tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071987159907366396.post7368782705460541358..comments2024-03-17T03:22:14.046-04:00Comments on Life According to Steph: Seven marriage things that have worked and seven that haven'tSMD @ lifeaccordingtostephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09884611147965544589noreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071987159907366396.post-67621116299909169322017-10-02T18:40:06.796-04:002017-10-02T18:40:06.796-04:00#1 omg yes! I have no problem going to bed mad. al...#1 omg yes! I have no problem going to bed mad. also #2 my thoughts exactly!! LOL #6 agreed. doesn't that just seem like a whole lot of pressure?! Carriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04035385172218811225noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071987159907366396.post-65825730142386760352017-10-02T15:45:49.365-04:002017-10-02T15:45:49.365-04:00the don't go to bed angry is seriously ridicul...the don't go to bed angry is seriously ridiculous and i don't know anyone it actually does work for. we don't really do date night either. i mean, sometimes we go out and i guess that could be called date night or it could just be called the night we went to the movies and ate dinner. i am definitely someone who will nag but you know how to get me to stop nagging? do shit the first time or without me having to ask you. it's not hard.<br />all of your 7 things that work are things that work for us too. happy belated anniversary!Kristen @ See You In A Porridgehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09592108031437491276noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071987159907366396.post-47398636318869266162017-10-01T13:48:23.462-04:002017-10-01T13:48:23.462-04:00Happy (belated) anniversary! The other day I was j...Happy (belated) anniversary! The other day I was just thinking the same thing about date nights-- like every night is basically a date night when we do something together, even if it's just watching tv. Love your collage- you guys have so many fun memories from the year. Carlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10337403009854474701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071987159907366396.post-15901191415857264902017-09-30T15:33:13.933-04:002017-09-30T15:33:13.933-04:00This may come off as weird, but, I love your marri...This may come off as weird, but, I love your marriage? It just reminds me of so many philosophies I have about myself and my personal relationships, especially now that I'm dating someone again. SO MUCH YES to maintaining space and independence, and I REALLY love giving "experiences" as gifts, too. I'm not buying you a friggin wallet. I'll get you tickets to something, or a weekend trip. I think you and MFD are both pretty frickin great -- happy anniversary!Ali Arnonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15481407457549302387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071987159907366396.post-75474448160899422212017-09-30T15:08:37.271-04:002017-09-30T15:08:37.271-04:00Happy Anniversary! And thank you. Thanks to you - ...Happy Anniversary! And thank you. Thanks to you - and your commenters / readers - I think I've *finally* found my tribe. It only took me well, let's just say way too long. To say that we have a nontraditional marriage is an understatement of epic proportions. We live three hours apart. Sometimes we go 5 weeks without seeing each other. My husband remains friends with his ex-wife and saw her for dinner last night, while I was at (my) home, loving my time on the couch with my book. Easier to say what I *disagree* with... lessee...ummm... 2. Not freaking out over being out of sync. -- but only because I have a slight tendency to freak out then get over it. :) <br />So yeah, that's it. Hope the LH was everything you needed and wanted for your anniversary meal! Annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12154065085158706570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071987159907366396.post-48101581068850426742017-09-28T23:10:00.129-04:002017-09-28T23:10:00.129-04:00Happy belated anniversary!! I try to get to good ...Happy belated anniversary!! I try to get to good before going to bed angry. (I have a hang up about this because of my first dad passing away after my mom had gone to sleep.) I think it drives my husband crazy because he needs his time to get over things, but I just can't let it go. I guess my life has had too many regrets, now that I sit here and think about it. Merp. I'm with you on experiences though. That's been a game changer for us.sara [at] journey of doinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09328180529729262449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071987159907366396.post-43566827255990392202017-09-28T12:12:23.602-04:002017-09-28T12:12:23.602-04:00Happy Anniversary! Love this. You are so right, ev...Happy Anniversary! Love this. You are so right, every couple needs to figure out their own "rules." For instance, my hubs is definitely my best friend. But that's different for us than other couples who say that (he's not my only friend, and we both prioritize individual "me" time and time with friends w/o each other). Glad you guys have found some things that do & don't work for you!Brittany Alwayshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09886277401522534205noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071987159907366396.post-79176965271777246542017-09-27T20:50:23.136-04:002017-09-27T20:50:23.136-04:00You hit the nail on the head with so many things I...You hit the nail on the head with so many things I've learned and still learning in marriage. I definitely started off our marriage saying we should never go to bed angry. It "worked" for a while but it's unrealistic. K still buys me flowers even though I've told him time and again I don't really care much for them. of course I appreciate them but they're not as sentimental as just being there for each other or talking about things. Lastly, we used to give each other birthday gifts but as you can see with all of our travels, that's how we celebrate our birthdays, anniversary and such now by exploring and traveling instead of getting a new watch or purse. <a href="www.martinisbikinisblog.com" rel="nofollow">Emily @ Martinis & Bikinis</a>Emily @ Martinis | Bikinishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13771245700613396017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071987159907366396.post-36615498680208669442017-09-27T14:45:49.414-04:002017-09-27T14:45:49.414-04:00Snotty,
These three are my favorites and tops on...Snotty, <br /><br />These three are my favorites and tops on my list. I love that you thought of them, too. <br /><br />3. Sit beside each other in pain. You can't fix some things, you can't take away pain, you can't solve things, you can't heal things but you can sit and BE there through it. You are the constant and the constant is enough. <br />4. Space. We do not do everything together. I cannot think of something either of us would hate more. <br />5. Appreciating the little things. The little things add up to more than the big things.<br /><br />I think a lot of relationships (which I call them, because we've been happily unmarried for 18 years and are still going strong) could be much stronger if they just did these three. BHShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05452646552597239826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071987159907366396.post-80317394503932448482017-09-27T11:51:55.286-04:002017-09-27T11:51:55.286-04:00Oh these are SO GOOD. Every night is definitely d...Oh these are SO GOOD. Every night is definitely date night, and honestly sometimes going to bed angry, we wake up happier and ready than those times when we try to force into happiness before bed. You two are definitely a power couple!<br /><br />Meg, <a href="www.myborrowedheaven.com" rel="nofollow">Borrowed Heaven</a><br />Meg Taylorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05243003602489504292noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071987159907366396.post-56751917291197935532017-09-27T09:48:29.385-04:002017-09-27T09:48:29.385-04:00A very belated happy anniversary to you guys! I ha...A very belated happy anniversary to you guys! I have to agree with pretty much 100% of your "did not work" advice. I used to try to force us to not go to bed angry, which only made us both more angry, and we were definitely angry the next day when we'd gotten 2 hours of sleep because I insisted on hashing things out before we went to sleep. Yeah, doesn't work. Space and time to process works. I love the principle of "sit beside each other in pain," too. IMO, that's one of the best things you can do for a loved one -- let them know that they don't need to navigate their pain alone. As always, love your realness (I know you'd never be anything but).Alyssahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13390697943483129220noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071987159907366396.post-81547689528005239322017-09-27T09:35:25.547-04:002017-09-27T09:35:25.547-04:00Love this post and happy anniversary to you both! ...Love this post and happy anniversary to you both! A lot of the adage old sayings simply aren't practical in all relationships. Like I love the sentiment of "always kiss me goodnight" but unfortunately with my husband's work schedule it just doesn't always happen. I will say the one thing that has helped us in our relationship is the whole love language thing. My husband likes gifts. I on the other hand like being wooed with words. Sometimes marriage is all about compromise.Cara- Kindly Unspokenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10923189267727029216noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071987159907366396.post-16490221115717460412017-09-27T08:42:39.124-04:002017-09-27T08:42:39.124-04:00*than*thanKay R.https://www.blogger.com/profile/17616798594879683219noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071987159907366396.post-5450220015282260152017-09-27T08:42:01.311-04:002017-09-27T08:42:01.311-04:00Truly loved this post. Esp the going to bed angry ...Truly loved this post. Esp the going to bed angry thing. My parents are married for 44 years and mum always said she thinks its more unhealthy to force going to bed happy then letting yourself go through the motions, because things happen and things pass. My parents are truly best friends though. In every way. But I get that the alternative can also work.Kay R.https://www.blogger.com/profile/17616798594879683219noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071987159907366396.post-64835613446708073222017-09-27T01:16:32.482-04:002017-09-27T01:16:32.482-04:00YES to being ok with going to bed angry! We actual...YES to being ok with going to bed angry! We actually had a very ironic fight the other night about the fact I think it's fine, and my husband wants to hash it out right.here.right.now. When you're both angry and riled up, it's late at night, and you have to be up in the morning, HOW is that going to end well for anyone?! I'd rather let sleeping dogs lie and address things with a clear head when there's time to actually talk properly.<br /><br />Anyway... happy anniversary! Hope you had a good one.Rachel ¦¦ A Nesting Nomadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08457683109401016555noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071987159907366396.post-12303559156937614972017-09-26T21:18:41.569-04:002017-09-26T21:18:41.569-04:00Happy Anniversary to you! Happy Anniversary to you! Ericka @ A Quiet Girl's Musings...https://www.blogger.com/profile/11041608167418967580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071987159907366396.post-4191129634350736832017-09-26T17:11:09.494-04:002017-09-26T17:11:09.494-04:00Happy seventh! Jacob and I celebrate 11 on Sunday....Happy seventh! Jacob and I celebrate 11 on Sunday. I'm with you on so many of these. Experiences over gifts, going to bed angry (ha!), space, and having friends to do all the stuff neither of us want to do with each other. I would hate him if he made me snowboard or hike. And couples that do every single thing together (mostly because the "good" wife took on her husband's hobbies) make me crazy. Chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17987539776935412156noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071987159907366396.post-20482438294999352472017-09-26T16:15:31.560-04:002017-09-26T16:15:31.560-04:00I love this!! Especially the one about kids. I am ...I love this!! Especially the one about kids. I am SO tired of this. We are a family all by ourselves and with our animals and we are SO happy. We love our family and we don't need kids (right now) to feel like a family. I'm also VERY passionate about this today because yesterday someone asked me if I had a baby bump... so that made my PMS-ing self whose been losing weight all year feel great... Anyways. My husband and I definitely live by some of these! Leslie @ A Side of Chocolatehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09955101742298568606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071987159907366396.post-83494959211818508962017-09-26T14:20:42.589-04:002017-09-26T14:20:42.589-04:00LOVE this practical advice, especially "#2. N...LOVE this practical advice, especially "#2. Not Freaking Out over Being Out of Sync." This is me tooooo often, so good to remember :)Heather Lockharthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10312358963549375876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071987159907366396.post-33713702910812057812017-09-26T14:06:05.007-04:002017-09-26T14:06:05.007-04:00Laughter is always my #1. I remember when you post...Laughter is always my #1. I remember when you posted that MFD is not your best friend and it's always stuck with me for some reason, mostly because the idea (and explanation behind it) just make sense. I think a lot of the things that work and don't work has a lot to do with your love languages, and that understanding what those are is important in any relationship. I agree with all of these, especially #1 and 4 on the "works" list. It's why we always plan bday trips and why I haven't moved in yet. Happy Anniversary! lil desiquahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12702603642296991017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071987159907366396.post-48006924932414140892017-09-26T13:51:48.097-04:002017-09-26T13:51:48.097-04:00I have never been married but I know that for sure...I have never been married but I know that for sure the key to a happy marriage is not making the other person your everything. Too much pressure on one person! Oh, and two bathrooms if you can swing it, hee hee. Congrats on doing it your way for seven years. When that day comes for me I plan on doing it our way as well.Missyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03331615511067156438noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071987159907366396.post-56229740834153999972017-09-26T13:33:10.663-04:002017-09-26T13:33:10.663-04:00I can relate to so so so much of this and agree. I...I can relate to so so so much of this and agree. I think walking together through pain, and the comments you wrote after it are SO true. And YES to laughter. It's so important, and damn it makes life more fun.<br />Congrats on 7 years! Jennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11330910749491673996noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071987159907366396.post-65106134220190993502017-09-26T13:02:07.325-04:002017-09-26T13:02:07.325-04:00This could not have resonated with me more. <3 ...This could not have resonated with me more. <3 I've always balked at the "don't go to bed angry" thing. Who are these people without tempers and emotions and shit? Sometimes, I just need SPACE and TIME and to be f'ing pissed for a while. It's so reassuring to hear people talk about relationships in a genuine, honest fashion. I feel like I'm a pretty good critical thinker, but even I fall into the dark trap of thinking everyone else's relationship is much more magical than mine and therefore I am doomed. It's tough. But you're refreshing, so thanks. Claire Kieferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15794131643377703649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071987159907366396.post-79526113357181995692017-09-26T12:38:40.589-04:002017-09-26T12:38:40.589-04:00This is real life right here.
I say that all the ...This is real life right here. <br />I say that all the time - what constitutes "date night"? When you're married, I feel the same way - its ALWAYS Date Night<br />& you know I love the comment about children making a home. You are my hero with your voice on that subject!<br />Happy Anniversary!!!!Rebecca Johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03965781380511208862noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4071987159907366396.post-19928117907297412912017-09-26T12:38:29.609-04:002017-09-26T12:38:29.609-04:00Sometimes I see people post pictures of their spou...Sometimes I see people post pictures of their spouses and they’re “could not love him/her anymore. He/she is my best friend”. Sometimes I want to post a picture of Scott and say “could not despise him anymore today. You can have him”. Because marriage isn’t perfect, it’s work, and you do what’s best for you in your relationship. We most certainly go to bed angry, do things apart, and honestly, what the fuck is date night? But we’re there for each other when it counts and can always make the other laugh. That’s what counts.<br /><br />Happy anniversary!!Jana @ Jana Sayshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15501814243709445827noreply@blogger.com