Sunday, January 11, 2015

The Golden Globes - Alternately Titled: Shameless Ogling of Celebrities

Globes night! Let's get to the important shit. Oh, me? Well I'm wearing plaid flannel pajama pants by Old Navy and slippers by Bath and Body Works. Self-styled. Eat your heart out, Hollywood.

My non-fashionista picks for best dressed:
-Amy Adams. I wish she was wearing a nice berry lipstick but, bygones.
-Christine Baranski. Fabulous color for her and a lovely dress.
-Jennifer Aniston. This woman does not age. Classy.
-J.Lo. I like that she's always looking like J.Lo. She's not trying to hide her J.Lo-ness just because it's a dress up event. And LOL for days at Jeremy Renner telling her she had the globes. hahaha. This woman also does not age. If my name was Jennifer, would I not age? Moving on.
-Helen Mirren. Younger ladies, take note. The Dame also wore a pen to support free speech. Dame Helen, I salute you.
-The ladies in yellow: Leslie Mann and Naomi Watts. I love bold color choices that are executed well. Both of these are.
-I typically dislike white and I wish she was wearing a stronger lip color, but I liked Julia Louis Dreyfus.
-Viola Davis. Fierce.
-I loved Amal Clooney's gown, hair, makeup. I think she's stunning. Tonight though, those white gloves killed it for me.
-Jessica Chastain. Very va-va-voom. You go girl.
-Kevin Spacey. Nice glasses, sir. You're very dapper.
-Robert Downey Jr. RDJ makes my list every year. No apologies.
-Matt Bomer. He's just incredible looking.

My non-fashionista picks for worst dressed:
-Rosamund Pike. What the shit is going on here? Everything is awful. Except her haircut.
-Claire Danes, I don't even know what to say.
-Ruth Wilson. I truly love you, Ruth, but I do not love your dress.
-Amanda Peet, where did you think you were going? A 1980s pajama party on the set of Dynasty?
-Juliana Margulies, I'm disappointed. I cannot believe you made me put you on this list.
-Keira Knightmare. I mean Knightly. Good Lord. This is hideous.
-Kerry Washington. Is this an 80s prom dress?
-Melissa McCarthy...you hurt my soul with this, girlfriend. You hurt my soul.
-Kristen Wiig. Her spray tan was in the tone of Oompah Loompah.

I'm certain I've asked this before, but why is Seacrest famous? He sucks. I switch over to NBC as soon as I can because I cannot stand him. The Glam Cam 360 on E makes me sick to my stomach. Fire Seacrest and get rid of the Glam Cam, E. Get it together.

Tina and Amy, I think we would be fast friends. Call me. Emily Blunt and Julianne Moore, you too.

Can we talk about the opening monologue? Where Tina slayed Clooney because he's getting the lifetime achievement award and his wife's resume is much more impressive and important in actual real life? And how Tina and Amy mentioned that taboo subject: Cosby slipping pills in women's drinks? Speak it, ladies. Speak it. The jabs at North Korea too. I love these strong, smart, funny women.
Couples I love: Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts. Anna Farris and Chris Pratt, and Joshua Jackson and Diane Kruger (I could loan her some lipstick, which she needs with this gown). Also this statement was made just so I could put a picture of Grown Up Pacey on here right now.
Hair WTFs:
-Katie Holmes
-Allison Williams
-Juliana Margulies

Prince is a modern day pimp with 70s flair.

I like that Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal showed up together. I would totally go to an awards show with my brothers.

Speeches I loved:
-I don't know the girl who won for Jane the Virgin, but her speech was heartfelt and awesome.
-Matt Bomer: He was wonderful in A Normal Heart. It was an important film and I'm glad he was recognized for it.
-Jeffrey Tambor: A great speech casting a bright, positive, necessary spotlight on the transgender community.
-Kevin Spacey: I fucking love him. I'd have dinner with him any day of the week. What a conversationalist and story teller.
-Michael Keaton. Drunk, eccentric, but from the heart. For a minute I thought it was going to a really weird place, and maybe it did a little, but I actually think it turned out quite nice. To be standing up there so far beyond your wildest dreams and tell people where you came from, how far you are from where you started, that's not a bad thing. Gratitude is never a bad thing.

This was sort of a live blog of the red carpet and show, which makes little sense when you're reading it after, but hey...what can you do? You could put away laundry, that's what you could do. What I could have done at least. I'd rather be snarky.

Pics in this post picked up from Variety, E Online, Tom and Lorenzo, and Hollywood Life.


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23 comments:

  1. The last 14 years of American Idol=Seacrest. That's how he's famous. Famous and annoying. Why can't we make all that money annoying people?

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  2. What a fabulous recap!! I loved seeing grown up Pacey. And I agree with you about that opening monologue, it was pretty perfect all around. I feel like that Bill Cosby moment got super awkward but something just need to be said.

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  3. Excellent commentary. I only watched smidgens and saw pictures on Instagram. I like Kevin Spacey, too. Love James Spader more. The Virgin girl was very nice! Missed Michael Keaton's speech. Katie Holmes. Jmj!
    Never thought she was a great beauty.
    I know these people all have the means to look gorgeous but some don't ! Jane Fonda looked way better than Lily Tomlin. Helen Mirren always looks divine. So fun to watch.
    So fun to read about. Love, Your Momma

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  4. All your best dressed were mine. And what was Kerry wearing!!!!!!!! Tina and Amy were hilarious and that Cosby bit was funny. Did you see peoples faces - priceless. ha!

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  5. I seriously love Joshua Jackson and Diane Kruger. What a couple.
    I had it on in the background while I was doing something else and I saw J.Lo and was like, "eh, this is why I'm not paying attention and/or caring". I cannot take her seriously. What has she done that is relevant this year with films?

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  6. Love what you pulled together for viewing comfort. Brave to wear holiday colors but you pulled it off beautifully.

    I really love both of the yellow dresses. I agree on the lipstick. I didn't watch myself but plan to check out the opening monologue at some point today.

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  7. I watched the first half and loved Jeremy Renner and of course Tina and Amy together :)

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  8. It seemed like a lot of people were really crabby last night. Maggie Gyllenhaal's has a tremendous chip on her shoulder. She's smart and lovely and a great actress, but must she always lecture? Ruth Wilson, from The Affair, had a terrible dress on and clearly did not care about winning her award. Francis McDormand had a terrible resting bitch face on every time the camera cut to her, which was often, and Anniston didn't do much better.

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  9. My number one fav is your red center pic... I agreed with all the worst too - they look like they are wearing sacks. I mean, I get it - they're probably borrowed, but hire a tailor. :-P

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  10. I don't get Seacrest either.
    And I love that you posted what you wore for the Golden Globes. I giggle, because it's something I would totally do!

    AND - Melissa McCarthy - WHAT THE WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?

    Otherwise, RDJ is always on my list, and Kevin Spacey is the MAN.

    So - I totally agree with all of this!

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  11. the george clooney skit from tina and amy had me cracking up

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  12. I didn't watch it but love looking at pictures the next day. your outfit is by far my favourite. and then I love Helen Mirren, Viola Davis and ok all of your top picks. And I LOVE Keira Knightley yeah I'm a loser but girl wtf are you wearing, just because you're pregnant does not mean you start wearing ruffles and bibs like your child is going to. WTF.

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  13. I completely missed the Golden Globes this year. I'm such a slacker! I love all of your best and worst picks. I'm so glad that someone recapped so I could still see the fashion.

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  14. Love your picks for best dress and worst dressed, totally agree. I missed most of it but i caught some of the monologue which was hilarious!

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  15. i love your recap especially since I didn't watch the whole thing. i love your comment about J.Lo being J.Lo- so accurate!

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  16. You got some clear images up there, nice! Thanks for the recap because I totally didn't watch it and just love the best/worst dressed rounds up instead. Totally loved Julia Louis Dreyfus in white and yea to Helen Mirren for rocking an amazing dress and that pen. EWWWW to Rosamund Pike. Her boobs are in the wrong place.

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  17. OOOhhhh as usual I love the red dresses. I am also glad I am not the only one to immediately notice JLO's friends... good night!! As for the worst dressed... yikes. They need to rethink their stylists for sure! And I smiled when I saw Pacey!! Who knew he would get married! Haha. By the way... love your attire!

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  18. If we could all grow up, look, act, and dress like Helen Mirren...this would be a fabulous world!

    I agree with almost all your picks, but I'm bored with JLo and Jennifer Aniston's looks. They are incredibly beautiful women, but I feel I've seen these same looks over and over again. Yes, go with what works, but sometimes that means that I will be bored.

    Great post!

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  19. I only tune into the awards shows for the red carpet and opening monologue. I was DYING when they started on Bill Cosby, more so because of the audience's reaction. As for the fashion - JLo was impeccable and I also loved Kate Hudson's daring dress.

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  20. I also loved Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda on how, yes, men can be funny, too.

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    Replies
    1. Me too Mary Jane! I want to check out their show.

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  21. I was gonna say the same thing about J.Lo... she does NOT age! Shit... I never even looked THAT good in my fucking prime!!!! Melissa McCarthy reminds me of a pilgrim. (I don't watch these but I always love looking at the clothes in the days after, haha! Your outfit is my fave of all.)

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