Wednesday, December 5, 2012

A middle finger salute to mid-season finales and other TV talk

What the hell is going on in TV land? When I was a girl, I walked five miles uphill both ways to school, and also there was no such thing as a mid-season or winter finale. Why do shows need breaks? Viewers do not like breaks. Take me for example, I'm having a hissy fit about them. Did no one learn from LOST? While we're on this topic, are seasons shorter too?

Let's be mindless today and talk about TV, and you can judge me for my trashy shows. You know you want to.

Winter finale victim
I love this show and sort of want to be Emily Thorn. I would definitely like to have her cash.
Love: Nolan Ross is killing it this season. Aiden. Victoria's mother's visit.
Hate: The Ryan Brothers trying to take down the Porters - lame storyline. The prospect of Emily and Daniel together again. Madeline Stowe's lips when she smiles. Ashley (sayonara, shitface!). The dead white haired man.

A good friend to have.
Winter finale victim
Love: The music, especially from Scarlett & Gunnar. Connie Britton as Rayna James. Deacon Claybourne.
Hate: Avery, Scarlett's whiny bitch loser boyfriend. Dump him, girl. And Teddy. Leave him, Rayna. Let him flounder on his own.

Whiny bitch.
The Good Wife
Love: Stockard Channing as Alicia's mom. That Alicia and her husband did it. Zach as the electronic wunderkind.
Hate: Kalinda's husband as a smarmy douche. The fact that Kalinda is soft about the smarmy douche husband. The fact that Kalinda is totally uninteresting due to this shitty storyline.

Rizzo gives Mr. Big the business. 
Duck Dynasty
The best show on TV.
Love: Everything.
Hate: It's not on every day.

I want to be friends with you guys. Call me. 
I'd say someone please put this show out of its misery, but it's fun to text Gail and rip on it every week.
Love: Ripping on it.
Hate: Everything else. It's so terrible that I can't even post a photo of it. It's bad when you are watching a show and you wish most of the characters were dying in some epic shitshow way that episode.

Teen Mom 2
Love: Barbara didn't bail Jenelle out of jail. Chelsea's Dad got in Adam's face enough so that he stopped coming around. I haven't seen Monday night's episode yet.
Hate: Jenelle whines and cries about not being able to smoke pot on national television, and that smoking pot and Ke$ha are more important than her son or college. WTF! Even though her mom didn't bail her out in last week's episode, I want you to rest easy tonight: she WAS bailed out in time for the Ke$ha concert. I was not a huge Ke$ha fan to begin with, but now I hate her by association.

Chelsea thinks Adam is worthy of her time. Also, Chelsea's hideous extensions.
Leah: Your name is Leah. Your kids are Ali and Aleeah. Do you think Ali and Aleeah are very distinguishable? Should I go on?
Kailyn goes from one guy to the next and cannot be alone. That's a bad road to walk your whole life, girlfriend.
Corey's hat. I can't take it. I want to rip it off and stomp on it as the Glory banjos play in the background.
This hat makes you look even MORE "a duh" than you normally look. 
I love it again this season.
Love: Ted Danson and Elisabeth Shue have injected some life into this show. Jim Brass and Nick Stokes, always.
Hate: Greg isn't getting a lot of facetime, ever since he jumped the shark in last year's fantastical finale. Give him another chance. No Gil Grissom visit.

Just a short visit. Please?
Criminal Minds
The cases are getting more fantastical as the show progresses.
Love: Dr. Spencer Reid.The glimpse into Rossi's past in the homeless episode.
Hate: The weird language Penelope Garcia and Derek Morgan speak to each other. Jeanne Tripplehorn's  wooden delivery. JJ has basically been rendered useless.

Let this girl use her brain. 
Gossip Girl
Farewell season.
Love: Chuck Bass.
Hate: Rufus's hurt face. Dan. B being beaten down this season.

You are lame, Rufus. Falling for Ivy Dickens and her foolishness. 
This is one of the only RH shows I can still stomach. Sometimes I catch it when it's on, but I'm not a regular viewer. Regardless, I caught about 15 minutes of it last night. So it makes the list.
Love: Lisa. Lisa's love of pink. Kyle.
Hate: Taylor's lips. I am deathly afraid those botox'd beyond recognition things are going to jump through the TV and eat my face off. Brandi Glanville.

Please don't hurt me. 
I'd like to give praise to the DVR for allowing me to watch so many shows in a lot less time since I can fast forward through commercials.

Linking up with Shanna for Random Wednesday. Hey ohhhhhhhh.


  1. In a lot of cases, "mid-season finale" or "winter finale" is just a bunch of hype. Nashville and Revenge are basically just taking the month of December off. A lot of shows do this due to holiday specials and also to allow me to catch up on my DVR viewing. ;)

    BUT, for example, Revolution (which I think you may have dropped?) is taking a four MONTH break and won't be back until the end of March. As a new show that's storyline-driven, that's a HUGE mistake.

    As much as it annoys me when some of my favorite shows don't premiere in the fall (I'm looking at you, Body of Proof), at least I know that once they start again, I'll have nearly nonstop new episodes for the whole season.

    1. When is Body of Proof coming back?

      I did give up Revolution. SO STUPID of them to take that long of a break. That hurt LOST a lot and LOST was a much stronger show.

    2. According to ABC, it returns February 5.

    3. My day's been made by the news of Body of Proof coming back. I miss it. I've recovered from Harry's Law getting the official ax, as I accept I was the lone viewer.

      Steph - on the shared shows we both watch, I agree with everything you took note of, except for just one thing: Aside from Lisa, Brandi's the only one I can root for. It's Kyle, who I think is the true manipulative, calculating spawn. Who needs enemies when you have a sister doing Petron shots while you're struggling to be sober? Poor Kim, her sister is out to sabotage anything and everything involving her getting better.

  2. confession: i watch none of those shows. I am lame I guess! haha

  3. Words cannot express how much I cannot stand Jenelle.

  4. Ok I must comment on my favorites. Duck Dynasty, agreed. Wins hands down.
    Revenge, I love and this winter finale is crap. I, too, want to be Emily Thorne. She's fantastic. Ashley needs to go far far away as does Amanda and the baby. I want Emily to be with Jack but I actually wouldn't mind an Emily Daniel reunion.
    Blair and Chuck better frickin get married.
    And Jenelle. Oh lord Jenelle. That Kesha thing was ridiculous, I could not stop laughing.

  5. Teen Mom 2. I agree with everything you said. Obviously.

  6. Kalinda's storyline this season is The Worst.

  7. I don't watch any of these shows!!!! For someone that doesn't work, I really need to increase my TV watching. i DO think you need to partake in Big Rich Texas. It's amazeballs. I'm also a fan of Sister Wives. I mean, how could you not be?

  8. The only one I watch is Duck Dynasty. That show is the BEST thing since sliced bread!!! Another funny post, my friend!!! Thanks for linking up and I hope you survive the TV show break! ;)

  9. I love the title of this post! Hahaha! I don't really mind winter finales. I think before they used to just stretch out the season with a repeat one week and a new episode the next. That was annoying. And this way I can catch up on movie watching!


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