Wednesday, August 17, 2016

It takes a special kind of asshole



Sometimes (okay, daily) I see people do things and think to myself, it takes a special kind of asshole to do that. So I started making a list of these people and decided to share it with you.

It takes a special kind of asshole to express moral outrage on the Internet because an Olympic gold medalist did not put her hand over her heart during the national anthem. It's not the fucking Pledge of Allegiance, and even if it was, shut up. You know who required that everyone show their patriotism in the same way? Nazis. Go fuck yourselves and get off your patriotic high ground. Seriously, you people don't have anything else to do? Perhaps some interior work on your damaged souls?

It takes a special kind of asshole to butt in line.

It takes a special kind of asshole to throw trash on the ground.

It takes a special kind of asshole to leave dogs outside on hot days.

It takes a special kind of asshole to block entrance and egress points. No, jerky, you are not the only one who needs to get in and out. Move your very important ass out of the way.

It takes a special kind of asshole to perpetually rain on the parades of others.

It takes a special kind of asshole to ignore cashiers. You are entering into a transaction. Be courteous and say hello. 

It takes a special kind of asshole to know everything about everything.

It takes a special kind of asshole to think you are oh my god so busy. Yes, dear. You're not special...we all have full lives. It's not a contest of who has more to do in the least amount of time, and if you think it is, that contest sucks and you should come up with a new one.

It takes a special kind of asshole to concentrate on all the negative news. You're a bummer, man.

It takes a special kind of asshole to put your bag on the seat of a crowded public transportation vehicle. Yeah, people can ask you to move it, but they shouldn't have to. Rude.

It takes a special kind of asshole to listen to music/play annoying loud games/watch videos/etc. on public transport without headphones. Yes, we all have to be trapped on this tin can with you. No, we do not all want to hear your asshole game.

I'm going to end this before it devolves into commuting assholes, which are a category of their own, really. What special kind of assholes have you run into lately?


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47 comments:

  1. I've already got a comment about a commuting asshole lined up and ready to go for my Thursday Thoughts.
    In honor of my post from Monday (where I wrote about my cousin and her husband who have two adopted daughters; one being bi-racial): it takes a special kind of asshole to ask a mother standing with her two daughters that are 5 and 6 if they have the same father. When she answered this STRANGER in the line at Chick-Fil-A with a polite "yes" (because Jon, their adoptive father IS their father), the special kind of asshole continues "no way that they have the same father...wait, your hair is awfully curly, are you part black?" Again, all of this said in front of the children.

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    Replies
    1. Oh , Erin. How awful. Lights and Angels to your cousin, her husband , and their beautiful children.
      Love. Stephs. Momma

      Delete
    2. WTF. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH SOME FUCKWITS???

      Delete
    3. HOLY WOW! Special kind of asshole indeed!! I'm so sorry that people are so damn rude and invasive. I've had people ask me stupid questions similar to that. Also, I've been asked if I was the freaking nanny.
      XO
      www.mrsaokaworkinprogress.com

      Delete
  2. Oh, girl... commuters! I could write a novella! It takes a special kind of asshole to zip by in the merging/ending right lane past a line of waiting cars in the left lane, knowing that the right lane will end (because it is a fixed traffic pattern), and expect for people who have been patiently waiting to happily allow you to cut in front of them. It takes a special kind of asshole to camp out in the left lane of the interstate going under the speed limit and then to speed up when you are forced to pass them on the right. I could go on and on... LOL!

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  3. The public transport get's me every time...they have to realize they aren't alone so why do they act like they are?! xo, biana -BlovedBoston

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  4. It takes a special kind of asshole to be a manager and tell employees to lie to their boss so that two employees quit 2 days before the new year starts... even though said manager has been interview for 3 weeks and has been fretting about staffing as it is.

    ...not that I know ANYTHING about this. MFer.

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  5. Asshole is the worst name you can call anyone. It emits waste material. Agree on all of the above. Just reading social media ! So many assholes. Not because they don't see things my way, but the horrible or condescending things they sprew. Positive energy and lights to all the assholes and extra protection white lights around the rest of us. It's a cool 76 this morning. Thank the universe. Carpe Diem. Love. Your. Momma.

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  6. The rainer on paraders are the ones who kill me. Stop being a debbie downer and trying to make everybody sulk with you. Just be happy for other people and live your life. It's ridiculous. Also, I've always found the ones who constantly go around saying they're "so busy" are the ones that have hardly anything to do.

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  7. I hate the rain on paraders and the know it alls, and the high horse people. The world doesn't revolve around you--people are entitled to their opinions and their own options in life, and no your way isn't the best way for everyone. And the public transportation people--the ones who put the bags on chairs, or keep their feet up on a chair...ew. I want to smack them!

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  8. It takes a special kind of asshole to take an exceedingly long time at a register in a crowded situation. No, please, continue talking about your travel plans while my milk expires...please.

    It takes a special kind of asshole to reheat your smelly food in the office breakroom. :)

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  9. omg the people who play games or watch videos on their phone in public, they make my inner psycho want to come out and smash their phone into their head. it drives me bonkers.
    i hate assholes to litter or are rude to people, especially servers or cashiers or anyone. i just don't like rude people. and i hate people saying they are busy, or rather complaining about it constantly. you know you are in control of what you do in your own life, right? stop filling your schedule up if it's such an inconvenience. oh, and people who complain about the weather constantly, every gd day. i get it. it's hot. it happens this time every year. i know, you're shocked. please shut up.

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  10. I thought the same thing when I saw the outrage over the national anthem. Um... not that she needs an excuse (since, ya know, she's representing a FREE COUNTRY), but the girl just did a million gymnastics things. Maybe her arms are tired. Y'all don't know her life. Shut up.
    Also, yes to the dog outside OR in a car. Nope. Not having it. I'm that nearby car who's calling the police to report ya ;)
    I'd add "It takes a special kind of asshole to BLAST your music at 11:30pm, shaking the houses of your neighbors who are at least 25ft away." Grrrr.....

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  11. Re: blocking entrances and exits... People in my office building hold the elevator doors open while they stand and chat with someone on their floor not getting into the elevator. Are you fucking kidding me? Like all the other people waiting in this elevator are less important than you and your conversation?! It drives me nuts. I've started telling them off because I just can't anymore.

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  12. Literally on my way in to work this morning, a car just stops in front of me to make a left turn...there was no turn lane. The guy behind me had to slam on breaks as to not hit me...I was so mad! Special kind, indeed!

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  13. Ah yes, the customer who ignores the staff! As a retail slave... I mean lead/manager, nothing makes me more irritated then greeting customers only to be completely ignored!

    The litter bug, on my way into work on Sunday morning I watched a van through a bottle out their window into the mall parking lot.

    And the music/game on public transportation, my sister was one of those a-holes on the river line trip to and from a concert... I wanted to smack her and her friend, I'm glad I was sitting away from them.

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  14. Ah yes, the customer who ignores the staff! As a retail slave... I mean lead/manager, nothing makes me more irritated then greeting customers only to be completely ignored!

    The litter bug, on my way into work on Sunday morning I watched a van through a bottle out their window into the mall parking lot.

    And the music/game on public transportation, my sister was one of those a-holes on the river line trip to and from a concert... I wanted to smack her and her friend, I'm glad I was sitting away from them.

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  15. I always make a fuss in front of people who litter because guess what, asshole? the world is not your garbage can.

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  16. My favorite is the special asshole who hauls ass through traffic, changing lanes like a woman in labor driving herself to the hospital while we wll swerve to avoid getting hit, only to get 1/8 of a mile down the road and be stopped by a traffic light. I have pulled up beside said assholes and pointed and laughed before.

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  17. The litter bugs make me cringe. My two year old gets the concept that trash belongs in a trash can - there is no excuse. I carry plastic shopping bags with me to the beach just to pick up litter.

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  18. The people who stand in front of a doorway make me crazy! Hello, you aren't the only person who'd like to be able to get in and out of the grocery store. It just strikes me as so self-involved, like it's their world and we're just living in it.

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  19. The whole Gabby Douglas thing is driving me nuts. Leave that poor girl alone! But the glorification of busy assholes are my heavy hitters. It makes my skin crawl when people use "I was busy," as an excuse. I don't let my pageant girls say it, and no one else should either. When you use that as an excuse, you are automatically implying that your time is more important than someone else's. You know what a valid excuse is for not coming through on something you've committed to? "I'm an asshole, and I didn't get it done." PERIOD.

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  20. Wow! I "think" I'm not an asshole!! It amazes me when those asshole's just don't get it. Of all the things I hope I teach my 7 year old son in life, I hope manners is a biggie! I don't want to raise an asshole!!

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  21. So I looked this up and it actually on the books to put your hand over heart during the national anthem (https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/36/301). That being said, I do not blame the individual- I blame our education system and our society in general that does not teach these things (ie everyone who is crying about this probably uses flag napkins/wears flag shirts during the 4th of July which violates recommended conduct regarding our flag). I hope this doesn't make me an asshole, but I was legitimately curious so I google'd.

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  22. This statement "Perhaps some interior work on your damaged souls?" made me laugh so hard because TRUTH!!! And I agree with every last one of these statements!!! It also takes a special kind of asshole driving a huge ass truck to block in other people on a hot summer day and not apologize when they finally come out after you waited for 30 minutes and considered calling the cops but thought better to be polite to them. UGH!

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  23. People who do not return their carts to the cart corral. I feel like this is 1000 times worse in the south. I want to rage when people leave it just chilling in a parking spot or, my personal favorite, take the effort to get the front wheels of it up in the grass in the medians. WHAT THE FUCK.

    Yesterday I watched a lady walk out of Target, stop right outside the automatic doors, take her 2 bags out of her cart, AND JUST FUCKING LEAVE IT THERE. Right in front of the non-automatic doors. Like you couldn't have just left it the 20 feet inside the doors with the 900 other carts? You just couldn't possibly carry your bags all the way out of the store by yourself?

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    Replies
    1. This drives me bonkers! One time I took a man's cart that he just left (right in front of him) and went to put both his and my cart back. He saw me and then offered to do it. Ummm, YOU SHOULD'VE DONE IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. I caught you and embarrassed you, you lazy motherfucker. I believe this laziness is part of the reason that people in the south are more obese.

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    2. Stray shopping carts are possibly my number one pet peeve!

      Delete
  24. This is my favorite post so far this week. I have run into these special assholes a lot lately. The Olympics thing is just infuriating I don't understand how people have so much time on their hands if they can complain about literally everything. And people that ignore their cashiers when they say good morning it just irritates me so badly I want to smack them. Seriously how rude is that?

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  25. People ragging on Gabby Douglas has INFURIATED me this week. Leave this girl alone. WHO CARES that she was in the moment and didn't put her hand over her heart. She wasn't turned around and laughing or being disrespectful in ANY way. People need more to do. GEEZ.

    Assholes at the gym who don't put their weights up make me crazy.

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  26. Yep... I said YEP so many times.
    I work with someone I REFUSE to go to lunch with anymore because she SNAPS at the wait staff. OH HECK NO!

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  27. People who commute are the worst types of jerks! I can't stand it when they're playing their music too loud or talking loudly on the phone, but the worst is when a guy will sprawl his legs into your leg area. It's so gross and weirds me out!

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  28. Preach!!
    Last week, we all listened to someone's bloody alarm to wake up going home one afternoon. Took about 10 minutes before the gentlemen was roused/people looking around for where the F the noise was coming from and he said, "Oh." and laughed. Yeah not cool, pal. Or this morning, someone was blaring music I could hear from two pods over for the entire HOUR I was on the train. And no, all your space is not yours. Move the F over, arsehole and let me sit down. LOL

    Also, going to apologize in advance for my grammar and punctuation. French is damn near my first language, I went to French immersion school from JK to the end of high school and as a result, all of us Frenchies are terrible when we speak and write. Don't know why it was but we never, ever worked on grammer and punctuation shit in our English classes and it shows. Jeff constantly tells me to reword what the hell I'm saying.

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  29. Another kind of asshole: people that walk 8 people wide, at a snail's pace and they have no fucking clue there's a million people behind them breathing down their neck just racing to get to the train to get the hell home. But I guess some people have no idea of what's going on around them.

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  30. OMG - yes to all of these! I have a post similar to this scrolling in my head because seriously - WTF is wrong with people lately? The rudeness is overwhelming . . . it is hard to not focus on it sometimes. Preach it sister!

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  31. Queen. All of these, yes! You're right, commuting and city street assholes are indeed a league all of their own. I'll add to this list: It takes a special kind of asshole to yell things at people from a moving car (or anywhere, but in a car makes especially little sense to me), whether it's cat calls or the random "Run, Forest, run!"s I oh-so-cleverly get when running outside, or—and this is my favorite—the painfully bitter divorcees who yell "Don't do it!" or something similar as they pass the scene of a wedding. I horrifyingly know several of the latter.

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  32. Yes, yes, yes to all of these! The Gabby Douglas thing makes me want to scream. I think about when I'm at sporting events and it's time for the national anthem. The announcer says "please rise and remove your hats" but I've never heard "and put your hand over your heart." And even if I did, bite me. Respect is one thing; cult-like behavior is entirely different.

    There was a video going around about how Usain Bolt stopped an interview to show respect while the USA national anthem was being played. I saw all these comments like "more respectful than some of our own citizens." And all I could think was, how many of these idiots would do the same thing for another country's anthem?

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  33. HA, no joke, my aunt just wrote on my FB wall that someone at the beach picked up one of the trash cans, moved it away from her and closer to my aunt. I was simultaneously reading this post when I saw it, and without even thinking I commented "that's a special kind of asshole." You infiltrated my mind! So...that. I'd add that. I also agree with everything on your list and NODDED when I saw the thing about people putting a bag on a seat in public transportation. HATE.

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  34. Ugh all the rage to people who leave their duggies outside in the heat, and how hard is it to be courteous to a cashier! Co-signing all of this :)

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  35. I instantly began to laugh reading the opening of your post! Thank you!

    It takes a certain kind of asshole to comment on an OLYMPIAN'S weight. B**ch, I don't see your ass out there doing one handed flips.
    You have to be a special kind of asshole to complain about a dog barking at another dog, because you're working in your office with the window open. Yet, you can have your teenage kids have loud parties, although you talked shit about the people who use to live in this house before for having loud parties... I believe it was loud LATINO parties, I think I remember correctly.
    Ahhhh... thank you for that!
    XO
    www.mrsaokaworkinprogress.com

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  36. Lol too funny and true! I think that commute to and from work whether it may be by bus, train or car gives you enough time to observe shit that people do. I guess mine would be people going below the speed limit in the "fast" lane when everyone is trying to get to work on time. It happens almost daily for me.

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  37. on point about being "so busy." if you keep telling me how busy you are, I automatically don't believe you because I don't have time to tell people how busy I am. lies, people. you are likely inefficient and don't know how to prioritize. ok, rant over :)

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  38. It takes a special kind of asshole to leave dogs outside on cold days.
    And it takes a particularly "busy" kind of asshole not to return shopping carts.

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  39. At the video store I work at we have to greet the customers as they are coming into the store and there are people that just stare at us or ignore us completely when we tell them hi or even when the come to the counter and I try to talk to them they ignore us or talk on their phone...HELLO you are standing here checking out it will take 2 minutes can you not put your phone down and acknowledge the fact that I am speaking to you? They also come into the store with their music on on their phones with no headphones...I do not have any desire to hear that crap...turn it off!

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  40. How did I miss this post? This is hilarious! I have a knows-everything-about-everything asshole in my office. He's been off for "man-ternity" for 3 weeks and it has been bliss. Other than that, mine are all bathroom assholes: talking on the phone in the bathroom, leaving paper on the floor or splashing water all over the sink area, not flushing the toilet. C'mon people! It's a toilet, how hard can it be?

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  41. it takes a special kind of ass hole to cruise in the left lane and force me to pass them on the right. #PETPEEVE

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  42. I have the ultimate special kind of asshole story to share with you.

    My boat was anchored and someone kept fouling (for non-boaters, that means pulling it up and unsetting it, leaving your boat adrift) my anchor. First time I anchored, boat sat firm for 9 days. Second time in two and a half days the anchor was dragging. Third time, the very next morning after I left the boat it was adrift. Toss in the inconvenience: I live two ferry rides and about 6 hours away from this place, so it's not like I could just whip over and fix the problem. Completely fishy (pardon the pun). So I moved the boat because an anchor set for three tides with no problem doesn't foul in under 12 hours in a sheltered cove.

    Well I figured out just what kind of a special kind of asshole he is. I went back to the place (hiking this time). I figured it was a resident, the area is all vacation homes (worth close to a million dollars as well). Guess what I found. A special kind of asshole - so special that he built a fence blocking a trail to the park I was going to, forcing everyone to go up a hill and take a long time around, turning a 5 minute hike on flat ground into a 20 minute hike with elevation.

    I figure they must be the same person. It takes a completely special kind of asshole to go to the effort of erecting a fence to inconvenience people, all while building his own trail to the park complete with a door separate from the rabbit trail that he blocked. Its not like the rabbit trail went through his yard, or even within sight of any of his 5 houses. He also built the fence directly next to the sign showing which way the park was.

    His problem? He runs a AirBNB or VRBO property probably making well over ten grand a weekend in the summer. My boat was directly in his view. Not a derelict vessel either, well maintained, it was recently washed, and has a BMW sticker on the side.

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