Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Add it to my list

I love to hear from my friends about what they're using, doing, watching, etc. Tell me your tips, your tricks, your favorite methods, your recent discoveries that you've used long enough to know you love it so I can add it to my list.

Today I'm supporting Lauren & Bre on their inaugural Add it to my list linkup, which they're doing the last Tuesday of every month. I'll try to participate monthly too, so for those of you who like this kind of thing like I do, you have that going for you.

Some things I think you should add to your list, if applicable - and the last one applies to all.

Drinkwell Platinum Pet Fountain - Once upon a time last week I had to get my dogs a pet fountain on the recommendation of the vet since Geege has crystals in his urine and may not be drinking enough. I stopped at the pet store and came out with the shitstain of a fountain on the left because it's what they had. It leaked all over my floor in great lakes of water for three days until I finally threw up my hands and ordered the one I wanted from Amazon in the first place. They are the same brand but a different design and the second is clearly superior.

PureGuardian 30 Hour Ultrasonic Cool Mist Humidifier - To go along with the above, I figured maybe Geege was just plain old dried out like the rest of us. Both of my humidifiers crapped the bed in one week, so I had to order new ones. After reading more reviews than I'd read for anything else on the planet, I got one of these for our room and one for the living room. I'm happy with them even though they do not run for 30 hours as the name indicates.

Bai Bubbles in Gimbi Pink Grapefruit - I love this. A lot. I don't care if it's good or bad for you. Honestly, I don't really want to know either way. It gives me joy.

Sculpey Keepsake Pawprint Kit - So I shared the photo on the right on Instagram and some people instantly thought my dogs died since you can get these from the vet when they do die but then they read the caption and found out the worst case scenario did NOT happen. Like, if all three of my dogs died simultaneously...I'm not going to even get lost in that improbable tragedy. Anyway my dogs hated doing this but it was super easy and I wanted their pawprints from when they are alive. And now I have them. I first saw these on Carrie Gillaspie's Gift Guide for the Person Who Loves Dogs More than People. See? I added it to my list and here I am, loving it.
Having a place to get lost. In a book, in the aisles of HomeGoods, in a show or a movie, in a Museum, in the park, on a run, in a religious service, in painting a room, in creating a masterpiece, in photography, in a theater, on a dance floor, in a pool, in a gym, wherever it is for you - have a place where you can go to get out of your own head. Go there often. 

What have you been using or doing lately that I might want to add to my list?

Linking up with Lauren & Bre

Monday, January 30, 2017

TWTW - the one to regroup

Inundated with bullshit last week, I arrived home Friday night after a stop at Lou's Farm Market, instructed Alexa to turn on ocean sounds, started a new book, caught up on The Affair, admired my new leggings, framed my Blur Street Art prints, and tuned out the world.
Saturday I attempted to enjoy my reading chair but my dogs said no, we won't allow it. I largely avoided Facebook to get my shit together after trump's immigration ban came down like a hammer straight from hell. Late afternoon I popped into HomeGoods because sometimes you just need to get lost in the towel aisle, you know what I'm saying? After that I had a delicious dinner at Dad & Carol's. My ever fashionable niece was wearing a pug shirt that was just too cute. She has every one of us wrapped around her finger.
I did most of my food prep Saturday afternoon: hard boiled eggs for breakfasts with berries; breakfast burritos to freeze; chicken/pasta/celery/kalamata olive/caper salads for lunches;  pork tenderloin for dinners; raspberry lemon muffins; power breakfast muffins to freeze; and sweet potato casserole with marshmallows. Other dinners include salmon with roasted potatoes and steamed veggies. 
Sunday I was supposed to have a massage but they had it scheduled for February, so there went that. I went to a Quaker meeting with MFD and we got a bite to eat at the Corner Bakery.
Then we headed to the airport because this flurry of bullshit executive orders is not America. We had no signs, we were dressed inappropriately, but we felt like we had to show up. I'm glad so many others did as well, by any means possible. 
I could not chant anything at first, it was like I lost my voice to a mixture of despair, relief, and comaraderie amid a sea of people. I saw some other people with bright eyes, swallowing hard, and we exchanged glances...I see you. I see you. 

To those sick of the protesting, mmm, nothing...nothing for you. But please tell me more about how this was about safety but trump made these changes to the National Security Cabinet this weekend, seemingly making us, you know, less secure. 

Other Sunday things were sheet changing and the laundry and all that jazz. Sweet boring domesticity in a warm home with electric, heat, and running water; a fridge full of food, more material items than we could ever need, sleeping dogs...a sanctuary. A haven. Buoyed by the knowledge that our friends and family were all in their homes enjoying the comforts of them, accoutrements may vary.  Like nothing that exists for the people in war-torn Syria. Refugees of war. Children. 

Honestly I spent a lot of this weekend sick to my stomach over all of this. It was good to take a break for a while Saturday, get some peace Sunday, and then show up. When I don't know what I can do, a good answer for me is to always just show up and go from there.

Speaking of, I hope this shows up fine because I put all the pics in on my phone. Here's hoping. eta: it didn't show up fine, so I had to fix it

Linking up with Biana at B Loved Boston for Weekending

Friday, January 27, 2017

Shit MFD Said: Vol 37

MFD: You know what I was thinking on the way back here? All through my time with really painful second degree burns I was tolerable and even pleasant...five hours with this man cold and I'm a fucking tyrant.
Me: Mm hmm.
MFD: This man cold stuff is horrible.
Me: You don't need to tell me.

MFD: You know what I like looking at? Pictures of people going to the mall in 1989.
Me: Is that what you do with your time?
MFD: No. Did you like going to the mall?
Me: Yeah, I liked it. Did you?
MFD: big sigh. It was such a simpler time. And you could smoke in the mall.

After relaying an insane situation in which he saved an old man from an attack dog in North Philly
MFD: Well...we'll never walk our dogs in North Philly.
Me: No shit Mike.

MFD: We need a hummingbird.
Me: What? Like a feeder?
MFD: No. A pet hummingbird.
Me: I don't think they really want to be pets.
MFD: They do, they do.
Me: I don't think so.
MFD: Specifically my pet

Getting out of a van
Van driver: Be careful, it's slippery when wet.
MFD: Like Bon Jovi.

A nice infographic-ish photo I sent via text that was ignored
Rubbing it in

Have a good weekend my friends! Make some time for a long sleep, a straight from the gut laugh, and some self care. Like L'Oreal says, because you're worth it. 

All read and approved by MFD before they go live...
Shit MFD Said Vol 1Shit MFD Said Vol 2Shit MFD Said Vol 3Shit MFD Said Vol 4
Shit MFD Said Vol 5Shit MFD Said Vol 6Shit MFD Said Vol 7Shit MFD Said Vol 8
Shit MFD Said Vol 9Shit MFD Said Vol 10Shit MFD Said Vol 11, Shit MFD Said Vol 12, Shit MFD Said Vol 13, Shit MFD Said Vol 14, Shit MFD Said Vol 15, Shit MFD Said Vol 16, Shit MFD Said Vol 17, Shit MFD Said Vol 18, Shit MFD Said Vol 19, Shit MFD Said Vol 20, Shit MFD Said Vol 21, Vol 22, Vol 23, Vol 24, Vol 25, Vol 26, Vol 27, Vol 28, Vol 29, Vol 30, Vol 31, Vol 32, Vol 33, Vol 34, Vol 35, Vol 36

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Thursday Thoughts - this is radio nowhere. Is there anybody alive out there?

1. This is one of my favorite neutrals: Lion Around by Essie.
2. I'm getting a pedicure at some point this weekend. I need one. I have a massage scheduled for Sunday too. And I got my hair done last night by the fabulous Kristi at Sensational Scissors. So that about covers it for personal upkeep.

3. Speaking of self-care...for those dug in against our current leaders and despairing anew every time someone's right or voice gets whacked away by trump's poisonous pen, you need to read this article: How to Stay Outraged Without Losing Your Mind. We're playing the long game right now and we can't afford to burn out. Recharge. Resist. In the interest of my own self care and in yours, I am not going to go through the events of week one of the trump presidency that made it a dumpster fire for dems and progressives. Instead, I had cake for breakfast yesterday.
4. Monday night our dogs walked around crying, howling, shivering, and cowering with their tails between their legs...not because they were being abused, no...because House Paws the mobile vet came. It was a very traumatic day in our household - if you don't know pugs, you don't know the histrionics that are performed over nail clippings. It is embarrassing. Anyway I love the mobile vet. Geege got his biannual checkup and everyone got cleaned up a little and I didn't have to wrestle three belligerent resisters into a vet's office. Geege apparently has crystals in his pee and just like that the dogs are back to not earning their keep.

5. They are lounging like they've earned it though...Geege in the bed that's Mae's size and Mae in my new chair like she's the queen or something. Have you ever? LOL
6. This week is the anniversary of Jonas, when we took in some water at the shore last year while we were in South Africa. We fared better this time! It looks like it stayed away from the first floor door. It's nice to know someone down there who reports in with photos.
7.  Currently reading Indiscretion recommended by Lauren. It's rare for me to remember who recommended a book, so when I do, I'm giddy. What are you reading?

8.  I had fun sharing what I'm loving lately last week. As I mentioned, I used to do that monthly but got out of the habit. I will probably get back into it since Lauren and Bre are hosting a new linkup the last Tuesday of every month. Meaning, this Tuesday coming up.

9. Reminder: Repeat after me:

10. Ecard of the week...winter mornings, am I right?

What's up with you?

Linking up with Kristin & Joey 

Stuff, Things, etc.

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

One pan sausage and veggie dinner

By Sunday of this past weekend, I just wanted some easy dinner food that would not be yet another poor dietary choice for the weekend. Something hearty without being filled to the brim with cheese and fat. I went back though some stuff I used to make and happened upon this one pan dish (I cannot locate the original recipe source right now, but it's out there). Winner winner sausage and veggie easy cleanup dinner. The banana peppers give this basic bitch dish an unexpected thrill. It's the perfect thing when you want a healthy-ish dinner that's not a big production in prep, cooking, or cleanup.

1 ring turkey kielbasa
1 ring beef kielbasa
1 red onion, sliced in half then in rings
2 bell peppers, sliced in strips
1 big ass jar of banana pepper rings
about 10 baby red potatoes, quartered
3 tbs olive oil
kosher salt

Preheat oven to 450.

Put veggies in a bowl, top with olive oil, salt, and pepper, and mix well with your clean hands. Slice kielbasa on the bias and add, mixing in.

Get a very big sheet tray with lips or two regular sized baking sheets, spray with non-stick spray, and spread veggies and sausage out evenly.

Cooking time sort of depends on how much you have on the trays and how crisp you like your veggies - I like them a little burnt. I'd start checking it at 35 minutes. I had a lot on mine, so I cooked it for 40 minutes then bumped it up to 500 to finish it off for another 10 minutes.

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Women's March on Washington

It was food for the soul. To stand in a crowd of fierce but kind people who are fired the fuck up is electrifying. When we passed the 1000+ buses parked at RFK Stadium on the way in on the Metro, I cried. An older woman patted my shoulder and gave me a look letting me know that she's been there before. When we passed people on platforms because the trains were jam packed and everyone cheered, I teared up. When we stepped out into the crowd and saw so so many people with their signs and their hats and their determination...my heart just swelled and it stayed puffed up all day. I didn't know how much I needed that until I got there.
The energy in the crowd could have powered the sun. It is just absolutely tremendous to stand in that. It is a feeling like nothing else. It was so packed and attendance was so over expectation that we actually couldn't march without fighting the crowd the whole way so it was more like shuffling when we did walk - people were everywhere on the planned route. Yet people were nice, not pushy, quick to help others, happy to share food they brought or a smile, complimentary of creative signs, and patient in a crowd that required tremendous patience.

It was patriotic as hell. People traveled from all over to spend their money and day off standing in their nation's capital shoulder to shoulder with people they don't know, with no place to sit, few places to pee, not a lot of trash cans, pretty much no access to outside food, in the damp, simply to show up and be seen...this was not a gathering of people who hate America and should just leave because we can't get behind a man who ran his election on not getting behind us.
It wasn't single issue. People were there for so many reasons. We all have that one issue that is tops for us. So we weren't there looking at people who felt the same as us on every single thing. But I can probably safely say that everyone there believes in love over hate, inclusivity, and that women's rights are human rights. We probably disagree about the order of importance of those issues and would like to add another issue or two each, but yeah. The last line of the March's Mission and Vision is: We will not rest until women have parity and equity at all levels of leadership in society. We work peacefully while recognizing there is no true peace without justice and equity for all. HEAR OUR VOICE. Notice the use of equity, not equality. 
It wasn't in one location. It's estimated that over 3.5 million people around the globe stood up for human rights and women's rights. The images are incredible. The world is not only watching, the world is standing up because we are linked by so many things. To see images from around the country and around the world was amazing. Photos can be seen at New York Times Pictures From Women's Marches on Every Continent and Heavy (sorted by location).

It's not the end. Well, it's the end if you intend to sit on your ass. If not, then it's the beginning. There is grassroots work to do and it's moving quickly. If you were unable to get to a March or are uninterested in ever doing anything like that but believe in any of the above, there is action for you to take. If you don't know where to begin to start being more active or involved in your government, email me (lifeaccordingtosteph@gmail.com) and I will do my best to get you to resources that will help you. If you  have ever wanted to run for office on a progressive platform, the time is now. You have so many people salivating to help you.
People are turned off by the vulgarity on signs and in speeches. Well shit. Let's all go home, put our aprons on, shut our mouths, and make the goddamn sandwiches. Ladies, only men are allowed to say pussy. But there's no double standard. It is despicable to tsk tsk more about women daring to use vulgar signs and words at a women's march than it is to chatter about how fucking insane it is that Brock Turner is not in jail. Please spare me the hypocrisy.
People say no one has lost any rights yet so why protest? Would you prefer we wait until after the rights are gone and then go through a legal battle with the government? Would it be okay for us to protest then? Fortunately, we don't need permission or approval. We showed up en masse to say We're here. We're not going anywhere. 
People said we don't need it.  Maybe people don't know that men (and other women, wtf) are still debating over our uteri and what we do with them and introducing bills and laws about our body parts; that America does not have paid maternity leave; that there is still a 20% wage gap in many fields; that many women do not feel safe walking alone at night. I could go on but I won't. p s - this is an actual senator talking about women in a derisive manner. Good people we have in government, huh? Link to that post of his is here. I want to know if he can afford to be such a dick on facebook, why can't he afford that viagra that's included with his healthcare?
Women said it wasn't for them. By all accounts in my life I am certainly not oppressed. I am strong and I can stand on my own. I get paid what my male counterparts get paid.  I don't think I've ever been described as anything remotely like a helpless female in all of my life. I have come up against sexism and misogyny and I have thrashed back. But the pesky things that come along with systemic misogyny that I listed in the above item and more remain. I know many women feel empowered and are indignant about people saying we're not equal. I get that. I do. It feels fucking terrible to say that. And no one is taking away your personal power here. I wouldn't ask anyone why they didn't go or think less of them for not going which is why I'm sort of floored at how nasty women have gotten towards those who did go. I support every woman's ability to make her own choices in every single area of her life about what is best for her and her family even when they do not line up with mine. You see what I did there? Your life. Your choices. My life. My choices. My personal belief is that until we're all equal, none of us are. I know my surface equality comes from my equity - where I was born, the color I am, the family I was born in to, my ability to get a college degree, the opportunities and mentoring I've had - and I know not every woman has those things. I worked my ass off to get where I am and I'm not interested in handing anyone the world on a silver platter - but I'm interested in leveling the playing field so we all come off of the same starting block to have the opportunity to be successful if we work hard. Not every little girl gets told that she can do and be anything and put on a path with relatively few real world obstacles. Until every little girl is told that and shown that in the world's actions, my ass will be out on the streets. I'm not going to be like oh, okay, I'm good, you guys keep fighting the good fight. I'm still here. I'm still with you. I will stand next to you and lend you my voice if you need it. Our lives are not the same, our issues are not the same, but I will listen and I will stand up with you and I will do what I can to help. If you need more than one of us to rise, I can probably round up a crew.
For people who said things like that better, click to read To Christy on Facebook, who doesn't need the Women's March   or You're Not Equal. I'm Sorry. 
Pro-life women said they were excluded. Aren't we all pro-life? I live it, I am. But not all of us are pro-birth. In an ideal world we would all be pro-choice across the board. You have to be able to say I trust each woman to do what is best for her and her family. I don't get to make choices for anyone else's body because I certainly do not want them making choices for mine. We need to support other women even if they choose not to have kids, if they have more kids than we think they should, if they have less kids than we think they should, if they feed the kids they have differently than what we think is best, work when we think they should stay home, stay home when we think they should work, and on and on. I don't think you can be a feminist if you are okay with government putting laws on women's bodies. Feminism implies an implicit trust in women and their autonomy. You can be personally pro-life and still believe others can make their own choice. If you stand behind the government making those choices for us then no, it was not for you. At the March I went to in 2004, there was a large group with pro-life republicans for choice signs. They were widely embraced. If you show up with an abortion is murder sign to a rally like this, you probably want to make your way to the middle where those protesters are.

People who generally don't care much about the environment are freaking out over littering. Yes, you will have trash left over when 500,000 people descend on an area the day after another event. There are typically not many trash cans at these things anymore because Homeland Security prefers it that way after the Boston bombings. Many people carried their trash home with them. The trash cans were overflowing, no cleanup is done during the event, and people make piles as close to them as possible. Part of the permit fees go to cleanup, and the National Park Service said that was going well. Please show me an event with 500,000 people in attendance that is clean an hour after it ends. Hell, show me a football game with much less people in attendance that's clean an hour after it ends for that matter.
And the Snopes on it here: Women's March Protesters Dumped Their Signs?

People said it was anti-trump. My reasons for going weren't against him, but only because my  mindset is to always try to be for something rather than against something. But make no mistake, a lot of people are against what he has said and how he has acted. Me included. That is the consequence of brushing off references to sexual assault as locker room talk; grouping Mexican immigrants as people who bring drugs and crime and are rapists and vowing to build a wall against them; advocating for torture; not releasing your taxes; wanting Muslims to register for a database; saying women should be punished for having abortions; mocking a disabled reporter; urging his supporters to beat up protesters at a rally; describing global warming as a hoax; fraternizing with white supremacists on twitter; running a fraudulent university;  running with a vice president who believes in conversion therapy for LBGTQIA; repeatedly claiming for years that Obama was a Muslim; stiffing contractors; tweeting indiscriminately with no regard for adult behavior or diplomacy; lying about important shit and also really stupid shit; among a zillion other things. So, yeah. People are against him. That is the consequence of hateful words and actions. People are also against facism and a lot of his tactics have parallels to an authoritarian state. It's their right to be rabidly against him, just as it's someone's right to be rabidly for him. This is not going to be something we meet in the middle on. There is no opportunity for unity on the subject of this man. That's not negativity, it's reality.
If you attended Turn down the noise. Remember what it felt like there. Stay engaged. Stay plugged in. Don't let anyone ruin it for you. Don't feel small about it. It was big. Thank you for showing up.

Monday, January 23, 2017

TWTW - the one hard on the feet

After work Friday we made the trek south, fueling up at Melissa & Blane's before Friday night's ride to MD with my Women's March crew. I wanted to make sure I went with Mimi since we went to the March for Women's Lives in 2004 together so me, Melissa, Debbie, and MFD drove down to Grasonville, MD, to spend the night before the march. We got there around 10 and I was reading until 12:30. Not smart! 
Saturday began at 6:30. It was empowering, exhilarating, exceptional, and absolutely none of the negative things backlash against the marches would have you believe. Full post on this tomorrow. I made it through the day with no coffee but used this Coke message for fuel. I was proud to march with this awesome crew and the hundreds of thousands of others on the streets of DC. Mimi was our awesome organizer and we got right on the Metro both coming and going in a duel stroke of preparedness on the way there (we bought metro cards in advance) and pure luck on the way home (not long after we were on the platform they closed the gate to the stop). My mom baked us cookies to take and those along with a hot dog that I wolfed down at 4 pm were the only things I ate. Melissa and I stood in line for nearly two hours for the bathroom though because there was only one where we were standing and we couldn't make it through the crowd to the others. But it was great people watching, we met a lot of awesome people in line, and honestly we were just standing at the rally at that point anyway. I loved seeing women of all ages there and I think MFD is finally a full on feminist. We still have some things to work on, like how women can choose to pose for whatever photos they want and have the world not use it against them and the whole mansplaining thing pops up every once in a while, but I legitimately saw him cry in the street over a sign depicting a woman dying from an illegal abortion, so I think we're mostly there. Plus he wore this intersectional feminism sign on his back all day. All kidding aside, I am grateful to have been surrounded by fierce females at all stages and ages in my life to teach me how to be and remind me that my backbone is the strongest bone in my body; as well as supportive, empowering men who have never asked me to be less than what I am, from my husband to my Dad and brothers and relatives and friends. Not everyone has that. 
While tomorrow I'll be talking about what it was like at the March, I first wanted to address the backlash against the Marches I've been seeing on social media from people demanding explanations as to why people went and we're already equal and blah blah blah out of the way now. In case you don't want to read this whole thing, the main gist is I don't care why you did what you did on Saturday, why do you care why I did what I did?

I find it very curious that so many people who did not attend a women's march Saturday want explanations from the people who did attend, as if they are owed an explanation. ps - they're not. Why did you go? What was it for? I have a lot of friends I differ from politically, and if they have commented to me at all on my attendance it was with respect. That is why they are still my friends, because I am not friends with people who are assholes. Regardless, I've seen it elsewhere and the questions were not asked out of curiosity or respect, but rather with derision and an almost predatory anticipation of a complete dressing down when the answers come. Me? I answer to myself and a higher power and no one else, fuck you very much, and that is well known, which is probably why people don't play this game with me. But if they did, my reply would be to tell them my reasons and then ask what they did on Saturday and why, and full out judge the shit out of them for it like it was my right to do so. I might even be unsatisfied with their initial answer and ask why a zillion more times, needling and interrogating further. That sounds crazy, right, drilling people on how they chose to spend their Saturday that way? Like back off Steph I went to the party because I wanted some someone else to make food and eat as much as I wanted and not clean up after myself. What is my punishment? That's how crazy it sounds when you interrogate people about why they went to a Women's March. That's how arbitrary and arrogant it is to think you have the right to judge someone for attending a Women’s March.  Let me tell you, no one is EVER as interested and invested in what someone does on an average Saturday.  But this Saturday? Lots of questions and insinuations and declarations and lines drawn. You know what? When we don't like what others choose to do with their time, we're probably best served by adopting a "good for you, not for me" attitude and going on with our own lives. First, if you were at a March, you don’t need tell anyone why you went. We have work to do and our time is not best spent explaining ourselves to people we don’t owe an answer to about how we spend our spare time. Lions don't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep. Second, no one cares why people did NOT go, so why does anyone care why people did? Weird. Stop. Third, in regards to anything in this life: if something is important to you, I hope you don't give one small damn about what other people think. If it matters to you, it matters. Fourth, sweet sweet adult freedom is cutting those who consistently attempt to infuse your energy with poison out of your life and not giving a fuck about how they feel about being cut out. No one gets a free pass to be an insulting assface to you regardless of who they are or how long you've known them, even if it's since birth. Fifth, are you seriously listening to and arguing with facebook and twitter warriors who probably don't actually take action on many things in real life? Maybe instead try telling them to take several seats. It will be less angst-ridden and time consuming and more satisfying to you, I promise. Sixth, because I like to say it, good day. I SAID GOOD DAY.

Now then, where were we? 

We got home around 9:30 Saturday night and I was beat...a day at a March feels much different at quarter to 40 than it does at just a month past 26, which was hold old I was for the March for Women's Lives in 2004. Sunday I slept in, went over to read some books with the best niece ever Lola Jean, ran errands to Target/Produce Junction/grocery store (and that is why I get my groceries delivered, too freaking time consuming and a PITA), and did the typical Sunday hausfrauing (changed sheets, did five loads of laundry, blah blah) and weekly food prep. Bottom pics are some of my $6 flowers this week + MFD picked up my chair at Pier 1 + our Christmas gift Echo arrived. Hollerrrr. I have yet to set it up.

Weekly food prep: breakfast burritos from the freezer for breakfast; korean beef over rice for lunches, bell peppers and oranges for snacks; a jumble of smoked sausage and veggies for dinners; as well as cheesey chicken and wild rice casserole for us to eat this week, to freeze, and two pans for friends who just had a baby. 

Full on Women's March stuff tomorrow, and honestly I have no idea what I'll blog about for the rest of the week, so I'll be just as surprised as you are. Toodleoo mofos. 

Linking up with Biana at B Loved Boston for Weekending

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