Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Wednesday Wishes

This week's wishes coming in hot.

I wish I knew why lazy susans in cabinets make me a little panicky. I don't even have a lazy susan. I was talking to Laura about organizing hers and felt a little claustrophobic. Is that the weirdest shit or what?

I wish I was going on a Disney cruise every year.

I wish I didn't have "You're the best! Around! Nothing's gonna ever keep you down!" in my head. Make it stop, Daniel-san.

I wish I could bring my dogs to work with me.

I wish everyone worked in Center City and took regional rail for a week so you could see the sights. It's stellar people watching and eavesdropping in these parts.

I wish I learned not to watch The Following when I'm home alone at night.

I wish I owned a shore house.

I wish we didn't have to worry about GMO and other Monsanto bullshit in foods/the soil/the air/the world, and that buying local and organic was as cheap as buying processed genetically modified food. I'm afraid we're all going to turn into zombies. I don't like zombies. They eat brains.
I wish I didn't have somewhere to be every night this week after work, even though I want to be at those places. Does that make sense?

I wish I just received a phone call telling me I won the Publisher's Clearinghouse. Is that still a thing? If not, they found an old check they never told me about and called me up. Or came to the door. Whatever it is they do to present me with an enormous check.

I wish all of my bills were paid off.

I wish movies cost $4.00 during the evenings like they did back in my day. I saw Harry & The Hendersons in the little two screen theater in the Bucks County Mall with Jen Dawson in 1987, people. We did cartwheels in the aisles because 11 and 12 year old bitches be crazy.
I wish you were all reading the Thug Kitchen blog.

I wish I lived within walking distance of the library and Wawa. Well, I do live withing walking distance to Wawa, but I mean like one block.

I wish I lived on the same street as all of my people so it would be a perpetual block party and we could all help each other always. It takes a village. And no assholes are allowed in the village, which is okay because...

I wish Asshole Island was a real place that exists, where all the asshole ruiners in our lives are sent to live and be assy amongst themselves.

I wish I could eat whatever I wanted and still be healthy.

I wish my iPhone battery never died.

I wish I had an endless supply of roasted red pepper hummus, jojoba oil, coffee ice cream, ripe strawberries, Gain laundry detergent, B&BW Eucalyptus Mint shower gel, MAC lipstick and glass, pedicure gift cards, super dark black sunglasses, DD iced coffee, Essie nail polish, Pureology shampoo and conditioner, Sanuk yoga mat flip flops, and yoga pants.

I wish people didn't say they've lost their faith in humanity and society after the Boston Marathon incident...because that means they missed the people running INTO the blasts to help other people they didn't even know. They missed the coming together of a community and a nation. They missed that in the face of evil, people will react immediately with GOOD. We're ALL a piece of humanity - the evil people don't get to control it. The helpers do. Look for the helpers.

And of course, I wish today was Friday. Pipe dreams, y'all. Pipe dreams.


  1. I love so many things on your endless supply list. Supremely Spicy hummus is hands down the best ever. Roasted red pepper is a close second.

    Yes to the Gain...I buy mine at Sam's Club and they raised the price recently. I felt so betrayed. Even though it lasts approximately 472 years in my house, I still can't get over the fact that I am paying $20 for laundry soap.

    I feel the same about Pureology. Amazing by holy shit expensive. And my dog ate a pair of Sanuks this week. Not cool, dog. Not cool at all.

  2. Aw, I love todays's post! I, too, wish I lived on the same block as my people! S much! And you know how I feel about Asshole Island...

  3. I am reading Thug Kitchen right now, and laughing so Lou's, I might get fired.

  4. love this on so many levels and agree. especially the one about Boston. so true. Also movies, what is the deal?! and instead of bringing my dog to work, can I just work from home? please.

  5. Mostly, I agree with the eat whatever I want and the win a big check items.

    And the shore house.

    And the perpetual block party of friends.

  6. Gain price increase at Sam's- ugh!
    I only want 1 house. The shore w/ everyone close on the beach, but with a pool,too. AND never any weather catastrophes. Will be reading that thug blog. Having my high school girlfriends for dinner tomorrow night. Known them since Jr High- we will all be 57 this year! Each of our lives are different!
    Independently wealthy & totally healthy no matter what you ate/did
    would be the BOMB!
    Love your MOMMA

  7. OH I have a lot of these wishes too!!! Especially today being Friday, bringing the dogs to work, AND publishers clearing house knocking on our door.

  8. I love Thug Kitchen. And I want Asshole Island to exist SO badly.

    Really, I agree with so many of your wish list items! I need to try the Sanuk yoga mat flip flops.

  9. OOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGGGGGG! You did it again! I SWEAR my hubs showed me the Thug Kitchen blog last night, and I was going to throw it into my random-as-hell post today! Swear! GET OUT OF MY BRAIN!!! :)))

  10. Thank you for Thug Kitchen! LOVE!!
    So many great things listed that I love, too. I knew this guy once that was such an asshat that I nicknamed him the AssMan.
    Happy Wednesday,
    Lulu and Daisy

  11. We have a lot of the same wishes... but I wish you didn't get me stuck on Friday Night Lights... I CAN'T GO TO SLEEP!! I still have more episodes!!

  12. lots of good wishes! our movie theater is still only $4.50 at all times. It's really nice!

    have a great day :)

  13. i wish for all of these things too! and thanks for the Thug Kitchen!!!

  14. 11 and 12 year old bitches be crazy. Hahaha! True. I wish movies were cheaper too. Jacob and I do a lot of Sunday morning movies because they're $6. Plus, popcorn for breakfast.

  15. I too wish you had a shore house so I could come hang out with you!

    And I wish I could grant you some of these wishes. But I also wish that we had DD on our coast. Horseshit.

  16. I wish Asshole Island was real too. And I wish Hawkeye could come to work with me every day. (But a little part of her might get relegated to asshole island, I'm concerned.)

  17. I love Karate Kid. Also, I wish most of those things too. I have a few people to send to asshole island.

  18. You can have my shore home. I'll move back to the city.

  19. I wish so many of these too! I want a beach house, a Disney cruise, and Asshole Island. (there is a few I'd like to send...)

    I have one lazy susan cabinet, and I love it. It's a corner cabinet and it makes my life so much easier! I don't know what I would do with out it. (Probably just forget about half my baking supplies...)

  20. Where do you come up with this stuff!? Your head my hurt every day when you go to bed! LOL! And girl, we are not all gonna turn into Zombies. People need to chill! It's gonna be okay. And amen to the last part...I still believe 100% in humanity...good people are out there...everywhere!!

  21. I like this I wish wednesday we should make it a thing!


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