Thursday, January 30, 2014

Thursday Thoughts: You know I'm pissed off if...


  • I'm hangry. Hungry + angry. It's a real thing and you do not want to see the demon hell witch I become when I'm hangry. I make the Exorcist look like Tinkerbell.
  • Your kid is freaking the fuck out in a restaurant for an extended period of time and you don't ask to get your check and food to go. 
  • My pants are tight at the waist or wet at the hem. Both of those things incite me like red incites a raging bull.
  • Alex Trebek is speaking, acting like he knows the answers when he's reading them from a goddamn card.
  • I'm waiting in line anywhere for longer than one minute. You can tell if it's been longer than one minute because I'm rocking back and forth, tapping my foot, shifting whatever I'm carrying around in my arms, looking pointedly between my watch and the person who's causing the hold up, and sighing audibly. If you see me somewhere in line and I'm doing these things, for the love of God save yourself and stay away.
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  • You're late to meet me and the excuse is not death or accident.
  • You've made me late to something and the excuse is not death or accident.
  • I have to double back and drive somewhere twice. 
  • People are bitching about the State of the Union interrupting their very important TV programs - do you know how many people around this world are under the thumb of a dictator? Stop complaining about democracy. 
  • Anyone asserts that women should not make the same pay as men for any reason, especially reasons like they've had maternity breaks in their careers. I will not waste time debating equal pay or arguing with you, I will simply hand you your ass and send you on your way. I don't want to fucking hear it. I'm fed up. It's 2014. Equal pay, now.
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  • I hear about stupid assholes who think they're entitled to other people paying for their lives. True story: my friend Emily showed me a link to a fundraising site where the people set up a page because they have a lot of weddings to attend this year and also have a kid to raise. They were asking people to contribute so they can afford to go to everything. Are you fucking kidding me? Fundraising sites are not for raising money to attend social events, you fucking peons. If you can't pay you don't go. If you can't afford to have kids, you don't have them. You are not entitled to do whatever you want to do and expect the world to fund it. You asshole. 

Lay it on me: __________ pisses me off.

Super bowl this weekend! If you're looking for stuff to make, I suggest jalapeno popper dip, hoagie dip, pickle dip, and bacon double cheeseburger dip.

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46 comments:

  1. Gah... waiting in lines... I know it's cliche, but thank god for smartphones to play games/text/facebook/etc on while I wait in stupid lines or I would really go crazy.

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    Replies
    1. I hear you Sarah - I need my phone for a distraction!

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  2. are you kidding me about that site?! people actually have the NERVE to put up shit like that and think that people are dumb enough to actually pay them?! what is this world coming to.....

    and hell to the yes for people who are late or make me late. that shit pisses me off to no end.

    kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  3. Amen to all of this! Every bit! All this plus people dragging their feet when they walk piss me off

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  4. I found myself saying yes...yes...YES to all of them!

    Will you give the person a pass about lateness if they are taking SEPTA/PATCO to meet you? :-)

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  5. Those GoFundMe sites are insane! I saw one the other day that was "help us pay off our student loans". I was like, the rest of the country has student loans and pays them off...so you should too. Kthxbye. :)

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  6. People are so ridiculous with their fundraising sites now! Even the ones about adopting kids... when did it become okay to ask your peers to fund your life choices? When you reply to this comment, I will send you the worst one I have seen yet! "Stop complaining about democracy" wins this post. though. YES.

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  7. Brilliant! Love this! In my Dalaimomma-ness, I immediately squash any anger-like feelings I have. It is nicer for my cells. Took me many years to learn this. However, I usually curse like a sailor when I am driving-if it is excessive cursing, I add pardon my French. Not using turn signals is unacceptable. It is so easy & prevents many accidents. I did contribute to a GoFundMe for a local family of TEN who lost everything in a house fire. I do not like lateness and would rather be 15-20 minutes early than be late. Always a pleasurable read. I am so damned grateful for my nice warm house and not having to leave it that much. I wish everyone, everywhere would have a nice, cozy home. #theresnoplacelikehome Love your MOMMA

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  8. Ummm everything on your list pisses me off too, and traffic. Going 20 mph on the highway when it is not because of an accident, which kinda goes along the lines of making me late. That Bacon Cheeseburger Dip looks so good. P.S. You Momma is awesome! :)

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  9. Oh man... the entitlement thing!!!!!!!!! and the fundraiser thing - I saw one for a perfectly healthy young woman, proud of being a stay at home mom (a single one, with 2 kids), who inadvertently became pregnant AGAIN and wants people to fund her sorry life! WTF?? and don't get me strated on lateness...

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    Replies
    1. Ugh Mare! I do not get thinking others should fund your life choices.

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  10. Omg the doubling back thing! If I'm running a bunch of errands you bet your ass I've planned out my route very carefully and then all of sudden husband forgot he needed something somewhere or wants to add some random place. It drives me crazy!!!!!! Also being late gives me mini anxiety attacks haha.

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  11. P.S. it's cracking me up that on my screen it's the picture of your dogs right next to the entitlement one and they have these "i'm tired of this crap" looks going on. Dying!

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  12. Ummm… WHAT? Why would you think you were entitled for other people to pay for shit for you? GRRRR. Also, equal pay. Yes, my husband & I work for the same company and know what each other makes - not the same. Boo. And thank you for helping spread the word on Hangry. It's a legit thing and people need to understand. Happy Thursday friend.

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  13. i like you more by the minute. i really really do. agree to all of this. especially lines. and when people are late . and the state of the union. COME ON NOW. so yes to all. can we be friends in real life?

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  14. You have GOT to be fucking KIDDING me about the fundraising site. That shit is for illness, death... not so you can go to a fucking social event! I hate people. I really do.

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  15. Wow that fundraising thing is fucking ridiculous. I cannot believe that! Anyways what pisses me off is when I'm driving and someone pulls in front of me cutting me off and then proceeds to go 15 under the speed limit

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  16. Hey... so um... I have some weddings this summer but want to rent a beach house for a week. Want to help me start a fundraising site?

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  17. WHAT. What site is this?!?!! Do people actually donate to that shit?! WTF

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  18. My blood pressure is rising hearing about that fundraising site....I see it every day because I work in Pediatrics....don't even get me on my soap box about the generation growing up. I.am.scared. If I'm hangry you better be getting out of the way or handing me some chips and salsa!

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  19. "Your kid is freaking the fuck out in a restaurant for an extended period of time and you don't ask to get your check and food to go. " - Yes, yes, AND yes! I may feel differently one day when I have kids, but seriously?! Make your kid shut up, or leave the restaurant. It never makes sense to me since everyone is paying to enjoy a nice dinner. Shrieking doesn't really fall into that category.

    I also get angry when I go somewhere family-oriented (like a zoo, museum, etc.) and there are children running everywhere, screaming and blocking all the exhibits. Oh okay, cause it's not like I paid to see it all too or anything. (Wow do I sound bitter LOL!)

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  20. All of these things piss me off. The fundraising thing is just plain ridiculous and the person who actually donates to said funds is even worse!

    Recently when I was grocery shopping at Target, I was unloading my stuff at the register. This woman gets behind me and her daughter who is about 8 passes around my cart and starts fucking with stuff that I put up there. Then she starts ringing shit up for the cashier. The cashier thought she was my kid. Um no. She had rung stuff up multiple times. I finally said umm can you please not do that and go back with your mother. I dont feel like paying for you to play up here, you can go mess up your mothers bill. I made the cashier look to see what all was wrong up twice. Just ridiculous. As I was leaving I made the comment to Chris very loudly, "Not everyone thinks your kid is as cute as you do. Learn to control your brat!" I cant stand when people dont make their children mind and let them run around or throw a fit like some animal.

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  21. Daaaaaang, girl....someone is PISSED today!! LOL! Way to keep it real. And I was doing the same thing in line at the grocery store yesterday!! And nobody wants to see me hangry!!

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  22. THE LAST ONE MAKES ME RAGE. I thought, when I started reading, my major blowup comment was going to be the kids in the restaurant (because I hate children and entitled shitty parents) but then I got to the fundraiser. I HATE THEM I hate them so much, it's ridiculous and I want to know - who the hell are these people that donate the money?! John and I have no less than 5 weddings this year, and Hawkeye needs allergy meds and her yearly shots in March. Where do I sign up for people to give me money?!!

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  23. Hangry for sure!!
    Seriously if you cannot afford to go to all those things DON'T!! And I hope people aren't stupid enough to contribute!
    People driving 50 in a 75 pisses me off daily!!!
    Go Broncos:)

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  24. Nothing angers me more than screaming (actually shrieking) children at restaurants or at the store. I remember my mom pulling me outside if me or my brother ever acted like that. I understand kids get cranky especially after being out for a while, but know your child's limits. If they're cranky/tired and start fussing/crying/shrieking it's time to go home or at least take them outside for a bit.

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  25. Hangry is a legit state. I go from 0 to hangry in a very short period of time these days.

    The donating money sites kill me. Who are the people giving money to these? I have a really good one to share, but I won't post it here (for obvious reasons, as you'll see).

    I unfollowed two people on Twitter for bitching about the State of the Union being "boring" and complaining that is is on every channel and why would Barack Obama make all the TV stations show it, rather than just one. Because, you know, we live in a Communist country where BO controls the media broadcasts and FORCED every station to show the SOTU. I can't wait until all of the complaints about the Olympics interrupting TV. I like my TV shows, but I think we can all come together to watch people competing for our country and fore go our shows for two weeks.

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  26. People that chew with their mouth open. In no way do I wish to see or hear you eating your food. The crunching of crunchy food is acceptable but mouth open and smacking is grounds for having said mouth smacked shut.

    People who drive under the speed limit in the passing lane. It's the passing lane for a f*cking reason. Nothing gets me to road rage faster. NOTHING. If I wanted to drive 10 miles under the speed limit or the speed limit I'd be in the right lane, but instead I want to drive 10 miles over so get over or I'll ride your a$$ until you do and then you may flip me off as I fly by. Do NOT be pissed off at me for riding your a$$ when you refuse to get out of the passing lane going less than the speed limit. I do not feel guilty about this at all. I'm 42 and I pay $400 a year for full coverage insurance. I'm not afraid.

    People that tell me they are going to do something and then fail to do said something. Don't tell me you will do it and then not do it. If you never had any intention of doing it in the first place, just say so. I can live with that, it's the broken promise and me scrambling last minute that will cause me to cross you off my friendship list and say I don't need people like you in my life and move along.

    Lateness....you either have to be dead or dying. Those are the only two excuses.

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    1. I hate when people don't do what they say they're going to do. Grrrrrrrrrrrr!

      And I will definitely ride the ass of the person who pulls out in front of me and immediately slows down.

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  27. Yeah, at the moment pretty much EVERYTHING pisses me off - stupid cold! I could really write about 4 pages of stuff that angers me. . . .

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  28. Hangry is a legitimate state of being. Not sure how my husband hasn't figured this out after 7 years.

    I love my kids, but I surely won't let them ruin some one else's day with their tantrum. We've already hauled ass out of Target once because the meltdown wouldn't end. I refuse to go to restaurants after a certain hour because my kids just can't handle it. So, there are responsible parents out there. (Also, have you seen about the kid who was climbing IN an art exhibit and his parents stood by & encouraged him?)

    I admittedly get annoyed about the SOTU - but that's because I view it as posturing rather than actually productive. I also follow the news so I'm not ignorant about what's going on around me.

    What makes me angry: Customer service reps who don't provide customer service (looking at YOU, Bank of America), lazy teen workers who would rather stand around than do their job, and waiting an hour for a doctor appointment, then spending 5 minutes actually talking to the doctor.

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  29. I hate when people are late. Rude. Leave earlier just in case.

    I have to admit that I hate that the SOTU interrupts regular programmed television, but I don't complain about it. I just watch something else. Besides, nothing I normally watch was on those channels. Even if it was, I'd just watch something else. I mean theres 1872817278 channels to pick from.

    I've seen people that take advantage of those sites. Those sites are for unfortunate circumstances (not because you want to attend everything and can't), illnesses, and death... situations that we wouldn't wish upon anybody. Maybe I should start one so I can get that $2000 lens? JUST KIDDING. But seriously.... people need to realize if they want something they need to work, work a second job, sell stuff, but do it themselves. Also, it's called priorities.

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  30. I get pretty bad when I am hangry. I also pretty much hate being around kids that arent related to me at all times. particularly on an airplane

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  31. I am not a fan of lines either. There was only one checkout line open at Target today and that was not fun.

    And yes, I so wish people would remove loud children. If my kids were noisy past two minutes I felt the need to leave.

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  32. um yeah pretty much all these things piss me off too. but I might just have a short fuse (re: my blog post today ha). general obliviousness of other people always gets me - like they don't they're holding up a line of 10 people or they walk through a door that you clearly just opened for yourself. or this morning, the person who got all pissy at me when I went first at the intersection when I got there BEFORE them. I will cut you off lady - do not crazily gesture at me like I won't! ha. and... end rant.
    -- jackie - jade and oak

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  33. Yes to Alex Trebek and his know it all attitude! That guy pisses me off.

    People who do not drive the speed limit piss me off.
    Tyson never refilling the toilet paper roll pisses me off.
    Lazy people at work piss me off.

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  34. Asking for money for a
    Social event is douchey. But giving money for that? That's a special kind of stupid.

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  35. I become a raging bitch if I'm hangry.

    While it drives me crazy when people try fundraising for stupid things, part of me thinks that if people actually send them money, THOSE are the idiots. Unreal.

    And of course equal pay - YES. Nobody better dare tell me it's because of fucking maternity leave. That enrages me.

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  36. I'm convinced I wear boots with skinny jeans/pants tucked in almost exclusively now simply because WET HEMS push me over the edge. There is nothing grosser than wet pants or, God forbid, snow/rain seeping onto your socks because the bottoms of your pants are wet.

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  37. I'm hangry a lot. I'm just always hungry therefore making me angry too. but waiting in lines because some asshole probably takes the cake for me. I'm having a hard time believing that someone created a charity site so they can attend events, what the fuck is wrong with people?! AGH.

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  38. You literally had me laughing my ass off about the waiting in line for more than a minute!!!! I had to go to the Post Office today, brutal. You are too funny. Thanks so much for hte laughs.

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  39. The fundraising - it's all entitlement and THATS what pisses me off. A lot of it is from my own generation. We expect things. (not me personally...but you know) What are they teaching their kid? Oh wait... that they can have what they want, someone else can pay for it...say the government? I could go om, but instead I will agree with you on the being late. I hate it. Early is on time, on time is late, late means you're gone. Regarding the state of the union, kids it happens every year. Seriously? It's called watch DVR or go to bed. If you don't like the man, don't watch. Although that;s another thing that pisses me off....BE INVOLVED. Know what's going on. You have freedom to vote, speak, make a difference - be thankful. Ok. rant over.

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  40. Alex T. Suck it. I cannot even wrap my head around the donation site where people would ask anyone to fund their life. Late people with crapass excuses are sending a major message that you don't matter and I do not get hangry but have witnessed it many, many times.

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  41. So I shouldn't have a fundraising site for my wedding, that is what you are telling me?!? HOW DARE YOU, DICTATOR.

    jk I would never do that. Nor for the honeymoon either although I will gladly accept any money thrown my way for any reason.

    SUCK IT, TREBEK.

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