Tuesday, October 20, 2015

why colds are rude


A cold looks at your schedule and to do list, laughs, and sets them both on fire. The cold is in charge and you will do its bidding, which is not much.

A cold doesn't allow you a moment of peace, much like a houseguest that won't leave, a person that won't stop talking, or someone who won't give you enough personal space in line.

A cold is an energy vampire, making simple tasks seem arduous and difficult. Get up to get a drink? No thanks, the kitchen seems far...I'll just lay here and die of thirst instead.

A cold makes you a pariah. People would rather sit next to a pile of dog turds than you and your germs.

A cold turns you into a QVC addict, but your QVC is the drug or natural food store...or both when you get really desperate. I'll take one of everything.

Since you will open your wallet and pay any amount of money for any product that will make the cold go away by day three, a cold is a thief.

A cold is a trickster and a killer of dreams. When you think you're getting better, you go to Homegoods and surprise! You're not. So you have to leave your cart full of dreams and leave the store. I had plans for those things.

Colds threaten you...if you don't be quiet and keep to yourself, they might infect a man in your household. Then you'll have to deal with the dreaded man cold while you're still trying to bounce back from your own cold.

A cold makes you more impatient and irritable than normal...which for me is really fucking impatient and irritable

See? Rude. 

What is not rude - my aunt Lori, who is always a beacon of awesome in my life. We've had so many adventures and good times together with so many more ahead. I love hanging out with her whether we're doing something or both just sitting around reading. Today is her birthday, along with my aunt Dawn & uncle David. Happy birthday triplets!


 photo purple_zpse5f7f916.png

36 comments:

  1. I'm with you on the cold train...ugh...hoping we both feel better soon!

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  2. I like that font you used on your title image. Colds never seem to leave and always hit when I have LOTS to do. Rest is really the best thing, but hard for most women I think. Happy Birthday to your aunt Lori and her siblings!!

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  3. Feel better soon! I hate how colds throw you off everything :(

    Hollie | hollieshighlights.blogspot.co.uk

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  4. Bah! This post cracked me up, but I'm sorry you're so sick! Feel better soon!

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  5. LOL... this whole post. I think a cold epitomizes that word skulking.

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  6. Ugh I feel your pain girl!! I am battling something myself and was last week too - why did it come back!!!?? xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

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  7. JMJ! This cold needs to go. Lola is missing her Aunt Steph. Amen to our Lori. I instagrammed that she has been with me through thick and thin and we are true soul sisters!! Continuing to reprogram your cells to perfection and asking for all negativity to be released and absorbed by the white light. It's free. Be gone wicked cold and horrible cough.

    Love, Your MOMMA

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  8. Colds are rude, I hope you're feeling better today!

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  9. Colds are the worst, but nothing like the man cold. Feel better, here's to MFD not catching it!

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  10. Barf, colds are soooooo rude. The only good thing about them is time on the couch, other than that, PEACE!

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  11. I agree that colds are the worst! I would rather have the flue than a cold. I hope you get better soon.

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  12. The actual worst. I hope you feel better so soon!

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  13. I hear ya girl - I'm going on Week 4 (yes, you read that right) of being sick. It keeps changing forms and getting better, and then worse, and I'm losing my mind. On Sunday a sore throat started so I finally went to the doc for meds. But I'm cranky, irritable, unmotivated and just out of it lately. And I laughed about your money thing; I spent $70 in CVS yesterday buying all kinds of shit for this. Hope you feel better soon!

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  14. haha killer of dreams. so true. they last forever and EVER

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  15. You're right, they are just rude. Not bad enough to warrant sympathy and retreating to bed for a few days, but just annoying enough to make you a cranky jerk who hates everyone and everything. Feel better soon!

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  16. Ugh colds are the worst!!!! Of course, nothing is worse than the man cold though! LOL! I hoe you start feeling better ASAP!!!

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  17. hahah to this "No thanks, the kitchen seems far...I'll just lay here and die of thirst instead.". So true. I stayed home with a cold last week and I was like maybe while I'm hacking up my lungs, I will hang that picture I've been meaning to hang really fast. I stood up, touched the hammer and was like nope, nope, nope.

    I honestly wouldn't mind colds too much if work didn't have a way of piling up while you're suffering from one. But since they don't make my workload any less and I'm just losing time, they definitely make life hard.

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  18. Oh my goodness I am sick as well! I totally feel you on this! Also the man cold is a real thing and you better believe that I'm walking around disinfecting everything I touch out of fear that my husband will get sick because then it will be the end of the world!

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  19. I hope you start feeling better soon! The man cold is the worse to contain woman, contain!

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  20. Freaking colds are the worst. I am always that person that it becomes a "theif" to and I spend so much money at Walgreens it's embarassing. I need to try everything to make it stop. Hope you get feeling better soon! My tactic is lots and lots and lots of sleep, usually drug induced...

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  21. My husband take the remote away from me if he catches me watching QVC on a lazy couch day... I'll get so sucked into whatever product -who cares if I never cook - I need that 50 piece pot& pan set!

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  22. Colds sound a lot like kids minus the QVC part. Hope you feel better soon!

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  23. So sorry you're sick :(. See this is another reason I dislike fall & winter! The kids I watch have just started getting all these cold weather germs and I'm doing everything I can to keep them away! Colds are the worst. Feel better soon!

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  24. *Hugs* hope you feel better soon, the worst thing about colds is how long they linger and just won't seem to go away :-P

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  25. i think you could also change out "cold" for "allergies". since my boyfriend and i moved to Arizona his have been haunting him at every waking moment! rest up and feel better! :)

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  26. Just reading this made me sniffle. Feel better!

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  27. aww happy birthday to your aunt Lori, and her triplet siblings!

    colds are so effing rude. i hate them. i get irrationally mad with them / myself when i am sick.

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  28. Being sick is only fun when you can miss school as a kid. I hope you're on the mend soon!

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  29. I hope the cold has gone away by now. Such a nagging and uncomfortable thing!

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  30. Thank you for the birthday wishes!!

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  31. I hope you feel better soon! Colds are awful...especially when you're so congested and not able to sleep!

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  32. I hate the colds with the bad coughs. It's like the obnoxious neighbor having parties outside way too late and talking at the top of his/her lungs even though there's no sound around to compete with. Just go away so I can sleep! Hope you feel better!!!

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  33. I made quinoa for my dinner last night and spilled it alllll over the counter. I almost had a meltdown and had to ask Pete to clean it up for me because I was too "weak/tired" to do it myself. OH THE HUMANITY!
    The man cold is definitely way worse...

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  34. I read this when I had a cold and it was super validating. MY QVC was watching the entire first season of Empire in a weekend. Highly recommend it btw.

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    Replies
    1. I am far behind on the Empire train - I keep meaning to catch it!

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