Wednesday, December 6, 2017

I never thought I'd be so casual about poop incidents


Saturday Laura called me as I was pulling into my neighborhood on my way home from the shore. I ran into the house and right upstairs to pee because best friends can talk on the phone while they're peeing.

Gus had followed me up. Gus is 12. Gus is an incontinent walking pooper. Gus was so excited I was home that he did the walking pooping. Bruce Springsteen stepped in a piece and held his foot up like an alien had taken control of it. I cleaned the poop up, tossed it into the toilet, said my goodbyes without even mentioning this poopscapade, and further scarred the puppy by cleaning him off with water.

To reiterate: a dog pooped in the hallway, another dog stepped in it, and I was so unfazed that I didn't even yelp or mention it on the phone. When I came down and told MFD what transpired, he barely acknowledged it before we started talking about dinner.

I could regal you with so many stories that are absurd and hilarious, but that's probably enough grossness for one morning.

If you would have told me before I got dogs that I'd be like oh there's poop in the house, let me clean that up and go about my business, I would have laughed in your face.

But here I am, on a Wednesday in December 2017, offering it up to the Internet that I am a person who has become totally casual about poop incidents. This is what you get when I just post off the cuff, topical to my life right now blog posts.

Is it wrong to wish my Dad and Carol a happy 20th anniversary at the bottom of a poop post? Sorry guys. Love you and happy anniversary!

So how's your day going?


20 comments:

  1. Poopsie is one of my nicknames. Baby and dog and adult poop. Rabbit poop that Sasha treats like a delicacy. Who ever thought we would have conversations involving poop. Godspeed for all the poop we have to pick up to be turds. Lol. Love. Your. Momma.

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  2. This made me laugh out loud because I've become the same way. And actually came home to poop in my kitchen yesterday. I walked in the door, could smell it was somewhere, located it, cleaned it up, we went on our merry way. There's a lot of things I never would have thought I'd do before getting a dog that are now done without thinking.

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  3. The title, I can't get past the title!!!

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  4. Life with dogs. Even with the poop, I wouldn't have it any other way.

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  5. I am currently random pooper free. I’m ok with that. It’s kind of awesome that someone loves you and being home so much that they shit themselves.

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  6. haha I think it comes with having pets (or babies I suppose). I clean a litter box once (or twice) a day, poop cant faze me. The title though - it is gold!!!

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  7. HAHAHAHAHA- man. It comes with the dog territory, ya know?
    When we first hired our dog sitter I was like, "Listen, please don't freak out if they stain the carpet. Scrub it as best you can and move on. No big deal. Poop, mud, pee- it'll all come out eventually."
    And that's why we invest in carpet cleaners *face palm* Lol

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  8. The title of this post made me laugh out loud before I even read it. I knew I would be able to relate. So true!

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  9. This made me laugh so much, and I can completely relate. Between the kid and the dog, not much grosses me out anymore.

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  10. My pug lost all control of his bowels as he got older, and one time my parents weren't home and a guy who was picking me up for a date came in for a minute and was gushing over the dog (because pugs are adorable, obvs). I picked Pugsley up and he literally shit mid-air and it dropped to the floor at my feet. GOOD TIMES.

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  11. Oh poop, who knew you'd talk about it so much in your adult life, and not as a joke. We definitely casually discuss our dogs poop status like it's no big deal.

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  12. Your mom's comment just made my day. Wishing you only turds as well. Thanks for the laugh this AM.

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  13. I feel the same way about another person's snot. Most days I am covered in Zoe snot and it doesn't even phase me anymore. But nothing is as fun as talking poop.

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  14. Comes with having an aging animal. One time Cooper was eating his food and pooping at the same time!

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  15. LOL, SO TRUE! I felt that way with getting a dog and even more so when the kids were born. For some reason it's not *so* bad when it's your own dogs/kids.

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  16. Haha this made me laugh!!! I think you are a great dog mom :)

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  17. Same. And I'm unfazed by vomit as well. Barkley routinely pukes in the bed WHILE I AM IN IT and it's all "I guess I'm doing laundry at 1AM" instead of getting angry.

    This is my life now.

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  18. Haha! I think that having fur babies and real babies leaves you completely unfazed by all bodily functions. I swear we talk about poop way too much these days!

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  19. GIRRLLLLLL... cleaning up dog poop in massive amounts & in strange places.... I am the queen of not being fazed by it all. Just a dog mom is how I define it.

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  20. I'm So glad Lola doesn't do a walking poo but I think Brucie (that's my name for him) is smarter than we think. Took the cleaning up and moved on with puppy life!

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