Thursday, October 3, 2013

Thursday Thoughts: 10 Things I Hate About You - I mean me.

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We are all primed to accentuate the positive. I play by those rules. However I am also a firm believer that there is freedom in acknowledging things about ourselves that are not quite so likable or good. The sun does not shine out of our asses 24 hours a day. We all do shitty or disappointing things. We're all vulnerable in places we wish we weren't. Saying those things out loud can be liberating.

10 things that piss me off about myself:

1. When I know I'm acting like a bratty asshole child and stubbornly keep at it instead of stopping. 

2. When I get pissed off or have my feelings hurt from an interaction with someone I know not to have high expectations of, or any expectations of at all.

3. When I leave my reusable grocery bags in the house instead of in my car.

4. When my OCD kicks in and I have to go back downstairs to check and make sure the door is locked. It always is, freako. It always is.

5. When I forget I'm 36 and drink like I'm 19 and have to deal with the consequences of a two day hangover.

6.  When I don't go to the bathroom right before bed, get all comfortable and read my book, and as soon as I turn the light out feel the slightest I may have to pee feeling so I end up getting up and going. I should've just gone before I got into bed.

7. When I get irrationally, insanely angry over the same shit. MFD runs on MFD time, which means always late. I literally lose my shit over it every time we're going somewhere, shooting to the top of a towering inferno of rage every.single.time.

8. Crying or throwing up when I'm around other people. There are times when I want to be alone, and those are two of them.

9. When I create obstacles for myself or allow my vision for something to become cluttered with bullshit.

10. When I'm too lazy to take my dogs for a walk.

What do you hate that you do?

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  1. #4!!!!!! i'm the SAME way. i lie in bed thinking: "is the door locked? if not, someone could come in and take kayla. no, the door is locked. is it? IS IT?! no, i'm pretty sure it is. who was the last one to come through the door? oh, it was M!" then i roll over and make him go downstairs and check the door LOL!

    i'm also the same way about the stove. many times we've already left the house and i've turned around to go back home and check it. arrrrggghhh!

    Vodka and Soda

  2. I do #3 all the time and it pisses me off to no end!!

  3. The grocery bag thing - I also leave the bags in the car and don't even think about it until I'm checking out. Pisses me off!

    And you know I'm with you on #8. Ugh.

  4. I hate when I know that the comment I'm about to make is going to pick a fight, yet I say it anyway.

    I am so on board with number 8. I prefer to cry and vomit all alone, thank you very much. Thankfully John knows this and doesn't push it when I am sick or crying. He also knows that if I am crying during a movie or TV show, that he should not acknowledge it and pretend that it did not happen.

    Like you need to get over MFD being late, I need to get over John leaving his dish in the sink or his pajamas on the bed. It makes me irrationally angry, and after 5 years of being together, it doesn't look like it is going to change much, so I need to let it go. So much easier said than done.

  5. I am the same way with #2, I never learn. Being late is one of my pet peeves so I totally get that one.

  6. when I'm full but I keep eating. and eating.

    when I don't vacuum and it's NECESSARY to vacuum.

    when I don't speak my mind or stand up for myself.

    when I', STILL eating and actually sick to my stomach.

    when I'm too lazy to get stuff done.

    when I think about whether or not a shower is absolutely necessary. If I'm debating, it must be necessary.

  7. Gosh I am the same! I am so OCD! Check the door, plugs, straightening iron, iron, and car locks takes up a ton of my time!

  8. You are you and I love you for it, but always good to be aware of the stuff one does that is counterproductive and hurts your cells.
    I am a way different soul today than I was at 36 and much happier and extremely content, most of all, very grateful for all of it. Best thing is if you live and learn and are able to chip away at the stuff that you dislike about yourself.
    More healing lights to you and reprogramming of your cells to perfection. Godspeed for an easy day and home to get more rest.
    love your MOMMA

  9. There are so many things I hate. I told my husband that the shorter list would be things that I like hahaha.

    I'm the same way. I always think and question myself, Did I lock the door? Is the oven off? Is my hair straightner unplugged?

  10. Number one, get outta my head.

    Also, when I know I should shut up because it would make my life easier but I keep talking anyway. There's a difference between having an opinion and digging yourself a hole.

  11. I also hate when I'm all cozy in bed and realize I forgot to brush my teeth. So hard to get comfy again! And definitely with you on wanting to be alone when sick or crying.

  12. Ugh, I hate when I run my mouth when I should shut up, which is always. Shut UP, mouth!

  13. Ha! I wrote about the EXACT opposite today. I do so much focusing on the negative that I needed a reminder to focus on the positive.

    I have a very lengthy list of things about myself that annoy me, most notably the fact that I am the reason I don't get shit done.

  14. Ohhh #5. I will never ever learn. I had to be up Sunday at 7 am and I stayed out drinking craft german beers until 3 am. Why Stephanie. Why.

  15. 1, 2, 4, 5, 6 I do frequently. Also, I always check that my straightener is unplugged before I leave my house at least 2 times. Sometimes, I get half way out of the neighborhood and go back and check again for good measure. I cant have the house burn down with my dogs in it! Duh!

  16. another post for the books. i hate how irrational i am about well, almost everything. and that i get mad at michael for no reason. i just can't help it.

  17. I can so relate to most of these.
    The worst thing i hate about myself is that I lay in bed and watch TV to deal with anxiety, rather than go to the gym.

  18. Legit having to pee after you get settled into bed is the WORST THING EVER. I get so mad at myself for drinking too much water and not going before bed.

  19. Oh man, the grocery bag one will just ruin my ENTIRE DAY. I have like ten and I still end up at the store without them 1/3 of the time.

  20. This post would have been just as great if it only the pic of Heath & Julia!

    I get so angry when I leave my reusable bags at home.
    I always recheck the doors are locked.
    #7 to a T

    I hope you are feeling better <3

  21. OK, are we the same person? I literally said "yup" to each one of these. I will add to the peeing before bed thing...when I get all cozy in bed and I have forgotten to put on socks, and I can't sleep because my feet are too cold.

  22. I think we can all relate to these! I hate that I'm letting my boss get to me these days, I hate when I pick at a zit, and I hate when I let food go to waste. Just to name a few!

  23. #2. UGH. I got schooled on this just this past weekend.


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