Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Lessons I'm Not Learning

You know when you do something you've done before and didn't like the results of but due to a slight variation in circumstance or insane and unfounded optimism on your part, you think you should give it another go? I have some of those things. When it turns out to be a shitshow again I could kick myself because I knew it would be. And who likes to tell their own self I told you so? No one.

For me these things include:
  • Asking MFD to take a photo for me when he's in the middle of something. See above. The End.
  • Painting my nails after 9:00 p.m. Hello, sheet marks. 
  • Going to Shop-Rite. I will always think I'm getting a deal, end up spending eleventy billion dollars, and wish I just went to Redner's.
  • Speaking in the morning. For a 15 minute time period before I leave the house, I am a psychotic hose beast and I shouldn't open my mouth. MFD can attest to this and has in fact imitated my insanity in a dead on reenactment for my family and caused my step mom to almost wet her pants. 
  • Buying too much heavy shit at Trader Joe's at lunch. Not a problem, I can carry this turns into regretskies a block into the walk back. 
  • Thinking I'll be sure to remember something I need from the grocery store even if I don't write it down. Then I forget it at the store but magically remember it as soon as I'm on my way  home.
  • Staying up late for any reason when I have to get up early the next day. Hell awaits all afternoon! There's not enough coffee in the world. 
  • Planting petunias. They're so pretty, I say. They have so many colors, I plead. Try again, I whisper. By the end of June I'm out there deadheading all the freaking time, cursing those leggy bastards and vowing to never plant them again. 
  • Applying liquid eyeliner. Oh, you weren't going for the emo eye makeup look? Well then.
Via
What are some of your man I could kick myself for doing this again things? 

 photo purple_zpse5f7f916.png

Linking up with Kathy for Humpday Confessions.
 Linking up with Shanna for Random Wednesday

43 comments:

  1. wearing mascara is a big one for me. i'm cursed with short, asian lashes so once in a while, i'll forget why i dno't wear mascara, put it on and then mid-way through the morning, i'll look in the mirror and see myself standing there with two black eyes. that's when i remember: oh yeah, THAT is why i don't wear mascara...so that i can avoid looking like i got my ass kicked.

    thanks for linking up!

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  2. My biggest one is "running into Target for JUST ONE THING." Ha. Ain't never gonna happen. Target is not a place in which you can buy just one thing. The sooner I actually learn this, the sooner I'll have more money. :)

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  3. Yes, any type of grocery shopping on my lunch break. I'm like "I just won't buy cold stuff" and then I do and have to hog the work fridge and look like an ass.

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  4. Shop Rite is not right, they get you every time! LOL on the Mike Doyle picture-taking! I kind of like dead-heading the petunias, it's a peaceful thing for me. Listing stuff is a must for me! I do the Redner's small cart and get 50 million things, duh! I need to listen to my smart voice way more often- it is usually correct.
    #liveandlearn Love your Momma

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  5. P says that all the time, "I will just remember", and I always have to insist he put it in his phone. I say do you really want to hear what I have to say when you come home without it...does the trick every time :) I don't understand how anyone uses liquid eyeliner, especially on their lower lash line...it is beyond me :)

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  6. Hahaha, yessss to the liquid eyeliner! LOL...also yes I am not a morning person. Well, I am I suppose but not at 6:30...I need to wake up before anyone can speak to me

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  7. I do the grocery store list and nail polish thing. Also the binge watching a TV show way passed my bedtime thinking my child will actually sleep until a reasonable time and I won't be a potential cast member for The Walking Dead. That does not happen.

    I can do liquid eyeliner but for the life of me, I cannot at all do a smoky eye. I look like I got my ass kicked in a bar fight when I attempt it. Yet I keep thinking I can. It does not get better.

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  8. Lol! Liquid eyeliner is something I'm taking my time exploring - I'm getting better at it but still haven't gotten the hang of the "cateye" situation so baby steps. I actually stay up late more than I should and suffer the consequences severely the day after. #yolo. I hate speaking in the AM and also when highly angered and bothered. I like to keep to myself during those moments. :) Happy Hump Day Stephanie and skip the petunias this year! -Iva

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  9. I'll come deadhead your petunias I love doing it!

    I never ever go to the grocery store with out a list or putting something I need on the list. Otherwise it just ends with a bunch of money spent on stuff that goes with nothing else I bought.

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  10. Hahahahahhahah @ the eyeliner!
    I'm gonna NEED to see a video of MFD doing his impression of you!!!!

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  11. I almost never wear eyeliner because I forget about it unless I'm getting fancy! I shouldn't talk to people till 30-60 minutes after waking or after coffee whichever is later. Not nice!

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  12. i love these! it took me YEARS to be ok at liquid liner, and i'm still not even 'good' at it. haha.
    i dont like to talk to people in the morning, yet they keep doing it. stop!
    omg the grocery store! im like, how can i forget we need toilet paper? but i do. alllll the time.

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  13. Never fails that I always forget what I need at the grocery store if it's not on the list!! And will angrily remember the instant I get home.

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  14. Thank you for your post.. Anytime I actually have to up early, those are the nights I find that I can't go to sleep.. or start binge watching a TV show..

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  15. Every time I wake up with the digestive system from Hell after I pig out on gluten-filled treats all day. EVERY. DAMN. TIME.

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  16. I do the grocery stores things all the time- both buying too much and regretting it while lugging it home AND forgetting something. Today I have to get flour at CVS because I have forgotten it the last two times I grocery shopped.

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  17. I suck at applying liquid liner as well. Its just odd. Also I sound so weird when I wake up as well but my face gets all puffy and im just a hot ass mess so that no big surprise!

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  18. Oh my gosh Steph Yess to it all!! Especially spending a ton of $$ when you were only going in for a few things and liquid eye liner! I dont even bother with that crap anymore lol! I turn into a crazy person when trying to apply it. I gave up a loong time ago lol! Great post Steph!

    Lisa,xo
    http://chiclittlethrills.blogspot.com/

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  19. Thinking people will change.

    They don't.

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  20. I wear uncomfortable shoes thinking that this will be the wear that finally breaks them in... and it never is. I need to just give up! The rare day that I decide to skip coffee, I always regret it once 3pm hits. That's the worst...

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  21. Ugh I do the SAME thing with my nails! That photo also cracks me up!

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  22. Hahahaha that last picture!

    Uhmmm wearing heels..trying to pain my nails, wearing lipstick I suck at being a girl!

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  23. LOL!!! I am dying at your petunias conversation with yourself!!! And MFD's impression of you! He needs to do it for all of us to see!!

    I always will not write something down to get at the store then magically remember on my way home...or when I am home putting everything else away. I mean, get your shit together Nadine!!!

    I always regret wearing painful shoes. Like, I try them on and I am like ok these aren't so bad...maybe it was another pair I was thinking about. Then around noon I am like WTF why didn't I throw these bitches out last time I wore the devil shoes.

    The same goes for certain tops. It is all fine and dandy before I leave the house, then I remember that my girls like to make appearances and wont stay in the damn shirt for the rest of the day I am pulling it up and adjusting.

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  24. Oh good lord yes to almost all of these. Especially the liquid liner thing. I just need to stay far, far away from that crap!

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  25. I'm with you on a lot of these. michael takes THE most awkward pics of me and how do people do eyeliner so effortlessly?

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  26. YES to liquid eyeliner. I literally always get in into my eye and then get its black and inky - please tell me this happens to you too

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  27. I always buy bananas at the grocery store and then don't eat them. I KNOW I don't like bananas, but I always think, "I'll put them in a smoothie" (and I haven't made one in years), or "I'll make banana bread when they go bad" and then I don't find the time when they are just ripe enough, so they rot. I just need to stop buying them!

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  28. going to Hy-Vee grocery shopping instead of just going to Price Chopper or Walmart ... i always end up spending way more than i do at heither of hte other two stores.

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  29. Are you ready for me to solve your sheet marks problem? Like you can literally paint your nails and midnight and not get them?

    Go to the store, and get the Sally Hansen Quick Dry Drops. They will solve your problems with just a drop on each nail. I have already gone through bottles and bottles of the stuff.

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  30. Not putting something on the grocery list and thinking I'll remember is definitely one of mine. Another is doing laundry late at night..."No, I'll definitely stay up to fold/hang it when it comes out of the dryer." Wrong.

    -Heather
    I do what I want.

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  31. The photo is AWESOME! My husband won't even take a photo of my if I need it. I either ask my 4 year old or I try to selfie it! Laundry is number one on my list. A close second is actually going to bed when I say I will. Moving into bed to watch more TV is not going to bed. Neither is reading or painting toe nails. GO TO BED!

    But seriously.. the photo. I mean I guess you did ask for a photo...hahah

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  32. I always attempt to run errands during my lunch break. And inevitably said errand ends up taking way longer than expected, and I either panic and bail or get all stressed out because I'm running late. Just do it after work, fool. Great post, btw!

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  33. 100% yes on the damn grocery one. I have to make a note or I forget. Even if it's the single solitary reason for my trip, like toilet paper or dog food. It MUST be on a note somewhere, even if it's just the back of my hand. I think it's because the store gets me so riled with everyone and their stupidity that I forget things.

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  34. taco bell breakfast is mine

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  35. Haha I can completely relate to your grocery shoppin experience. In college my roommate/bestie and I lived only a few blocks from the store so we would walk. half way back though we would curse ourselves for bein "fatties" and buyin too much...sigh, we never learned b/c we did that for an entire year every week haha

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  36. Sometimes even when I DO write grocery items on the list I forget to get them. But I'm right there with you, always thinking "oh, I'll remember." Similarly, I'll put something away at home, certain that I'll remember where I put it, then drive myself nuts trying to find it later.

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  37. I always seem to ask Mark to take a picture when he's right in the middle of something....the other night he said "wasn't your friend suppose to help you?"......wrong answer.....wrong answer......

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  38. Dude the list thing! "It's only 3 things I got this...." "Shit I have 5 things in my cart but don't remember what at least 1 of the things I needed was"

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  39. I'm the same way about painting my nails. I always have these grand plans to paint them earlier in the evening, but life gets in the way and by the time I get around to it I don't have a lot of time for them to dry before bed :-P

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  40. My not learning lesson is the "just one more"' drink. Need to remember it's been over 10 years since college and my drinking days are over!!

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  41. Letting out Maxwell without his electronic collar on. We have vast amounts of land he can wander around. He doesn't listen and he eats poop yet at one point every day I throw caution to the wind and out he goes collarless. 5 minutes later out I stomp screaming and yelling like a banshee. Every day...

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  42. I have the same problem with Target as you do with Shop Rite.

    And I forget grocery store stuff often.

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  43. lol to MFD's picture, hahah. And yes to the grocery store!!! I always think I'll "just remember!" when I'm there but never do.

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