Tuesday, July 30, 2013

The Predictable MFD


Last Tuesday I shared some things MFD finds predictable about me. I said I would return the favor, but this was harder than I thought! To most people who know him, MFD is predictable in that he is unpredictable. You never know what he's going to do or say. Life with him is an adventure. At home, he's a little more predictable, but not much.
  • At restaurants, he will hem and haw over what to order and four out of five times will regret his decision when everyone's food arrives. 
  • He falls asleep with the TV on every night. 
  • He will say the word turd every single day. Multiple times a day. Usually in combination with another word. Like butt. Turdbutt. Or nerd. Nerdturd. 
  • When I ask what he wants or needs from the store, he will say one or more of the following: Ellios, Oreos, Kraft Mac & cheese, cranberry grape juice, milk, Life cereal, watermelon, razors
  • He always takes at least 40 minutes to get ready but thinks he can get showered and out the door in 15. 
  • If Star Wars or the Matrix is on, he's watching it. 
  • He will get a ticket from the Philadelphia Parking Authority at least once a month, which will be followed by me totally losing my shit.
  • He will want to hoard everything and never throw anything out.  
  • He is a wanderer. At large gatherings, on outings, everywhere. He will always wander off, and according to his parents, he's always been a wanderer from the time he was a little tow headed boy on the beach. People always ask, "Where's Doyle?" and think I should know because I'm his wife. I frequently have no idea. He'll turn up eventually, usually with a story of what he saw or did. Wait for it. 
  • He will always be a night owl. 
  • He will always want to be out later than I want to be out. 
  • He will want to do deep cleaning 20 minutes before guests arrive for a party. 
  • He will go to Wawa to get an ice cream cone at 8 p.m. or later at least once a week. 
  • He is king of the iron. He even irons undershirts. After all these years he is still horrified that I don't iron at all.
  • He will know somewhere every where we go. He's like the Mayor. 
  • He is not a cook who cleans as he goes. 
  • He rarely knows the words to songs, but he always knows the tune. 
  • He is a constant whistler.
  • He will always ask me where something is before he looks for it (said every woman about every man, ever). 
How is your partner predictable to you?

p.s. Suck it, Tuesday.

17 comments:

  1. Isaiah does the same thing while getting ready. He's just a terrible judge of time in general. "I'll be done in 10 minutes" means I need to plan on at least 30 minutes. Sometimes longer, and it's ten times worse if he's doing something with his brother, who is an even worse judge of time.

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  2. Giggle. Love this one. MFD and I share a love for Ellios. I could live off that shit. What is it with Star Wars and The Matrix?!?!? Were there ladies handing out BJs at the movie theater to ensure every man on the planet stops what they are doing for Annikan and Neo? I freaking hate those movies and have never seen any of them in its entirety. I usually just start asking a ton of annoying questions when Steve has them on... "So Luke and Annikan are brothers?" "What IS The Matrix?" "Dearth Vader is whose father??"

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  3. He is NOT your typical Virgo!

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  4. oh, this is so awesome.

    my husband is also the king of the iron. he irons EVERYTHING, even his underwear.

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  5. Love this. My husband will always watch Rambo... always.

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  6. Love this. All true. All endearing.
    Just read this book by Mary Pipher- a psychotherapist- non-fiction, of course. Great book. Anyway, she is a writer, too and says storytelling is a great thing and enhances your life and everyone else's. Love your storytelling every.single.blog.
    The book is called "Letters to a Young Therapist." Good for all to read about our lives.
    Mike Doyle will help anyone in need! A wonderful trait. Carpe diem this absolutely gorgeous, perfect day. Love Your MOMMA

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  7. He must have a crazy rising sign... like Gemini, Sag, Libra, maybe even Aries.

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  8. OMG I love this. First, can he please teach my husband to iron? Love the wandering, I bet he has lots of great stories. I don't know what Ellios are - is that a regional thing? And AMEN to the last point!

    Let's see, my husband is predictable in that he has to watch The Shawshank Redemption every time it's on (which is a lot) and by the time Thursday rolls around, he never wants what we have planned to have for dinner.

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  9. Okay, our men could be BFFS...Ross is a Stars Wars addicted! Watched two of the movies this weekend. :) He is a major pack rat (hoarder) and is the messiest cook on the face of the planet!! This cracked me up reading!!

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  10. This is so good. Aaron is also a wanderER.

    Aaron will claim he's ready to go and that he's waiting for me but then when I'm ready, he undoubtedly has to put on his shoes or something else that indicates that NO, he was not ready.

    He also, without fail, decides that as I'm walking out the door for work (admittedly late) is a good time to talk about some important item. Really? We couldn't have done this last night, or even an hour ago?

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  11. John doesn't iron shit. His shirts will sit for months until I iron them, which I hate. Thank god for the steamer so I can do my own stuff quickly.

    Does the whistling drive you crazy? There is a guy who works on my floor who whistles all the time and I want to scream at him to shut the fuck up.

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  12. i think the word turd is wildly underutilized.

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  13. Haha! I don't iron either, don't feel bad. I don't even own an iron. If it says iron or dry clean or anything of the sort, I won't buy it.
    My dad knows people everywhere too. It's ridic.

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  14. I always have plate envy too! Impressed about the ironing- I can't remember the last time I ironed.

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  15. I love everything MFD. I also love Loopy's comments which tend to wander lol. Great blog.

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  16. This is going to come out wrong... he sounds like a female.... the taking long to get ready... the IRONING!! (seriously!!)... you have a winner there!

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