Friday, January 31, 2014

Friday Five - Another Steph's Irrational Fears Version


Today my friend Steph from Not Entirely Perfect is sharing her top five irrational fears with you, some of which amuse me greatly, I won't lie. Like #2. Anyway, Steph is a Chicago girl always sharing great things about her town along with purging and organizing magic and easy recipes for insane cocktail cupcakes. She also puts her annoyances right out there like moi and loves lists. And we're both named Steph. DUH. When you're done here, go read her 10 Best Tools For Organizing Finances that's up on her blog today that combines organizing and money, two of my favorite things!
                         Visit Steph at Not Entirely Perfect Twitter Instagram
my number one biggest fear of all time is - lawn gnomes.  yes, i run screaming from lawn gnomes like most people run from moving spiders or snakes. (which, ironically, i have no problems with either of those.)  and it's because lawn gnomes, besides just looking creepy, also come alive when the lights go out and kill you in your sleep.  obviously this fear can be traced directly back to a particularly vivid episode of goosebumps.  damnit goosebumps.  because of you i have to change the channel every time those stupid travelocity commercials come on.  don't even get me started on gnomeo and juliet, i'd rather bite my own fingernails off than sit through that.  i've always hated dolls too.  these things with eyes that follow you - just get rid of them people.  you'll thank me when they can't come slit your throat at night.  and true story, i wouldn't even google a photo of a lawn gnome to put on here, that's how much they terrify me.
australia.  i cannot fathom why everyone has a burning desire to visit australia.  ignoring the fact that it was largely uninhabited until great britain started stashing its prisoners there, i watched the 10 deadliest creatures on the planet and pretty much all of them reside in or around australia.  while normally i don't have a fear of spiders or snakes, i certainly don't want to die at the hands of one you don't even see coming while vacationing in the land down under.  i'll just stick to outback steakhouse, kthanx.
elevators.  for some reason, which i actually do not know the reason behind, i hate elevators.  i deal with them, but only because i work on the 36th floor.  but somehow i've convinced myself, despite the fact that it's never happened, that i'm going to be trapped in an elevator for eternity.  before i get into an unknown elevator, i have to check the top and make sure there's an escape route, because apparently if i was ever trapped in an elevator i would instantly turn into Ethan Hunt in mission impossible and climb out to the safety of the floor above me after i pry open the doors, even though i have no upper body strength to speak of and a debilitating fear of heights.  i did title this post irrational.
flying.  although, perhaps this one is not so irrational.  people were not meant to be up in the air, otherwise we would have wings.  gravity is my friend.  it's not actually a fear of flying though - it's a fear of crashing, burning, blowing up, and dying.  totally different.  my mom makes me wear gloves if i'm with her, because i dig my fingernails into her during takeoff and landing.
corn mazes.  have you seen children of the corn?  it was filmed in iowa.  i don't know how you people do it, live where there's no streetlights and you have to turn your high beams on to drive at night.  shudder.  but specifically, i'm terrified of the corn mazes that pop during halloween.  haunted houses are fun and i'm all about things jumping out at me, but corn mazes aren't too heavily guarded.  a real serial killer could sneak in the side and chase you with a chainsaw, and you're going to realize just a little too late that that chainsaw has real blades on it.  no thank you.

so, irrational things that could kill me is what i'm afraid of.  one of these 5 ways, that's how i'm going out my friends.  any bets on which one it'll be?  what are you irrationally afraid of?

Linking up with Joy as always


  1. corn mazes for sure. i'm always afraid that i'll get lost and no one will be able to find me. that, and what if people (aka muggers, rapists etc) jump out and attack me? no one will see!

    Vodka and Soda

  2. Oh Steph and Steph, I do love the two of you! Remember that show David The Gnome on Nickelodeon when we were wee lads? Oh holy hell, that show was creepy. My aversion isn't really to gnomes, but let's just say the movie Willow terrified me.
    Crickets. I have an irrational fear of crickets. Those bad boys are all jumpy, and I swear one is going to jump on me and eat me.
    SMD- The Time of My Life just came on <3

  3. I really want to go to Australia because who doesn't want to say g'day mate! ?! Children of the Corn did freak the hell out of me so I totally get the corn maze one.

  4. This is hysterical! Gnomes are creepy, and apparently I am happy to not have seen that goosebumps! Flying is a bit scary, but I remind myself I am more likely to die in a car crash.... Children of the Corn - with you 100%. No thanks. But my irrational fear is flying roaches. I think they are out to get me. Really.

  5. hahaha australia?! i just want to go because i love their weird accents and it looks like it's gorgeous. but good to know about the deadliest creatures. and yes, gnomes are creepy

  6. Haha we went to a corn maze with friends this past fall, and they kept mentioning Children of the Corn. I was having a great time, and then I started to freak out :-P

  7. My elevator fear is that the cable is going to break and we are going to plummet to the ground. That would be my worst nightmare.

    I am afraid of dark basements, especially unfinished ones. Weird shit goes on in basements.

  8. lawn gnomes do look like they'll kill you in your sleep. I went through a corn maze this past Halloween, it was awesome! but for the elevator fear, don't watch the movie Devil.

    my biggest fear is spiders. I can't even look at a picture of a spider, I freak out. I hate them.

  9. Yes, I love it when there are just a whole bunch of Steph's running around. I totally agree on Australia, but I can't agree on lawn gnomes - I think they are hilarious and cheesy.

  10. Yay! Thanks for having me Steph! (people's comments so far are making me feel so much more normal!)

  11. haha oh I love this! I have a slight fear of elevators too, but I realllllllly hate the ones that have a glass wall that you see out of while you're moving. worst thing ever. and I have a total irrational fear of worms, like if I see one I will run away screaming. dumb.
    -- jackie - jade and oak

  12. I did not know that about Australia....thank you for that information! I watched some program (I probably shouldn't tell you) where a woman got her leg caught in the elevator in between the floors....I literally take the stairs but then that's a desolate scary place....what are we suppose to do?!?!?!

  13. #2 is hilarious but she has a good point....good to know haha! I agree with elevators and flying but also have to deal with them to get through life

  14. Gnomes!! My sister-in-law is deathly afraid of these so we got her one for Christmas a few years ago. We thought it was funny.... Ha! And yeah, she still isn't speaking to us! Happy Friday, and thanks for linking up!! Y'all have a wonderful weekend!!!

  15. I also attribute my fear of dummies/dolls to Goosebumps. Night of the Living Dummy, hellur!

  16. All of these fears are legit, I agree!!!

  17. I love lawn gnomes!! We currently have two guarding our front porch, and I even crocheted one that resides in our living room. And I do desperately want to go to Australia. If it wasn't going to cost $123981239715 to fly there from Alaska, that's where we were going to honeymoon. Instead, we stayed 10 days in Hawaii at a nice hotel for the same price JUST the 2 plane tickets to Australia would have cost us.

    I've never been in a corn maze, but they make me think of that giant maze in The Shining, and I'm not sure I would enjoy being lost in something like that, murderous rampage-y man or not.

    I can't think of anything I'm irrationally afraid of...although currently I am afraid of staying in our house at the end of the road BY MYSELF while Isaiah is out of town, because there have been reports of lots of break-ins lately, WHILE PEOPLE ARE HOME...ughghghgh.

  18. There's a corn maze here every October that is terrifying. I refuse to go through it. There's people who throw up from fear - it's THAT scary. I mean, kudos for them for the great job at a truly scary corn maze, but it's certainly not for everyone.

    I'm terrified of heights, but flying doesn't bother me. I just can't look out the window during take off or landing. Elevators don't bother me, but stairs do. I'm not the most graceful person and I'm always scared I'll fall down.

    My biggest fear though is probably choking. I have a rule that my daughter can't eat anything she could choke on if she's alone. This one is probably not irrational though - she choked when she was 6 and I had to perform the Heimlich on her. I've never forgotten that fear and I don't think I ever will.

  19. I'm cracking up at Australia! I'll agree with lawn gnomes and corn mazes for sure. I have a fear of revolving doors, which stems from a 6th grade field trip to Pittsburgh during which a boy pushed me and my leg got stuck in the door and I fell flat on my face.

  20. My school has these awful, old elevators that totally freak me out so I can relate there. I won't get on those without my cell phone in hand because I don't trust the intercoms to work! Today I shared that I am creeped out by birds so perhaps we can add that to my irrational fear list?

  21. I've got issues with flying too - although completely different than yours. I can't stand being locked in that space with a ton of germy people I don't know. Give me a plane that is empty and I'm set. I don't care of the plane crashes and I die, it was obviously my time. But, put me on a plane with gross people farting and coughing (or god forbid, puking!) and then my brain thinking of the gazillions of people that have touched and coughed on everything and how I can't even breathe clean air, and I'm going to need a full bottle of Xanax to get rid of the panic attack (if I can get rid of it at all!)

  22. I do not like flying. Or elevators. Or lawn gnomes. The eyes look super creepy.

  23. Bahahahha... the lawn gnome thing is killing me! My ex-boyfriend and his brother used to hide one on each other and see who could freak the other out more.

  24. OMG on Australia so funny and so true. I had a woman tell me that she lived in Florida but was glad to move because everything down there is trying to kill you snakes, alligators, spiders LOL.

  25. Haha I'm so torn on Australia. Some days I think it'd be so cool to go & then the next I'm reading about how it's the scariest place on Earth. Spiders? Snakes? No Thanks!

  26. Haha these seem pretty rational to me...Especially Australia with the prisoners. I mean, I still want to go, but there's no denying the degenerates. Oh, and I've been in a plane crash, so that's totally legit.

  27. I hate escalators. It takes me about five seconds or so to get on.. I have to find the right step. I don't want to fall. I remember when I was little watching 20/20 or something.. there was a little boy that got his shoelaces stuck or some string on his jacket in it. Can't remember. They had to turn off the escalator, call 911, and revive him because it wrapped around him somehow and was cutting off his circulation. Ugh.

  28. I abhor lifts. It takes me around five seconds or somewhere in the vicinity to get on..
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