Thursday, October 31, 2013

Thursday Thoughts...your weekly dose of random on Halloween

1. Happy Halloween, mofos! I need to throw my costume together tonight. Nothing crazy this year.

2. I got soul but I'm not a soldier. I got soul but I'm not a soldier. I got soul but I'm not a soldier. I GOT SOUL BUT I'M NOT A SOLDIER.
All These Things That I've Done by The Killers on Grooveshark

3. I've spent the past week swimming in the James Patterson pool. It's nice to take a dip every once in a while but I'm ready to get out. Currently I'm almost halfway through The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion. What are you reading?
4. Happy birthday to my uncle, a Halloween baby with a penchant for telling scary stories he made up like The Chicken Heart that nearly made me wet my pants in fear throughout my childhood. Okay, thoughout now. I still can't hear The Chicken Heart without my blood chilling.
Happy birthday also to my Internet avoiding friend Jimmy.
5. You guys, I'm being really good with Sons of Anarchy. I am not stopping life and watching six shows a night (most days). I'm rationing episodes. This is a huge feat for a binge watcher like myself. I still have one episode left in season two.
6. I've been overhearing MFD watching Ancient Aliens and I'm more interested than I'm letting on. Especially after I caught a glimpse of this guy's hair. I mean...this almost makes it a must watch.
7. We can't control anything in life except our reaction to things. That's the bold, plain truth. Read  Kathy's Happiness post at Vodka and Soda. We sing in the same choir so to speak. 

8. I'm sick of pushy male commuters. I'm not saying you have to let women go ahead of you to board the train, but I am saying you are not allowed to push anyone out of the way to get on, male or female. And when you push a woman, well you're an asshole bully tittybaby, aren't you? It is annoying to have to push back or tell adult males to stop pushing. I'm claustrophobic and afraid of jail otherwise I'd cut a bitch. Can you tell?
9. I'm girding my loins to be plunged into darkness at 5 p.m. since we turn back the clocks this weekend. Bring on the increased dosage of Vitamin D supplements. I'm also steeling myself for the havoc winter wreaks on my skin. My weapons: Ahava mineral body lotion, Palmer's Cocoa Butter, Vitamin E body butter from The Body Shop (I wait for their killer sale and look out for Groupons to save cash), and J&J baby oil gel. What are your go to lotions when you need to bring out the big guns?
10. E-card of the week:
Trick or treat, mofos. Go get some candy. Save the Reese's peanut butter pumpkins for me. 
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Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Someday I will...

  • Be the person who gets up a half hour earlier than they need to just because. Not today because my alarm never went off, but someday
  • Start writing a novel instead of saying I need to find the time
  • Finish an entire tube of lip balm instead of throwing it out near the end
  • Grow vegetables
  • Own a house down the shore
  • Store my clothes in a walk-in closet
  • Get a mud bath treatment at the spa
  • Attempt to spend two weeks as a vegetarian
  • Eat lobster in Maine
  • Learn how to use a drill
  • Buy a king size bed
  • Make a pie crust from scratch instead of being a lazy ahole and buying one
  • See Niagara Falls from the Canadian side
  • Redo the floors in our house
  • Take an elevator to the top of City Hall 
  • Map out and complete a Philadelphia Cheesesteak Tour (please send me your Must Rate locations)
  • Stand at the bottom of the Grand Canyon
  • Exercise more without it being a fight
  • Actually pick a fruit I mean to pick when it's in season - strawberries, apples, whatever. 
  • Get MFD to agree to my idea of what to do with the shitty backyard landscaping. Any of my ideas. Just one will do.
Some of these things will obviously happen before others, I mean I work one block from City Hall and have for five years, I could be up at the top tomorrow. Maine, the Grand Canyon, and Niagara obviously require a little more planning. 

Tell me. What are some of your somedays?

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Linking up with  Because Shanna Said So and The Daily Tay.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Meatloaf beatloaf meatloaf

Similar to when he said, "Daddy's gonna kill Ralphie," Randy was wrong about meatloaf. Meatloaf may be my number one favorite comfort food. I love it out of the oven and I love it cold.

My basic meatloaf recipe is very simple, but some Sundays call for the big mama meatloaf and that was this Sunday. When I want to be a fatty, I use the Pioneer Woman's meatloaf recipe as a guide. This leaves a lot of leftovers, so if you are not feeding a crowd or interested in leftovers, you should halve this recipe.
2 lb ground beef
6 slices white bread (I used whole grain white, you can use what you have)
1 cup milk (I used 1/4 cup fat free half & half and 3/4 cup 1%)
1/2 teaspoon seasoned salt
1/2 teaspoon regular salt
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
3/4 cup shredded cheese of your choice
1/4 heaping cup parmesan cheese
ground black pepper to your liking
1/2 cup minced flat leaf parsley
4 whole eggs, beaten
10 slices regular bacon (don't use thick cut)
1 cup ketchup
4 tablespoons brown sugar
1 teaspoon dry mustard
Sriracha (squirt or to your taste)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. 
Put your bread slices in a large mixing bowl and pour the milk over them. Allow to soak for a few minutes. I use this time to deal with the parsley and gather the rest of my ingredients. I also get out my broiler pan, line the bottom with foil, and spray the top with nonstick spray. I set this next to my mixing bowl. Using the broiler pan allows the fat to drip through.
When you're ready, add parsley, ground beef, cheese, spices, and lastly eggs to the mixing bowl. In a separate bowl, combine ketchup, brown sugar, dry mustard, and sriracha and mix well. Set aside. 
Wash your hands, dirty friend. You're mixing this meat mix beeotch by hand until well combined. Place it on the broiler pan and form into a loaf. 
Top it with bacon slices, tucking them under on the sides and overlapping them just a little.  Pour a third of the sauce over the top and spread it with a spoon. 
Bake for 45 minutes, then pour another 1/3 of the sauce over the top and spread. Bake for another 15 minutes. 
We serve our meatloaf with mashed potatoes, corn and green beans.

And now for Haikuesday:

Meatloaf sings to me.

Paradise by the dashboard...

Lighten up, it's meat.

Do you love monograms as much as I do? My friend has started a new business and I am the lucky recipient of a glass to test. Do you want one? Go like My Fab Glass on facebook and tell them Steph sent you. They will pick a winner on Friday at midnight and you'll have your own awesome monogrammed glass. 

Other than that...suck it, Tuesday.

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Linking up with Blissfully Miller and Let's Get Bananas for

Monday, October 28, 2013


I got nearly 20 hours of sleep this weekend. Sing the songs of angels, mofos. Exhale. 
1 - After an uneventful Friday night, I froze my ass off on Saturday at my nephew's fall ball game.
2 - Drew on base. 
3 - Next baller?
4 - A visit to Styers where no pumpkins were found...
5 - But lunch was eaten. MFD and I got sausage peppers and onions and meatballs and went halvesies.
6 - Errands: Target, Home Depot, Rite Aid.
7 - Chicken cordon bleu pasta. Make that, yo. Click on it to see my revisions. 
8 - She's my cherry pie. 
9 - I couldn't sleep Saturday night due to too much coffee, so I spent from 12 - 4 a.m. doing two loads of laundry, cleaning the powder room, and watching Sons.
10 - Coffee time Sunday.
11 - We like to lounge.
12 - We hate to mulch.
13 - Weekly food prep: savory oatmeal for breakfasts (pictured - I cook it in chicken broth and add a bit of olive oil and some cheese to the top), hard boiled eggs for snacks, PB&J for lunch, green beans for snack.
14 - A joyous romp with the dogs in the fields. 
15 - Fat ass Sunday dinner - check back here tomorrow for the details. 

Toodleoo, weekend. Thank you for being a friend. 

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Friday, October 25, 2013

The Friday Five, High / Low Style

It's Friday: praise the tiny lounge attire wearing, sleeping in planning, binge television watching, Workin' for the Weekend singing, lazy days loving baby Jesus. Let's Shake - n- Bake.

Today's Friday Five is about maintenance - ways in which I'm high maintenance and ways in which I'm low maintenance. Thanks to Laura for her help flushing out these lists.

Ways in which I am High Maintenance:
1. I must have a lot of ice in my drinks.
2. If I am getting coffee out and it has a lid, it must also have a straw or I will throw a shit fit that is way out of proportion to the actual situation. There are times when insanity shines through my face like a bright ray of sunshine. This is one of those times. After being burned too many times in DD drive thrus, I've started carrying straws in my middle console.
3. My house must be cleaned top to bottom weekly, some areas (vacuuming, bathroom and kitchen wipe down) multiple times per week. I blame those dogs. Their hair is in cahoots to create chaos all over the house.
4. I want an immediate response to my emails and texts. I know you're looking at your phone.
5. Only one person cuts and colors my hair, and that person is not me. It's Kristi Morgan at Sensational Scissors.

Ways in which I am Mid-Maintenance:
1. I am not well if my nails aren't painted but I do do them at home.

Ways in which I am Low Maintenance:
1. I will run errands in yoga pants. Don't care.
2. Hotel rooms - I'm only sleeping there, so I refuse to pay a lot for a room in a luxe hotel. Mid-range suits my needs quite well.
3. I am not a demanding or needy friend.
4. I am not into fancy dancer cars. As long as it goes, it's good with me.
5. I don't blow dry my hair and I don't wear makeup daily. It takes me less than 30 minutes to shower and get out the door even if I am wearing makeup.

And you? What are your highs and lows?

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Linking up with
Prototype Mama

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Thursday Thoughts on Dealing with Shit

You know those times in life when it's like dog pile on the rabbit? Big things and little things have you spinning like a top and you'd just like the ride to stop. The past two weeks haven't been the best and many of my framily members are going through tough times too. Is it a moon cycle? It has to be.

It brings up something I find intensely interesting: how people deal with shit. Our response to conflict is an intrinsic part of what makes us tick.

Being an adult is hard. As adults, we need to endure disappointments, navigate our children as they grow up in a different world than we grew up in, figure things out, forgive people, ask for forgiveness, do things we don't want to do, take responsibility, get through a divorce, perform well at work, give up things that are bad for us, maintain houses and cars, battle insurance companies, deal with accidents, support loved ones going through shit without being fixers, make hard decisions, keep an eye on our aging bodies, find ways to get over things, cope with illness and death, pay bills, and a host of other very adult tasks that no one wants to do. It's just life, and sometimes due to circumstance it can feel like a lot at once. And you can't tag out when it gets to be too much.
While I prefer spending most of my time excelling at domesticity and painting my nails, life requires us to deal with curve balls. If you can't hit a curve, you lose the game of life. Some people refuse to deal, which astounds me. Ignoring bad shit does not make it go away. Here's my Deal With It pattern:
Day One: A layover in in Fuck Town USA, constantly fretting, nauseous, and on the verge of tears because I'm so frustrated and I feel powerless over the situation. As a rule, I am not a wallower. It's totally foreign to me. Usually I can get shit under control in 12 hours or less unless I've really been thrown for a loop. Edited to add I also have my 30 second bursts of white hot rage that start today and last two or three days. You do not want to be in my path during those bursts.

Day Two: I've moved into Defiantville. I've accepted that this is a hard time. I will get through it, no matter what it is at the moment, because there is no alternative. I'm Stephanie, motherfuckers. I emerge victorious even if I've lost some blood on the battlefield.

Day Three until Shit Gets Better: In Just Keep Going mode. I face shit head on and I'm kind to myself on the side, which includes giving myself permission to focus on other things.

Things I do when dealing with shit:
1. Walk more at lunch
2. Commune with my dogs
3. Eat things I should not be eating
5. Ruthlessly purge closets and clean like one of Miss Hannigan's orphans
5. Perform a sage smudge ceremony to rid my house and its occupants of negative energy
6. Any other activity that can be filed under Soothing Busy Work / Carrying On
7. Actually finish dealing with it - I hate loose ends and unresolved issues.

Things I don't do when dealing with shit:
1. Board the Booze Train - alcohol magnifies emotions and who wants to deal with hangovers in addition to whatever else is going on?
2. Blab about my problems- I very much need to work through things on my own a lot of times.
3. Care about what other people think about what I'm going through (if they know) or the actions I'm taking to deal with it. No one is in my shoes and anyone who thinks they know better can go screw.
4. Post vaguely EMO things on Facebook, instagram, etc. about life sucking. Sometimes sharing is not caring. 
5. Focus only on the shitty things because while shitty things are happening, so is life. You can go through a hard time and still smile at someone, laugh at something, and go about your normal business. For me to function well as me, I need to process and get through anger, hurt, disappointment, etc. quickly. I want to divest myself of the negative emotions and move forward as soon as possible. I don't carry shit around with me and allow it to weigh me down.
Depending on the severity of the situation, at some point I will nearly (nearly being the key word) have a nervous breakdown and may even engage in some whining. But I put a lid on both toot sweet because breakdowns are really unattractive and whining is grating and not constructive.

In times of trouble, the most crucial thing I do is find the silver lining. I will gain something solid from this. Good things always come out of bad things. Even though hard times suck, they are excellent for building character. If that isn't putting a shine on a pimple, I don't know what is.
How do you deal when life takes a shit on your head?
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Wednesday, October 23, 2013

36 Life Realizations from my 36 Years, Part II

Did you miss Part 1 last week?

1. Life is not fair. Get over it.

2. Everyone has a past. It's not a factor unless you allow it to be.

3. Guilt is a self-indulgent, useless emotion. Your time and energy would be better spent getting your head out of your ass and preparing to be a better person for the next time.

4. What other people think about you is none of your business.

5. Some people are not worth fighting for or with.

6. Time heals.

7. Excuses are for assholes. Don't make them.

8. If you see something you love at Marshalls/Homegoods, you need to buy it. Marshalls Law declares that it will not be there when you go back. 

9. Forgiveness benefits you, not them. Holding on to hate and hurt is not the way to live.

10. If you can't laugh at yourself, chances are people do not enjoy hanging out with you.

11. Anyone who judges people on how much or how little they drink is a tool.

12. No one is invincible.

13. Marriage is work and it can be hard. The issues you have before you get married are the issues you'll have after. Be prepared for something other than wine and roses.

14. Your ability to sleep deep and long is compromised as you get older. Enjoy it while it's still good.

15. Take pictures with real cameras, you'll be so glad you have those memories to look at when you get older.

16. There is an art to learning from your mistakes. Everything you do, right or wrong, shapes you. Work with the clay.

17. You are not entitled to anything you don't work for - the world doesn't owe you a thing.

18. The most important thing in your life is not your job, what you own, or what you earn - it's who you have sitting in your circle.

What did I miss?

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Linking up with
Because Shanna Said So - Random Wednesday

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Oops I did it again banana chocolate chip muffins

Saturday morning I was faced with four spotty bananas. I couldn't find my banana bread recipe, so I called on The Dalai Momma because she is The Baking Queen. I secured her new recipe and decided to make muffins instead of bread because I do what I want.

Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins:

1/2 cup butter- melted
1 cup sugar
4 smashed medium bananas
1 tsp vanilla
2 eggs at room temp
1.5 cups flour
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp cinnamon 
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1 tbs mayo
Mini chocolate chips (optional)
Brown sugar mixed with cinnamon for topping (optional)

Preheat oven to 350. Line muffin tins with liners - I got 23 muffins out of this recipe.

Melt the butter in the microwave. Add bananas and smoosh them with a fork. Add vanilla and two eggs. Mix well with a fork. Add dry ingredients, mix with fork until just mixed. Add mayo and mix well.

I added about 1/3 cup mini chocolate chips and stirred again. Fill muffin tins 3/4 full. Top with a dab of brown sugar cinnamon mixture.

Bake for 20 minutes or until an inserted toothpick comes up clean. Viola. You now have
And now for Haikuesday:

Britney Spears hates you.
"You" being Tuesday, of course.
She likes bananas. 

Come back and see me tomorrow for the second group of 18 of 36 Life Realizations.

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Linking up with Blissfully Miller and Let's Get Bananas for

Monday, October 21, 2013


Last week was a total douche. Everything that could go wrong did, shit was stressful, people were assholes, and I had insomnia and anxiety by Thursday night. I was certainly ready for a weekend. It was a good mix of social and productive; and I used Sunday's solitude to get my shit together for the upcoming week.
Friday MFD & I walked los perros then headed back downtown to have cocktails with Chris & Diana at Tir Na Nog. We met the Sannellis and Leslies at Maggiano's for a fabulous family-style meal. I love my framily. I also love being a tourist in my own town. I do not love being out for the evening with a dead camera battery.
1- Banana chocolate chip muffins. Check back tomorrow for the recipe, son.
2 - Stuffed cabbage casserole. This was easy and delicious comfort food. 
Coach Bingo. No winning, but a fun night nonetheless. And I got to wear my newest scarf even though this is not a flattering photo of it or me. 
You know what's a bastard chore? Winterizing flower beds. I spent almost two hours on it, and it's still not done. I was two bags of mulch short as you can see. I also ran out of yard bags so I still need to pull my potted flowers too. Still, a good dent. And my yellow door still makes me happy every single time I pull up to my house.

Then, it happened. I started. A new obsession has been born. Those Sons are bad MFers! Charlie Hunnam, call me. 
Laundry, serenity, iced tea, Sunday Soup, fresh bread, and Sunday dinner happened too. But nothing in life is as important as Sons of Anarchy. Ok? 
1 - This week's breakfast is egg salad, made while watching SoA.
2 - I love roasting a chicken for Sunday dinner. I feel Ina Garten-ish.
3 - Cauliflower mashed - so easy and good. I just add 2 oz of light cream cheese, a tablespoon of butter, garlic powder, onion powder, salt and pepper to taste. 
5 - Gus and Maisel (Maisel is the black speck).
6 - Cauliflower sweet potato soup for this week's lunches. Not bad, not my favorite. 
7 - Geege and Maisel.

I closed the kitchen for the night when this happened. Three scavenger dogs were attempting to infiltrate the scene while I screamed like a banshee for them to get away. 
What about you?

Check out my guest post on Not Entirely Perfect today!
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