Thursday, December 19, 2013

Things I hate volume 293

Yes, I hate things even during the hap-happiest season of alllllllllll.
  • Driving behind a car with a TV playing in it, it's distracting as hell
  • How short the cord is on the iPhone charger. WHY.
  • Driving behind someone who is too lazy to remove the snow entirely from their car
  • When people crap on people who don't go gaga over the holidays. They're allowed their opinion and are not required to love everything Christmas. 
  • Movies on regular TV with good parts bleeped out, i.e. Major League when Roger Dorn says to Rick Vaughn I only got one thing to say to you: strike this mother fucker OUT and it's bleeped out. 
  • The term chillaxin. Can't it just be chillin' (also not a favorite, but okay) or relaxing?
  • Aviator sunglasses
  • Cleaning under furniture
  • 3D anything
  • Remembering something I forgot at the store or in my house as soon as I'm pulling away
  • Paper clutter, which makes living with the King of Paper Clutter interesting
  • Sara Smile. I hear it too often for a song that debuted in 1976 and was never good
  • Charades
  • When I'm making meatballs and my sleeve falls down and I can't fix it without washing my hands
  • Punks. My neighbor caught this kid stealing a box from his doorstep on Tuesday and scared a few more punks away from mine after they ripped open an Amazon delivery box containing a broom that is supposedly exceptionally good at collecting pet hair. Six kids were picked up by the cops, three were ID'd and charged. Said pet broom is now at the precinct in evidence, which should not make me laugh but does. A freaking pet broom. Guess what punk? Santa is really fucking pissed at your performance this week. 
  • Being in line behind a parent who is letting their child help at the checkout in the grocery store. Trust me, you are the only one who has the patience for this. Everyone else in line wants to strangle you.
  • Not having a book with me at all times
  • Wet leaves
  • GIFs, they give me motion sickness
  • Drawing, so Pictionary
  • Clicking on a pin on pinterest only to have it lead to nowhere
  • Black ice
  • Eating mashed potatoes or rice with a fork
And you? Go ahead, get it off your chest. Expunge all of your grinchy complaints right here. 

Tomorrow: why I think you should join me in a January Spending Freeze. 

 photo redsig_zps5103b6e2.jpg

37 comments:

  1. Post nasal drip, or as my ex called it, post cranial slip
    on the same note, allergies that persist into winter
    being cold
    being hot
    asshole knees
    shoes
    un-decorating
    VACUUMING

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  2. The holiday season simultaneously brings out both the best and the worst in everyone, so I think it is completely legit to feel hatred right now.

    I am with you on so many. Chillaxing needs to go away forever, as do people who do the self-checkout and bag everything in the middle of their order, leaving 27 people standing behind them just waiting, and then use 452 coupons that they will inevitably need help with.

    I also hate people who bring heavy suitcases as carry-ons and can't lift them up, doctor's offices who give you A LOOK when you are 5 minutes late, yet leave you sitting in the office for an entire hour before you get called back, students who send me emails that start with "hey", sharing my queen bed with John and two dogs, and last but not least, that stupid commercial with Michael Bolton on it. I think it is a car commercial.

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  3. Yessss! Listen, I like kids. I want a ton. I HATE when parents let their kids "help" at the grocery, push the elevator buttons...anything that delays grown ups. We babysit our niece and nephew fairly often and while they aren't "my" children, its too confusing to explain to strangers the scenario, so we just let it be if they think we're the parents. BUT no way do we let them help like that. They want to, but its annoying as shit. Just...no.

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  4. Excellent list! I hate when parents let their child run around the store unattended. Keep that shit under control, yo! If I hit your kid with my shopping cart because they ran out in front of me chasing God only knows what....that is not my problem.

    I also hate going to the doctors office and they hand you a pen to fill out your paperwork, but give you an annoyed look when you say no thanks, I have my own. I am NOT touching the thousands of germs on your nasty pen, bitch!

    When standing in line at a store, and a new register opens up and someone who just walked up goes in it without offering the spot to the 10 people who have been waiting in line for the last five minutes. RUDE!

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  5. So much yes to these, the cleaning under furniture is the worst. The worst sign comes out of me if I forget something after just leaving somewhere. The Queen Bee comes out in me when the punk kids in the house behind mine used to go up to our bordering fence and bark at my dog. You do NOT mess with my dog! I will break out full Bitch mode.

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  6. On my list as well is the too-short iPhone charger! Oh, and the worst is when you click on a pin on Pinterest and it says that users have reported it as spam. DANGIT!

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  7. haha I love this list! and seriously who eats taters and rice with a fork?? and animal that's who!

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  8. YES TO ALL OF THESE. punks like that need to be rounded up and shipped off to jails to spend 3 nights with the prisoners to get scared straight.

    also:
    bad/slow drivers
    people who freak out on the roads at the slightest dusting of snow. YOU LIVE IN TORONTO ASSHOLE, SNOW SHOULD NOT BE A SURPRISE TO YOU.
    games at showers, weddings, birthdays. AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FO' DAT.
    when the post office loses my shit or delivers stuff late.
    whenever they air die hard and censor the language. DIE HARD NEEDS TO HAVE CUSSWORDS BECAUSE IT'S DIE HARD!!

    now i'm off to chillax. yeah, i said it :D LOL

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

    ReplyDelete
  9. I love that you are publicly shaming that punk klepto on the interwebz.

    Things I hate: sounding offkey while singing christmas songs I love at the top of my lungs; the inevitable adult tantrum over some thing that didn't go their way at the holidays; grinchy people in stores - it's the holidays, be festive, dammit!; parking at any shopping destination; people who live in snow-prone areas and still freak out at the first flurry; the lack of bread/milk/eggs on the shelves when snow is in the forecast.

    Also, on the kids...I get what you're saying. I love being with my kids, but prefer to run errands alone, and it's just not always possible. But if I have to choose between letting my kid help me in the checkout line or him throwing a tantrum of epic proportions, I'm going to let him help. I don't really have the patience for it, either. But I promise you'd rather have him waste a couple minutes of your time than have to listen to the wailing and watch me drag him out by deathgrip on his wrist. (Yes, I have done that. No, I'm not ashamed.)

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  10. Clearly I can't agree with all of these. I love aviator sunglasses (and all sunglasses in general). GIF's make me laugh - most of the time. Some of them are SUPER annoying. And Sara Smile - I don't hear it often, but I've absolutely karaoked (not a word, but I'm using it) before and I kind of like it. Today - I hate idiot drivers that almost side swipe people, shitty tasting water at our office (need filtration system ASAP) and my computer that sometimes sounds like a rocket ship taking off. But it's almost Friday and I have 5 days off. I definitely don't hate that.

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  11. I hate wearing a winter coat and being out and about and getting around town in the much and snow, ice, and slush this time of year. I'm already sick of it. I also hate how seemingly all other drivers are total assholes, running red lights, cutting out in front of other people, and the like.

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  12. I think it's wonderful that parents let their kids "help." Just don't do it when there are other people in the grocery store, okay?

    And I'm laughing at the kid who is now in trouble for stealing a broom. Ha!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I hate when people go to the self checkout but really have no clue how it works/its purpose. A couple years ago after a long day of moving, we went to Walmart to pick up some shower curtains or something similar and we bolted to the self checkout (because we're pros and understand how to get in and get out) but we got trapped behind a lady buying 30 cans of cat food. She had to swipe every freaking can and with every one she had an issue finding the barcode! What a bitch.

    I think cars with TVs should be illegal. They are way too distracting at night. If I had one I'd be scared that somebody would slam into my ass on the highway.

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  14. can NOT believe those kids in your neighborhood. that is just plain crazy!
    tv in the car, can we not?! i agree with all of ths but i do like gifs. don't hate me.

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  15. You eat mashed potatoes with a spoon? Hmmm, weird. Maybe it's me - I think I only use spoons for ice cream and soup. And gumbo. Aviators are universally flattering so we will have to agree to disagree there. Santa is supposed to bring me some so maybe I will look so fabulous, I'll change your mind (but I won't hold my breath there). And LOL about the broom evidence! Don't you need it? Will you ever get it back?

    Hmmm things that make me Grinchy include twitter accounts that are basically all ads all the time, jerks in traffic, stores with bad customer service during the holidays, and the fact that location services being on on my phone makes my phone die in half a second.

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  16. Love reading everyone's lists. I abhor when the whole effing family goes to the grocery store. Leave someone home with the kids. Honda/michael Boulton commercial! #ENOUGH. Running low on anything. People who do not use turn signals aka Men. Or turn them on as they are turning, really??? Love the movie Major League!
    Have a happy day. Tis the season to be jolly. fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra1

    love your MOMMA

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  17. I would have loved to see the looks of disappointment when opening the Amazon box to find a pet hair broom... priceless!

    ReplyDelete
  18. So many of these!!! But I will never give up my aviators, never! ;)

    Things I'm currently Grinching over...wet, slushy snow, people who never write any blog content they just have sponsors and giveaways, nobody in this town apparently sells coconut milk eggnog, too many people wanting us to buy things to contribute to work Christmas parties, church Christmas parties, friend Christmas parties...so much money!!!!

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  19. But really...are we the same person? This list is so true.

    I get legit angry when I see someone driving and you can tell all the did was turn on their wipers to clear off the windshield, but there is still a crap ton of snow on the rest of their car. Especially when the rest of the snow flies off and into your very cleaned window. SO ANGRY.

    And damn that is a good scene in Major League.

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  20. I truly think you might be my soul sister. Every time I read one of your posts I fall more and more in girl love with you. "Clicking on a pin on pinterest only to have it lead to nowhere" A-FUCKING-men!

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  21. I don't like people who complain a lot.

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  22. Ok... yes. Apple... who designed that short cord? For the price I pay it should be 20 feet. Just sayin.

    I personally like chillaxin'... It's fun. AVIATOR GLASSE. I thought I was the only one.

    I eat my mashed pots with a fork. All the time. Rice.. can't do that. I have before. Because I was too lazy to get a spoon... And about the Punk. Coal. And a record. THat's what he gets. FOR A PET BROOM. What was he going to do with that?!?!?!

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  23. Seriously why does the iPhone cord have to be so short. But worse right now is the fact that my charger just stopped working all of a sudden so now I need to go buy a new one!!!

    People who don't take snow off their cards suck.

    I hate watching Dirty Dancing on regular tv b/c there are so many good parts cut out.

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  24. But why is the iPhone cord so short?! It should at least come with the extender thing like the Macbooks do!!!

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  25. Yes, why is that dang iPhone cord so freaking short??? I never thought of that until today! And sorry, but I LOVE my aviator sunglasses...they are my faves...don't hate!! :)

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  26. I hate people in the checkout line that wait until the last second to decide how to pay...bags in cart now open purse and then wallet then credit card...you know what you are paying with when you shop. Have it ready

    People who honestly tell you how there feeling when you are being polite with a "Hey how have you been? It is good to see you."

    Open cabinets and doors.

    Half shirts

    Smelly people
    People at the gym who are not really there to workout but look like it.

    I hate that there are so many more little things that I hate.

    For now that is it.

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  27. I hate people in the checkout line that wait until the last second to decide how to pay...bags in cart now open purse and then wallet then credit card...you know what you are paying with when you shop. Have it ready

    People who honestly tell you how there feeling when you are being polite with a "Hey how have you been? It is good to see you."

    Open cabinets and doors.

    Half shirts

    Smelly people
    People at the gym who are not really there to workout but look like it.

    I hate that there are so many more little things that I hate.

    For now that is it.

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  28. Snow on cars CLEAN IT OFF it is the law!!! Need to have a book. Really do not like the not a real word "Chillaxin" want to smack someone every time it is used. You will never hear it uttered from my mouth. PINS that go no where whyyyyyy???

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  29. I love aviator sunglasses when I'm drunk and watching my friend's band play. In a ploy to make them realize how f-ing bright and stupid their occasional spot lights on the crowd are. I realize this makes me a douche, but I'm comfortable with it.
    I can't comment on everything else, because I'll get too mad. But I will say, when I see some parent pulling that grocery line shit, I ask them if I can go in front of them. Either they let me go, or they stop with the kid crap. Winning for me either way.

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  30. I hate charades. I refuse to play. I like eating my mashed potatoes with a fork haha :-) There's so many things I hate lol

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  31. hahaha yes so many of these!!! I always get mad when I have to sit in a weird spot to use my phone because its charging and the chord doesn't reach. and GIFs are so annoying. I also hate slow drivers and rude people. And mustard. I really hate mustard haha

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  32. I'm glad those kids were caught! More often than not that kind of thing isn't solved. Way to look out, neighbors! The cops just found 6 bags of mail in the woods near my house. Nothing was ours because we have a locked box, but still. It pisses me off. There were tons of Christmas cards and packages. Why didn't the thieves keep it?

    I totally agree with paper clutter (which I'm currently looking at right this minute), charades (so boring!), Sara Smile and chillax. I hate aviators on me, but like them in general. Do you eat mashed potatoes and rice with a spoon? So does Nolan. Haha!

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  33. I read somewhere that the reason the iPhone charger is so short is because you're not supposed to use it while it's charging. Apparently it's bad for the battery. Then again, this might be just an excuse Apple made up to explain it ;)

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  34. Why yes, I have spent the majority of my afternoon reading your blog :)

    I love this! I did a similar, much shorter list (Things That Make Me Go Ugh). It was totally impromptu and brought on randomly because I walked into a public restroom and had to listen to someone having a full on conversation while i was trying to do my business. Not cool, people talking on their cell phones in public restrooms that is :)

    Cheers,
    Shannon
    www.brasshoney.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  35. I think I live with the King of Paper Clutter too. It's awful.
    I love your punk-shaming though.

    ReplyDelete

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