch, then MFD and siblings headed back to do more clean out work at my MIL's. I chilled and read and walked dogs. When he got back we both fell asleep, then ordered for pickup from Luigi's and watched Back to the Future. I was in bed by 10. 

I'm pretty sure 95% of the people I know have seen people at this point  - whether you made the decision or it was made for you to see your parents/grandkids/etc due to circumstances beyond your control or an outdoor set up that makes it possible to do so - here are some good guidelines to follow as we are opening back up in various ways or at the end of our ropes without seeing people in person as to risk/reward weighing and how to do things a little more safely. And as I said Friday, if you have a reason (justified or not) to do it, others have also, so give grace. 

How was your weekend?